Men of Reddit, How would you feel if your significant other wanted to hyphenate both of your last names rather than take on just your last name?

Men of Reddit, How would you feel if your significant other wanted to hyphenate both of your last names rather than take on just your last name?


I couldn't care less either way, to be honest.


Long hyphenated last names are just unwieldy.


My mind changed after having my daughter. I grew up in a more traditional household, so it was assumed that the wife takes the husband's name, and to be honest I didn't really think much of it. Now that I have a daughter, its a little bit sad that my daughter is "assumed" to give up her last name. I'm for whatever my daughter wants, including keeping her last name, hyphenated last names, and taking on a new name.


My wife had a cool last name, when we got married I suggested she keep it because she sounded like a comic book superhero. (She then thought I said that because I wasn't serious about the marriage and in an "I'll show you" changed her last name to mine and now she sounds like a girl from the midwest which she is). It really doesn't matter but I'd prefer she just keep her own last name because hyphens are clumsy.


My spouse and I both got to decide what to do with our own names. I would be unhappy if she had tried to dictate what mine should be


I wouldn't give a shit. I'm assuming the more old-school conservative types would though.


In my culture (East African / Arab): You only take the last name of your father. Never your husband. Never an adopting parent. Everyone keeps their last name. I keep mine. She keeps hers. No modification. No hyphenation.


I can’t imagine why on earth she’d have wanted to change her name (she didn’t). It’s a custom that dates to the time when women were legally the property of their husband.


Women in occidental countries were never the property of their husband, at the very least for a good 1500 years.


As long as her last name wasn’t already hyphenated or excessively long.


Meh? My wife didn't change her last name. Wasn't even like a big identity or ideological thing, she was going to and once she had started the putting together the list of necessary paperwork it was kind of a "well fuck that" moment which I completely understand lol.


As long as we both have short names that sound cool fused Or I’ll take her name if it sounds cooler


That would just sound weird, and I'm also published, so I don't think he'd ask me to do that. We would probably just merge our last names when referring to our dog's full name (calling her out when she did something bad).


I wouldn’t have got married personally. It was a close call whether my wife and I married or not, but she was so keen for our future kids and family to have my name so we went ahead with it. If not for keeping with the traditional naming conventions I don’t think I would have had any compelling reason to get married. FWIW Wife and I married for 5 years, together for 16


Wouldn't matter to me at all


I'd want my wife to keep her last name entirely because that's how its done in my native culture.


I wouldn't take my wifes last name, nothing against it happening just not for me, my wife took mine but if she wanted to keep her own then that's cool as well she's her own person and saves so much bother with changing names!


I was married in Quebec where legally the wife cannot take her husbands name since around 1980. It’s not a big deal and an archaic practice.


I told my wife I thought it was an archaic idea, and it's not worth the hassle for her to have to change her name. She agreed, fuck knows what we will do for the kids tho.


I don’t care


Why marry if you don’t want to share the same name? I mean it’s the only real benefit of it.


It’s a dealbreaker for me. My wife takes my last name when we’re married. If she won’t, we aren’t compatible in that arena? I’m guessing she’s also not my type in many other ways.


I’m curious what taking your last name symbolizes to you


For most men it’s carrying family tradition and name to both their wife and kids. It might not seem like a lot, but in all honesty it’s really important.


What about the wife’s of partner’s family tradition and name?


The one where they took on the father's last name? He'd be carrying on that tradition too. I'm assuming we're talking about the US, here.


yeah, what do you think about that- besides “tradition”? What about their lineage?


I don't think about lineages because I don't live in the middle-ages.


Then why is it important for the woman to take a man’s last name?


It's literally a tradition, remember? Seems like you're more interested in asking vague, leading questions than thinking about the responses you're getting.


I've never understood the hyphenation thing. If it comes to that, I'd rather take her name.


Hyphenated names are pretentious. I’d rather take her name if taking mine fed her inferiority complex


I’d feel bad, because it shows I failed to lead and screen my relationship properly. I’d never want to hyphenate my last name, so if my SO suggested it then it means I failed to communicate what I want to her during the course of the relationship or I failed to properly screen her out. If I did it right, she would know my preferences and be on board with it already. The only exception to this for me would be a political marriage. If her name carried political implications and she had that type of ambition, I would respect the importance of her important last name and it’s utility in her career, but if she was just a regular citizen she can take my last name if she wants to be my wife.


Me, my , I.


It shows she isn't invested in me. I'd cut her loose and let her get a pretentious hyphenated name with some other guy.


