What can ruin a perfectly calm morning?
By - Slightly-Unsecure
Not remembering where you are when you wake up.
“Hey you... finally awake!”
Dammit Todd Howard you’ve done it again
Go back to your basement Joe.
Samuel L Jackson voice in Jurassic Park: *PLEASE!! GOD DAMMIT!!*
When the coffee machine is not alligned and you walk back to see hot coffee everywhere......
At my first real job I got to the office early one morning. It was just me and a senior VP at that point. I walk into the kitchen after chatting with her, and see our giant industrial coffee maker spilling everywhere. We’re talking about 5 gallons of water and coffee. I freeze, and she sees me, but can’t see the mess. She asked me “is something wrong?” And I respond “yeah, but I’m not sure if I get paid to fix it or not.” She got a kick out of that, and kept laughing all the way to the mop closet. Turns out it was her mistake that left the machine on. We cleaned it up and she got me a $50 gift card for helping with a nice little note joking about my promotion to part-time coffee inspector.
Or you forgot to put your cup on the Keurig.
This is how I found out that the tray on the bottom holds exactly 10oz of liquid.
When you DO put your cup under but you forgot to put coffee in the machine. So you come back to a cup of hot, tinted water.
Years ago I prepared my automatic coffee maker for the next morning by filling the basket with grounds and the reservoir with water, except I forgot to put the pot in it's place. Woke up the next morning to find coffee liquid and grounds all down the side of the coffee maker, sizzling on the burner, and the whole mess dripping down/inside my lower kitchen cabinets. The mess was incredible.
Oh, that’s too relatable.
When the office has to change seating arrangements and you're stuck listening to the new nook mates stories about their "perfect little children" and all the incredibly boring and average antics that they get into at volumes approaching jet engine levels. We're on hour three. Send help or cyanide
Man I have one that sits next to me that is totally unaware of social cues. In other words, he can't take a hint when to stop talking.
He announces to everyone nearby "I need to go to the bathroom" before doing it.
I'll have headphones in, hear him talking in the background, and turn around and realize he's talking to me while I'm staring at my computer not paying attention whatsoever.
Once he was giving some sort of monologue to me while he was looking at his computer, I stood up, went to the bathroom, and when I returned he was still talking and didn't know that I left.
It's my worst fear being that guy. I go the nuclear option and literally only talk to people that talk to me first. Luckily I'm very busy so I have an easy out to leave at any moment if someone "traps" me. This morning has been very quiet and I'm stuck here listening to EVERYTHING
When you walk past your door and the door handle catches your clothing.
Oop yes, the most frustrating thing specially with morning brain
In fact this!
Or pull your ear buds and Yanks the aux cord so hard it breaks the port on your phone/ mp3
The asshole that revs their “weedwhacker” on their way to work.
My kid who wakes me up at 2am because they’re bored.
My cat either chewing on plastic or gagging on vomit.
My dog vomiting.
Hearing your pet start to gag
You know you could do something, but you're too sleepy to do it so you just watch your pet throw up like -_-
And then they happily walk up to you for pets.
That's what I was just about to say. Cat walks off of the hardwood floor onto the carpet and starts going, "hyuck, hyuck..."
Little fucker likes to eat socks at my friend’s house and barf them up on my rug. They have a 10 yr old so socks just are around.
Well that *socks*
^^^I'm ^^^so ^^^sorry
Or watching them freak out with a poop that hasn't completely left their butt, drag-assing on the ground heading towards the carpeted areas. Only happens when you're running late.
Oh god, I just had horrible flashbacks to my first morning in my very first apartment with my dog. I had to go to my brand new job when I noticed she was drooling excessively which meant it was highly likely she was sick and going to throw up. I had to call my mother and beg her to come over to make sure my dog wouldn't die while I was at work.
Yeah. Stressful morning.
Your son coming for an unexpected visit to ask you for more drug money.
A screaming spoiled person
Same it my sister(s)
Your cat flying across your house at light speed, and doing that stupid meowing crap...
!!! ZOOMIES !!!
