T O P

this dad's face after gathering his family to behold the greatness of his watermelon...

this dad's face after gathering his family to behold the greatness of his watermelon...

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Covideo_gamer

I thought it was going to be a fat cucumber again


AFucking12gauge

#WHAT DO YOU MEAN AGAIN


Covideo_gamer

https://www.reddit.com/r/AbsoluteUnits/comments/hnwucc/this_cucumber_mistaken_for_a_watermelon/


AFucking12gauge

I’m 26 I’ve never seen that meme 😂😂😂


RanchBaganch

That’s an unripe watermelon, not a big cucumber. He just picked it too early.


WistfulNightSky

How do you get the letter like that.


AFucking12gauge

Put # in front of your text


WistfulNightSky

#oh like this?


AFucking12gauge

#YES


WistfulNightSky

:O


DivineDLT

POG# Edit :(


New_PlasmaGreninja

#:(


DivineDLT

# ;)


daesquuish1418

#POG


WatermelonGumYum

#COOL


isaiahdallas15

#TIL


Rahi_pubgm

#THIS IS CRAZY


DaggerMoth

You can forget about a zucchini for a couple of days and suddenly it can be the size of a watermelon.


prettysureIforgot

Zucchini grows like bananas and avocados ripen on your counter. For days you stare at them and they're not ready. Turn your back and they're ruined.


wdjbat

My neighbor has one that's about 4 ft long that they apparently just forgot in their garden or assumed that a passerby would grab.


Lich180

Ain't noone taking zucchini from someone else's garden. Plant one vine you'll have to start leaving the extra in unlocked cars, and ding and ditch what's left.


wdjbat

These people had a sign that said "take what you can reach" next to the garden fence.If I had known the zucchini was ready I definitely would've been reaching.


anemoia-king

my exact thought- had to recheck the sub


dick-nipples

I thought he was going to cut his finger off


Dirko_0

Ditto


meh_idc_whatever

Sameeeee lol


Dady_Abdo

Imagine someone from a couple of thousand years saw this video.


Caleb_Gangte

"What is a watermelon?" "It's a fruit, XÆA12, it existed back then"


opieburn

Is.. isn't that Elon Musk's kids name?


samercostello

Yeah, he was apparently the first person called that back in the 2000's. Not sure why my parents didn't call me something modern like yours did, [email protected]&$:($


Krewtan

"I created the rights to sell them, back then."


capsaicinluv

It's kind of crazy how much watermelons have changed in the past couple of hundred years. They used to look like weird alien shit when you opened them.


OxyClean_

You could say that about any video. You could show somebody from a couple of thousands of years a picture and they would shit their animal hide pants


kat_a_klysm

He should be proud. That’s a beautiful watermelon. I hope it tasted as good as it looks.


honestmango

Best way to pick a great watermelon is to look for the ones with the most broken lines. It’s an indication of late growth. Also, a decent sized resting bruise. And it should be heavy for its size. These are all indications of ripeness.


Dhonnan

Idk about you man, all watermelon feels heavy to me


kat_a_klysm

I’m with you there.


tibbymat

He wanted everyone to witness the “fruits of his labour”


BusyBusyBizzy

he's one in a melon


Zealousideal-Fun1425

I seed what you did there


jakeperalta11

You guys are quite fruity with puns, aren't ya?


rrrrrivers

Calm down ladies, he's married, so you cantaloupe.


abbs709

Omg he’s so proud and I want to hug him and congratulate him 🥳


_gorillionaire

That's the pride of someone who isn't very prideful


SparkCat012

His smile showed how truly happy he is everyone is there to witness it...


i_was_a_highwaymann

The way he looks around to each person there. Had the wholeheartedness of a babe. Too adorable


dickforadolla

Holy shit never hold a knife like that and 100% don't put your hand on the man's arm cutting something to give him extra leverage or whatever it was she was trying to accomplish.


Duderus159

My butthole was clenched while he was cutting. Thought that thumb was coming off


shrubberypig

I had to double check to make sure I wasn’t in r/ winstupidprizes


helpavolunteerout

r/sweatypalms


MydogsnameisRush

A thousand line cooks cringing at this.


trutheau

Yeah, I'm glad someone said it. That's an ambulance trip waiting to happen. So many things wrong with the knife skills, starting with the fact that that knife needs to go in the garbage.


thechrizzo

I was thinking the same :D


OrishaShango

I’m sure nobody there is going to tell him how to hold a knife. Cant question the dad abilities.


EveFluff

He’s like, “take a good look at this baby”


BusyBusyBizzy

source: @beena_u


dys3dy0hxq

I like it so much.


WhompTrucker

My dad has been sending me tons of pics of his little garden hauls. Tomatoes, peppers, eggplant, cucumbers, corn, etc. No fruits though.


SnooSeagulls9348

Technically, anything that develops from a flower is a fruit. Everything else (leaves, stems, roots etc) is a vegetable.


OrishaShango

Tomatoes, peppers, eggplants and cucumbers are all fruits.


