T O P
roastbot

OP's Bio: --- >i'm a 19 year old, depressed, unhealthily thin, politically moderate music producer. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.


Ragnarblackmane88

When you come out of the closet as a gay pirate wannabe boy band member who's taking longer to hit puberty than beiber did


Gnarly_Starwin

Pirates are *in* this year.


TrollGoo

They are nothing but Pirates, but pirates but pirates.


Calxzelda64

I'm gay and this is too gay for me


anonroastathon

When you get pulled over for "random" searches at the airport, I bet the first place they check is your nose.


Casual-Notice

I'm guessing they go straight for the rubber glove...


victoriamour

You look like the [emo Muslim](https://youtu.be/MuPRagPTXU0) from Family Guy.


FemboyXavier

omg


Consistent_Magazine4

that is fucking racist, as a Muslim I feel offended


PayneGreyWolf

Shut up


Consistent_Magazine4

not very cool


AR-BiTross

You can't be that serious and wear a paperclip for an earing. It's one or the other.


SCARE-O-DACTYL

does the fact that it's a swarovski paperclip help or am i now more gay?


illegitimate_Raccoon

Well, you can't be more ugly, so go with gay emo wannabe.


courtneyreign

Gayer than the woman’s strapon she uses on your mum on your birthday


BeardedRenegade

Black nails to fool men at the glory hole.


SCARE-O-DACTYL

this one's my favorite


[deleted]

If you were any uglier, I might have a few shots just to fuck you. In the ass. Just how you like it.


purpterp22

Is... is this a roast?


[deleted]

seriously, how jealous is your moustache of your eyebrows?


SCARE-O-DACTYL

oh, very.


Jewesph

You had self esteem prior to posting that?


zealousesq

yeah, what self esteem?


UdooUboo

Does your mom know that you borrow her high heels also?


Grandaddyspookybones

Once college fails, you can be used as a chimney sweep


SCARE-O-DACTYL

i'm trying to pursue a music career so being a chimney sweep is closer than you think


Casual-Notice

Your Participation Award is being withheld. Turns out we have standards after all.


zoomzoom_69

If Sean the sheep turned emo


sssonicq

You have Osama bin ladin's bastard son face


SCARE-O-DACTYL

man i guess i really do look middle-eastern hahaha


ArklaitGigabyte

I don't know what's more unpleasant: The fact Freddie Mercury is dead James Charles is 21 Or that their love child is on Reddit


SCARE-O-DACTYL

this was meant to be a roast but i take this as an absolute win


JohnDtheIII

Wet towel with JUST enough homo-pirate swag to stop people from completely ignoring your existence altogether.


Cultclassic33

Self esteem? The shocker is that you have any left


pipispig32

You have self asteem left? This is an accomplishment by itself


cappingaspen331

I’d try but your doing a good job yourself bud 👍


erickadue32

You look like a cross between. Capt jack sparrow and Mr. Gibbs.


tan1106881

And prince


Quentin_Brain

You look like the white, heroin addicted version of the Artist Formerly Known As Prince. Good luck kicking the habit!


Manlybutterly

Your a 10, but a long way from 100.


Pyrophobia99

Promote your sound cloud raps somewhere else.


MuzHell

Why would you choose that wig to hide your alopecia?


smalllhands

You look like the result of John Mayer’s shit after a meth binge


asisoh

Your def broke and your girlfriends cheating on you.


Appropriate_Ad771

Well she’s mad he’s been stealing her nail polish


Atrocement

Who put Timothée Chalamet on crack?


dominodreams

You should seriously get your money back from whomever it was you paid to Photoshop that hair and mustache into your picture.


Zoriene25

It should be enough roasting every time you go out in public... How dare you show that mug outside!


Alive_Barracuda85

The artist formerly known as Prince without the artist and the prince


Twentynickels

Gay, Prince loving emo kid.... Who's Mexican


TheLastUBender

You look like somebody crossed Freddie Mercury with a chocolate poodle


iamthebrain2021

Hold up. I didn’t think members of isis were allowed to be roasted on here. Oh right, this is a “we roasted you now you roast us”. Nice.


bacterialtrailer

Not a roast but I literally look like the black version of you


SCARE-O-DACTYL

cap


Significant_Fail9872

johnny dep if he was indian


Funkey-Monkey-Cock

You look like yoir wearing a snapchat filter


conor314159

If the artist formerly known as Prince, the one with the symbol, had taken a shit - which then died and left a ghost shit version of itself, it would have a brighter looking life ahead of it than you.


