Whats the dumbest thing you believed was real when you were a child?
By - marie__not
That if you walked next to a road that didn’t have sidewalks, the drivers were legally obligated to hit you with their cars.
Wait, I didn’t have to run over pedestrians in my car this whole time?
That the past was in back and white.
Imagine the shock the day the colors arrived.
>Imagine the shock the day the colors arrived.
Yeah what are *they* doing in my country?
There's a movie this happens in! I can't remember the name though, I never saw it.
I knew somebody would tell me, thanks!
It's not exactly that the past was black and white, but that they were transported to live in the world of an old tv show that was in black and white.
Also, The Wizard of Oz,
Lmso not just permitted but obligated? Imagine the cop, "Sir I pulled you over today because you drove right past that pedestrian without hitting them, that's a citation"
I nominate this person for Presidential candidacy.
My Dad used to tell me that he could run quicker than the speed of light.
I would ask him to show me.
He would be like "See? I just ran to that tree over there and back. You must not be paying close attention. Watch and I'll do it again."
I would then say "Go on then" and he would reply "I just did!"
I had no reason to doubt his incredible super-power.
This is actually hilarious, props to your dad dude.
Oh man I totally forgot but my dad totally used to do this too. Thanks for the memories!
My Uncle used to do something similar. He would always tell me his truck could fly, but the caveat was I had to close my eyes. Believed it every single time.
I love your dad lol
Get off your ass an take the trash out. I just did.
After my parents telling me that my mother had a maiden name, and knowing my dad had a middle name, my tiny child brain got the idea that at a certain age you got an 'adult' name and I used to wonder what mine would be. Would I get to choose it? I would have very perplexing sessions of trying to come up with a cool one, or would it be chosen for me? I remember thinking I'll just have to wait and find out. Miraculously I didn't get a new adult name at any age, because they don't fucking exist.
Well, they need to change that, because I'm 40 and now looking forward to my new adult name, thanks to your comment.
Oh shit, sorry, I was supposed to give it to you but I was busy.
Your adult name is Bill Payer. Hope you like it!
I got my middle name!
For now forth you shall be called Derelict. Derelict my balls
This is super specific but elfs in dnd get adult names at a certain age.
>at a certain age you got an 'adult' name
Fun fact - it is true in Catholic church, though that name is not being legalised anymore (at least in civilised countries), and it's never used anyway, and some branches even require it to be the same as your first name (unless your first name is banned by the church, because Catholic church has a whitelist of names that can be used for that rite)
That all dogs were boys and all cats were girls. I have no idea why I thought that, but I did.
This. I've no idea where I got that idea either!
I feel like a lot of tv portrays it this way.
But Garfield is clearly a boy. I agree that I don't remember seeing a girl dog too often, except for on The Simpsons when their dog knocks up another.
I came to that conclusion watching Homeward Bound
Me too. It's coz all dogs have a deep voice and cats don't.
According to Troy Barnes it's because, "Have you ever *seen* a cat penis?"
I had a male dog and a female cat.
Also believed this with no help from anyone
Its a pretty common thought among kids I think...cus I thought that too when I was young
In sports I believed a team’s home arena or stadium was literally their home. Like after the games they all went off into some part of the place none of us could go to and got ready for bed.
There has been a series of commercials for the American insurance company Progressive where the Quarterback of the Cleveland Browns, Baker Mayfield, lives in the stadium where the Browns play.
I know they're commercials for a soulless insurance company but they're very funny.
None told me it, but as a child I believed that flies can watch in the future to avoid you when you try to kill them
Oh god, my sister told me this as a child and I believed her until my late teens.
The trick is to prediction shot them, if you hit above them, they fly straight up into your hand almost every time
I told this to my friend and he called me a dumbass hahah
Edit: I still believe this is the best way to get flies
My preferred method these days is a surface cleanser spray bottle. Flies don't really respond to slow movements so if you can hold it steady, get real close and pull the trigger without twitching too hard, you can hit them. They go down easy if you soak them but they still struggle to flee if they catch a spritz.
As a bonus, the guts stay in the fly and you cleanse the area as you go!
I think it’s that being so small the signals have a much smaller distance to travel so their reactions and reflexes are much faster than ours.