RateNXS

It's a good sign when a watermelon "breaks" like that only partially cutting through it. I bet it was delicious.


Inevitable-Good-235

Yes, tis a good omen


anakniben

That AI voice is really annoying.😾


BusyBusyBizzy

I challenge you to find a person who disagrees 😂


anakniben

🤜🤛


mauseloch

A nice perfect Melon. Tell your dad "good Job and greetings from Germany"


CPLCraft

I have a watermelon ive been for a while too. Im hoping that it doesnt turn into a cucumber.


N81LR

The video is nice, the voiceover however, no no no. (>ლ)


-SierraModeling-

This really made my day


Impressive-Name3146

Go dad!!!!!


Xero2Hiro928

He’s so proud of himself, and I’m proud for him!


Matt_guyver

Why do we have to use this voice? Do we not like our own voices?


BusyBusyBizzy

lol I try to turn them into gifs whenever the dumb voice is there but figured I'd keep it in for the WooooOOOwwwwWW response. but yeah, kill that voice with fire


I_l_I

People like hearing narration because it's easier than reading, and recording and dubbing a voice over requires a lot of extra effort, or they don't have the time or space or confidence in their voice to do it. I don't like the result but I get why people do it


rekdumn

I don’t get it. I see everywhere that everyone hates that annoying voice but the real question is, if everyone hates it why do people keep using it? It’s to the point now where I have to mute all of the videos because of it.


alohadiscordia

some people are just self-conscious of their voice. or dislike their accent in english. or get dysphoric from it not matching their gender identity. or might simply not be able to speak. plenty of reasons, it's a useful tool!


Antique-Composer

I was expecting bugs....


Po0p1ng

So cute . I thought it was gonna be a fail. Just plain old good old cuteness. Thanks! He looks so proud.


42Petrichor

I’m so happy it turned out to be a beautiful watermelon. My heart couldn’t take disappointment on that sweet face!


SuperAgent78

“I told y’all muthafuckas” - His face


babyteetee

Holy Moly **knife safety** people!!! I thought this was going to be a bloodbath.


ThatBlackGuy_2525

I love it, I wanna try it


Careless-Love-5104

Such a lovely moment, he is so proud 😀


skisandpoles

That’s so wholesome :)


queenororo

“The humans of the early 21st century regularly gathered around the melon. Waiting for the patriarch to split the fruit open for communal observation. The collective ‘ GUAAAAAAUUUUU’ signifies that this is a pleasing watermelon for the flock.”


dogevanpion

Your dad looks like my Professor Gara


fluiDood

“guys…. Guys look”


Sure_Conversation354

Look at him being proud as a peacock


redmilkwood

KCHAAK what a gorgeous sound!


IlleaglSmile

She’s a Beaut!


amyabrooks50

It's beautiful! Congrats!


sameul_anis

That's a nice melon


JefferyDexterB

He looked like he expected a different fruit on the inside lol.


blrfn231

So sweet!


hondagirl97

This is so precious!!


Drakerya

Signature look of "im tired of their sarcasm"


bo3bitty

I'm like this when I get a good carolina reaper. Mucho pride! I live in the uk, our weather is not helpful to growing reapers, but when I get the good ones I'm proud as fuck lol.


Tandian

Hell yeah! Be proud of this!


cowpatter

Looks like the address of the haggis on Burn’s Night


ReggieHarley

thats the reserved-only-for-Dad “waaaow”


TJGames4Fun

He’s like “yeah you see the inside son” lol.


Jfsport

That watermelon looks close to perfection


reddew297

Thats how women feel after giving birth haha xD


BL4M0

Does anyone else hate that voice at the beginning?


Big_Therm

can you pls stop using this annoying voice-over going forward? thx


dtb1987

Did better than my watermelon


gg_wp1

And your mother hyping it!!! Amazing!


ThatBodybuilder5791

Literally my dad


[deleted]

That’s right. Proud moment for sure. Dr Green thumbs.


IrishRogue3

Your dad has such a look of triumph on his face! Loved this!


Itchy-News5199

Awesome I hope it’s as delicious as it looks. He did a great job. And good on you for posting. I hope he knows thousands of people on the internet have seen his good work. Hope he has other successes he want to share with us.


ChazMatazz269

He should be proud! That's a better looking watermelon than I've seen from any grocery store.


Kingshazzi

That’s my pops 🙏🏽


Elwood_Blues_Gold

He looks so proud! He should, it’s a gorgeous watermelon!


CricFan619

Dad: I made this and all of you too.


Imamuffinz

That smile of pride on his face is priceless


AldaHazel

Precious


MrsBonsai171

As someone who has two errant watermelons growing in our front yard, I look forward to this day.


knipemeillim

Hey I’ve been growing a pumpkin all year (yes, singular). When I come to carve it I will be calling everyone to gather round too!


hiricinee

I was expecting 80 percent rind


ConoRiot

What a legend!!


RadicalMeatBeater

#wow.