Ningwers2

Looks like someone forgot to wash their hands after fisting their boyfriend again


boodihaihalsmith

You look like that one kid in school who just kind of exists, people see you in the hallway and maybe in a classroom but you dont do anything noteworthy, you’re just there and if you disappeared no one would notice


SCARE-O-DACTYL

this is actually spot on


Dead_Quite

There should be a brand of toilet paper with your face on it because you look soft as fuck


SirBaconchops

So that’s where my poodle went to


Renegade2006

Mate I’m all honesty are you a boy?


SCARE-O-DACTYL

if you're genuinely curious then yes


EaterOfTheBees

The result of an unfortunate coupling between the World's Ugliest Groupie and the Artist Formerly Known As Prince.


Subject_Masterpiece7

Bird's nest for hair caterpillar for eyebrows and there's something about Mary jizz on your ear? Your dad really did fuck you senseless


Keyturner43

If Freddy Mercury and Jack Sparrow had a love child


douchedog17

I'm not even gonna roast ya. I just want to know exactly what the fuck is on your lip?


IAmAnAudity

Semen. Aged semen.


PumpkinHaunting5485

The only thing that appears to be darker than your nails is your soul.


BigManKinsella

"No I'm not addicted to crack, I just look like a corpse and spend ⅔ of my paycheck on it every month!"


JackZodiac2008

You look like you're on the run from a family that would stone you to death if you were out, and want to change your name to an unpronounceable symbol.


JackZodiac2008

Anal Q-tip. Used.


IAmAnAudity

Who the fuck uses QTips in the ass?


Odd_Conference_5342

You look like Prince but gayer


Dogfish1313

Has it ever been full to the brim?


rjsthird

If a ball sack wore an earring.


TheGratefulPhred

Look at that fucking birds nest!


CorpseTooth

You look like a stint in jail would probably knock the Post Malone right out of you.


us_mo

Aline your life, because your nose never will.


gentryadams

You look like you went back in time to sexually molest yourself.


kevingharvey

#


rsgriffin

You’ll find your self-esteem out in left field next to whatever manhood you have left.


TattooRicky76

Emo muffin ?


husqvarna576

K-mart prince


Infinite-Reindeer-87

Did you mean shatter is what gives you what self esteem you have left?


ppbuttpissboi

Did you want a dangly earring or did you not have any better ideas to hide your coke spoon?


deepinmycups

Looks like whiteboy Rick fucked Chris Cornell’s corpse


AMGWEEZY

Listen Shatter, self esteem is kept on the right! we gotta get you Normal! Wait.. why did you bowlcut and tease a doll hair wig? Looks like you broke a Keychain and hung it on your ear , anyway, chop your weird arms off .. then you'd be normal.


Marharney89

So the top of your head is that farm poodles go to when they die.


Turd_Furgusons_Bruh

Put down the nail polish and pick up a set of hair clippers


Average_Down

You look like your catch phrase is “Rohypnol anyone?”


yaboisteffert

This screams "all my friends are girls"


vikas856

Surprised you had any self esteem before posting this.


aaayyyyyysh

hahaha


theonegeekygal

When your nail polish is straighter than your nose


zealousesq

if your music is any reflection of you then I don't want to hear it....


SCARE-O-DACTYL

[it's not what you'd expect i think](https://open.spotify.com/track/5dlQbARLtkYyEHkWAUDMkQ?si=8faB7oMWRKmmBdTG1OuQiQ)


Caroline_matheny

You look like the kinda person who’d say their corpse to get a egirl to ruin your life


toastercakes

are you trying to be a fuccboi or a metrosexual gay man, decide on one pls


WoodenNichols

Like your picture shattered my screen? No thanks.


feral_husband

Fuck of Seagulls


Aflightlessalbatross

The confidence you have when your dad films your tik toks must be skyrocketing.


TheKanonFoder

Have you looked in the mirror?


loganhexel

You look like a gay version of Jack Sparrow


[deleted]

Is your Dad the Jesus from The Big Lebowski?


guy-who-says-sup

Ok failed impressionist of Travis Scott


Pryoticus

I hope your parents kick up the heat at night so you don’t freeze in the basement.


CHANCE110R

You had any left by this point?


WakeandBlake94

There are ways to get noticed without having to be weird You must not have ya dad cause them hispanic fathers dont play this shit


ClusterBuster69

This is the definition of bisexual


funkbait

A Kerry Eurodyne that will never be romanced.


epic-yolo-swag

MF wanna be goth so bad he colored his nails in with a sharpie


InterestingSun3057

Every single feature on your face is a mistake


Relevant-Board

I'm amazed you had any self esteem to begin with


sundayroastthrowaway

You can call yourself a music producer when you earn money from it. And your mom buying your album doesn't count.