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Whats the dumbest thing you believed was real when you were a child?

Whats the dumbest thing you believed was real when you were a child?

HappyAppleDance

That if you walked next to a road that didn’t have sidewalks, the drivers were legally obligated to hit you with their cars.


Chillioli_Ravioli

Wait, I didn’t have to run over pedestrians in my car this whole time?


MyJelloJiggles

>obligated If only.


tezetet34534

That the past was in back and white. Imagine the shock the day the colors arrived.


Visassess

>Imagine the shock the day the colors arrived. Yeah what are *they* doing in my country?


airmandan

Building it.


ironman288

There's a movie this happens in! I can't remember the name though, I never saw it.


Ancient_Adagio_2393

Pleasantville


ironman288

I knew somebody would tell me, thanks!


Bonch_and_Clyde

It's not exactly that the past was black and white, but that they were transported to live in the world of an old tv show that was in black and white.


illcul8er

Also, The Wizard of Oz,


FalconJack20

The giver


sarahgene

Lmso not just permitted but obligated? Imagine the cop, "Sir I pulled you over today because you drove right past that pedestrian without hitting them, that's a citation"


Darnitol1

I nominate this person for Presidential candidacy.


spoonybum

My Dad used to tell me that he could run quicker than the speed of light. I would ask him to show me. He would be like "See? I just ran to that tree over there and back. You must not be paying close attention. Watch and I'll do it again." I would then say "Go on then" and he would reply "I just did!" I had no reason to doubt his incredible super-power.


arkans_tigrovi

This is actually hilarious, props to your dad dude.


DerpingtonHerpsworth

Oh man I totally forgot but my dad totally used to do this too. Thanks for the memories!


shartnado3

My Uncle used to do something similar. He would always tell me his truck could fly, but the caveat was I had to close my eyes. Believed it every single time.


tif333

I love your dad lol


classicsat

Get off your ass an take the trash out. I just did.


Beanfetcher

After my parents telling me that my mother had a maiden name, and knowing my dad had a middle name, my tiny child brain got the idea that at a certain age you got an 'adult' name and I used to wonder what mine would be. Would I get to choose it? I would have very perplexing sessions of trying to come up with a cool one, or would it be chosen for me? I remember thinking I'll just have to wait and find out. Miraculously I didn't get a new adult name at any age, because they don't fucking exist.


MettaMorphosis

Well, they need to change that, because I'm 40 and now looking forward to my new adult name, thanks to your comment.


Acrolith

Oh shit, sorry, I was supposed to give it to you but I was busy. Your adult name is Bill Payer. Hope you like it!


ebac7

I got my middle name! It’s Debt...


NiceTryKemosabe

For now forth you shall be called Derelict. Derelict my balls


Perple_Panther

This is super specific but elfs in dnd get adult names at a certain age.


Odin_Allfathir

>at a certain age you got an 'adult' name Fun fact - it is true in Catholic church, though that name is not being legalised anymore (at least in civilised countries), and it's never used anyway, and some branches even require it to be the same as your first name (unless your first name is banned by the church, because Catholic church has a whitelist of names that can be used for that rite)


kla425

That all dogs were boys and all cats were girls. I have no idea why I thought that, but I did.


Important_Ad5030

This. I've no idea where I got that idea either!


ebac7

I feel like a lot of tv portrays it this way.


JohnGilbonny

But Garfield is clearly a boy. I agree that I don't remember seeing a girl dog too often, except for on The Simpsons when their dog knocks up another.


cake-and-peonies

I came to that conclusion watching Homeward Bound


tif333

Me too. It's coz all dogs have a deep voice and cats don't.


FlockFox

According to Troy Barnes it's because, "Have you ever *seen* a cat penis?"


PlazmaSnake417

I had a male dog and a female cat. Also believed this with no help from anyone


HuskyDJ2015

Its a pretty common thought among kids I think...cus I thought that too when I was young


FriendlySlytherin

In sports I believed a team’s home arena or stadium was literally their home. Like after the games they all went off into some part of the place none of us could go to and got ready for bed.


tragicallyohio

There has been a series of commercials for the American insurance company Progressive where the Quarterback of the Cleveland Browns, Baker Mayfield, lives in the stadium where the Browns play. I know they're commercials for a soulless insurance company but they're very funny. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heGRpm_OMpI&ab_channel=ProgressiveInsurance


nickking256

lol


Perfo_06

None told me it, but as a child I believed that flies can watch in the future to avoid you when you try to kill them


cake-and-peonies

Oh god, my sister told me this as a child and I believed her until my late teens.


