Crying by ourselves after our family has fallen asleep.


I just keep to myself and I try not to cry too loud


At 47, I just started woodworking. In retrospect, it would have been cheaper to just buy the damn sports car.


You are supposed to hide the tools costs in house renovations. How else are you supposed to justify the cost to yourself and spouse? Like, “Without that bench planer I’m not sure we could have had such a nice looking fence on our budget. Imagine if we paid someone?” Or , “That bandsaw made the perfect cuts on those wood flooring pieces. Sure it costs a little bit of money, but it wouldn’t have come out as nicely with a jigsaw.” Before you know it, “That lathe allowed me to make the perfect gifts for our friends and family this year for Christmas. In one year it paid for itself!”


This is the way. Also, don‘t waste the limited time you have left on this earth with cheap tools. Festool all the way.


I follow the Adam Savage rule when buying new tools. First, buy the cheapest version you can find. Then, if you use it enough to break it, replace it with the highest quality version available.


For me it was getting into every hobby that I wish I had done in the previous twenty years. In the last three years: kayaks, mountain bike, disc golf, tabletop wargaming, and gardening.


Tabletop wargaming? I thought this was for people who *can't* afford a sports car.


That is why they cannot afford a sports car.


No joke. I play 40k, HH, Bolt Action, K47, and a couple others and damn do I hate my life! Way too expensive!


I knew I was too poor for tabletop wargames when a guy I knew was telling me about 40k and told me that if I want to get into it hit him up because he's got a hookup to a dealer for "real but unlicensed" 40k figures. Apparently there's a fucking black market for that shit.


Yes, there is! It’s absolutely crazy! If you only buy from the company that created it, Games Workshop, you’ll probably spend about $1000 USD for a standard sized army, but if you buy them from recasters or someone who prints them, you’d probably spend $250. I’ve spent almost 6k in the last 6 years on 40k…


Yep they sell 2 kind of crack at gaming stores cardboard crack (magic and Pokemon) and plastic crack (wargaming figures)


You ever go kayak fishing?


Buying an electric guitar without even knowing how to play. Then hanging it on the wall in your mancave because you gave up after a couple weeks.


Oh shit, I had my midlife crisis at 14!


Same!! I’ll pick it up once in a while then get angry at how shitty I sound haha


Don't give up. I had a really nice acoustic gifted to me almost 10 years ago and never really touched it. About a year ago I just started picking it up and playing for a few minutes every day. Don't get me wrong I still suck, but I can play a few chords now at least to the point where I really want to keep going. Kills me knowing I should have just started playing when I got the thing but what can you do.


It’s not about whether you suck or not. It’s about enjoying it. I’ve sucked for 20 yrs.


Here's the thing: play it regularly and learn new things on it, and you will get better. Even 15 minutes at a time, the important thing is making it a habit, and it legit *doesn't* matter when you started. Nor you should guilt yourself if you intend to practice for an hour and quit after 20 minutes. Sometimes we're not as motivated, the important thing is you kept the practice streak going. My *official* goal is 2 hours a day, but what I *really* mean by that is if I play for an hour or so and work on the things I need to work on, it's fine. That 2 hour goal is set knowing life will eat into that most days. The other important thing is to set your expectations appropriately. You'll get better faster if you practice an hour a day, but if an hour a day kills your enthusiasm for the instrument, don't do it. This is the advice I give to my nieces and nephews, who have all gotten to the age of picking up an instrument. The other is about scales/arpeggios/technical stuff. I tell them to spend a little bit of time at the start of practice working on technique. Even if it's just 5 minutes, you're warming up and as you internalize that stuff you learn new technique faster. I speak as someone who half-assed it on keys for years until I realized I just needed to grind technique for a while and spent a shitload of time with the Hanon book. It was shocking how fast I started seeing results. Sorry, this got rambling.


My dad got into guitar in his 50s. He played for years but was perpetually stuck at the skill level of someone who'd been playing for two weeks. It boggled our minds. He played every day for several years, but he didn't get any more comfortable, or confident, or smoother in his strumming and chords progressions. Till the day he died he was just content to choppily strum chords and sing his Neil Young songs in soft falsetto. We all smirked at him and my mom rolled her eyes but one day she told me she actually misses hearing it now that he's gone. Personally I'd give a limb to hear him play Heart of Gold one more time.


Oh that’s beautiful. Playing music is an internal happiness that doesn’t need to be validated by our friends and peers. I’m probably a little better than your dad but I love strumming a familiar song, to no one in particular, and it still brings me a lot of joy. There’s no gate keeping on music.


