T O P

As a dad, how much does it annoy you when you take your kid(s) to the shops and someone says "so you're on babysitting duties"?

As a dad, how much does it annoy you when you take your kid(s) to the shops and someone says "so you're on babysitting duties"?

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Elaan21

That sucks, man. When I was a kid, the foreman for my parents' company (who was a long time family friend) was an emergency contact/can pick up the kid from school person. This dude was built like you (and had some missing teeth - yay rural Appalachia) and basically looked like Grizzly Adams. The school threw a shit fit when he came to pick me up after my mom's car died and my dad couldn't leave the jobsite (they were expecting heavy equipment to arrive to the owner, my dad, had to be there to sign). I immediately recognized this dude, was super happy to see him, he knew the "code word" and all my parents' information. It still took multiple calls by the school to my parents to get them to release me to him. My dad chewed their asses out. This dude had a daughter my age and was an absolute teddy bear of a man. Don't get me wrong, if someone threatened me (or my parents), he would go rage mode, but he was a fantastic "uncle" and I loved him to death. Keep being sasquatch dad! Haters gonna hate.


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Elaan21

Hahahaha....nice! Honestly, I'd feel pretty good if I was watching my friends' kids and a sasquatch dad was around. Ain't nobody gonna mess with kids with sasquatch on patrol. But, given my experiences with sasquatch uncle, I'm probably biased.


Guerenica

The line "Yeah ever since their mum died" usually shuts them down pretty quick.


deadbass72

That's brutal. I love it.


dangil

until they understand what you said and begin crying


audigex

I feel like my kids would rapidly get used to daddy's "Mess with the obnoxious lady" answers


mike_d85

And start providing them if you give them with treats when they play along.


derkrieger

Can confirm, was raised to be sarcastic from a young age.


n0remack

You mere adopted sarcasm... I was born in it...molded by it...


ApoliteTroll

I didn't speak normally until I hit college age, and even then people wasn't sure if I meant what I said.


deadbass72

It's even more brutal once they start crying XD


Biffy_x

I hope they cry lmao


Disco_Ninjas

Then your wife comes around the corner and you say "Hey Sis!" And kiss her.


JPMoney81

"she is number 4 prostitute in all of Kazakhstan!"


SummerPop

'very nice!'


assholetoall

If the person also has kids I like the "no they are my kids and when they get older I hope to take my grandkids out like you are" reply Edit: To be super clear, I can't take credit for this, I read it on Reddit.


The_Pastmaster

OW! Straight for the heart. XD Well done.


NeedsMoreTuba

This reminds me of how often I got asked if this was my first baby while I was pregnant. A couple of times I said, "No. I left the other 3 in the car with the windows rolled up." ...No one ever laughed.


ngatiara

I often get asked when I'm out with my identical twin nieces if they're identical twins, I've started saying "No actually, they're triplets but I left the ugly one at home". I've had a few laughs.


coffeecatsandcorgis

I have twin girls. One blonde hair & brown eyes & the other is a brunette with blue/grey eyes. Their skin tone is different as well as their facial features but people always asked if they were identical. Does no one understand the definition of the word identical??? This always puzzled me.


vXSovereignXv

I (male) have a twin sister and can confirm a surprising number of people don't know what identical means.


coffeecatsandcorgis

Yes! Having twins is like joining some kind of club that I'd didn't know existed. Meaning you encounter people EVERYWHERE that have twins, know twins, are a twin, have twin siblings etc. Typical twin questions were always brought up when I conversed with the other "club" members and a surprising number of boy/girl twins were also asked if they were identical.


AdjNounNumbers

Especially the three you left in the car


Lemesplain

"Actually, I kidnapped them... does that still qualify?"


Braydee7

Thanks. Now I'm using that. Any ideas for when my mom or MIL says it though?


The_Pastmaster

"Of course! Sorry, I AM an idiot. Of course it's your job to do that, being a woman and all. KIDS! YOU'RE STAYING WITH GRANDMA THIS WEEK! Thanks for setting me straight." \*Grateful smile, give them a clap on the shoulder, walk off\*


smom

"Wow, you're old! My generation calls it 'parenting'" But seriously, good luck.


RatherNerdy

To pile on, the worst is when you can't find a baby changing station in the men's room and there is no "family room". I've straight up overtaken a women's room, so that I could change a diaper.


JacobasNile

I remember going into a Dairy Queen and asking where the change station was and the ladies working there chuckled and said to go get my wife as its in the women's washroom and men don't change diapers. I told them off and used the women's washroom much to their anger that they'd call the police on me... and this was only 8 years ago.


oftcrash

"My wife is dead" works, so long as she doesn't show up halfway into the conversation.


Tokzillu

"That's my backup wife. She's learning still."


tsunami141

It’s the decoy wife


Damn_Dog_Inappropes

Wife Model Decoy!


Frylosphy

This happened to me once. I yelled "STOP HAUNTING US!" grabbed my kids and quickly exited the situation.


DestoyerOfWords

This is the best.


HeartOfTungsten

"Why don't you go and get your wife?" ... 5 seconds of dead silence, a sunken face "I lost her to a drunk driver." That'll ruin their day a little.


NightsThyroid

What if you had been gay? Or if your wife was dead? Or simply wasn’t with you? Good on you for sticking it to em and using the station in the women’s room.