Agreed I wake up late then oh my god the amount of screams from my siblings are unheard of
Amen brother !
Realizing you were supposed to be at work 3 hours ago.
At that point it's just a day off, really.
Might be a whole job off but either way it still ruins your calm.
My old neighbour going outside just to cough.
When your water heater dies during the night and you have no hot water.
Lawn service on a Sunday at 7am
My next-door neighbor and his drumset. At 9am. Every Sunday. In an apartment building.
Poop in pants.
Sloshing diarrhea sliding down your leg like a waterslide.
Better than jizz in pants
No it isn’t????¿
It probably is if you are a woman
Phone going off because you got up early but forgot to turn off the alarm.
A blunt force trauma to the head
But if they hit you hard enough, suddenly it’s not your problem anymore.
Tarks86, we need you back at work asap
The sun when it decides it wants to reach the highest point in the sky hur hur 🤓
A very stressful dream.
FUCKING LEAF BLOWERS
BEEP BEEP BEEP road construction just outside your window
Fixing a bowl of cereal, then realizing you're out of milk. So you either have to eat the cereal dry, throw it away, or put it back in the bag. While not as extreme as other comments, it's still annoying.
You skipped substitute water for milk...
You might use water when out of milk for cereal, but I sure as hell don't. I'd rather eat that shit dry.
Nah lol I tried it once, I don't recommend it.
An overflowed toilet with a couple of fudge monkeys in your hallway 😑
for real. my sister always fills a bucket of water and puurs it in the toilet after I go poop. when she poops, she doesn't do anything, neither pours water, nor flushes the toilet. I always have to do her shit.
You're on leave/PTO and phone rang
I was on medical leave a few years back for a surgery and my job spent three days calling me trying to get me to come in for overtime. My wife finally called and reamed them out because my Percocet addled brain could hardly string words together.
A drill sergeant. Or a baby.
Getting electrocuted….ask me how I know! 😐
A bug in production
Shitting your pants after testing a fart. You all know that game. It's tricky sometimes
2018 is when I learned not to trust a fart. Twice.
A text from work.
When I turn on the coffee machine expecting to get a nice hot black coffee and then I realize I forgot to refill the beans and all I get is a cup full of hot, slightly brown water.
Entire day ruined.
Your sister crying because "YoU DidN't WaiT foR me To DO the MArcHing NoiSE"
Vile text messages from the wives of your husband’s best friends because you unfollowed them a year ago.
A Nuclear explosion
that one pain in your side that hurts like a bitch and your brain keeps telling you to touch until it stops hurting
Waking up in a fit of terror from one of your PTSD riddled nightmares and punching or kicking the drywall so hard you leave holes.
The feeling of being under threat from those dreams doesn't leave you the entire day. Shit can be rough. Had a particularly bad one the other night. I was at bridge crossing. I grabbed a sword which is out of place but medieval fantasy comforts me so I imagine it was my brain doing one of those. My Seargent was furious and had been ordering us over the bridge since it was faster but I refused. I didn't like it. A few others joined me too all of us considered the shit bag Marines. Except for one guy he was too scared to go against our Seargent and stayed despite all of us telling him to come with us that crossing that bridge was a bad idea.
We'd just begun our crossing when the first shots rang out. A weird mixture of gun fire and fantasy crap like arrows and fire balls. Like I said fantasy comforts me so I imagine it was my brain protecting itself. I turn to see my friend the one guy that was too scared to go against our Seargent's orders get cut down before the bridge explodes. My vision goes red and I'm screaming and then I'm awake and my alarm is blarring but I'm still screaming and can still feel the water and the fire and I don't know what's going on or where I am and then it's over. I'm covered in sweat shaking and trying to get a hold of myself, but I now I have to go to work.
I miss when my worst dreams were of some make believe monsters. Now I deal with the real ones.
The realization of a deadline...
wake up and see your dog shit all over the place because he somehow reached to your trash and eat a whole chocolate cake, then take him to the vet and pay 500$ for detox
Construction noises. There is a subway station and an apartment complex being built super close to where I live. Its hell.
