Came home to this, I don’t own a cat
By - DiCHWer
People don’t own cats, cats own people. Say hi to your new master.
Or as a sign I saw once in a shop said: "Dogs have owners, cats have staff"
Me to my dog "you wanna go for a walk?" her "omgomgomgomg yes" me to cats "you wanna sit on my lap" them "no but here's my butthole now follow me and feed me"
“Not right now, but carry on about your business and I’ll let you know when it’s lap time”
Usually right when you were about to stand up and do something else.
my cats have a sixth sense for when i need to pee and that's when they sit directly on my bladder and purr
Neighbourhood act walks in and jumps on my partner's lap when he's on his phone or reading the paper. Cat makes sure sit between phone or paper and my partner's face.
So true. Source: have been staff to ~5 cats over the years.
I once read a sign that said: "You own a dog but you feed a cat"
Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of a cat!
Came here to say this! I am proudly owned by two 😂
All hail Skittles. King of the house.
This is exactly true for how I got my cat. She showed up at my window one day, I let her in and fed her. It’s been 2 years now and she has not left.
Looks like you do now.
Well congratulations on your new bundle of joy! Garuanteed to make your life better and tear up your furniture.
Also scratches... be prepared for scratches
And the scritches, don’t forget the scritches. Definitely drawing the short straw on that one though
It’s really easy not to get scratched though. Just use toys instead of your hands to play with them. It’s better anyways, hands shouldn’t be associated with anything but love and food. You’re less likely to get randomly swiped if they’re grumpy that way.
What? 90% of mine are from being used as an on ramp. 🤣
I have claw marks from my son making bread on my thighs 🙄❤️. Even though I immediately stop him everytime. I trained him to only use the scratching post tho!
Aaaaand another cat subreddit to add to my cat collection. To the rabbit hole I go! 😆
Seriously. My entire Reddit is nothing but cats and dark souls content.
My favourite subs are catstanding up, cats who yell, cats with jobs, whats wrong with your cat, cats in sinks, cats are assholes, peanut whiskers, miscatcul-
I need help
How could I forget those and also
r/bottlebrush r/catsmirin r/catswhosmoke r/CatLovesThat r/catswhotrill r/activationsound r/longmeow
Some of my favourites!
I think I'm being added to cat subs by Reddit itself. I swear two of these subs are ones I've never heard of, yet I'm a member of all of the ones you listed!
r/catculations (I think?)
Too bad the series is official end...
Elden Ring gameplay trailer launched today
I saw! Looks baller. So excited.
The best is when a r/NotMyCat becomes a r/NowMyCat!
Here's another one I just found today: r/spreadytoes
And yet that cat appears to own a couch in your living room.
It actually matches well with the rest of the decor which is a plus.
He’s there for game night.
I sleep through game night too
I wish this would happen to me! You have been chosen just go with it :)
what makes this cat an asshole? looks sweet as pie to me.
No one owns a cat... They own you.. also please send help they been making me feed them your a while now and I have been relegated to sitting on the floor.
Act like you're about to sit on them. They move remarkably quick.
The feeding? Can't help you there.
I've done that. They didn't move and I felt bad. For a while my beebee took over the couch. Until I realized "I'm people and you're cat"
Maybe my cat moves because I have a big ass? If you're skinny? I don't know.
Nah she just kinda spicy that way.
This is the "try before you buy" model.
Ah isn't that an animal carrier at the bottom of the photo...
Board game carrier haha
Can I come over to play board games and pet your cat?
So why are the board games in the bag next to the board game carrier? This keeps getting more and more confusing lol
I'm sure they took them out to play them and just haven't put them back in the bag yet. It's not that confusing.
Are you keeping it?
Looks like he owns you now.
How is he an asshole? He looks pretty comfy and sleepy to me.
You're living the dream, my one regret about having a cat of my own is that I live on a street full of friendly cats and he scares off any potential guests.
He doesn't want them dipping into his sweet deal
**Sir fluff butt was the imposter**
I’m a humble servant to my cat. That’s just how it goes, I know what every meow means. Mostly it’s just feed me but she very vocal and loves to talk. Congrats on your new cat.
Had a somewhat similar thing happen. He’s been with us for 3 years now. I’ve posted a “No Vacancy” sign in the yard. 5 is enough.
Well OP it looks like you do now. Congratulations on being adopted by a cat!
You've been invited to join an exclusive feline timeshare. $8,000 up front and $275/yr maintenance fees. The feline doesn't accept personal checks and prefers cash. Can we put you down for one of our ultra exclusive tabby models? You better hurry, only 2 more available in this phase.
You do now
Oh but you do.
I love these! Looks like you have been chosen! Cats do this with people who have good hearts-so you must be special.
Congratulations on your new grand master!