[deleted]

Lmao that would be so funny if they were gay. "Sir, you'll need to get your wife to change the diaper." "Uhh that's my husband over there." "..."


popeshayman

*points at a random dude*


queefiest

I’d be like go ahead and call them. They’re just going to tell them they’re wasting police time


VisionsOfTheMind

What about the single fathers? My mom was a piece of work to put it lightly, and my dad took care of me solo from the time I was barely a year old. Yet some women think they are the only victims of sexism. It’s a two way street.


BronzeAgeTea

Ho ho ho, nice try. Everyone knows that single fathers are a myth, like Bigfoot or North Dakota.


woosh_if_gay12

Wyoming*


Webasauraus

Wtf is "Wyoming"?


zerbey

This annoyed me no end, we shared diaper changing duties and often times my wife would be stuck doing it because the men's bathroom didn't have a changing station. I got to know which ones did in the places we visited the most often. The other side of this is some places have baby changing stations outside of the bathrooms and other Moms would give me attitude for using them like I was intruding on a space I wasn't supposed to be. Especially got this when I would be changing my daughter's diaper.


frightenedhugger

I find it best to be blunt and direct with people like that. A firm "fuck off and mind your own business" usually sorts turn out


Snuffy1717

"I'm sorry your husband is too much of a cunt to help out with parenting responsibilities"


RosieEmily

I've told my husband to do this if hes out and needs to change them. He calls inside first, says hes bringing in a kids for a nappy change and goes in. UK ladies toilets are all in completely enclosed cubicles so it's not like he'll see anything anyway.


Vox_Popsicle

I changed my son on the manager’s desk in a store that only had changing tables in the women’s bathroom. My wife was with me. This was making a point.


CeilDeAlta

Power move.


deadbass72

I manage a mattress store, and we have changing stations, nice ones mind you, in both men's and women's rooms. I had this dbag start setting up shop on one of my display beds, and I invited him to use the restroom and he just kept going.


NotThisNonsense

“So, you’ll be purchasing the display model?”


Harbinger147

Had this occur a few years ago when I was a porter as a Chevy dealership... some moron and her BF, decided to change their babies diaper in a brand new top of the line Chevy Traverse... we have changing tables in the bathrooms... you do not need to change the diaper in a car someone is literally going to buy.


Vox_Popsicle

That’s just baggery on his part. You have the stations, he should use them.


deadbass72

As a father myself, I agree. I also take special care to keep our restrooms pleasant to use. Everything is spotless and sanitized. Can't do enough for some people lol.


Shitty_McFuckface

How did you get into the manager’s office?


Silentlynx_32814

“Professionals have standards”


Coyltonian

In the U.K. 95%+ of places have the baby changing facilities in the (unisex) disabled toilet. Most of the remainder have dedicated baby changing rooms or family rooms where you can take toddlers and babies and everything with you. Only seen one or 2 places with changing tables in men’s and women’s bathrooms and only a couple of very remote/rural places where there were no changing facilities (for any parents) at all and had to change them in the backseat or boot of the car.


Canazza

Yeah, what I'm getting from this thread is that America lacks both Dad-oriented facilities *and* Accessible facilities.


Karmasita

You're not wrong


CafeSilver

The southern United States is terrible about changing stations in general. Almost never have them in the men's room and I'd say more than 50% of the time there isn't one in the women's room either. I had no shame changing my son in the women's bathroom. But the amount of times I ended up having to change him on the damn bathroom floor is too many to count. I had a changing pad I could put down but still, incredibly frustrating.


Geckko

This so much, nothing is as much fun as changing as changing a crap filled diper while sitting on the floor of a McDonald's bathroom since they didn't even have adequate counter space.


shroom2021

Had this happen at a fast food place when traveling. The staff wouldn't let me use the women's room to change my son either. I ended up changing him in a booth near the front counter. They'd given me no other choice really.


BastouXII

Done that plenty of times. I don't feel shame anymore. Anyway, most women present usually change pretty quick from *what-the-hell* to *oh-nice-a-dad-who-can-take-care-of-his-child*.


Dienowwww

People automatically assume a father has nothing to do with their child's life. Most of them assume the adult is either a creep, or someone who's just temporarily watching the kids because their mother is busy It pisses me off


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Dienowwww

Precisely the assumptions people usually make


Tyco2018

I became a father at a young age ,17 and when I would pick up my daughter and take her out for dinner just me and her, its weekly thing for us, you wouldn't believe the dirty looks and rude comments I've received from people about being a pedo or a creep especially when she was about 14 to age 20, she's 22 now, and now it has changed to other men giving me the thumbs up and basically saying nice job on getting a young lady, and them having absolutely no clue that I'm just hanging out with my daughter. People suck


midnite17

Just watched the movie Blood Father. Not normally a fan of Mel Gibson, but this movie was alright. Really cool motorcycle scenes. Anyways. There's a scene where an extra asks Mel about his daughter in the movie, saying with obvious implications "where'd you find her?". Without skipping a beat, he answers "In the fucking delivery room." something along those lines should be your answer to all the nudgy winky guys, shut them right the hell up.