POISON_SageO6p

The trick is to prediction shot them, if you hit above them, they fly straight up into your hand almost every time


notnotjamesfranco

I told this to my friend and he called me a dumbass hahah Edit: I still believe this is the best way to get flies


ReiceMcK

My preferred method these days is a surface cleanser spray bottle. Flies don't really respond to slow movements so if you can hold it steady, get real close and pull the trigger without twitching too hard, you can hit them. They go down easy if you soak them but they still struggle to flee if they catch a spritz. As a bonus, the guts stay in the fly and you cleanse the area as you go!


Nickoalas

I think it’s that being so small the signals have a much smaller distance to travel so their reactions and reflexes are much faster than ours. The distance from their eyes to their brain to their muscles is probably less than the distance a signal has to travel just to reach our brain in the first place. (I have not fact checked this) We’re big slow lumbering giants to them.


pichael288

No it's their eyes. What your describing is a factor for blue whales


agentbarron

I donno how slow your reactions are but I can definitely react to someone trying to slap me and move out of the way before it connects


Adriana-meyer

That the cartoon characters actually lived in the tv (it was still very boxy then). I wanted to free the good characters by breaking the glass, but was too afraid of the bad ones to also come into our world


mellowpotions

That’s a lot of pressure and weight on a kids shoulders lmao you really felt responsible for freeing the people and keeping the bad ones out


Comprehensive_Data82

Pandora’s TV?


DTownForever

That all TV was live, the actors were performing while you were watching. Re-runs really confused me for a while, not kidding. And that if you were an athlete playing in televised sports then you had to have your own camera. That's how I learned that my belief was false - I asked my dad for a video camera (back in the day when they were huge camcorders that cost $1,000) and he asked me why. I said because I wanted to play baseball on TV, and from there we untangled my misconceptions.


DanHalen_phd

I used to think that if a character in a movie starts as a child and becomes an adult, it's the same actor. So like in the movie Big, they started filming when Tom Hanks was a kid and just waited for him to grow up to finish.


isilluminated

YES I thought this too lmao. For some reason I understood that they didn't do that for shows and movies, but TV commercials were "nonfiction" in my brain and I thought that was how they had to work for legal reasons or something. I remember there was a particular commercial that puzzled me (something to do with Gerber?) because it showed a baby and then cut to clips of that baby aged up to an older child. I remember thinking it seemed like a lot of effort to wait around for 5+ years to film this one kid intermittently at different ages just to make this 60 second commercial, and yet it still didn't dawn on me.


Confident-Bat-3849

That's sweet!


patrickseastarslegs

I mean I believed that people on the radio were actually in the studio singing. So you can imagine how confused I got when they played a glee cover in memoriam of Cory


Thick_Curvy83

I also thought that everything was live. I would put my face directly into the tv.


imthepizzastrangler

I thought all athletes were mute because they didn't have mics so you couldn't hear them talking.


Totallynotakandra

I believed this same thing, but for the radio. I thought bands would have to be at the station constantly in case they needed to perform a song. It always amazed me how they played perfectly every time


koibish

That my dad invented the breathalyzer. He had one in his car and when I asked him what it was on the way to school one day say, he said, “Oh I made this, it helps starts my car.” He was an electrical engineer and had several patents before he became a doctor so it seemed plausible… I didn’t learn what a breathalyzer really was until high school and I was so embarrassed because I’d been telling people my dad made that thing to start cars!!! Ugh


koibish

Also that I would turn into a white lady when I grew up. My mom and half-sister are both white, blond hair and green eyes, so it just made sense to me that I would look like that when I got older too. I didn’t quite understand the half-sister thing at the time obviously.


thefuzzybunny1

On similar lines, my father thought that a person forgot their English when they aged. His great-grandma had been raised in Italy and moved to the US as an adult. She only spoke Italian; her daughter (his grandma) was bilingual English/Italian; the next generation (his mother) spoke English and a smattering of Italian; and he only spoke English. So he assumed speaking Italian was a thing that grew as you aged.


imthepizzastrangler

My uncle told me that people were literally baking in women's stomachs and that I came out just right and my white cousins were undercooked.


koibish

Hah, undercooked! I’m going to have to use that on my sister sometime.


dinoplushie

That some family friends kept a 12 foot tall man locked up in their basement and just fed him leftovers.