This brings a tear to my eye because my mother has been playing classical piano for my whole life, she always stumbles over the same difficult passages in the same way, I've never heard her simply improvise or play a piece from memory, and I will sure miss her playing when it's gone.


psst take a video of it now


When I got tired of going to my piano lessons, my stepdad decided to take over my time and brought his dad’s old banjo in there. He’d never attempted to learn an instrument before this, and was around 60 when he started. It’s been over a decade and he still plays every. single. day. Someone who picks up a new instrument or language that far in life will be far more disadvantaged than a young person, but that never stopped him for a second. Despite his stage fright, he started performing at our small church and enjoys having a structured goal of learning. I am so envious of him for his sheer determination to practice an hour every day for the last nearly 12 years, and while I used to be a bit embarrassed of his skill level for a time, since I was a judgmental band nerd, I never miss an opportunity to brag on how proud I am for picking it up :) Your story reminded me of this and thought I’d share.


I recently hauled my bass guitar out of retirement when I saw all the vast storehouse of glorious YouTube tutorials that take the Guitar Hero/Rockband model to make learning to play a real instrument on your own super interesting and engaging. Not repetitive and frustrating as it was back in the 90s! So, if anyone out there has a sweet axe gathering dust, plug her in and tune* her up. *Fender has a free tuning app. It’s a million times better than the shitty electric tuner you paid too much for back in 1997 and needs a 9v battery and a 1/4in to 3.5mm adapter to use.


> It’s a million times better than the shitty electric tuner you paid too much for back in 1997 and needs a 9v battery and a 1/4in to 3.5mm adapter to use Paid too much for x4 because they never seem to come back with you from a pub gig.


To be fair, you usually need to first buy a guitar in order to learn how to play it.


I just built an arcade machine in my man cave for the friends I no longer get to hang with. Does that count?


I turned part of my garage into a chill spot and set up all the old systems I've accumulated over the years; Dreamcast, Saturn, N64, Atari 2600, SNES, etc. As I finished and sat back at what I created I thought "All ready for me and the boys...when that will be I do not know..."


Man I feel that. I setup the arcade with all the old skool games we used to play. All the Tekkens, NBA Jam, NFL Blitz, etc. Then sat back and realized "I haven't seen the boyz in 2 years..." :*(


Blitz is one of my all time favorites. Great set up.


I'm not a dude but I have the same. COVID has destroyed us all. Until 2020 I used to chill all weekend with my best mate and complete whatever the latest Halo was on 'Legendary'. Since February of that year I've seen him fewer than five times. We haven't accomplished shit except online. I miss him so much. I miss everyone so much. I'm 42 but in my head I'm 17. My two other dearest friends aren't here either. One is in Australia now. The other was killed by a drunk driver. I wish so much that I could have one more day with all of them. edit - my goodness so many replies! Thank you to all. I will work through them all and get back to all of you; I promise.


>42 but in my head I'm 17 Almost the same, and I don't know if I'll ever feel my age. Honestly not sure how to feel about it


60 here. It never changes so just roll with it.


LOL, true enough. I’m 67/24. Still trying to decide what I’ll be when I grow up.




I bought one in my 20s but I'm in my 40s now and my wife wants it gone cos we don't have room for it 😫


It’s me or the arcade SEEEGAAAAA Edit: thanks for the award! Yes, this was the Sega from the sonic start up.


I can hear that SEEEGAAA. Like I was loading up Sonic the Hedghog.


A pre-owned miata, at least that's what I did


I have a family member that sold out of his business for over $30 million and one of the first things he did was buy a miata. So maybe you’re doing alright.


Yeah, I feel like people who have a Miata, have always wanted a Miata. It was not their 2nd or 3rd option. Same way I view a person with GTR. It was always been their 1st choice.


They're basically a classic British roadster like a Triumph Spitfire without the monumental ballache of actually owning a product manufactured by British Leyland in the 1970s, I rate them.




Do you know why Britain never spawned a computer manufacturing company? They couldn't figure out how to make it leak oil.


Sinclair used to exist… amstrad… dragon… acorn… tangerine… all gone now.


Isn’t acorn ARM now?


I just want you to know that I initially read "ballache" to sounds like "panache" and thought it was some kind of French synonym for a debacle


Ha… I turned 50 this year and got myself a new Miata. My wife and I refer to it as my reasonably priced mid-life crisis. Best decision I’ve made recently.


33, suddenly Miatas are on my radar…


33, suddenly realize I’m closer to middle age than I thought


Getting heavily into making sourdough bread.


It’s the second most talked about topic my dad has. The first is a game called Sea of Thieves.


you should play sea of thieves with your dad..I wish my dad was into gaming before he passed so thats like a dream come true


This guy is right. Sea of Thieves is the best "hangout" game I've ever played.


Sea of Thieves nuts fit in ur mouth?


Only took 30 years but there’s finally a successor to deez nuts jokes, thanks.


I'm 33 and this sounds like fun.....oh.no


Trying to start a band, even better if it's a punk band.