Effingehh

This reminds me of something that happened to my Uncle. He was at a pool party with my aunt (his wife) and my aunt’s family. A man came up to my Uncle and my aunt’s brother and pointed at my aunt from afar and said, “Who is that woman? She has gigantic breasts.” My uncle just looked at his brother-in-law then at the guy and goes, “that’s my wife and his sister.” The man apparently went red with embarrassment and fumbled through a nervous apology and ran away lmao


themoogleknight

that's also just...wildly dumb. Like, a woman is with some guys, odds are she's going to be married to or related to them or something. What kind of answer was he expecting??


The_Pastmaster

Props to her for not being shamed into stop doing your thing. And yes, assholes are everywhere.


Drunkstrider

Assholes are truly everywhere. I had a bitch call security on me for taking my infant daughter into the ladies room to change her shitty diaper. There was no changing station in the mens bathroom. Only in the womens bathroom.


stormtiger88

Relevant: I'm female. If I see a guy coming out of the men's room with a baby, I ask if the men's room has a changing station/he was able to change his kid. If not, I offer to clear out the ladies' room and play look out for him so he can change the diaper. I have actually filed complaints against managers on two occasions for getting shitty with me and the dad over it. If you don't want men changing their kids in the women's bathroom, either install family/gender neutral restrooms or put changing tables in the fucking men's rooms!


Bigbadbobbyc

Bless you, a woman did this for me when I went shopping with my son, except she already knew there wasn't a changing room in the men's and offered to clear out the woman's bathroom and guard the door for me


stormtiger88

I had a friend whose dad was a single father and told me the story of getting the cops called on him for "molesting a kid in public," which was just him changing her diaper in the parking lot in his car because the men's room didn't have a station. After that story, I try to look out for the dads who are out and about without a female companion to assist with the diaper changes.


Googoo123450

This is the most what the fuck posts in this thread. As another guy I can't imagine making a comment to another guy about the girl he's with regardless of what I think their relationship is. People are nosy as shit. Sorry you have to deal with that.


le_sighs

It's not just guys. When I was in my 20s, I once dropped something off at my Dad's office, and there was a new woman working there. At some point I called him Dad, and she said, "Oh! I thought you were his girlfriend!" And then, as if that weren't bad enough, she said, "I was going to say, good for you." It was one thing to think it. It was another thing entirely to say both of those things out loud. My Dad's hilarious, though. When I was commenting later about how mortifying it was, in his most deadpan, Eastern European way, Dad said, "Some people are born stupid and don't do anything to fix it." I could not stop laughing.


GrumpySam55

I want your dad. He is mine now. Sry


devildogdareyou

My dad was 27 when he and my mom had me. I've been to a few of his work functions/trade shows with him, and so many people would come up to us and say "Oh, is this (my mom's name)?" I hated it so much that I found any reason to refer to him as my dad in any new conversation.


funky_mugs

Omg I've had this too. My dad was 32 when I was born and went grey when I was about 10. From when I was about 16, I've often had people ask am I his wife? Wtf is wrong with people.


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level27jennybro

Ugh, and I have a feeling that the public embarrassment didn't actually teach the guy to stop with the younger woman sex jokes.


Death_By_Schnu_Schnu

I was holding my baby sister (I was 17, she was 1) whilst out with our dad one day and an old lady came over to say how pleased we must be with our baby girl and how we made a lovely couple. I was dying so hard inside of awkwardness but managed to fix a smile onto my face and thank this old lady because let's be honest she was like 80 and had good intentions... even if she was crazy and didn't see anything odd about a 16 year old having a baby with a 46 year old.


SameOldSongs

I remember when a classmate had a planned pregnancy with her longtime husband, also a college student, and classmates would remark that "it's cute how he helps her." This infuriated me so much. He's not helping her. Those (twins) are *his own damn children.*


[deleted]

It's so adorable when a male actually fulfils his role in a relationship


DestoyerOfWords

I just got out of moving in with my in-laws for about 9 months and they were shocked at how my husband and I switched off at who made dinner. I'm pregnant now and would completely expect this kind of shit from them when our kid is born.


P0ster_Nutbag

Not a dad myself, but an uncle. My sister in law is a mostly stay at home mom, but teaches a yoga class once or twice a week. My brother obviously has to look over his kids during that time. My parents constantly refer to that as babysitting... and it drives me nuts. I constantly interject, and tell them that that’s just parenting, but there’s just something the older generation doesn’t get about that.


pudface

I get that kind of thing from my in laws sometimes. My mother in law always says to my wife ‘You’re so lucky to have a husband that helps around the house as well as being handy!’ While it is an ego boost for me, i feel like it’s just expected of a functioning adult in a household. My father in law isn’t useless but he isn’t really held to a very high standard - he very occasionally cooks & cleans and is somewhat handy but isn’t very driven, plus he’s getting older now. It seems like the bar for older generations men is set pretty low.


flashmonkey26

My husband had dinner with this family while I was out of town once. They kept praising him and calling him just such a great dad. All because he didn't order alcohol at the restaurant. Because he didn't drive drunk with our kids. That's how low they set the bar for him. Meanwhile they have never called me a good anything. He is a good dad and yes, he was annoyed by this.


