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  • By - Ni-_

unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Free heroin.!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


Ok-Discipline-1776

Quitting heroin is easy. I’ve already done it 10 times.


worms9

Do it 11 times and you get a free car I believe in you kiddo


MaxwellIsSmall

Do it 100 times and you’ll unlock the golden heroin needle of the Shrek Dynasty


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MaxwellIsSmall

Idk man I consider it a W 😎


RealThatCatStabe360

200 for the platinum shot


FeelingOkAsSans5068

300 for free bobux


bigkeef69

Heard it has a legendary strain of hepatitis on it!


Haherto21

wait, you guys use a syringe?


highlandviper

Those are rookie numbers. Everytime I quit crack I got a free taxi ride to a detox centre and everytime I started again I managed to get a free car or car radio or purse (it’s an opportunistic lottery dependent on what’s sitting around). Great way to live though man. A bonus around every corner.


CovertFt

Speaking of free car let’s talk about *an extended warranty for your current automobile.


bigkeef69

MOTHER FUCKER! 🤣🤷‍♂️☠


FleshlightModel

"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too"


ItsJustStuff01

RIP Mitch


SchpartyOn

And that's just this week!


Ozy-Man-D

I think she said Los Angeles wrong. Los Angeles is the most shallow, narcissistic, materialistic, fake, selfish, cunts of anywhere. People lease cars that cost more than the studio apartment they live in, can't afford gas or food, but hey, check out their leased Mercedes-Benz E class. But I guess you have to fake it, until you make it, as an A list actor. And everyone is an aspiring actor. Being a waiter just allows them flexibility to go to acting auditions and classes.


Limpdickit9000

Man the east coast west coast beef is so bad you folks are even competing for which is most narcissistic


ASunnyDayInDecember

Lmao please take my free award!


C-Human

Free as NYC heroin?


Matthiey

Ok... That's clever, take the upvote.


dlieber

Lmao and you take mine!!


Ozy-Man-D

That was one of the few things that the West Coast could call "our thing" (besides smog, fires, landslides, earthquakes and a few other things). Now the East Coast wants to take that too.


Limpdickit9000

Hey man better calm down don't wanna end up like pac and biggy


Mothmans_Mailman

Honestly read this as pac (-man) and biggie


avwitcher

I agree that LA is way more narcissistic (it's the home of wannabe influencers after all) but New York held that title long before Los Angeles was even a little town in it's mother's womb


MediocreDot3

I think the big difference is west coast people want validation from others and east coast people seek validation through themselves (look at my expensive car vs. I don't care if you're bleeding from a stab wound, I have a 2:00 meeting)


psiloryben

Look, you guys don't *own* wildfires, ok? We had the whole state obstructed by smoke billowing in from Canadian fires the other day. We can do it, too.


avwitcher

Big difference between breathing in some sweet Canadian maple flavored smoke and having your house burn down


whales171

/r/HillariousThreads I'm surprised where this debate went.


usernamesarehard1979

That’s just like artisan crafted air.


AviatorOVR5000

Y'all all ain't ok with giving that up?? Lol. What about [the 3 W's](https://youtu.be/YpugK0RpEaU) ??


julius_seaczar

What does “y’all” mean, if you still have to type the word “all” immediately after?


AviatorOVR5000

I'm not too sure 🤷🏿‍♂️ didn't think about redundant grammar in the same sentence I was talking about Women, Weed and Weather for. I'll keep my grammar and overall sentence structure tighter for you J Sea. Forgot I was on the internet.


Huntybunch

It's is ok. We all all make mistakes sometimes.


Roheez

All y'all might, not me!


EdwardCircumcizehand

No idea what this comment is or thread but saw weed Blaze on, brother


Javaed

We all appreciate that you've acknowledged your mistake and chosen to reaffirm your commitment to maintaining the proper standards of civil society. =)


Petsweaters

And by "West Coast" you mean "Southern California"


Clay_Statue

Meanwhile Minnesota just vibin' inbetween


[deleted]

Midwest always vibin


CaringRationalist

Nah idk what the girl in the post is on, if there's one thing we can all agree on its LA people are way more narcissistic than NYC people. This is literally the first time I've heard anyone express otherwise.


BretTheShitmanFart69

From ny living in la now and you’re completely right. Ny Is “I don’t give a fuck about what you do just don’t bother me” California is “I don’t give a fuck about *you* because you’re not *me* and *im* important”


mybotanyaccount

Never been to NY but i feel there should be a "so fuck you" at the end.