Commercial-Radish-63

Wtf


nickking256

bro what 💀💀


dinoplushie

We thought he was gonna eat us, we played a game called 12 foot tall man. It's similar to playing shark, which is when you go from deep in the water to land as fast as you can. We would run from their basement to top floor as fast as possible, whoever was last got eaten. Being the youngest I usually got eaten, needless to say I didn't like that game.


imthepizzastrangler

This sounds like a great idea for a horror film.


ratzoneresident

Lowkey does. It’s surprising the terrifying shit kids will turn into a game. My grandma grew up during WW2 in England and once she and her friends found a crashed bomber in a field. Did they tell the authorities? Nope Did they tell their parents? Nope Did they even think about the fact it might still have explosive cargo? Nope They scratched the insignia off and played in it for a summer


FremenDar979

Or Junji Ito.


ava_loves_cuddlefish

This so strange, but when I was younger I took showers in my parents bathroom and they had a huge window. I would constantly act like I wasn't strong enough to turn the water on because I felt like if I was alone and turned the water on then Bigfoot was going to break through the window and eat me.


streasure

... what?


Toxic_Ramen_Lord

#This so strange, but when I was younger I took showers in my parents bathroom and they had a huge window. I would constantly act like I wasn't strong enough to turn the water on because I felt like if I was alone and turned the water on then Bigfoot was going to break through the window and eat me.


J0E_SpRaY

As a kid I thought semi trucks could only be pulled over by police versions of semi trucks.


Beardedsinger

"pullover good buddy"


Velvetroses

I believed there was a fairy mini world in my closet. It was a quiet night and I had tucked myself into bed. As I was trying to fall asleep, I noticed a single bead of light emanating from my closet. I got out of bed and went over to it, opened the closet door and at the back of my closet - behind my cloths and on the back wall - was a small little hole of light. I pushed my cloths aside and pressed my eye to the hole. Trees? Trees!?!?! Holy moley there's trees and a sun in my closet! I can feel the wind! I imagined this pocket realm of pine trees and a sun, and a world much like our own and could not wait to share it with everyone. I ran downstairs where my Mother and Father were having their evening coffee and reading their books at the kitchen table. "MOMMY, DADDY!!!! THERE IS A WORLD IN MY CLOSET. I SAW TREES AND A SUN AND IT'S IN MY CLOSET. COME SEE. COME SEE!" as I tug my Dad's arm and drag him upstairs. He goes into my closet. I insist he shove his face to my wall. He says "Well, that IS certainly interesting. They can't have that in our closet though..." and Mom/Dad begin to talk 7/8 year old, raised on Disney movies, me about how the world needs to relocate and they will make sure they are safe. I went to bed, and the next day the world was gone. The hole was patched. The magic dispersed. I was very sad and thought that I had displaced an entire world of their safe place in our home and I didn't even get to meet them.... Well, turns out it was my Mom growing some pot plants in her closet that was directly behind my closet. What I was seeing was her plants and the grow lamp, and the wind was her fan for air circulation. Early 90s was a magical time.


goosepills

I swear I have read this story before, I remember thinking how cute it was


cake-and-peonies

That the car radio signal was bad when we drove past/under a radio tower because pigeons were hopping on the antenna. I even confidently told my teacher this in ninth grade, which the rest of the class thought was hilarious.


Chyvalri

Ninth grade, ouch


StevenArviv

I was a 3 year old immigrant kid who could not speak English very well and didn't have any friends... I actually thought that Fred Rogers was talking directly to me when I was watching Mr. Roger's Neighbourhood. I would refer to him as my "friend". I honestly thought that we were having conversations.


rusyn

The thing is, he really was talking to you, and he was your friend. R.I.P. Mr. Rogers


k1wyif

I thought the same thing. It kind of saved my life, though, because he was one adult who unconditionally loved me.