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TheManRedeemed

It starts off as simply irritating,but after a while it can become demoralizing. Nearly 7 years ago my wife came to me and sat me down. She was in bad place. She had given up her pursuit of being a professional in her desired career path and felt like the regret was becoming too much. And I could see that it was eating her up so I simply said "Okay, I'm now a stay at home dad. Go get a job and show them what you're made of, baby". And for 7 years I've been treated like a novelty by complete stranger wherever I go. Mainly women. But even blokes come up to me and ask me shit like "Did the Missus stick you with the kids again ey?" or "What did you do wrong to get that sentence, mate?" Well you know what? I'm a fucking *amazing* dad. It turns out that the other shit I had done in my life was just a prologue to the main story. My kids love having me around. I'm an outstanding cook. I'm so organised from my time leading a landscaping team and having to control 3 - 5 knucklehead labourers that I can wrangle 5 kids *and* get the housework done each day. And to be boiled down to a bullshit comment nearly each and every time I go out with my boys really gets to me. I've even had women assault me for using the parents room. Police called on me for being perverted because I had to change a nappy in public. Being questioned in a shopping mall while my son cries and is scared is infuriating as hell. Single mums ( never the same one twice though ) at my kids school have hit on me because the only reason a bloke would be dropping his kids off and picking them up from school everyday, and volunteering for parent duty and outings, would be because he's single and he *has* to do it, right? Why can't I just love being a Dad? What makes you think that this isn't the best thing I can be? Basically, all I hear now whenever shit like that happens is "You have a dick therefore you aren't as good as caregiver as a mother and if you're doing this then it's not by choice". So to answer your question. It used to annoy me a *lot*. Now it just feels like it chips away at me. Still, best job I ever had. 10/10 will be best Dad ever. edit : I'm completely floored, people. I saw this askreddit just before bed and, I wake up to tidal wave of support. You all seriously made me cry a little. I always tell myself that I don't need the thanks or accolades, being a Dad *is* the reward. But I'd be lying if I said it didn't soothe the sting a little. Thank you all.


TakenIsUsernameThis

I'm in the uk, and twelve years ago I used to get comments when out with my daughter, and also problems finding babychanging places, but four years ago with my son I had no comments and all the babychanging places were unisex. Noticable progress! My wife has been very good on occasion when people congratulate her on having a successful career whilst also having two kids, and will ask her how she managed - she says she has a husband who does all the childcare, and then asks them if they ever ask that same question of successful men? When people see successful men with a family, they take it for granted that there was a wife around to look after the kids and don't appreciate or recognise the huge contribution that having free access to 24 hour childcare, catering and housekeeping can make to career progression.


jseego

> When people see successful men with a family, they take it for granted that there was a wife around to look after the kids and don't appreciate or recognise the huge contribution that having free access to 24 hour childcare, catering and housekeeping can make to career progression. Especially the luxury of not having to have both parents work.


Damn_Dog_Inappropes

> "What did you do wrong to get that sentence, mate?" "Fuck you, cunt. I love my kids!"


NocentBystander

18 to Life for loving my kids and wife.


dontcallmemonica

Maybe I can change your perspective a little, because frankly I don't think at all that *you* are the one who should be made to feel shitty here. My husband is far from perfect (I mean who the heck isn't?) but he's always been extremely involved with our kids. Doctor, dentist, teachers and school principal, coaches, etc are just as familiar with him as they are with me. Anytime that kind of sexist comment is made I feel pity for the person who made it. I honestly feel really sad for them, that the person they chose to spend their life with doesn't see it as partnership and feels that their children are a chore. This is a team effort, and getting your kids through to the other side of childhood is a solid job regardless of your gender. The next time someone makes a comment to you like that, just remember how sad and small their world must be if they can only see one possible storyline there. Yours is more like a "choose your own adventure", and it sounds like you're killing it.


The_Fish95

I had to upvote your comment because you are a great Father, and I think your awesome.


txgirl09

>And I could see that it was eating her up so I simply said "Okay, I'm now a stay at home dad. Go get a job and show them what you're made of, baby". > > > >If God dont have this kind of love/support planned for me, then I don't want it.


bachelor_pizzarolls

Are there any potential unconscious comments made that hurt you, vs. the obvious digs about mom>dad? I love any parent who wants to be a stay at home parent (I am not one of those parents). I just want to make sure I'm not doing something almost without realizing how stupid it is. Also I promise to block and tackle for any dad/non female caregiver out solo that wants to use a changing table in a ladies room.


wurly_toast

If you think "would I say this/react this way if the child were out with their mom?" then its probably not ok.


The_Good_Constable

Yesterday at the pediatrician's office the nurse asked, "So how did you get stuck coming today? Mom working?" Zero chance she's ever asked a mom that in her career.


thegrimrita

When my son was in the hospital, it made so much more sense for my husband to stay with him because he doesn't drive, I could get there in 20 minutes but it would have taken him over an hour and only one of us were allowed to stay, the entire time he was either questioned whether Mum was involved or ridiculously praised for staying with him. When our son was born my husband stayed with us from when we went in until kicking out time on the ward, they literally couldn't believe he hadn't gone home yet, I mean his first child had just been born and he wanted to be involved whilst I recovered from being sliced open and a tiny human yanked from my womb. The next day the nurse came to me and said they'd never seen a Dad stay as long as he did in 20 years of working on maternity. Baffles me.