I told my wife shss taking my last name. I dont want any hyphenated shit. Im more of a traditonalist.


WTF to some of these comments... She takes the man's last name. Simple, why do we complicate the most basic shit?


Bcos it's messed up. Why should the woman change her last name. It is against the most basic fundamental of gender equality. Either of the spouses should be able to change their last names to whatever they want.


It's marriage. Two become one.. Mr and Mrs "insert his last name. Gender equality doesn't exist, we are not equal. Men and women are different, always have been and always will be. No wonder divorce rates are high, relationships have a better chance to fail than succeed. This kind of thinking isn't progressive its regressive. Open your eyes, is it getting us anywhere? A woman takes her daddy's name @ birth and then if she marries, her husband's. Simple, the ABCs of normalcy. This question was asked in a men's subreddit. The answers are pathetic, a man who let's a woman keep her name or hyphenates his is a bitch. Down vote all you want, it's an answer to question, based on an opinion.


I don't want to get married but if I did I wouldn't care. I'd just go along as I prefer married people to share a last name.


I have like 5 names and at this stage I say fuck it, why not add more


Well i changed my name by de-poll at 11. So it wouldn’t bother me whats so ever in the slightest.


I don't really care if you take my name or not. What's important to me is that we share the same so throwing them together seems to make the most sense. Thing is, I want to keep my last name so I wouldn't force you to change yours to mine either. Throwing them together is perfect. I live in germany where that's also pretty common. I have a friend with 2 middle names.


Idk, I hate my lastname. But hers is just As stupid. Mine means carter, hers mean priest. So...Carter priest? Sounds stupid. And then we'd fight over who's name is first. If She'd be from an influential/wealthy family, I wouldnt have a problem taking her name. But As a peasent As we are, I dont think its matters at all.


Wouldn't bother me, or we could take part of each of our names to make a new surname, as a few colleagues of mine have done.


IDGAF. It's her name, she gets to decide what it will be after the wedding. If it were our kids names, I'd be opposed to hyphenation because of how much of a burden it is. But if she doesn't want to give them my last name, I would gladly compromise - we could create a new surname for all of us to use, or I might be receptive to taking her maiden name if it means we will all share a surname. But her name isn't really up for debate. It's her decision. In a healthy relationship, a wife would take her husband's opinion into consideration, but that doesn't mean she would obey his command.


Can I just take their last name instead? I'm not overly fond of mine and don't mind getting rid of it, plus not a fan of hyphenated names.


Personally I don't really like hyphenated last names or when both parties keep their own names. We decided to spend the rest of our life together, so it's weird if we cannot even accept each other's names. My wife was very fond of her last name and because I dislike different last names in marriages I simply took her last name as well. Apparently I'm a minority though (like 6% of men take their wife's name in Germany).


If you are going to do the archaic ceremony, don't half ass it. Jesus. As a man you have to put up half your earnings and future earnings to marry a gal and your last name is an inconvenience to her?.... Shit. Ladies, at least pretend you have some stake in a marriage. We all know you will leave with the house and the kids when you realize you fall out of love. At least women back in the day would play along before taking you to the cleaners. Now she marries you with a mental foot out the door. Hey here's a comprimise for a half assed marriage with vapid inconsequential vows, done in a back yard, by a local Yelp recommended crystal healer: your "life partner" can hyphenate her last name and you can hyphenate you marriage with a series of side dishes. What a joke.


ok boomer


Whatever coomer.




Women also put up half their earnings. Men also have stake in a marriage. And statistically, more men eave the house and children.


What planet do you live on? Women initiate 3/4 of divorces, are awarded child custody 85% of the time and divorce pay outs are almost always given toward a woman. Marriage is such a bad contract for men that no person in there right mind would buy their car or cell phone under the same terms. Nice try though.


Let's get you back to bed, grandpa.


If only it were the other way around youngn' and I could wake up from this nightmare. Best to get some rest I suppose. You take care m'boy. You eat your bugs and smoke your dope, understand? Work hard on that next video game level you are on. I hope that things go well with that video girlfriend of yours, I hear you are her only fan. Night night *yaaaaaaawn


I'm not changing mine, and she can do what she wants with hers.


She is doing that. I am not. Personally I don't care


I would prefer she took my name but it's not a deal breaker if she wants to hyphenate or even just keep her maiden name. If, however, she wants me to hyphenate my own name then I'd be livid especially if she has a foreign name but even if it's an English one. I'm desperate enough to *maybe* consider it but honestly, right now I'd be leaning towards just telling her to get fucked.