Dn_Denn

That the exhaust of a car pushed the car forward just like a rocket does.


niftyifty

My son is wise beyond his years. He understands more about the world than he should, doesn’t get scared during horror movies (talks about the cool creature effects instead), saves his money, does his own laundry and by many other examples was ready to be an adult (in his mind) before he turned ten. It made me so happy when the other day he looked at a car and said “wow that car must be fast.” When I asked why he felt that way, it was because of the size (width) of the dual exhaust that he referred to as “boosters.” A fleeting moment of a child’s imagination was still in there.


dubaichild

I feel like I implicitly believed this even if I didn't actively think it


cburgess7

Wow, I used to believe this, till my parents bought a van who's exhaust routed out the side rather than the rear, and then I asked the dumbest question ever...


cerker

I once read that in WW2 piston engine airplanes, when they were at full speed, around 20-30% of the total thrust came from the exhausts.


agentbarron

That doesn't make much sense as most of them didn't have an exhaust system as you would think in a car. Instead of all the pistons connecting together via a pipe and then directed to the back, most just had a few inch pipe on each pistons exhaust just to get it outside of the cowling so the exhaust would be either pointing straight down or left and right. Even if it did point straight back... 30% of the thrust obtained just from exhaust is insane


Mortei

Yeah...I can see that.


juicyfruitsalad77

I thought that when someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up it meant I could literally be anything, like turn into something completely different. I wanted to be mostly animals. I remember wanting to be the beautiful white fluffy cat in the fancy feast commercials for awhile…


Mortei

That cat, I used to think 100 years old was a cool age and had no idea what a 100 year old person was like.


fartknocker4521

I remember wanting to be a cheetah when I grew up, and having a full blown meltdown when my mom told me that wasn't possible and why. Apparently before that I wanted to be Super Mario but I was too young to remember that. And no, I did not grow up to be a furry. Lmao


Grave_Girl

I don't blame you; that cat seemed to have a great life.


ElizaWil02

Martha Speaks was my shit as a kid and, because of that show, I used to always believe that my dog would start talking if I fed her alphabet soup.


l3m0n3225

You punched me in the face with nostalgia


POISON_SageO6p

Martha was an average dog


HiddenLayer5

That no one understands Wait


448perce

little men being inside traffic lights controlling them 😭


aschgar

I guess it’s not something that was real, but the opposite. I thought kangaroos were extinct. Up until a few years ago. Worst parts? I’m 24. A local zoo has them, but tucked way in the back so I never noticed.


BarelyLingeringWords

With this one, you could actually double down and blame it on Mandela effect. There would probably be people who are like "omg kangaroos were extinct in my timeline too!"


jon6011

I used to think Rhinoceroses were extinct dinosaurs, until like my sophomore year of high school. I dont know how I just never had known that for so long.


ouijagliterr

That if I swallowed a watermelon seed that one would grow in my stomach.


[deleted]

fucking rugrats traumatized two generations in one fell swoop EDIT: apparently the episode is still airing, so make it three generations of children afraid if watermelon


errant_night

That was being said long before rugrats! I was told that in the 80s


2tomtom2

I was told that in the 50s.


Ancient_Adagio_2393

At least 2. My kids are Gen Aplha(I think that's right anyways) and I had to talk them down from that panic attack after watching that episode.


[deleted]

Then it's three: Millennials, Zoomers, and Alpha.


demonardvark

I thought hot dogs were the pigs dong.


fredrickthepenguin

Hot dogs are made from leftover meat that the factories don't want, so it could be pig dong


demonardvark

you know for some reason that makes me happy. instead of telling someone to go eat a dick, just buy em a hot dog and hope for the best :D


FaucetFailureDrop

My dad downloaded Google earth when it first came out, and when he told me about it I ran outside and asked if he could see me on there. He just cracked a smile and shook his head. That day I learned that those satellites just take pics and Google earth isnt live


ItszaMeMario

Yet…


moon_then_mars

Yea, that will be pretty cool. One day we could have an app that lets you zoom in on any planet in the solar system and see a near-live view of the surface.


TinyChocoSprinkle

It could/would be terrible. Think about what autocrats like putin would do with all that info. The costs outway the benefits by far.


aRandomPear

why putin lol literally ANYONE could watch you. Putin, your mom, your dog, a maniac, a robber, a clever AI. People would become such easy targets.


commentmypics

That happened to me with a grown friend when I was in my twenties. We were trying to get ahold of another friend of ours who wasn't answering and she suggested checking Google maps to see if her car was in her driveway.