The distance from their eyes to their brain to their muscles is probably less than the distance a signal has to travel just to reach our brain in the first place. (I have not fact checked this)
We’re big slow lumbering giants to them.
No it's their eyes. What your describing is a factor for blue whales
I donno how slow your reactions are but I can definitely react to someone trying to slap me and move out of the way before it connects
That the cartoon characters actually lived in the tv (it was still very boxy then). I wanted to free the good characters by breaking the glass, but was too afraid of the bad ones to also come into our world
That’s a lot of pressure and weight on a kids shoulders lmao you really felt responsible for freeing the people and keeping the bad ones out
That all TV was live, the actors were performing while you were watching. Re-runs really confused me for a while, not kidding.
And that if you were an athlete playing in televised sports then you had to have your own camera.
That's how I learned that my belief was false - I asked my dad for a video camera (back in the day when they were huge camcorders that cost $1,000) and he asked me why. I said because I wanted to play baseball on TV, and from there we untangled my misconceptions.
I used to think that if a character in a movie starts as a child and becomes an adult, it's the same actor. So like in the movie Big, they started filming when Tom Hanks was a kid and just waited for him to grow up to finish.
YES I thought this too lmao. For some reason I understood that they didn't do that for shows and movies, but TV commercials were "nonfiction" in my brain and I thought that was how they had to work for legal reasons or something. I remember there was a particular commercial that puzzled me (something to do with Gerber?) because it showed a baby and then cut to clips of that baby aged up to an older child. I remember thinking it seemed like a lot of effort to wait around for 5+ years to film this one kid intermittently at different ages just to make this 60 second commercial, and yet it still didn't dawn on me.
I mean I believed that people on the radio were actually in the studio singing. So you can imagine how confused I got when they played a glee cover in memoriam of Cory
I also thought that everything was live. I would put my face directly into the tv.
I thought all athletes were mute because they didn't have mics so you couldn't hear them talking.
I believed this same thing, but for the radio. I thought bands would have to be at the station constantly in case they needed to perform a song. It always amazed me how they played perfectly every time
That my dad invented the breathalyzer. He had one in his car and when I asked him what it was on the way to school one day say, he said, “Oh I made this, it helps starts my car.” He was an electrical engineer and had several patents before he became a doctor so it seemed plausible…
I didn’t learn what a breathalyzer really was until high school and I was so embarrassed because I’d been telling people my dad made that thing to start cars!!! Ugh
Also that I would turn into a white lady when I grew up. My mom and half-sister are both white, blond hair and green eyes, so it just made sense to me that I would look like that when I got older too. I didn’t quite understand the half-sister thing at the time obviously.
On similar lines, my father thought that a person forgot their English when they aged. His great-grandma had been raised in Italy and moved to the US as an adult. She only spoke Italian; her daughter (his grandma) was bilingual English/Italian; the next generation (his mother) spoke English and a smattering of Italian; and he only spoke English. So he assumed speaking Italian was a thing that grew as you aged.
My uncle told me that people were literally baking in women's stomachs and that I came out just right and my white cousins were undercooked.
Hah, undercooked! I’m going to have to use that on my sister sometime.
That some family friends kept a 12 foot tall man locked up in their basement and just fed him leftovers.
bro what 💀💀
We thought he was gonna eat us, we played a game called 12 foot tall man. It's similar to playing shark, which is when you go from deep in the water to land as fast as you can. We would run from their basement to top floor as fast as possible, whoever was last got eaten. Being the youngest I usually got eaten, needless to say I didn't like that game.
This sounds like a great idea for a horror film.
Lowkey does. It’s surprising the terrifying shit kids will turn into a game. My grandma grew up during WW2 in England and once she and her friends found a crashed bomber in a field.
Did they tell the authorities? Nope
Did they tell their parents? Nope
Did they even think about the fact it might still have explosive cargo? Nope
They scratched the insignia off and played in it for a summer
Or Junji Ito.
This so strange, but when I was younger I took showers in my parents bathroom and they had a huge window. I would constantly act like I wasn't strong enough to turn the water on because I felt like if I was alone and turned the water on then Bigfoot was going to break through the window and eat me.
#This so strange, but when I was younger I took showers in my parents bathroom and they had a huge window. I would constantly act like I wasn't strong enough to turn the water on because I felt like if I was alone and turned the water on then Bigfoot was going to break through the window and eat me.