That’s her couch now
now you do
Say hello to your new pet
Why can't i ever be this lucky :(
I highly recommend going to a cat cafe if you need a fix! Or to a shelter; you can go in a room and just hang with some adoptable kitties and one will choose you, I promise.
Now you do
I think you do now
Now you do. Congratulations
Lol now you do 😸
Meet ur new roomie
You do now ! Haha
Well now you have a cat
Now you own a cat
you do now
You now do.
You do now! You’ve been chosen, accept your fate!
I don't own a cat....
You do now!
Congrats you're the cats new slave.
You've been chosen.
its your cat now sorry those are the rules
he's your pawtner in crime meow.
And cat would say he doesn’t have an owner yet there the 2 of you are.lmao!
I think you mean a slave?
Not ur home anymore.
The cat is comfy now. You are the chosen one.
Serve your feline overlord from now on, hooman.
No one owns a cat, we just work for them and they free load with occasional snuggles for payment
When it’s feeding time.
It's obvious that this person is cat-sitting, there is an animal carrier on the floor and it explains coming home to that situation while not owning a cat 😉
So that isn't a cat carrier in the pic?
go buy a litterbox and some toys. he found the warm. he will not leave the warm.
No one owns a cat. They just allow you to feed them in exchange for rubs
Is it's eye ok? Seems like blood.
/r/notmycat needs dis!
Had one on my porch when I left for work, he's been around my neighborhood for a few weeks, usually see him when getting my neighbors garbage down
Cute cat but better close your windows properly next time!
Congratulations on your new cat, lol.
Now you do.
You do now. He has claimed his human. You have no choice now. You are Chosen.
That looks like my cat, who happens to be outside at the moment. Maybe I should go check where he is! 😬
You do now, apparently. Congrats, you’ve been adopted!
"Came home to this, I don’t own a cat"
You do now.
You do now!
Well you do now
Congrats on your new cat!!
Haha. Looks like you do now.
Hope you keep us up on how this story goes on for Kitty. Kitty sure looks content there.
He’s answering the ad you placed for a roommate and he’s there for the interview.
So what’s the story morning glory?
Anybody fess up to letting it in?
Seems like a grade A kitty right there! Hasn't destroyed anything by the looks of it so are they really an asshole? Lol looks like you got a new chill buddy
You do now.
I hope you like her cuz you have a cat.
You do now....if it's not chipped and someone isn't looking for it.
I bet you left out food for him though
Man I wish this happened to me
Nobody owns a cat
U do now
Well you picture states otherwise.
You do now :)
Omg my dream hahaha
Cat's just vibing. What exactly is it doing that makes it an asshole?
You do now. Lol!
Do now. Thank your neighborhood cat stork.
That is cute and funny ! Do you know the cat ?
No one “owns” a cat!
Of course you don't own a cat. Nobody can own a cat. Dogs have masters, cats have servants.
Now you do own a cat … congrats
You have been chosen.
Feel proud, he choose you.
I once knew a cat who had to have the owners phone number on her collar because she would be randomly discovered on neighbors beds several stories up in a different building.
No one ever does.
Lucky schmuck, you have been chosen by the "cat gods" and been found worthy. I say it looks super chill and comfy so just go with it!
You have been cat burgled by an adorable little criminal!
😳 😆😅😂🤣 🥲
You got adopted!!
You do, meow
Man I got news for you
The empire has fallen the federation has risen to power you are the last free standing planet
This cat is their 1st strike
I just love thinking that you walked into your house with a cat in it and your first thought was “wow what an asshole”
Our neighbour's 15 year-old cat moved in with us a few months ago. She pops back occasionally to get medicine then comes straight back here. Totally chose us. Don't think her real owner is fussed, so we just go with it. She's my new best friend and we cuddle all evening.
Cats are complete assholes. And I love them.
Funny how they find their way in and say This will do!
You are the chosen one!
This is literally my dream
Well now you do
You own a cat now....er he/she owns you. lol
And you still don't, the cat on the other hand now owns a human.
YoU dO NoW bRo!
Does anyone really own a cat? Cats allow you to be their servant.
You do now, you’ve been chosen.
Yeah, In fact it’s kinda seems like that cat owns you :)
Isn't that a pet carrier in the picture?
Yep, they choose you. Mine certainly did.
I used to be cool, now I’m a furry ones snack bitch.
You appear to own one now.
Congrats, you do now.
You do know
I think he needs a place to crash for a few days,his rent is up😂
I blessed encounter
Cats pick you! That’s how got our cat. Best cat ever!
Surprise! Now ya do!!
LOL, I read the first half of the title and saw the cat and was like, “What’s the big deal?” And then I literally snorted and burst out laughing after I read the second half.
I love how cats just go, yep, this is comfy, think I'll sleep here now
Is this how you get a cat?
You still don't. The cat's got a new slave though.
"Came home to this, I didn't own a cat" :D