Alystar_Omalee

My son was around ten, asking about "heat lightning" (actually a far off thunderstorm). I told him it was Google Earth taking pics in our area. He stared in wide eyed wonder.


unSpecific_Guess

That life is fair


Ilumin159

That hits so hard...


charlie_wonka

Life isn't fair but you still can fare.


thefifthavenue

I think that's why I got triggered so many times over the years


Confident-Bat-3849

That men who wore those racing-type tweed caps back in the 60s were burglars. Moral of the story...don't listen to your 9 year old neighbor who is as stupid as you are.


CookiesChoco

When I was pretty young, probably about 5 years old, I met the black power ranger and got a picture of him signed. In the picture you could see that he was missing his middle finger and my mom told me it was because he had flipped his mom off so she cut it off. I believed it until I was about 20 years old when my mom told me she had lied about it and didn’t actually know what happened. Growing up, I told so many people this guy’s mom cut his finger off.


Caralou2021

That the Leaning Tower of Pisa was actually called the Leaning Tower of Pizza and was a restaurant that sold pizza. \*High fives self in face\*


Guibi__

As a child i asked my father the classic question: how i was born? He told me exactly the same history from Goku (Dragon Ball) that i came from space and i had a tail that was cut off and all those things. I believed it quite some time until at preschool i told my teacher about it...


ItszaMeMario

That different pasta shapes taste differently.


cake-and-peonies

No but they dooooo


Darnitol1

They don't, but they do hold sauces in different proportions, and some hold different types of sauces better than others, so the net effect is a different flavor, when taking the sauce into account.


DonkeyBagel

Pasta shape affects texture and changes how the pasta hits your tongue and mouth feel and things as well.


zangrabar

Also surface area affects the flavour of things. It could be from the amount of salt that binds to it, how much carmalization, or oxidization. Etc.


patrickseastarslegs

Agreed. Penne and that shell stuff taste different than fusilli or tagliatelle


Johnmiachels

Nah, Im a full ass adult and I can vouch for the fact that those pre-shaped macaronis that are meant to look like cartoon characters taste FUNKY. like, they taste gross compared to normal macaroni.


weaselyvr

Absolutely! And they are weak and fall apart. Basically just terrible all around.


BurpYoshi

They may not individually but they absolutely change the taste of the dish if it involves sauce or meat. In the same way a the texture of a burger changes if you order the layers differently, the pasta shapes can change it. Tube pasta like penne gets sauce stuck inside, spiral pasta like fusili has sauce stick to the outside, while other more whole pastas feel more like chunks of carbs seperate from the meal. It's about preference, I like penne.


MedicalManner7541

farfalle and rigatoni definitely taste different from one another


rattymcratface

and that different color M&M's had different flavors


Ziriath

Monks and nuns = university students. I swore I'm never going to go to an university, because I did not want to wear those robes&headwear of theirs. Scouts (we do not have boy and girl scouts, but mostly just scouts) are an army service for children, and they must wear those brown uniforms all the time. So I did not want to enlist to the scout movement, nobody told me so though.


l3m0n3225

Honestly... University wouldn't have been as bad if it was like that. Kid you was onto something alright


Canadien_

I used to believe that mustard was made out of bananas when I was young. "Tomatoes make ketchup, Pickles make relish..." And I guess I saw bananas; a yellow object and assumed that was what mustard was made of. Worst part is, I thought I was being pranked when I was told mustard seed exists.


YourDoseOfCringe

That women had balls. I had a dream when i was five and couldn't see the balls my mom had because of all the pubes. At the time i heard my dad joke about pubes. I asked him, "what are poobs?" And he said peepee hair. I was so confused hoping that i dont get that thinking that it would be itchy. I can say 5 year old me thought correctly. Everyday they itch because of my ball hair


jcfiggy3

I remember once I heard someone say “dick” not as a name for the first time and I asked my Mom what it meant and she said “A boy’s private part” reluctantly and after that in my bed I was thinking “What is the private part? I didnt know boys were different... Is it the butt? Nah, I think girls have butts that would be weird. Is it the chest? Cuz girls have boobs so maybe thats it... Nahh I don’t know I’m tired” and I never really made up my mind on that until obv “The Talk”, so ye.