As a kid I thought semi trucks could only be pulled over by police versions of semi trucks.
"pullover good buddy"
I believed there was a fairy mini world in my closet.
It was a quiet night and I had tucked myself into bed. As I was trying to fall asleep, I noticed a single bead of light emanating from my closet. I got out of bed and went over to it, opened the closet door and at the back of my closet - behind my cloths and on the back wall - was a small little hole of light.
I pushed my cloths aside and pressed my eye to the hole.
Holy moley there's trees and a sun in my closet! I can feel the wind! I imagined this pocket realm of pine trees and a sun, and a world much like our own and could not wait to share it with everyone.
I ran downstairs where my Mother and Father were having their evening coffee and reading their books at the kitchen table. "MOMMY, DADDY!!!! THERE IS A WORLD IN MY CLOSET. I SAW TREES AND A SUN AND IT'S IN MY CLOSET. COME SEE. COME SEE!" as I tug my Dad's arm and drag him upstairs.
He goes into my closet. I insist he shove his face to my wall. He says "Well, that IS certainly interesting. They can't have that in our closet though..." and Mom/Dad begin to talk 7/8 year old, raised on Disney movies, me about how the world needs to relocate and they will make sure they are safe.
I went to bed, and the next day the world was gone. The hole was patched. The magic dispersed. I was very sad and thought that I had displaced an entire world of their safe place in our home and I didn't even get to meet them....
Well, turns out it was my Mom growing some pot plants in her closet that was directly behind my closet. What I was seeing was her plants and the grow lamp, and the wind was her fan for air circulation.
Early 90s was a magical time.
I swear I have read this story before, I remember thinking how cute it was
That the car radio signal was bad when we drove past/under a radio tower because pigeons were hopping on the antenna. I even confidently told my teacher this in ninth grade, which the rest of the class thought was hilarious.
Ninth grade, ouch
I was a 3 year old immigrant kid who could not speak English very well and didn't have any friends... I actually thought that Fred Rogers was talking directly to me when I was watching Mr. Roger's Neighbourhood. I would refer to him as my "friend". I honestly thought that we were having conversations.
The thing is, he really was talking to you, and he was your friend.
R.I.P. Mr. Rogers
I thought the same thing. It kind of saved my life, though, because he was one adult who unconditionally loved me.
That the exhaust of a car pushed the car forward just like a rocket does.
My son is wise beyond his years. He understands more about the world than he should, doesn’t get scared during horror movies (talks about the cool creature effects instead), saves his money, does his own laundry and by many other examples was ready to be an adult (in his mind) before he turned ten.
It made me so happy when the other day he looked at a car and said “wow that car must be fast.” When I asked why he felt that way, it was because of the size (width) of the dual exhaust that he referred to as “boosters.” A fleeting moment of a child’s imagination was still in there.
I feel like I implicitly believed this even if I didn't actively think it
Wow, I used to believe this, till my parents bought a van who's exhaust routed out the side rather than the rear, and then I asked the dumbest question ever...
I once read that in WW2 piston engine airplanes, when they were at full speed, around 20-30% of the total thrust came from the exhausts.
That doesn't make much sense as most of them didn't have an exhaust system as you would think in a car.
Instead of all the pistons connecting together via a pipe and then directed to the back, most just had a few inch pipe on each pistons exhaust just to get it outside of the cowling so the exhaust would be either pointing straight down or left and right.
Even if it did point straight back... 30% of the thrust obtained just from exhaust is insane
Yeah...I can see that.
I thought that when someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up it meant I could literally be anything, like turn into something completely different. I wanted to be mostly animals. I remember wanting to be the beautiful white fluffy cat in the fancy feast commercials for awhile…
I used to think 100 years old was a cool age and had no idea what a 100 year old person was like.
I remember wanting to be a cheetah when I grew up, and having a full blown meltdown when my mom told me that wasn't possible and why. Apparently before that I wanted to be Super Mario but I was too young to remember that.
And no, I did not grow up to be a furry. Lmao
I don't blame you; that cat seemed to have a great life.
Martha Speaks was my shit as a kid and, because of that show, I used to always believe that my dog would start talking if I fed her alphabet soup.