BenedictKhanberbatch

Only if you walk slow


PeevedOrangePeel

Are you comparing a single city to the entire state of California


Thelonious_Cube

"LA" is not synonymous with "California"


royrogersmcfreely3

If we’re nominating states for biggest cunt, I think Kentucky deserves a mention


pennhead

I don’t think they meant *literally* biggest cunt.


Jimste7733

Help me find my keys


usernamesarehard1979

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--9kqhzQ-8Q


NewLeaseOnLine

As an Aussie, I'm just impressed you guys are finally embracing *cunt* so casually. Makes me all warm and fuzzy.


mrjabrony

This has been a massive, decades long project and there's still a lot of work to do. But we're gonna keep pushing.


[deleted]

My mom still freaks out when I say it at Christmas but we're getting there.


FirstTimeWang

Cuntucky


rechercherecherche

waiter? that's old hat now you sit at home in the midwest selling your soul to insta/tiktok/youtube until you're big enough to move to LA but not big enough to be taken seriously in LA.


badbrains

Talking about millions of people like they're all the same, so hot right now


flinchFries

Both NYC and LA are absolute garbage. I live in NYC. Question: to go in the U.S to have quality of life and financial prosperity? _asking for a friend_


fehiwi9061

>Question: to go in the U.S to have quality of life and financial prosperity? > >asking for a friend Probably Charles Town West Virgina. Live in West Virgina, but work in Northern VA. Its very common to get a 6 figure job in loudoun county or fairfax, and 35 minutes away is Charles Town with beautiful homes, low taxes and a lot of nature like Harpers Ferry, youre right on the AT. Thats what i would do.


flinchFries

You gave me a lot of information to look into. I am pretty excited!


buckeye27fan

Just keep in mind that you're closer to an hour from Fairfax (Reston is an hour, Pentagon City/WDC is closer to 90 minutes). 35 minutes will only get you to about Leesburg or Woodburn.


GreenBeaner123

Dude shut up 🤬I don’t want anymore people moving out here


flinchFries

This comment made my day. I don’t blame you.


ATLtinyrick

Atlanta, but I say that mostly with bias because I like it here. However, people from California and NYC are moving here in huge waves so I guess that means something?


Rickk38

Not sure what industry/business you're in, but both Charlotte and the research triangle (Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill) in North Carolina have a lot of commercial opportunities, and the cost of living is still pretty good here. Charlotte has piles of affordable suburbs around it, and the Triangle still has a decent cost of living. They've also got a relatively diverse population, and a lot of activities/events. Traffic sucks though. When you read about cities like Charlestown, Atlanta, or the ones I listed, always check commutes. Unless you work remote/consulting, then in that case, probably won't matter as much.


a_Food_lover

The “everyone is an aspiring actor” bit is just so old and so stupid.


[deleted]

Eh maybe west side cunts who all moved there from the east coast after college


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cocobellahome

Basically the plot of Bowfinger


OGPresidentDixon

Smashing pumpkins? I love to do that!


[deleted]

So we are just pretending Miami doesn’t exist huh


bubba_feet

Nah, we try to pretend the whole damn state of Florida doesn't exist.


swamptaint

Don't worry it will sink soon enough


cholotariat

LA does have better heroin.


awefphi

Lmao I studied acting in college and I fucking hated the environment. Made 1 great friend though.


kjm6351

And yet both this and New York are dream vacations spots for small townies like us Marylanders… wat


MystikxHaze

[He just won't stop with the social commentary](https://youtu.be/qaZmZakFQek)


Knot_In_My_Butt

Lol who are you hanging out with? I think that is the bigger problem, because I think there are some real good people in LA.


clover-the-clever

I once read that New Yorkers are kind but not nice. Los Angelenos are nice but not kind. As a NYer, that’s pretty accurate.


LatrommiSumac

Also if you want to see heroin needles on the ground, come visit San Francisco.


MonsterThumb101

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call L.A. The only way to fix it is to flush it all away Any fucking time, any fucking day Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay Fret for your figure and Fret for your latte and Fret for your lawsuit and Fret for your hairpiece and Fret for your Prozac and Fret for your pilot and Fret for your contract and Fret for your car It's a Bullshit three-ring Circus sideshow of Freaks


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cudeLoguH

There truly is a subreddit for everything


smellyscrotes27

r/upvotebecausebutt


I_Am_Upvoter

If you can find r/upvotebecausekidney then there's really a sub for everything


A-Manual

Well, there is a sub for r/everything


Spiked-bass4132

And there is a sub for r/shrimpridingsnails


KidneylessRat

You got my attention


hiddentldr

What did the original say?