Revolutionary_Copy63

The Burj Khalifa was visible from a lot of the parts of the city(or I thought so) and hence I belived that it had wheels and was following me around.


BalouCurie

What if it did?


RulrOfOmicronPersei8

Hey vesause


kymboandarrow

That if you smooshed white bread into a compressed ball and ate it like that, you'd get stomach cancer. Neighbor I looked up to told me this when I was about 6. I believed him for YEARS.


LBChickenNugget

My brother in law convinced me mars bars had drugs in them so for about 6 months I didn't eat them and gave any I got to him. I was about 10 and looked up to him.


the-ancient-1

That I would turn into a pumpkin if I stayed up late, and for some goddamn reason my dad actually thinks me and my brother still beleive this. I’m 16 btw.


Quirky-Wino

I was afraid of showers because I thought you could drown in them. I didn't realise what a plug was for.


fahq42zer0

That I could grow up get a good job buy a house and start a family.


moon_then_mars

Worked for me. Have you tried turning it off and on again?


wills752

I thought my pastor was God until I was about 4. It made sense to me. We went to church because God wanted us to, so I figured the guy that talks up in the front of everyone that we have to be quiet and listen to must be God.


Salty-Tortoise

I believed that after the Japan tsunami Japan was completely gone and at the bottom of the ocean. Then my grandparents went on vacation there several months later.


EnvironmentalAd9749

I was a nose picker/eater. My mom told me boogers were from bugs flying in there and dying. Never stopped me.


Rosecastarinitype

That if you lived in front of a traffic light you were rich.


UnknownAlien123

The world was black and white till like the '70s. And I also believed that boogers were brain pooping


FreePepeKek

I believed the first one too haha


MyJelloJiggles

I didn’t believe number two ^wink


Arachnophile44

I thought the purple alien rock from Ben 10 that turns you into a weird mutant was real. Terrified to dig for years in fear of finding some.


dubaichild

Thanks to my sister... That you couldn't sneeze in your sleep, because if you did, you'd die.


Pikabeara

I was told by someone when I was little that if you held in a sneeze your brain would explode.


crucible

Not me, but a cousin of mine was under the impression that when TV shows like soap operas killed a major character off, the TV networks genuinely killed the actor on screen, too…


MentalAtmosphere

That my parents could read my mind. Fucked me up as a child as I kept trying to control my thoughts like I was in some sort of 1984 society


Yalmimi

That guys should not cry because it shows weakness.


Winpigg

That adults knew what they wee doing.


NiamhHA

I believed that teachers lived in schools.


tigerllort

I thought the hammer on a revolver hit the bullet hard enough to make it go that fast


MissMillenial

Tooth fairy!!!!!


rmp604

Bit coins, have new meaning for me now. And I thank you


DimitrescuSucks

maybe the real tooth fairy was the friends we made along the way


BooBooPony30

That if I ate the crust on my bread I would get a hairy chest. I was terrified lol that was the last thing I wanted as a kid.


philipTheDev

We had polish (nationality) carpenters renovating and building at my home when I was a kid. My parents referred to them as a group as "The Polish". So I thought "Polish" was the name of the profession. Figured something was wrong when I got a strange look after I asked someone if they wanted to be a Polish when they grew up.


Roadie02

I believed quick sand was going to be a much bigger problem than it really is.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ThatSmellySmelly

I believed cartoons were real and I was so mad and jealous they got to live in a toon world. Ed Edd n’ Eddy was the show I really wanted to be in as a kid :/


l3m0n3225

I had dreams where I broke the screen and got into their world Good times


Tchaz221

That the past was in back and white. Imagine the shock the day the colors arrived.


Bubba_Lumpkins

That if you believed in the supernatural *realllly* hard you made supernatural stuff happen. Then I learned what confirmation bias was... lame.


Sure-Zone-1576

That there were power rangers behind a big ass wall we had. I , with my whole heart wanted the red one to be real.


FullyTorque

Michael Jackson


THEFOUNDSOUL61

Thats kids were made in a china factory


borderlinegrrl

I used to watch I love Lucy re runs also my mom had a lot of black and white pictures. For a really long time I believed the world was black and white .I mean I believed it til I was like 10 or so.