You punched me in the face with nostalgia
Martha was an average dog
That no one understands
little men being inside traffic lights controlling them 😭
I guess it’s not something that was real, but the opposite.
I thought kangaroos were extinct. Up until a few years ago.
Worst parts? I’m 24. A local zoo has them, but tucked way in the back so I never noticed.
With this one, you could actually double down and blame it on Mandela effect. There would probably be people who are like "omg kangaroos were extinct in my timeline too!"
I used to think Rhinoceroses were extinct dinosaurs, until like my sophomore year of high school.
I dont know how I just never had known that for so long.
That if I swallowed a watermelon seed that one would grow in my stomach.
fucking rugrats traumatized two generations in one fell swoop
EDIT: apparently the episode is still airing, so make it three generations of children afraid if watermelon
That was being said long before rugrats! I was told that in the 80s
I was told that in the 50s.
At least 2. My kids are Gen Aplha(I think that's right anyways) and I had to talk them down from that panic attack after watching that episode.
Then it's three: Millennials, Zoomers, and Alpha.
I thought hot dogs were the pigs dong.
Hot dogs are made from leftover meat that the factories don't want, so it could be pig dong
you know for some reason that makes me happy. instead of telling someone to go eat a dick, just buy em a hot dog and hope for the best :D
My dad downloaded Google earth when it first came out, and when he told me about it I ran outside and asked if he could see me on there. He just cracked a smile and shook his head. That day I learned that those satellites just take pics and Google earth isnt live
Yea, that will be pretty cool. One day we could have an app that lets you zoom in on any planet in the solar system and see a near-live view of the surface.
It could/would be terrible. Think about what autocrats like putin would do with all that info. The costs outway the benefits by far.
why putin lol
literally ANYONE could watch you. Putin, your mom, your dog, a maniac, a robber, a clever AI. People would become such easy targets.
That happened to me with a grown friend when I was in my twenties. We were trying to get ahold of another friend of ours who wasn't answering and she suggested checking Google maps to see if her car was in her driveway.
My son was around ten, asking about "heat lightning" (actually a far off thunderstorm). I told him it was Google Earth taking pics in our area. He stared in wide eyed wonder.
That life is fair
That hits so hard...
Life isn't fair but you still can fare.
I think that's why I got triggered so many times over the years
That men who wore those racing-type tweed caps back in the 60s were burglars. Moral of the story...don't listen to your 9 year old neighbor who is as stupid as you are.
When I was pretty young, probably about 5 years old, I met the black power ranger and got a picture of him signed. In the picture you could see that he was missing his middle finger and my mom told me it was because he had flipped his mom off so she cut it off. I believed it until I was about 20 years old when my mom told me she had lied about it and didn’t actually know what happened. Growing up, I told so many people this guy’s mom cut his finger off.
That the Leaning Tower of Pisa was actually called the Leaning Tower of Pizza and was a restaurant that sold pizza. \*High fives self in face\*
As a child i asked my father the classic question: how i was born?
He told me exactly the same history from Goku (Dragon Ball) that i came from space and i had a tail that was cut off and all those things.
I believed it quite some time until at preschool i told my teacher about it...
That different pasta shapes taste differently.
No but they dooooo
They don't, but they do hold sauces in different proportions, and some hold different types of sauces better than others, so the net effect is a different flavor, when taking the sauce into account.
Pasta shape affects texture and changes how the pasta hits your tongue and mouth feel and things as well.
Also surface area affects the flavour of things. It could be from the amount of salt that binds to it, how much carmalization, or oxidization. Etc.
Agreed. Penne and that shell stuff taste different than fusilli or tagliatelle
Nah, Im a full ass adult and I can vouch for the fact that those pre-shaped macaronis that are meant to look like cartoon characters taste FUNKY. like, they taste gross compared to normal macaroni.
Absolutely! And they are weak and fall apart. Basically just terrible all around.
They may not individually but they absolutely change the taste of the dish if it involves sauce or meat. In the same way a the texture of a burger changes if you order the layers differently, the pasta shapes can change it. Tube pasta like penne gets sauce stuck inside, spiral pasta like fusili has sauce stick to the outside, while other more whole pastas feel more like chunks of carbs seperate from the meal. It's about preference, I like penne.
farfalle and rigatoni definitely taste different from one another
and that different color M&M's had different flavors
Monks and nuns = university students.