LoneKharnivore

Upvote because boobs.


FreddyDeus

Subscribed


Mr-Tiggo-Bitties

What did the original comment say?


LoneKharnivore

Upvote because boobs.


Mr-Tiggo-Bitties

Oh... How harmless..


[deleted]

What did it say???


LoneKharnivore

Upvote because boobs.


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TheDon-2020

"She has some great....New York Boobs!"


TheyCallMeStone

"Why do they always run away?"


potatonoob95

Accurate XD


SeriousBusinessSocks

Bonk


Mr_Jubei

@chunkysdead on IG. I think it's the same on tik tok. Her content is actually quite funny


Diligent-Kramer

True


ImJackthedog

r/upvotedbecauseboobs


alienpussy69

Hey! That’s my syringe! You guys can use it too if you want. I’ll share


420milfhunter69x

Nice name bruh


BullShite69420

Yours is better in my opinion.


Lost-My-Mind-

Sometimes when you eat the creamed corn, and the jacket from space interrupts your moo, Iceland surrenders and then blue blue. Yes. Blue blue. You see? It's easy!


ultimaIV

That's not an IV needle. I've seen enough of them.


420milfhunter69x

That’s what I was thinking too.


royrogersmcfreely3

It’s a plunger for butt vodka


420milfhunter69x

It’s probably a runner using some kinda supplement


_fixthefernback_

You’re right. It doesn’t have a needle at all. It’s a syringe typically used (in my line of work) to give tube feedings and meds to someone who has a PEG tube or G tube in their abdomen.


anal_blaster69

its for giving an enema.. those heroin shits are no joke


ultimaIV

Yeah man. They start small so you past the point of no return then they blow your ring out rapidly and you are screaming and bleeding then you need more heroin for the pain.


nomadruby7

This is chunkysdead a comedian/influencer on Insta and I think tik tok


thefabulousbomb

Yeah she’s an influencer on tiktok too, when they’re not banning her videos anyway


FireStrato

why do they ban her videos


thefabulousbomb

Because she makes jokes about sex and drugs and tiktok have decided that it’s not okay, but they don’t care about racist videos with black face.


buttery-jack

There's literally porn on tiktok tho


Nickodyn

Nobody is injecting heroin with that syringe


__WHAM__

Not unless they’ve got a few grams to mix up, and the ability to inject with a blunt plastic tip.


oliverbm

Maybe an elephant?


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Vardhu_007

lets take a minute to appreciate the subtitle person( most possibly her) for not placing the subtitles at the bottom of the frame as its usually done.


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Smartise_

No one seems to have the reference for the tittle :( (Frank sinatra, New York)


AgentFrank24

I know, I was very disappointed there wasn’t a sing along at the top of the comments.


no_sarcasim

I mean... she ain’t wrong. After night you get TONS of free heroin


sinerdly

seriously? any video where there's any sort of cleavage shown and men are frothing at the mouth in the comments...its pretty creepy


limitlessEXP

This just in. Breaking news. Straight males like boobs.


supreme-222

Omg who would of known ! Men, straight, attracted to breasts? The more you learn everyday.


slainbyvatra

It's uh... it's "would've."


wxmanify

Even gay men appreciate a nice set of heavy breasts


ArmadilloReasonable9

Heavy breasts sound exactly like how captain holt would describe them if he’s pretending to be straight “I love a sturdy and heavy breast, it both comforts and arouses me… sexually”


wxmanify

Ha yeah that was the reference I was going for. Nine nine!


fedxc

Everyone likes boobs, you are supposed to look at them and wanna suck them. It’s the only intuitive thing in life, everything else is learned.


sqgl

[Boobs a lot](https://youtu.be/EPVgKoruWdA) Do you like boobs a lot? (Yes, I like boobs a lot) Why d'you like boobs a lot? (You gotta like boobs a lot)


ShadowMurderer7

You can like them, but what exactly is the reason for commenting about them?


SeniorCoolio

My guess is liking them is their reason? Lol


CLSosa

Commenting? On a public forum? 😱😱😱


Subrisum

When you speak their name, you invoke their power and summon it unto boner.