LittleRubberDucky54

That's honestly pretty sad, just imagine you gave birth and the next thing they tell you is that your husband went home because it took too long :(


Massless

My dad went to the golf course and didn’t come home for the next two days. But, like, there were other issues there


RoranceOG

I was born on my dads bday, he angrily drove my mom to the hospital and drove away to go get more drunk with his friends before she had a chance to close the car door


barbarianbob

My daughter was born the day after my birthday. I was really hoping she'd be born on my birthday. Then I'd be effectively immortal.


inb4circlejerk

That’s wild. I also had a c-section with my first, and my boyfriend stayed with me 5 out of 6 days hospital stay. He left one night because he had a college final the next morning, and a few times to feed the cats or get me something from home. I relied on him so heavily for help, and don’t know what I would have done without him at the time. We had our second kid two months ago and he could only visit when family could watch the older toddler, which wasn’t often since most of them were being reckless covid idiots. Luckily that c-section went smoother and I recovered faster. Also had excellent nurses who politely played along when I complained about my boyfriend not being able to visit as much as I wanted him to.


Triggerhappysmf

Seriously? I never left the hospital the five days my wife was in labor/ postpartum. I can’t imagine leaving a bedridden woman who was up for 3 days straight to care for a newborn for any length of time. Like yup good luck babe ima go home and play video games.


trazom28

Similarly - when dropping our kids off at daycare (10-15 yrs ago) - at drop off I'd take the moment to make sure they were settled in and ready to go, and again on pick up, I'd ask how the day went. Workers told me that no other dad did this ever. I'm like.. uhh.. why wouldn't you? Still can't wrap my head around it. And when they were born, aside from being sent out for a root beer for the first, and having to go to a funeral for the second - I was there. Same thought.. my wife just had our child, where else would I be? It's mind blowing. But then, I work at a K-12 (not a teacher) and so many "parents" have little to no involvement in their child's life on so many levels. I'm not saying be a helicopter parent, but dang.. at least show up, and get them to do homework and come to school.


urbanlulu

> at drop off I'd take the moment to make sure they were settled in and ready to go, and again on pick up, I'd ask how the day went. normally my mom picked me up cause it was easier for her to do so, and my dad was usually working, but anytime it was my dad who took me in he'd always do the same thing. i remember once for some reason kid me got really bad anxiety over being at preschool and i started to cry and wouldn't let go of my dad cause i was all scared and what not. most parents would just kick the kid off and make the teacher comfort the kid but i remember my dad staying and the teacher allowing him to sit with me until i was okay and comfortable. i still remember being upset when he left, but it's still a heart warming to know my dad wasn't just gonna boot me off from the get-go.


hallstevenson

The irony is, *the nurse is a woman and is working*. Who takes her kid(s) on days she has to work ?


prime-meridian

Single Dad here, I get looks from moms, when I bring my son to the pediatrician, but nobody says anything to me directly. The Doctor's a man, and he understands, his staff understands, but the other parents, not so much.


audigex

I'd make them regret their decision: "No, she died 4 years ago" Also works with the "Ooh, what are you apologising for" when buying flowers. "They're for her grave, thanks for asking" (or "My dad's grave" if my partner is next to me etc) They're what I like to call my "fuck off and mind your own business" answers


calcbone

I had one of those... my wife and I drove separately to my daughter’s yearly checkup one time, daughter was in the car with me and we get there first. We sign in, and the lady at the desk has a few forms for us. “Do you think you can fill them out, or do you need to wait for your wife?” “I’ll be fine.” “Are you sure?” Do you really assume I don’t know whether my own kid can run, jump, form sentences...?


IAmNaaatBorat

Should have said "I usually come when my wife is not working."


Bells87

My mom would usually take me to all the pediatrician appointments. My dad, however, always took me to the dentist.


deadbass72

I don't know if anyone else gets this line often, but I do. "Oh, looks like you're Mr. mom today" There's a word for dad. It's dad.


masheduppotato

I have gotten that a few times. After the first time it happened, any time it had happened since, I've looked the person in the eyes and said, "Yeah, she's Mrs. Dad today, we like to role play like that, kinky isn't it?" and then just continue what I'm doing before I was interrupted.


CaliAnywhere

My husband embraces it. He’s been the full-time parent for our 3 kids while I work. When he left work to take care of them I got him a muscle T-shirt that says Mr. Mom. He got so much attention from that T-shirt that he ordered another one when the first one wore out.


Zjoee

You should get a shirt that says Mrs. Dad on it so y'all can match haha. I work from home so I'll be one taking care of my kids whenever the cloning process is done.


Damn_Dog_Inappropes

Ha! That'd be awesome!


richfarr

I was a stay-at-home dad for over 6 years and heard that refrain a lot. Got a lot of "Mr. Mom" comments too. Hated that because it implies that men can't be caregivers and keep their masculinity. I'm a good parent and women don't have a monopoly on that. At one point I found a t-shirt that read "Dads don't babysit, it's called parenting". That stopped some of the babysitting comments.


ayakokiyomizu

My dad had a shirt that said "Real Men Change Diapers". This was in the 80s. I never asked but it was probably homemade because it had that stick-on letter look (like the "Vote for Pedro" shirt in Napoleon Dynamite).


drtapp39

Better than taking them to the park and people automatically assuming you're a pedophile while you watch them


summer_biscuits

When our daughter was younger, I was at work and her dad took her out. He met up with his friend so it was 2 guys and a 1yr old. One of my sister’s friends text her to say that she saw my daughter with 2 men and even took a sneaky picture! My sister text back saying “That’s her dad she’s with!!” Such an awful stigma that whenever men are alone with a baby or child that they’re immediately up to no good or a pedo!