Lol I’m turning 40 in a couple months and was just thinking I should get a band together!


I turn 40 in august and tuned my bass the other day after 15 years of neglect. Oi, oi, oi!!


Fuck everyone. You do you.


Not very typical, but a friends dad got really heavily into Warhammer 40K.


It would be cheaper to just buy the sports car.


We have a warhammer store in town I always want to poke around in - having given up the hobby almost 23 years ago, but my wife always looks at me when we're in the area and says 'we've got a kid now, do you want them to go to college or do you want to go into the warhammer store?


I mean, the oldest one isn't getting into any college, so we only need to save for the other two...




Yes, son. Reddit is destroying you.


Buy a 3d printer. There are plenty of “totally not warhammer” minis you can get and print for like 1/5 the cost.


How many “totally not warhammer” figures do you have to print to offset the cost of a 3D printer and supplies?


Given the cost of minis, you'd need to print what, 2 squads? Before you break even


Plus, I've found having a 3D printer around is a fun problem solving tool when you're not producing minis


I have children. They are why I haven't gotten into Warhammer.


It's been rather popular over the last couple of years to be fair. The pandemic was really good to games workshop.


To my wife's dismay, I've started mealworm farm. Easy, very little maintenance and cost. Pretty fun to look at the worms and beetles. The thing is, I have no pets to feed those worms to and the population is exploding.


I bet that you could find someone with backyard chickens and trade mealworms for eggs! I would have loved to have traded eggs for mealworms back when I had a couple of chickens.


Actually I have a friend who keeps chickens so I might just give them some worms from time to time


You would be the instant chicken whisperer if you had worms in your pocket when you went for a visit!


Pocket worms!! Sha sha!


You have started a business, and don't even know it. My uncle sold them as fishing bait.


I've looked around, and the market here in New Zealand is pretty small but there is definitely an opportunity for me to earn some extra while having a hobby so I'm happy


If you dare, *make* your own market. Most mealworm are as reptile and fish feed. There's lots of banned reptiles in New Zealand, most notably popular pets from Australia. So for this community you are competing with blood worm, cricket and earthworm sellers. Those 'fish bait' stores usually sell mealworms that are large and fat, the stage they get to before they molt, so the buyers have to use em' fast in like, one or two days. Those aren't ideal for pet feed. There is a worry that the mealworms, when their head gets black and hard, that their pets would get digestion issues, or the worm will bite down on the throats and kill their pets that way. Honestly, if the gecko or hamster can die from a mealworm biting into their throat they >!probably deserve to!<. Seriously, those pets are *predators*. Infection, maybe. Anyway, you have to keep in mind to sell them a little more tender. Look into exotic fish(e.g. Koi, Arapaima) communities. They are VERY protective of their >!sometimes invasive!< pets. Those 300K ~ 100K Golden Arapaima are no joke. They will NEVER skimp on the Arapaima feed(If they do, they're idiots. But I've seen people spend 100K on a bottle of wine and stick it under their stairs for storage, soooo). Once they certify that you are an *excellent* breeder, you will have a constant stream of income. Here, you will compete with blood worm, earthworm, and sometimes silkworm(If they *think* they know what they're doing, they will use silkworm *cough* let's hope they don't). And by certified, I mean a literal lab certificate to prove that your mealworm has no heavy metal, carcinogen, or diseases. Those can cost into the hundreds. If they're pets eat your worm and coincidentally die the next day, your damn certificate may be the only thing protecting your from a lawsuit, either from the pet owner or their insurer. The reason they like *live* worm feed is that it keeps the Arapaima active, entertained and alert(They're predators, to a certain extent, they NEED 'active' food like parrots need toys). Mealworms also float, and those fishes are fed with floating feed so they don't develop 'droopeye'. A term used when one or both of the fish's eyes began to stare downwards, looking for sunk food. >!Maybe there's a sadistic component in watching their pet catch live food, who knows!< Another reason is that crickets may have plenty of mean-looking spikes on them, and can be pretty noisy. But the main reason is that mealworms are easier to 'gutload'. They eat pretty much anything. For reptile owners, their live feed are either 'gutloaded' or 'dusted'. The former means the creature has been fed with material mixed with supplements, mostly mineral. the latter means they've been dumped into a container with said mineral powder and container shaken(not too rough, lol). Dusting is TERIIBLE for live prey meant for fish tanks. As I have said, those fishes are in the hundreds of thousands, and their daily maintenance can cost just as much. Water pumps, filters, pH testing, lighting, temperature control, feed, supplements, aquarium ornament(Arapaima are ambush predators, they need some 'shelter' to feel safe, the plants itself is *holy shite* a whole other cost bomb). As living things change and grow, the environment needs a constant stabilizer, hence all dat equipment. Ok, back to dusting. Dusting means all that feed gets coated with maybe mineral stuff. Which SUCKS for the tank, because powder likes to float off and dissolve. the plants might like it, but your fish is missing shit it needs, and dealing with the pH + bacterial&fungi change from the extras you added. >!Yeah, they poop out the extra specials, but people seem to ignore that!< So you need something that isn't spikey for your darling and greedy enough to eat whatever. That's where mealworms shine. All in all, if you are interested in gunning for the exotic fish or pet community, you will also need certified safe mineral supplements to grow your worms on. Gutloading isn't as effective, since the worms can poop em' out without absorbing much. Unless you want to tell them to keep a dedicated poop timer, raising your worms to have a higher mineral content(proven by lab testing), might be better. For the more ordinary, non-exotic pet market, you can dry them or sell fresh to chicken, parrot, hamster owners or hobby fishers. You don't have to worry about the big head problem with chickens, they're feathered velociraptors, no issue there. The biting also becomes less of an issue when they're dead and dried. Parrots and hamsters know how to deal with their own food, and usually owners like their feed dried. Hamster 'hunters' is a thing, but people believe they become more aggressive if they 'hunt'. Still, hamsters are also opportunistic predators, like parrots, they need toys or they will become anxious. Hobby fishers dipping in their toes might start with crickets or mealworms. Crickets are also escape artists, and maggots are another popular choice, but are way more wriggly and squishier than mealworms. The fisher's chance of stabbing a fish hook through their thumb is higher in maggots than mealworms. I've heard of people dying their maggots. I'm pretty sure it don't do shit to lure the fishes, but eh, if you want to experiment... give em' *tiger stripes*.