HolyFuckingShitNuts

What's the reason of commenting about anything? Nothing we say here matters.


Matthiey

You can like the mona lisa... but what exactly is the reason for commenting about her?


usclone

You can dislike them, but what exactly is the reason for commenting about them?


InnocentTailor

Reminds me of this classic from Oscar night: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/xxrsww


snowdope

I'll never understand why reddit is like this lmao like being attracted to women is the worst thing in the world


VisceralClient

Shit, I don't think there is a person alive who doesn't like boobs. Tits are magical.


breakingbadisgoat

I believe in only two things completely, First Amendment and boobs - Clay Travis


Lost-My-Mind-

See.......let me explain how life works. Boobs. See?


nio_nl

You make a compelling argument.


EraZer_

Back then i thought that its just weird reddit humor, but not too long ago i realized that redditors are actually that weird and just overall pathetic lol I can see that my comment made those exact redditors angry, i love it.


I_Bin_Painting

> Back then i thought that its just weird reddit humor, but not too long ago i realized that redditors are actually that weird and just overall pathetic lol ...speaking as a redditor yourself...


TtheDuke

What’s worse? Makin a comment about some great NY boobs? Or complaining about people making those comments, on a app that’s is mainly guys.


[deleted]

There’s one boob comment, shut the fuck up


Timebug

I don't think it's just that. She has a nice complexion and muscle tone.


Embarrassed-Bike-629

![gif](giphy|S3Ot3hZ5bcy8o|downsized)


IRLMOOSE

This gif seems to be used properly everytime.


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bdemirci

tidi


standingboot9

I think she knows who is watching her videos and dresses the part.


sinmantky

/r/upvotebecauseboobs


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AviatorOVR5000

As much as I appreciate you fighting the good fight here, you picked a really peculiar person to defend Especially given your argument [against hyper sexualization](https://www.instagram.com/p/CPwfDYmh8eK/?hl=en) Either way, I fucks with you for taking a stand. Can't imagine how frustrating it is to feel like your people are being subjugated for "one" thing, like a rapper or an athlete when they are just humans first. Thanks for standing for *humans*.


stealz0ne

Some men. Or even some man. Or even more likely some teen boy. Just like some women are thirst trapping.


ledepression

You must be new to the Internet kid. Just don't turn that NSFW tag off if you want to remain sane. And never ever visit r/gaming


hamndv

Look at the popular page it's all sexual content


Different_Persimmon

ok but she is super fit and looks amazing and has her giant bouncing boobs carried by just a skinny strap. Extra points for a beautiful ponytail Although I wouldn't have said anything if you hadn't. Just saying it's not necessarily the clothes, or the amount being revealed. She's stunning.


SwankaTheGrey

Plus, you know, it's in /r/unexpected and it was unexpected, and funny. Does she have boobs, yes. Is that WHY people like this video. maybe...


Splits-0

Would you look at that you get replies of men defending it. Thanks reddit


g1utt0ny

Do we have a gender tag on all accounts now? Or you just assumed everyone replying were men?


Armybob112

Free what? It's too damn fast.


Ni-_

Hot dogs!!!


First-Programmer-246

Bagels!!


PuddingRnbowExtreme

Free h3r01n


Armybob112

Thanks.


Mojo_Numanox

I'm all in


twofiveninetwo

r/upvotebecauseboobs


FurryAltY

![gif](giphy|l3q2K5jinAlChoCLS)


PotatoBra1n

Free heroin boii, Im in!


dave_18

I’m a simple man


Bobby_Mcschloppy

with heroin everything is a bagel


Soooka_Blyat

*New Fucking York*


BretTheShitmanFart69

Even worse that’s for doing drugs up your ass.


BiblioPhil

Not a syringe used for drugs.


MrTubalcain

Lol I think she has us confused with Los Angeles


Do3jf_tiny_tower

The comment section below looks like its not reddit anymore, ITS A FUCKING TINDER SITE!


bruhmyweedbruh

What's her tiktok?


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McGasssy

As a New Yorker this is beyond true


thefireducky

![gif](giphy|U3227CFSTQX3a)


spicysenpai94

This video doesn't belong on this sub for this is pretty expected stuff for New York City


Ohnezone

Her IG is both sexy and hilarious


H34D_Ru5h

She has the most perfect tan


nmw6

Is that even nyc? I live here and I’ve never seen a bridge that looks like that


ukzario

Is that asa akira?


m0nstr5oul

I have not seen her face yet