Cheshire_Cat8888

Ugh that’s horrible. There’s so many situations that could’ve been besides that too. (Not talking about just your sisters friend but in general though) The girl could have had two dads, it could’ve been a dad and the girl’s uncle or whatever, and more.


The_Pastmaster

I read a post on imgur a bunch of years ago. OP was with his girl at the playground and some lady convinced two guys he was a paedophile and jumped him. While they beat the shit out of him, the lady tried her best to "save" the girl who was deeply traumatised by the whole thing. Ended with him suing the police departement, the two guys, and the lady got sent to prison. He ended up in a wheelchair and his girl had to get years of therapy and developed a deep mistrust towards middle-aged women.


Umbraldisappointment

Just what kind of twisted nutsack does such thing?


The_Pastmaster

Her defence was that he was "obviously" grooming the girl and that she needed to be saved. Cops later turned on her after the wife got involved and I recall her (the lady) getting violent.


Googoo123450

Ya when society assumes you're a pedo BEFORE assuming you're a father or relative there's something wrong. Can't be great for the self image of men as a whole.


summer_biscuits

Oh absolutely! I couldn’t believe it when she told me! My partner just laughed it off because he’s very laid back, but I was really upset for him. Such an awful stigma that some people have.


Snowbattt

Or worse, when you have no kids at all. Being on a bench in a park almost becomes off limits for us if there's kids around because they think I must be a predator. I literally never sit on a park bench because of that. Last time I was wondering; imagine I'm in the zoo alone for example since I love animals and I'm minding my own business and I see a crying child alone. He's lost. What do I do? Instinctively, I'd take him to the entrance near the reception and wait there since I assume that's where his parents would be coming. Plus, the employees at the reception could for example use the speaker system to call for the parents, right? Yeah imagine someone catches you taking a kid that isn't yours towards the entrance. They assume you're kidnapping his ass. Or, I could not give a shit about the kid and leave him there, crying and let someone else deal with it. That's kind of a dick move too. So tell me? What do I do? I'll tell you: I'd have to ask a passer-by couple to deal with it, because a couple taking a kid to the entrance is not suspicious. A few years ago, I was just taking a walk and I see a boy who must have been 10-12 looking a bit distressed near his bike. I asked him what's up and he says the chain came off and he can't really fix it. What am I supposed to do? Tell him that it sucks to be him and carry on? Well to be sure nobody thinks I'm suspicious, I asked him if his parents were around and told him to go get them. They were on foot, also taking a walk and were further away behind the boy. In the meantime, while the boy was off to get his parents, I fixed his bike. He came back with his dad, his dad told the boy to thank me and all was well. But it's sad that we live in a society where I felt so uncomfortable talking to the boy alone that I had to order him to go get his parents.


Elaan21

I travel to present at conferences and usually schedule my flights so I can spend some time sightseeing (or even book an extra hotel night on my own dime to do so). I was at the San Diego Zoo by myself and had a blast. At one point I went to ride the gondolas they have and a father with two boys said I could ride with them. I made conversation and asked the boys questions like "what's your favorite animal?" The dad seemed somewhat weirded out. Like, bruh, I'm not gonna sit in silence here. I didn't even ask their names. I'm a woman. I can't imagine how that would have gone if I were a dude.


assholetoall

We don't get asked to ride with anyone.


P0ster_Nutbag

Damn, I was looking for a specific story I remember reading where a toddler wandered away from their parents at their other kids baseball game, and then when a passerby tried to find and reunite them with their parents, the parents flipped and called them a pedo and slandered them beyond belief.... But it’s hard to find it, because there’s apparently a ton of these stories. Such an annoying thing, can’t even help lost children, because everyone just assumes you’re the culprit.


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jasmarket1

They had us in the first half not gonna lie


reborngoat

Holy shit this. I've gotten so many dirty looks at the park while I sit and watch my kids play.


impatientasallhell

Babysitting? No, these kids are mine. It annoys me quite a bit. You don’t babysit your own kids. I’m excited when I get to bring my kids because it’s more time I get to spend with them. I’m often working until 6pm or so and even with a short commute I barely get any quality time with them.


[deleted]

(Not me, obviously but,) My dad (my parents are divorced) is quick to tell them to shut the fuck up fuck off whenever he's with my sister. He said this to my aunt's husband, "It's sad that you see me spending time with my own damn child as "babysitting" because I'm divorced. But what's even sadder is that you don't spend a single minute with your own children despite still being with their mother. I'm not babysitting my daughter, I'm just with her, the same way her mother is. Now fuck off." AH MAI GAWD I LOVE IT.


neckdeepfan15

Legend


V02D

We don't have a word for "babysitting" in my language, so I can't know. But I do feel something similar when my kid's teachers have to tell us something about him and they always speak to my wife, without even looking at me.


The_Pastmaster

Direct translation from my language is "child guard". As in Guard the Child from getting hurt/killed.


NarcanAddict

Child guarding sounds way cooler than babysitting


legaldrugdlr

This is when you get your wife to tell the teacher "tell my husband, he looks after the kids".


The_Pastmaster

"Why are you telling ME this? It's HIS job to look after them."