ok this is my favorite one so far


This is disgusting and I support you 100%.


I’m *a* wife and want to do this so much!!!! My hubs said if I insist… but since we live in Maine the wrigglers would need to be in doors - it got vetoed… BUT if you know of any backyard farmers (we have a mini farm with chickens & ducks) reach out & someone might be interested in buying your meal worms… we spend ~$50/week on a 5lb bag of dried mealworm treats for the chickens. EDIT/UPDATE: holy hell guys, my hubs is on board!!! u/werepanda responded to questions about set up as well as loads of other kind internet strangers offering bug farming advice! Amazon has a deal on a starter pack $53 USD - approximately what I spend on a 5lb dried bag weekly. We are currently planning on keeping the critters in my plant room… if anyone can recommend how to share updates, I’d love to spread some mid life crisis bug pics, thanks again 😊🐛🪳🦗🦆🐓


Those damn things are so expensive! I have 15 ducks and we really try to ration them out, but they are still gone in no time. I know they would prefer their treats to be alive when consumed.


As a lifelong slacker who has gone through job after job and just generally been a permanent hot mess, my mid life crisis seems to be finding joy and peace in having a 9-5 job and health insurance.


Dude, that's me right now! I finally realized I want stability and comfort. All the partying and crazy projects and boozing, women, etc. were really just masking the pain of not having stability. I finally have a regular job and I kind of love it. Shits crazy.




I like to tell myself it isn’t a true crises if I don’t get into modular.


Black smithing? I’m 40+ and that’s sort of what I did…


I took a class when I was 32 or so. It was exhausting and my shoulder was sore for days. I have a sweet hammer I can show off, though. That’s one a hell of a hobby.


For my parents, it was a bathroom remodel.


For my parents, it was a remodel of at least 1 room in their house of outdoors every year for the past 20 years. They seriously spent enough to buy like 2 more houses on remodelling over and over.


One of my neighbors is like that. Like 6 months out of the year, every year we've lived here, they've had some kinda guy doing construction on their house. Sometimes banging around and making lots of noise. LIKE DUDE WTF. YOU COULD'VE BUILT THE TOWER OF BABEL BY NOW. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! it's just a shitty 1960s ranch house.


I kinda hope they’re installing a secret room.


I'm 40 and in better shape than I ever was as a teenager. Start lifting.


I got into boxing in my late 30’s, and can confirm 40 year old me is in better shape than teenage me.


I got into Muay Thai when I was 39. I’m 46 now and still consistently going. It’s so much fun and you can spend a lifetime growing your skill. I also got into motorcycles (again) before that. Cool hobby too and much cheaper than cars.


Reddit acts like once you hit 30 your body immediately breaks down and there is no hope. Like a line is crossed. I’m going to the gym and have a better body at 37 than I ever had at 19.


I don’t think you can argue that gaining muscle and losing weight don’t get harder as you as age. But what many people gain in their 30s or later that they never had as a young person is motivation, and a motivated 40 year old can absolutely be in better shape than an unmotivated 20 year old.


I’ve been maintaining that better body for a while, I’m turning 50 in a few weeks. I had to adjust my diet over the years and maintain a regular yoga practice to keep up my joint health, but I feel great and workout 6 days a week.