I swore I'm never going to go to an university, because I did not want to wear those robes&headwear of theirs.
Scouts (we do not have boy and girl scouts, but mostly just scouts) are an army service for children, and they must wear those brown uniforms all the time. So I did not want to enlist to the scout movement, nobody told me so though.
Honestly... University wouldn't have been as bad if it was like that.
Kid you was onto something alright
I used to believe that mustard was made out of bananas when I was young.
"Tomatoes make ketchup, Pickles make relish..."
And I guess I saw bananas; a yellow object and assumed that was what mustard was made of.
Worst part is, I thought I was being pranked when I was told mustard seed exists.
That women had balls. I had a dream when i was five and couldn't see the balls my mom had because of all the pubes. At the time i heard my dad joke about pubes. I asked him, "what are poobs?" And he said peepee hair. I was so confused hoping that i dont get that thinking that it would be itchy. I can say 5 year old me thought correctly.
Everyday they itch because of my ball hair
I remember once I heard someone say “dick” not as a name for the first time and I asked my Mom what it meant and she said “A boy’s private part” reluctantly and after that in my bed I was thinking “What is the private part? I didnt know boys were different... Is it the butt? Nah, I think girls have butts that would be weird. Is it the chest? Cuz girls have boobs so maybe thats it... Nahh I don’t know I’m tired” and I never really made up my mind on that until obv “The Talk”, so ye.
The Burj Khalifa was visible from a lot of the parts of the city(or I thought so) and hence I belived that it had wheels and was following me around.
What if it did?
That if you smooshed white bread into a compressed ball and ate it like that, you'd get stomach cancer. Neighbor I looked up to told me this when I was about 6. I believed him for YEARS.
My brother in law convinced me mars bars had drugs in them so for about 6 months I didn't eat them and gave any I got to him. I was about 10 and looked up to him.
That I would turn into a pumpkin if I stayed up late, and for some goddamn reason my dad actually thinks me and my brother still beleive this. I’m 16 btw.
I was afraid of showers because I thought you could drown in them. I didn't realise what a plug was for.
That I could grow up get a good job buy a house and start a family.
Worked for me. Have you tried turning it off and on again?
I thought my pastor was God until I was about 4. It made sense to me. We went to church because God wanted us to, so I figured the guy that talks up in the front of everyone that we have to be quiet and listen to must be God.
I believed that after the Japan tsunami Japan was completely gone and at the bottom of the ocean. Then my grandparents went on vacation there several months later.
I was a nose picker/eater.
My mom told me boogers were from bugs flying in there and dying.
Never stopped me.
That if you lived in front of a traffic light you were rich.
The world was black and white till like the '70s. And I also believed that boogers were brain pooping
I believed the first one too haha
I didn’t believe number two ^wink
I thought the purple alien rock from Ben 10 that turns you into a weird mutant was real. Terrified to dig for years in fear of finding some.
Thanks to my sister...
That you couldn't sneeze in your sleep, because if you did, you'd die.
I was told by someone when I was little that if you held in a sneeze your brain would explode.
Not me, but a cousin of mine was under the impression that when TV shows like soap operas killed a major character off, the TV networks genuinely killed the actor on screen, too…
That my parents could read my mind. Fucked me up as a child as I kept trying to control my thoughts like I was in some sort of 1984 society
That guys should not cry because it shows weakness.
That adults knew what they wee doing.
I believed that teachers lived in schools.
I thought the hammer on a revolver hit the bullet hard enough to make it go that fast
Bit coins, have new meaning for me now. And I thank you
maybe the real tooth fairy was the friends we made along the way
That if I ate the crust on my bread I would get a hairy chest. I was terrified lol that was the last thing I wanted as a kid.
We had polish (nationality) carpenters renovating and building at my home when I was a kid. My parents referred to them as a group as "The Polish". So I thought "Polish" was the name of the profession. Figured something was wrong when I got a strange look after I asked someone if they wanted to be a Polish when they grew up.
I believed quick sand was going to be a much bigger problem than it really is.
I believed cartoons were real and I was so mad and jealous they got to live in a toon world. Ed Edd n’ Eddy was the show I really wanted to be in as a kid :/
I had dreams where I broke the screen and got into their world
That if you believed in the supernatural *realllly* hard you made supernatural stuff happen. Then I learned what confirmation bias was... lame.