SaysSoWhat

Lol look at his cute little half smile 😊


Numerous_Till4470

#Bruh


MikolasK

Love how everyone hyped him up the way he wanted sweet man


Global-Sky-3102

Last year i started growing a lemon tree out of a lemon seed. I didnt expect it to germinate but it did and 1 year later my leon tree is about 12 inchs tall, bark slowly starts developing. Everyone who enters my place has to see my lemon tree. I do not have kids but its amazing the fact that i managed to take a seed and grow a tree out of it. Someday it will reward me with nice beautiful lemons. I can feel some of the pride this man is experiencing.


Manofalltrade

Congratulations sir and welcome to the club. There is nothing better then an well tended, home grown watermelon. Around here it’s the only way to get watermelon that aren’t seedless. Pro tip: cut rings and take off the rind. Then break it up along the seed lines and you can knock all the seeds of the outside of the pieces super easy.


AbsintheRedux

WTG Dad!!!


KaPowPower

And theeeeeennn…


contaltdel

all goofy 🤣🤣🤣


lalamecoop

🤣


OnionHam

He split it open like one of those gourmet cheese wheels


Puzzled_Annual_3670

He looks very happy


simio_canoa

Now nobody can eat it! Just appreciate the power of the watermelon


wsclose

Hell ya! That's one amazing looking melon, I would want to show that off as well.


JustARandomGuy031

Everyone watch daddy cut his finger off!


cynthiasadie

A bit melon-choly.


the_nooble

Dads face: " I still got it"


Demonbae_

The dads face when everyone gives him a wow- it was so worth the 5 months” lol


Deathtructor

He seems so proud, really made me smile


jezebel4prez

Thank you so much for sharing this with us, made me smile


Embarrassed_Couple_6

Grampa watermelon lookin like Ghandi from Civ 6


PankoPenguins

#i mean this is perfect I have a grampa like this who grows plants and always sends me pics of them.


Hilarious_x

Damn, He looks real proud.


Fate_of_DooM

Looks like coach with hair


CheddahSpreaddah

Just realized I want watermelon


AZeeeZeee

Ah yes, the fruits of his labour


Sure-Panda-411

That’s awesome! I was expecting it would be pinkish white inside like when I grew one and my kid picked it early 😆


zennyc001

Well done, Pops!


thedawntreader85

My mom grew watermelons for a while before giving up (not the best climate for them)and when she finally got one that was big enough to eat we all shared it and it was the best flavored watermelon I have ever had.


Mammoth_Scholar_236

I thought it was going to be Hollow #TurkeyFromChristmasVacation


Confusedconscious21

When your dad wears a Martha’s Vineyard hoodie you know he knows what he is doing.


SoldiDelfinu

That’s a good looking watermelon


MikeA_0831

That looks like it was worth the wait. Non Appetit!


NoPantsPenny

This is me when even the slightest bloom occurs. Gather everyone, and witness…..behold!!!


sphincterpatrol

This made me so happy


symmiesparkles

Omg what a cutie


ji99lypu44

Ngl that looks good af


ZB525

He’s so proud!


BastardGardenGnome

He’s so cute!


purju

my son is all grown, im proud of him


ilikeborbs

That bitch looks delicious


7ordank

His expression is like the perfect mix of humble pride and arrogant narcasisim


ManagementSevere378

That robot voice is pure evil


yeatruestory

Fuck you I'm not crying you're crying!


Due_Age3247

Melon


chettheman

He killed his 5 month old child why


nhergen

Your dad is gonna cut his thumb off of he keeps this up


FunnymanDOWN

Ok it’s awesome But please next time DON’T PUT UOUR THIMB NEAR THE BLADE


cupcakeartist

Omg his knife skills made me anxious


ICE_T-

He doesnt look that happy lmao


shrubberypig

I legit thought that was someone wearing an old man costume at first


TopperMadeline

God damn that annoying TikTok narration voice.


IamAyellowAsian

#yooooo


DefiantCondor

That brain tumour inducing obnoxious voiceover will make me quit reddit one day soon


Primary-Top-3235

#ok then


spikeiscool2015

Materwelon


Always_Jerking

Guy should watch out for his fingers. Just yesterday my friend lost his also in stupid way.


El_Exodus

Can people stop using this fucking voice ffs


Wicked_Fabala

[Aww! Dad’s heart melon](https://c.tenor.com/dCmoiukBWegAAAAC/big-city-greens-cricket-green.gif)


oTemplario_Ateu

the way he held the knife


Ztormiebotbot

He is so proud. Look at the face he makes.


Suspicious-Thing-750

*loud as i can from the back* "eww seeds"


The-Sidequester

That’s a good lookin’ watermelon!


Admirable-Public-351

You’re dad is fucking awesome.


Any-Ad7551sam

Black Russian:)


Bourdang

The old boy loves melons 🍉


slim1219

Son looked underwhelmed 😂


fat_eld

Woulda been better without the stupid Siri voice


Trex_in_F16

He looks disappointed to see the seeds inside the watermelon 🍉


Tiredgirltingz

THIS IS SO PRECIOUS 😩 desi dads are the best 😩😩❤️


WaveJam

That’s a good looking melon


BassyBackpacker

u/savevideo