Weightlifting is among the healthiest answers I’ve seen so far


Yea I'm better in my 30's than I ever was in my 20's


Being the oldest person in the club and/or cheating with someone younger.


I used to go to edm warehouse parties in the 90s and once we saw a group of older Asian men and women partying there. Visually they were super out of place with the teens around them. They did not speak English, were probably at least in their 50's, maybe older, all wearing suits and business attire. It was such an odd sight at first but they were so happy, dancing and smiling, hugging each other, etc. It blew my mind at the time, but as I get older I think how absolutely awesome it was that they were cutting loose like that. Major golden retriever energy. We should all be like that sometimes, don't forget that life should be fun too.


If you want to see this to an extreme, check out after-hours at Avalon in Hollywood (or just browse their Yelp reviews)


Lol yeah. I have a client who's in his 60s that still does molly with celebrities in LA nightclubs. This guy has some serious money, chooses to spend it with younger people, funds bands, patron of the arts, etc. In his specific case it doesn't play off as weird, people seem to really like him and he's a very personable guy. I realize it isn't exactly "normal" by most people's standards, but if it works for him then who am I to judge.


If the best DJ in the world is in his 50s then we have the green light to keep going to raves :)


I've seen that guy a few times, he looks uncomfortable but confident.


He came into the pawn shop and bought a hockey stick recently.


See you that and raise you "leaving their partner for someone old enough to be one of their kids"


I joined a coverband in my 40s and bought an electric skateboard in my 50s.


Out of curiosity- do you wear a helmet when you ride that thing? No one wore helmets when skating back in the day but I see kids riding the motorized ones without one now and it looks like you could end up seriously busting your melon!


Not op but oh yeah. I go full kit - knees, elbows, wrists and helmet. Started riding at 41. Had a few painful incidents before I decided to dress for the slide.


Running, to stay healthy and live for another few years.


I keep telling my husband that I’ll know that he’s having a midlife crisis when he expresses an interest in running a marathon.


Get deep into Steely Dan. ​ Me (when I turned 40) "Well honey, should I get a sports car or a 19-year old girlfriend?" My wife: "Get the girlfriend. We can afford her."


Steely Dan is a gift that keeps on giving. Started listening to them at about 30. Took me til 35 before it stopped feeling furtive.


Getting really into smoking meat


Literally sitting next to my meat filled smoker right now.


Everyone gets a meat smoking pass on Father’s Day though


Bruh, just smoked chicken thighs last night after doing a garlic, thyme, and savory brine. Bourbon barrel chips. If this is what's left of life for me, I'll take it. Some of the best food I've ever had has been from my ceramic smoker.


I just wanna grill for God’s sake


Frequent naps and buying tools I really don’t need.


So you’re telling me im 19 and in the middle of a midlife crisis??? oh shit lol


What do you mean "tools you don't need"?


Traveling...I honestly regret not traveling more. I've been to many places because of competitions but never got to explore the cities I was in. Yes traveling is expensive. You can spread the traveling out over the years. When you get older you realize that you can't walk, hike, travel as much as you could've when you were younger. When you're too young you don't appreciate many of the places you could visit with such historical background. (I wish I could do England when I was in my 30s not my teens like I did). Having said that tho. Mid life crisis sports cars don't need to be expensive. Depending on what you'd like to buy as a sports car. My dad (72) really enjoys his Mazda Miata.




Lol, want motorcycle, am middle aged.




I can't afford a sports car, but at 45 I bought a $9K mountain bike Edit: The caveat to my original post is that I am a fairly experienced cyclist and this wasn't just an impulse purchase spurred by turning old! Crazily, this 9k price tag isn't a stretch these days for a higher end bike. Warning: only read on if you care about bikes and may relate...My first Trek hardtail (beyond something you'd see on Stranger Things) was around $1200 in early 2000s. Then I moved on to a few full suspensions: a Rocky for $1800 then a Marin for $2500. These were mid-level bikes at the time. After 14years of biking 3-4x/week and winter training, I "paid up" for a light cross country, a Giant Anthem for $4000. This was a big step but it was justified by the hours it gave me exercising and the fact that it gave me the motivation to spend on other bikes like a Cervelo road, a Norco fat bike, and a few winter trips to Tuscon, which is a long way from northern Canada! This Giant was expensive but the body really appreciates it. I'm not a fan of getting big air but it allows me to really rips corners and rooty decents. For cyclist on roads, gravel, or dirt, a good bike actually helps old guys keep up with the young guns. Maybe this is a main motivator for me to spend on better suspension, shifting, and power-weight benefits. I can still challenge for the odd KOM (cycling jargon) and if I return to Zwift after a year off playing a few more indoor sports in my free time, I may continue to. Ultimately, I could spend money like this towards a car like many have said, but riding single track with my wife (who has a $5k bike), new dog, and two growing teens is way more fun! (DM me if you care for the price I paid for their bikes lol)


I regressed lmao. I literally spent a year going back to loud music, video games and hiding in my room being angsty. What was the point of anything? Covid lockdown really helped me live my darkest life. I came out the other side realizing I just don’t care anymore. I am who I am, I have greying hair, a squishy body that aches every morning, work a fulfilling but financially dumb job, I have no real goals left that I am motivated by. My kids can’t stand me, my relatives are getting older and I see them at funerals more than Celebrations/birthdays/weddings combined. The apathy is real.