That there were power rangers behind a big ass wall we had. I , with my whole heart wanted the red one to be real.
Thats kids were made in a china factory
I used to watch I love Lucy re runs also my mom had a lot of black and white pictures. For a really long time I believed the world was black and white .I mean I believed it til I was like 10 or so.
That babies were literally made through praying, yes thats right, sign of the cross ask susej for a baby then voila, and when my younger sister was born I was confused coz I havent prayed for it
PS i cant even grasp the concept of pregnancy back then and my mother's bump wasnt that big so I had no idea im gonna have a younger sister
When I asked my mom where babies came from, she told me you got them by praying for them. I prayed for a baby for weeks, and nothing happened. Then I figured out that my mom didn’t really know where babies came from, and just told me that so she wouldn’t be embarrassed about her lack of knowledge. It never occurred to me that she must know something, because she had children. I found out about babies from kids on the school bus.
(Before I drove) I believed that four way stops had no set rules and it was just decided randomly who goes next based on whoever was nice, I blame the people who wave you on when you got there after them for confusing me
When I was ~7, I found out that the dad was also somehow involved in making a baby. I somehow got it into my head that while they were both in bead, a passageway came out of the father, entered into the mother, and a load of little men walked across it to enter the mother and start working.
I also thought girls had dicks, and when they grew up, it just kinda...shrivelled up and fell off.
Adults are smart and make good decisions.
That driving at night with the interior car light on was illegal. After trying it myself, I have extended that to my kids for them to figure out for themselves one day.
My parent's love for me. 🥲
Kid me was traumatized by the sight of my mom showering. The bush down there. I thought to myself "thank goodness I'm not ever gonna have one". Spoke too soon kid. Too soon.
That my uncle created lego
I thought the expression "nip it in the bud" was actually "nip it in the butt," like you were unleashing an attack dog upon the ass of your problem before it could get out of hand.
The concept of hell. To this day I won’t forgive the adults who taught me that. What a shit and awful concept to teach a young child. I was so fearful of so many things because I thought I would go to hell for eternity.
It all depends on what the parents teach about Hell. I was taught that only truly horrible people like serial killers, child molesters, and Nazis end up there so it never bothered me because I had no interest in doing any of those things. Harmless notion.
Then there’s the insane parents who tell their kids all non-Christians go to Hell as well as anyone who touches their wiener at night. That shit is child abuse.
Thanks to my school, I didn't like the idea of heaven either. Our textbook depicted everyone in heaven wearing dressy church clothes. I *hated* dressing up with an unholy passion (still do). The idea of spending eternity in a stiff, scratchy dress horrified me.
In fact, that was probably where the seeds of my non-belief were planted. If heaven is as bad as hell (in my perception), none of this makes any sense...
So I once heard that there was 24 hrs in a day. I also knew that you were supposed to get 8hrs of sleep. I thought that meant 24 hrs of sunlight and 8 hrs of darkness. I also knew that countries on the other side of the globe had night when we had day, so I just thought they had 8 hrs of sun and 24 of darkness.
When I was 2ish, I came up with the ideas that the sun is small, sits in Earth's atmosphere, and orbits earth. This is very similar to the flat earth model. This implies the flat earth model was created by a hyperactive 2 year old.
That someone is purely good or bad and the good people get rewarded while the bad ones get punishment or nothing.
Oh yes, quite the other way around sometimes.
And even better: sometimes people are neither good or bad. Just people making decisions with or without selfish intentions.
Not me...but my ex was from Indiana. And had a slight accent. Her parents had a big accent from Indiana. And because of it...pronounced "Wind chill" like "Wind Scheel". So one day, the wind chill was making it ungodly cold. And she goes, "Man...this wind shield is terrible." She went through life thinking "Wind chill" was called "Wind shield".
I thought when people had to kiss in movies or on tv they had something to cover their tongue so they wouldn't have to get germs from the other person
If you got good grades, worked hard, went to college and got a degree, you'd be financially successful and find a good job when you're older. Buying a house would be possible. I'd be able to afford my bills/groceries and simultaneously be able to save up retirement and go on vacations, while raising a family.