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brrapppp

Cognitive behavioural therapy


Agent_Ayru

Just takes time. But remember, a bad person crosses a line and continues to do so. Crossing a line and doing something bad, then feeling guilt and remorse and never doing it again, means you still have a sense of right and wrong and will grow as a person from your mistake


Red_Beard_Rising

If I can forgive people who have wronged me and move on, I can forgive myself for wronging others and move on as well.


OnlyPoolsRushIn

Some of us can't do either one.


Red_Beard_Rising

That sucks. We are all human and F up here and there. That is life. Nobody is perfect. Maybe consider accepting that rather than expecting perfection?


OnlyPoolsRushIn

That would be very extreme; I don't expect perfection. I do expect a lack of evil. As I child I was a cruel and feeling-less little shit. Even though I have grown into a (by most accounts) a kind and intelligent person, I cannot shake the guilt from earlier behaviors. I have heard all the advice in the world about it, but it feels unforgivable, so I cannot forgive myself.


Red_Beard_Rising

You have grown and changed. Let it go. You learned from your mistakes. Your early life lead you to a "kind and intelligent" life. Perhaps that is what was needed to bring you to where you are today?


sierravictor806

This is how I feel. My situation is different but your feelings as described are the same.


FoodWeapon18

I dunno but if you find out if love to hear it


Bigger_Moist

Same. My memory is too good to give up grudges


that_one_guy_said_

Hey - you asking this question shows that you’re probably a good person. Let it go.


blameitonmyADDbaby

As my mom would say, “coulda, woulda, shoulda”. No use in wasting your energy to feel bad about something you cannot change. Shake it off, pick your head up and live your life. You know the person you are.


CanadianIdi0t

I find that growing as a person helps, and even lets you build pride off of past mistakes. Just Being able to say ‘that’s who I was, I’m not the person who would do that anymore’ can make your perspective on it far better


sierravictor806

This is something no one knows. It’s too painful for me to even discuss.


CanadianIdi0t

Even just being able to convince yourself that you’ve grown as a person and am nothing like the one that did the thing can help. The secret can go with you to your grave, fine, but being able to clear your conscience of it is possible. You can either dwell on it or at least try to move forward and be better


Cornfilledpoop

It's a very difficult thing to do not going to lie, but for me it boiled down to Delta 8 and eventually I learned to forgive myself ,then love myself


OnlyPoolsRushIn

I don't have any solutions, I can only say I feel as you do. I cannot forgive myself for things I did even as a 4-year-old. I feel like I was born a bad person and didn't come to my senses until a pre-teen. I can never, ever forgive anyone for any wrongdoing, including myself. Yeah, yeah, "It's for my own good". Still can't.


KindredSouI

Admit fault, apologize if applicable, work on myself through therapy and medication, move on.


1BoiledCabbage

What happened in the past has been written in stone. You need to accept that these things happened. The reality now is that you regret your actions, meaning that you know you did wrong. You need to take this as a learning point and put it towards your future. Proving yourself to yourself is key. With guilt, you are already proving yourself better than your past self. Allowing the guilt to eat you away does nothing but waste space that could be replaced with healing and forgiveness. The world hasn't broken because of your actions. Why would you spend so much time, keeping yourself broken?


sierravictor806

I like this. Thank you!


1BoiledCabbage

No worries


[deleted]

Admit it happened realise we can't change yesterday make up for it in the now have a better future


sierravictor806

You are all so kind. I appreciate your suggestions and encouragement. Made me feel not so alone on this guilt trip.