RabbitOfCaerbonnog

I had this happen a few times when bringing my daughter places. She was 6 when we went I brought her to an auto race. This complete stranger who looks about the same age as me, with his younger girlfriend is leaning back on the seat a few rows down. He looks back and says, "Let me guess. The ex wouldn't keep her this weekend?" I was a bit surprised at the question. But I answered, "Not at all. Just a father sharing his love of the sport like my father did with me." Then I held my left hand up and said, "It's nice to know one of us hasn't failed at marriage or parenting for that matter." Didn't hear another word from him.


Genocide_Fan

No, apparently I'm not supposed to sit on them anymore


NightSkye0174

I can verify that you are a dad now


Pxander

Without a doubt one of the most annoying things to be asked as a dad. No, you fuck nut, its called, "having my kids"


[deleted]

At this point I accept that they’re not trying to be insulting and just point out that father’s don’t babysit and let it go but I was really surprised how women treat father’s early on. I took my son to the store for some Christmas shopping when he was just under a year old and some random woman came up to us asking if I was on babysitting duty. “Shouldn’t you be home making your husband a sandwich” just came out of my mouth and women near enough to her both comments were aghast that anyone could be so sexist. None of them seemed to understand that calling me the babysitter was just as sexist and insulting.


BronzeAgeTea

Play 1950s games, win 1950s prizes.


[deleted]

Massivly! But even my wife does it, she thanks me for looking after my son... he's my sone so I don't need a thanks for watching him and I don't baby sit him!


myles5239

Mrs: "can you babysit her while I go to the shops?" Me: "no" Mrs: "why not? She's your daughter too!" Me: "she is, and I'm her dad. I'm more than happy to be her dad while you go shopping, but I ain't no babysitter!" Mrs: "fair call" And that stopped all that nonsense lol.


BronzeAgeTea

The difference is that babysitters are paid to do it, and fathers just do it.


NocentBystander

I'll babysit my kids for 7.50 an hour and two Otter Pops.


devilooo

She probably thanks you because she is grateful. I thank my boyfriend for doing the dishes eventho he is supposed to do them anyway. It’s to show appreciation.


a-r-c-2

I had to call the police on these two cunty women who were staring at my nieces and me at the playground last year. I could smell their BS from across the park, so I just called non-emergency and said that two suspicious women were ogling me and my nieces and it was making us uncomfortable. The cops made them leave lmao. I hope they had a good lie to tell their kids who were bawling because they had to go home early.


dungeon-crawlin

Uno reverse


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Hobo-King-Niklz

And god forbid you speak up like, "I'm just here to get groceries, not hear stories from strangers." You're a rude asshole for... Valuing your own time, I guess? Man, strangers are dickheads.


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BronzeAgeTea

That social contract works both ways. Now they get to listen to me ramble on about my Dungeons & Dragons campaign.


MrMastodon

"So here I am in Wave Echo Cave, and this little fuckknuckle goblin Yeemik is trying to get me to assassinate his Bugbear boss"


[deleted]

Strangers really are dickheads. It’s unrelated to kids - well, I guess I’m the 40 year old kid in this story - but my mom had a stroke about a decade ago. I can’t tell you how often strangers approach my mom to offer their medical opinions. Usually it’s something along the lines of “it’s all in your head”. No shit. It’s called a brain injury, asshole.


stinx2001

My son is 18 months. Luckily haven't encountered this, on the flipside there's actually a lot of guys with their kids at the parks, shops etc in my area.


ThatZach

That’s actually awesome


Atomic-Kitties

Not a dad, but I do have a story! My partner recently took our daughter out for some alone time and came home perplexed at how many people said that to him. I think his response each time was, 'why the hell would I babysit my own kid?' He'll sometimes call or text me after work and say, 'get her dressed and ready, we're going on an adventure'. Why do some people just assume that a dad won't be willing to do just that?


SpaceCakeWithRedbull

Confession: it took me far too long to realize how you weren't a dad yet you still had a daughter.


KeyKitty

You’re funny. I like you.


The_Pastmaster

It's like that age old joke. A man and his son are in a car accident. They are taken by ambulance to different hospitals. The doctor comes in and says "Get someone else. I can't treat this patient. It's my son." I have watched people scratching their heads for 10 minutes straight, failing to realise that the doctor is the sons mother.


iamsoooooooscared

"Nope. I stole them" "RUN!"


Throwaway7219017

Was a stay at home dad for 9 years. After a time, I got sick of the comments and would whisper to the offending party (so the kids wouldn’t hear): “My wife is dead”. She wasn’t, but it shut them up.


mechtonia

I am the father of 4 boys. My wife had a few surgeries and it pissed me off to no end when people would ask what I'm going to do with the kids during her recovery. I wanted so badly to tell them that just because they married an imbecile that would starve if he wasn't fed by someone and go naked if he wasn't clothed by someone, doesn't mean that I'm not a fully self-sufficient adult and parent. Hell, I have prepared better meals in the middle of the wilderness on a campfire than your damn hamburger helper supper that you fed your kids last night.


annoyingapple_231

I'm not a dad or a man, but it pisses me off. I'm not babysitting this tiny potato looking thing for fun. Its called parenting.


whiterice07

In theory, I'd probably snap back with some snarky comment about not babysitting my own kid, just being a parent. In reality, my son is almost 6 and I've never had this situation occur.