>I came out the other side realizing I just don’t care anymore. Kinda the anthem of my 40s, so far. its nice.


Honest advice? Get a hobby. Crafting, painting, playing DnD, getting into flight sims, gardening, cooking (always a good one because you gotta eat anyways, and you get to eat all that amazing food), or...whatever. I think you are going through that thing I had to deal with a while back. What is the point of life? It has no point! Life is completely utterly, meaningless. We exist like slime growing upon wet rocks: because we can. We have sprung forth from the earth like weeds even. But that is also the liberation. Because life has no ordained point, no grand purpose you have to live upto. Its whatever the fuck you want it to be. Give conventions and expectations the bird and do whatever you want (within reason of course.) So pick your hobby. Fuck society and fuck Stacy if she thinks its lame. Honestly a good hobby is quick to pick up, nearly impossible to master. Happiness comes from overcoming challenges with dedication and effort. Happiness is found in achieving something. You don't need to become VP in some meaningless job. It could be a simple as building your first jewelry box out of some scrap wood with hand tools. And hobbies can be cheap or expensive. There are so many projects that can be done with $50 of tools and scrap wood for example. Some hobbies, like cooking, are expenses you are already bearing. And others, like gardening, grow their own supplies. Sure you can easily spend a fortune buying all the accoutrements of a hobby, but are so many ways to manage on the cheap for anything. Tools can be bought used, hand tools over power tools, supplies can be found on sales, substitutions can be used, and often many supplies are found in materials other people are trying to get ride of, like scrap metal, plastic, and wood. Garage sales and social connections can be godsends for the starting hobbyist. And don't just give up. A good hobby is a little bit hard, something you have stretch and struggle for. That struggle is the entire point. It really is a little bit like having a job after your jobs. But that is ok, that is GOOD. Because when you finally do overcome the hobbies' various challenges, have your first success, you will feel better than all the fast food, drugs, or TV binging EVER could have made you feel. Those milestones from your hobby will become things that define you, that become milestones in your life you remember fondly. I can't say I ever met a person who felt they had a life-defining moment after finishing a season-binge on Netflix. I know many people who fondly keep their first project in a hobby, even if its crap compared to what they can do today. And then it gets better, the habits you learn chasing a hobby bleed into other parts of your life. AS you learn patience and determination chasing your hobby, you work harder at work with less stress, you handle your family easier, you might start taking up fitness, keeping your place more clean. And when you have a hobby you love, even that meaningless job becomes easier to bear. Suddenly you are working to earn money, to fund your hobby. You have to build meaning to give your life meaning, you will not just find it falling in your lap.


Playing DnD has really turned my life around. I'm facing down 40, single and bored. My apartment's fine. My job's fine. Everything's just *fine*. Time was just passing and I have nothing to show for it. I finally sucked it up and joined a DnD group. Now I live for my Saturdays. I structure my whole week around it. My apartment is always spotless, all my chores are done so I can focus on the game. I'm working out and getting fitter than I have been in years, the group I have now is amazing but I know I got passed by several groups because they did video interviews and no one wants to play with a frumpy old lady. But now I feel so much better and everything's great and I'm just working out for me. Finding a hobby or several is a life-saver.


Your description totally describes disc golf. Equipment is under $50, free to play most places. Fun as a beginner, but mastering it takes time and practice. I highly recommended it. I started when I was 64 though, too late for mid life crisis.


Maybe you’re going to live to be 128 though


My husband has gotten really into building birdhouses. It’s the most wholesome midlife crisis he could have.


I went with a motorcyle, cheaper than a sports car and safer than a girlfriend (I’m married).


