Reddit. What is your "red flag" in a woman or man when you're in the early stages of dating?
By - Boss31112
F(25) biggest red flag is if they are misogynistic. Next, if they show signs of clinginess or jealousy
Constantly reaching for their phone.
Not listening and interrupting.
Rude behaviour, primarily gatekeeping and trying to go into dick-measuring contests.
Dropping "bombs" with expectations (my last experience, I was asked 5 minutes in whether I think 2 months after starting dating is gonna be fine to get married)
That last one would make me run
Oh it sure made me run. Guess my environment and age helps attract such specimens.
Any form of manipulation. I won't stand for it.
Get away from that !!!
Mistreatment of low wage employees. Be it retail workers, restraunt servers, janitors, anything. Just gives me the ick
They constantly say unacceptable things to you or others and claim it is a joke.
Their social media over everything else. Even if you are an "influencer", take your own fuckin pictures
Being desperate to be in a relationship. I want people to be with me because they want me and enjoy being with me, not because they want a relationship
31m here, they're always on their phone when on a date/outing.
If I find they are taking Lithium or they are Bi-polar.
If you don't mind me asking, why is that?
I dated a woman that was bi-polar. She never warned me but she avoided certain questions so I knew something was up. She decided she was feeling real good about herself and quit taking lithium. She started having conversations with god. He told her what to wear and eat. One day she freaked out because he told her to take a English muffin to work for break, she had forgotten to eat it and knew she was going to hell. I got a call from a state hospital in San Francisco hundreds of miles away, she was picked up nude in a park. She had gave away her clothes she was wearing to people shhe thought needed them more than her.
Sounds like it would have been really stressful, fair enough that you wouldn't want to go through that again. I know what it's like to live closely with someone with severe mental health difficulties, and while I can't fully relate I do get it in part. If it's something that preys on your mind at all it may be worth chatting with a friend or family member about it.
I went on a few dates with a woman and she 'playfully' hit me. It wasn't that playful and I was outta there. She had some history she was working through but that didn't involve me.
Are you Ross?
"You know my wife used to say the same thing! Now she's dead"
recently out of long relationship and/or still lives with said ex. ends with them saying “i’m not ready for a relationship” no matter how much they promised you they were every single time
Personally, rudeness. I would give a pass to poor behaviour in the very early stages (as long as its not consistent and you're not at risk), because they may be acting that way for any number of reasons. Also if you look for red flags, you'll find them. Look for green flags as well.
How they talk about their ex / past interests.
Recently dated a guy who was still seeing (in a non serious context) another girl we both mutually knew. At first it began as "You're much more interesting than she is", which I mistakenly took as flattery. Those comments turned into "She's obnoxious", which turned into "She's pathetic", which I ignored because I wasn't particularly fond of this girl either. I realized all too late that a person willing to say these things about somebody who they still saw fit to pursue is going to eventually say the same things about you and has a poor concept of value for people, especially those willing to prioritize them.
Any desire to date me.