DollarPhilanthropist

Last time I said "fuck no, me and the boys are out to grab some tins, tren and clean so we can get fuckin shredded" My three year old just heard the excited meat head tone and said "fuck yeah!" The other parents were speechless.


Plasmablast3O7

This this is true art.


Vox_Popsicle

I lived in a very poor city in Texas. When my wife talked to the school, she got ignored. When I called them with the same request, I was treated like a hero and obeyed immediately. It felt wrong to get more respect based on my sex, but where it helped my kid, I did it.


ProudBoomer

We found the same thing in our fairly well to do town. If my wife went into the school to get something done, she was basically ignored and dismissed. I went in and played the annoyed Dad and things got done. While it pissed us off, we used it to our advantage. My wife would stifle the giggles because she knows I'm normally passive, but in the school I'd get all blustery and people would start jumping. Then we'd get home and I'd smile and start barking just for show. She'd come up, give me a gentle kiss and say "That doesn't work on me darling, and you know it."


Hobo-King-Niklz

Knock it off, I'm trying to be a cold, jaded, cynical bastard over here and this wholesome shit is giving me the warm fuzzies.


ProudBoomer

Sorry. Would it help if I told you to pissoff?


Hobo-King-Niklz

Then I could call you a wanker or something and grumble on along my day.


ProudBoomer

Pissoff, ya bastard.


Hobo-King-Niklz

Razzin frazzin no good wanker... everybody sucks but me, blah blah blah


whyaretherenone

I generally refer to them as “witnesses” and inform them that the kids parents aren’t aware I have their child


AlienAle

I think a lot of mothers are annoyed by this too.. it makes it sound as if taking care of the children as solely "her duty" and if the father is being a father, that means she's slacking on her duties and using a "baby-sitter".


TakeMe2TheRiver

As a mother I can confirm this does annoy the shit out of me. Anytime I'm out somewhere without the kids and come across someone I know usually the first thing out of their mouths is "where are the kids, Dad must be on babysitting duty".


Friskman1

When my daughter was about one, a friend of my ex wanted to take her shopping for a girls night out. Very sweetly, this friend asked if I minded babysitting for the evening. I was in shock because I'd never heard the term before in relation to a father watching his own child/children. She's an insanely sweet person, so I knew she didn't mean it as an insult, but she also didn't understand why I questioned the term "babysitting" in relation to my child. No harsh words flew, mainly because she's always been nice. She'd grown up with those around her using the term for when fathers spent time with their kids. This still confuses me a couple decades later.


red_eye_rob

As a married gay dad, I don’t really recall hearing anyone say something like that. Maybe a time or two they might ask if we had a female friend with us if they were the mother. However, when our son was in diapers, he would always have a blow out that would require a full outfit change when we went out to a restaurant. Hardly any men’s bathrooms had a changing table. Why is diaper changing a woman’s only thing? What if a father was just out with his kid alone, or was a single dad, or whatever, he can’t change his kids diaper cuz it’s a woman’s job? Instead I’d have to take him out to my truck to change him. The front seat of my truck literally saw some shit.


[deleted]

I'm a great dad and I have amazing kids. You'd be shocked at how little I give a fuck about random peoples uninformed, unsolicited commentary of our family dynamics. For all I know mosquitoes could be saying "FUCK YOU YOU'RE A TERRIBLE PARENT AND PERSON" but I just hear "BZZZZZZZZZZZ". This is the same thing.


tjeick

Honestly I've been a SAHD for like 6 months and I haven't really had much of it. I've been surprised. Sometimes, I feel like people look at me a little funny when I have my daughter with me at the grocery store at 10am on a Monday, but I am there with her, not with them. I talk to her, work on my shopping, and respond kindly to people who tell me how cute she is. I mean, she is pretty damn cute.


gozba

I started working parttime the moment my kid was born. One the off days I never really got those remarks (maybe because it is more common here). We used to have a routine in supermarket. It would make-believe hit my kid, stating “You’re a terrible kid!” Kid would hit me back “You’re a terrible father!” and run away. Always good for some shocked reaction and a laugh.


shroom2021

My goto when someone makes a comment like this is to heavy sigh and say "if only his mother was still around".


GreatScotch

Ive never gotten that. However the amount of people that have seen me alone with my daughter and act as though Im the only man theyve seen spending time together with their little girl is litterally insane to me. One woman insisted on buying our lunch because of it.


AlliedSalad

I respond by acting bemused, like it's the first time I've been asked. I'll ask something in return, like, "Why 'babysitting'? Is it really babysitting if they're your kids?" This way, I'm not rude or confrontational, but it still prompts them to think about why they asked it in that way in the first place. Most people realize it's in poor taste to assert that it's "the woman's job" to take care of the kids, so the response is usually something like an embarrassed, "I guess not," followed by a change of subject.


Forevryours

Not a Parent but a happy to babysit your little ones friend. Well one couple has 5 kids and once a month grandma and grandpa would take the 4 oldest butt to couldn’t take the baby as that was just too much. So I offered to take him Friday and bring him back Sunday so the parents could have a truly “just us” weekend. Well since I had the car seat I would do whatever I needed to, like shopping and so forth. Man the look on peoples faces when they would ask how old and I would put on my “thinking” face and start counting on my fingers was hilarious. Once their expression changed I would inform them I a the babysitter, but the expressions never got old. They ranged from curious to outright horrified. Lmao.