Be safe out there! Motorcycles are fun but people are nuts out there


Brewing Beer


My dad about a year ago bought a ‘92 Miata in yellow and it’s the most fun car I’ve ever been in/driven


A midlife crisis or "midlife awakening" isn't so much about buying new "toys". It's acknowledging the fact you have more years/days *behind you* than *ahead of you*. Some people react to this realization by creating "bucket lists" and trying to accomplish everything on their list whether it is practical or not. In other instances, money and timing were the reasons why a person didn't get what they dreamed of while younger but now they are in a position to have it "society" tells them it's too late. The pricing of the 2022 Chevrolet Corvette starts at $60,900 for the coupe and $68,400 for the convertible for the base. Not many 20 (something year olds) can afford such a car! However, a guy in his 40s is probably in a better position to buy that car but he's told he's going through a "midlife crisis" when the reality is he can *finally afford* his dream car! We tell people at their high school graduation to *never give up* on their dreams. However, within the "fine print" is an *expiration date* in which society expects you to *abandon* them. Life is a *personal* journey. If there is something you've always wanted to do go for it. ***"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."*** \- W.M. Lewis ***“Never allow waiting to become a habit. Live your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now.”*** \- Paulo Coelho ***"The world may not owe you anything, but you owe yourself the world!"*** \- Kevin Darné Best wishes!


I went to college and rocked it. This fall, I'm transferring from community college to Cal/UC Berkeley's business school on a full-ride. I'm going to buy hair after I graduate. Edit: fixed my school's name


Berkeley is a cool place. Walking around the neighborhood with the rose garden and seeing everyone’s awesome well cared for plants, it’s like a secret garden in there. Plus good restaurants. Congrats on getting in and the full ride!!!


Going to Thailand . . .


The disgusting realization as an adult when my grandfather's trips to Thailand weren't because he appreciated the culture and history like my mom claims.


It sucks for those of us who actually just want to visit Thailand for the history, food and culture.


Once at the place I used to work. We have a doctor that flies to Thailand often. I think deep down inside, we know what his real reason was... One day we found out, he went again over there for his annual Thailand vacation.. had a heart attack and died in a resort somewhere. Probably 2-3 years ago.


I hate that this stigma exists because I train Muay Thai and have an interest in training in a gym there for a week eventually. It's a shame it is also a hub for human trafficking/sex tourism.


Yeah, I hate that too. I’m huge into scuba and it’s so cheap there, and the water is so warm. Thankfully as a woman it’s not the first thought people have, but I’ve told guy friends they should check it out, but they don’t like the idea that if they go there by themselves their motives will be questioned.


I hate that stigma, too. I've never trained Muay Thai, but I'd love to go to some matches in Thailand. And Thai food is my absolute favorite. I'd love to go for a month and just eat, hang out on one of those cool beaches with the rock formations, and drink cheap singha. To make it worse, one of my Facebook friends that I used to work with took a job in Thailand. But didn't bring his wife or kids with him. And makes lots of borderline suggestive posts


Fuck the stigma Thailand trip is absolutely worth it for the food and beauty of nature alone


And that's my old boss' boss. I'll never forget the day I was onsite with a customer and got a facetime call. It was all Thai girls passing the phone around a club waving and talking about my wiener and how much they heard about it. Then it comes back to the owner who is sopping wet with spilled booze, incoherent and mumbling about how I had the smallest cock on the planet. He squints, focuses on the phone and goes "oh fuck wrong number" and hangs up. We never spoke about that again until the day I quit and he brought it up at the going away party where the guy he meant to call was right there with his wife. I cringed so hard my toenails all snapped back 180 degrees.


LOL WTF? This kind of thing only happens in outrageous comedy movies!


I sometimes suspect that we live in a simulation, and that it’s mostly a comedy. That job was…a trip. The place was a small software company and I joined right out of school. It was great experience, but also horrific culture, put me in therapy, and broke 2 other marriages, but holy fuck did it give me good stories. One time I hid a bunch of resin teeth around the office in places I knew wouldn’t be touched for months on end picturing I’d have found another job by the time they were found. I get an IM from the GM about 2 months later that starts with “hey I know you like weird shit, so I figured you’d like this. I found one of [owner]’s teeth in a desk drawer today. He lost it while drinking a few years ago and must have forgotten it.” I asked to see expecting that it was one of the teeth I hid, but nope, shit was in an old bloody napkin. I have friends who were thrilled when I got out but miss the stories. Everyone from my parents through therapist wanted me out after I saw a guy fall 4 stories to his death across the street off a scaffold, saw his brains smush out, and was warned if I needed to take the rest of the day, I could, but it would be noted. It was a mixed bag lol.


Was this McAfee?


Worked in the oilsands for a while. All the rednecks went to Thailand. All of them. The "fun" line they'd throw around: "Every year I get older, every year they stay the same age" **


Oh, I know the ones, I remember being 18 years old working at Tim Hortons and they always flirted with the 16 year old female cashiers. I was always the one (a dude) who they asked to serve the customer at the window because they were REALLY creeped out talking to them over the box. Imagine the look of disgust and fury when they saw me handing them their coffee and taking their money.


Learning sql


When you catch your wife cheating on you and your kids say they hate you and you lose your job and your doctor says you have cancer and your 401k tanks and you owe the IRS a lot of money and your house is falling apart but you can't afford to fix anything.


you should make the purest crystal meth ever


Um...you uh...want me to look at that utility closet?