Vauide

That babies were literally made through praying, yes thats right, sign of the cross ask susej for a baby then voila, and when my younger sister was born I was confused coz I havent prayed for it PS i cant even grasp the concept of pregnancy back then and my mother's bump wasnt that big so I had no idea im gonna have a younger sister


Leightay

When I asked my mom where babies came from, she told me you got them by praying for them. I prayed for a baby for weeks, and nothing happened. Then I figured out that my mom didn’t really know where babies came from, and just told me that so she wouldn’t be embarrassed about her lack of knowledge. It never occurred to me that she must know something, because she had children. I found out about babies from kids on the school bus.


AnaStasiUh

(Before I drove) I believed that four way stops had no set rules and it was just decided randomly who goes next based on whoever was nice, I blame the people who wave you on when you got there after them for confusing me


AfterStart

When I was ~7, I found out that the dad was also somehow involved in making a baby. I somehow got it into my head that while they were both in bead, a passageway came out of the father, entered into the mother, and a load of little men walked across it to enter the mother and start working. I also thought girls had dicks, and when they grew up, it just kinda...shrivelled up and fell off.


feistyfox100

Adults are smart and make good decisions.


GreenEyes9678

That driving at night with the interior car light on was illegal. After trying it myself, I have extended that to my kids for them to figure out for themselves one day.


TheUnderwearBear

My parent's love for me. 🥲


l3m0n3225

Kid me was traumatized by the sight of my mom showering. The bush down there. I thought to myself "thank goodness I'm not ever gonna have one". Spoke too soon kid. Too soon.


iliketurtlezkid

That my uncle created lego


SightlessSenshi

I thought the expression "nip it in the bud" was actually "nip it in the butt," like you were unleashing an attack dog upon the ass of your problem before it could get out of hand.


mavis321

The concept of hell. To this day I won’t forgive the adults who taught me that. What a shit and awful concept to teach a young child. I was so fearful of so many things because I thought I would go to hell for eternity.


shitweasle3000

It all depends on what the parents teach about Hell. I was taught that only truly horrible people like serial killers, child molesters, and Nazis end up there so it never bothered me because I had no interest in doing any of those things. Harmless notion. Then there’s the insane parents who tell their kids all non-Christians go to Hell as well as anyone who touches their wiener at night. That shit is child abuse.


2PlasticLobsters

Thanks to my school, I didn't like the idea of heaven either. Our textbook depicted everyone in heaven wearing dressy church clothes. I *hated* dressing up with an unholy passion (still do). The idea of spending eternity in a stiff, scratchy dress horrified me. In fact, that was probably where the seeds of my non-belief were planted. If heaven is as bad as hell (in my perception), none of this makes any sense...


fredrickthepenguin

So I once heard that there was 24 hrs in a day. I also knew that you were supposed to get 8hrs of sleep. I thought that meant 24 hrs of sunlight and 8 hrs of darkness. I also knew that countries on the other side of the globe had night when we had day, so I just thought they had 8 hrs of sun and 24 of darkness. When I was 2ish, I came up with the ideas that the sun is small, sits in Earth's atmosphere, and orbits earth. This is very similar to the flat earth model. This implies the flat earth model was created by a hyperactive 2 year old.


radsoul

That someone is purely good or bad and the good people get rewarded while the bad ones get punishment or nothing.


Mortei

Oh yes, quite the other way around sometimes. And even better: sometimes people are neither good or bad. Just people making decisions with or without selfish intentions.


Ravenous-One

Not me...but my ex was from Indiana. And had a slight accent. Her parents had a big accent from Indiana. And because of it...pronounced "Wind chill" like "Wind Scheel". So one day, the wind chill was making it ungodly cold. And she goes, "Man...this wind shield is terrible." She went through life thinking "Wind chill" was called "Wind shield".


breetardd

I thought when people had to kiss in movies or on tv they had something to cover their tongue so they wouldn't have to get germs from the other person


WritingtheLion

If you got good grades, worked hard, went to college and got a degree, you'd be financially successful and find a good job when you're older. Buying a house would be possible. I'd be able to afford my bills/groceries and simultaneously be able to save up retirement and go on vacations, while raising a family.