I'm really stressed out by those noises! Since four years there are construction works in all directions of where I live, like next to the wall. It's completely annoying and frustrating.
Needing to do a big piss which forces you to get out of your bed in the morning
That moment when you stand up, walk anywhere in the house and you accidentally step on water, a bug, a lego or something disgusting/painful/annoying.
Especially a 1x1 Lego brick on a hardwood floor.
I woke up just to see my pet dying, wish i died while sleeping
Dang! For real?
Flat tire before work
Waking up my children
My mom’s high-heels on tile at 7 am
my mom yelling at me to do this and do that, especially when I literally just woke up, nothing pisses me off more than that
same with me, man, but my parents divorced so I live with my father. after I have breakfast and I feel full, there is always some stuff to make me tired. (especially on weekends, my dad always has some 'stuff' to do)
Any and all adult responsibilities.
I refuse to elaborate further.
Realizing you’re out of coffee or creamer.
Stubbing your god damn toe.
I absolutely hate that. I am 30 or 40 years old and I cannot stand when I stub my toe
It'll happen more when you turn 20.
Angry Trump supporter
Way to bring politics into something that doesn't need it
remembering we live in a capitalist hellscape
Yea because a Communist/Socialist hellscape is just sooooooo much better !
(and just to save you some breath, Nordic countries are not "Socialist")
The Uber driver ejecting you for shitting in the car.
A phone call.
A really bad post
A phone call from a user at work who cannot follow procedure (Contacting the help desk)
Stubbing your toe or stepping in something wet.
I woke up one quiet Sunday morning to the sound of a grown ass man screaming outside my apartment door for another guy to “kick his ass”... screaming at the top of his lungs, spouting slurs and all. Beat red in the face, clearly looking to fight.
I too wanted this mysterious stranger to also kick this guys ass. Nothing would’ve brought me more joy than the sound of his prostate bursting as some guys size 11 combat boot slammed into his rectum at mach 5.
Bird flying into the window.
thanks for reminding me we have a Math test tomorrow (for Trigonometry)
Your child refusing to brush their teeth
Waking up before 11:00 am
A sudden and powerful urge to shit.
someone just throws a ball and magically lands in my cup of coffee
Some one from vault tec is at your door
Having breakfast with your wife and your girlfriend come to pick you up.
Pinky toe hits table egde . . .
Walking around outside and having a bird shit on your head.
A tongue in the ass.
When "someone" is late for work cause they didn't set a good alarm and are now screaming fml.
1D coming back together.
Pouring milk into your cereal and realizing there isn’t enough
Waking up to shouting and arguing
Cat puking on the carpet
the realization that it is Monday.
Hearing bad news about someone you genuinely like
Dog/cat pooing or peeing somewhere
When you forget your lunch on your way into work
Waking up and realizing you have school tomorrow depending in what day it is
You doze off on the flight from Honolulu to LAX and awaken to the cabin attendants shouting, “Brace! Brace! Brace!”
When your grumpy-ass neighbor decided to mow the lawn
My neighbor deciding to mow the lawn at 7 am. Which then reminds someone else that they need to mow, and they start up right as the first neighbor finishes. Repeat ad nauseum.
Accidentally setting off the smoke alarm while boiling a pot of water for coffee in my dimly lit kitchen at 6am, seems like the smoke was coming from burning food particles I didn't see.
Out of coffee
Either an ambulance siren or a truck backing up.
Never live in the city.
Remembering some real cringe shit u did while eating yo wheatabix
Opening the window for some fresh air, then immediately closing it again because loud children ruin it.
You're out of peanut butter... :(
A boss tornado
A bomb going off.
The noise of the neighbor who has been renovating their apartment for the last 4 months.
Gettin screamed at to wake up
A whole bunch of hammering and drilling and screw guns happening directly overhead when the roofing company comes to fix the metal roof over your head.
Ask me how I know.
Expecting a hot shower and getting a cold one
Blow finger on the bed!
An ominous rumbling in your guts.
Hitler invading Poland
The alarm clock
Stubbing your toe while getting out of bed
My boss emailing me about literally anything.
My cat puking on my bed.