Are you OK man?


just a lot of stuff going on right now.


Sorry man:(


If you join the French Foreign Legion without letting anyone know you can walk away from it all. Well not the cancer but maybe it's little "c" cancer and not big "c" cancer.


And then one of your students helps you start a meth business...


At least you could get a good country song out of it.


Warhammer 40k. Getting too old and rusty for competitive video games. Tabletop is where it’s at


This is a very interesting thread


A perfectly manicured lawn.


I tell you hwhat


Why does anyone do drugs when they could mow a lawn


Dangit Bobby


*l i n e s*


I personally just drink a lot and hope to only outlive my dogs by a long enough time to bury them.


Startin to party again in their late 40s early fifties often with their sons or daughter.


A man cave with things from your childhood only you and few others understand.


Younger wife and new kids


Quarter life crisis is coffee and sour dough bread. Mid life crisis is career change/working from abroad in Portugal and a shitty arm tattoo.


I bought a convertible mustang for $3400. It can be done, fellas.


Did you have to do a ton of repairs?


Being sad in silence, too old to be ok to vent, not old enough to walk it off.


Well, for my ex-wife it was cheating...


I quit my job at 35 and hiked the Appalachian Trail.


No two midlife crises are the same lol. For my parents it looked a little like this though I guess their midlife crises started earlier than most cuz they had kids young: Mom- She met a guy 10 years younger than her and just left. He had a decent job so he took her on all these international vacations. Then when she came back (to the area not to be a mom) she kept dating younger guys and partying for like 10 years. Bio-Dad- started kayaking, joined a dance class, and just became social which wasn't a word I would have used to describe him before. My step-dad and mom had split up, and my step-dad had been dating someone else. When they (stepdad and his gf) broke up my bio-dad swooped in, started dating her (like a month later), and then they got engaged. Then tried to get custody of my sister and I. When that didn't work out (it was a mess of a custody battle and the two people fighting over us didn't end up taking us), he stopped speaking to my sister and I for about 2 years. (Ex) Step-Dad - I think he's just finally getting to his lol, I think the other parents made him have to wait for the kids to all grow and move away before he could have his (since after their custody battle the bios just kind of went whoops and left us at his house to be raised after all that). Or maybe the midlife crisis was deciding to keep us lol. But still, I don't think I'd even call it that. He's just got hobbies now, when before all he did was work. He's a Jeep guy now, like looooooves all things Jeep. He got really into homesteading and survival prepping (we joke about going to the farm for the apocalypse a lot because he's ready). And he got way more involved with his union at work. Oh, almost forgot, he bought himself a kilt for festivals (that he loves to wear) and came home with his nipple pierced, so I guess that may have been part of it...


Finally a decent gaming PC.


For me, it's learning how to make pottery, in the wheel and hand building


Well, back when I *was* middle aged, I started working out and learning to play an instrument. I've never stopped. I'm well past 60 now, but can do the physical things I want to do, had a blast playing blues in crappy bars and watching people drink and dance. I'm still doing all this stuff, I can deadlift 300 lbs. and maintain a 14 mph pace on a 20 mile bike ride in hilly country. although I'm not in a gigging band right now, we're starting to do the "friends parties and open mic" thing. We'll play for tips anytime we get the chance. Started taking singing lessons about six months ago, (to indulge my "old age/retirement" crisis). Blew my own mind and my teacher's, it turns out I can sing! If you put that crises energy to work it can do you a lot of good.


Getting addicted to crossfit and hooking with a way younger girl there.


In their defense, the only way I’m hooking up with a younger girl is after a lot of CrossFit.


My dad has started doing a bunch of home improvement projects in his spare time. He's replaced floors, painted, built fencing... He just can't seem to take a day off. I think he feels anxious when he doesn't have something to do.


Having an affair with a younger man or woman.


A [suicide](https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics/). Disclaimer: I’m okay, maybe stare into the void too much. Today I’ve been thinking about all the dudes out there (dads or not) who think they got no one who’ll take their internal pain and emotions seriously (some really don’t), and feel alone even when surrounded by family that truly love them. Take a moment to remind them that you’re a friend, spouse, or even a bar buddy who gives a fuck about how they’re doing (even if that just means talking about how many barrels they’re running on their carburetor, and if they went with the Edelbrok intake or not). People always think of mid-life crises as trivial or joke about the guy “not having his shit together,” but it’s a pretty serious mental illness issue that often gets swepted under the rug. I think that middle age men being the most likely folks to off themselves speaks to that.


After turning 40 my husband asked for a divorce out of the blue. I moved out. After a year of separation he wants me back. Even though it's been hard, leaving him was the best decision I made. He wants to reconcile, I want the divorce.