He just wanted some juice
By - throwramblings
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!Didn't expect that MJ at the end!<
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That vacuum was a freaking KIRBY! Best vacs around lmao
No, Miele is.
Ooo never heard of them, what're they like
German brand, all designed and manufactured there. Crazy expensive, but very well built.
Nothing compares to our 40 year old Sears canister vac
Not anymore, just the expensive ones are made in Germany, the rest is made in Chine.
I don't buy products made in Chine. I only buy Americe.
I have a Miele mixer. Use it a few times a week. It's 43 years old (I know because the receipt is in the box)
Can they? 😏
Ah, I guess you weren't around for the legendary vacuum repair man AMA.
I've wanted a Miele ever since that AMA
That guy should get royalties from Miele. After that AMA I went and got one the next day. Definitely lived up to the hype.
Month later for me. Same.
Haha we had an old Kirby that my gfs parents gave us, after reading the AMA we got a miele lol. They are great.
I have a miele. I hate it. Bought myself a cordless shark and now I actually enjoy vacuuming. I never thought I would say that but I seriously got out my vacuum to clean up a crushed cookie earlier and ended up vacuuming my whole house because it was so effortless and fun...
God. What has my life become?
Can we get a link for the uninformed
The most recent. Also includes links to the previous AMAs as well.
That guy still around? Dude is a legend.
I thought miele were like the best german dishwashers
Miele are a home appliance brand, they have a huge range of products and they are all seriously good quality. I have a Miele vacuum, dishwasher and also a Miele induction cooktop and they have been so so good.
That Kirby is old man, it's a damn tank. A family member has one and only retired it because they have a hard time getting bags for it.
My mum retired hers because it was too heavy for her these days. I believe it lives with a different family now. I don't know how many attachments survived...
How? You just call the company and they sell you as many as you want over the phone. It couldn't be easier. Plus many grey market bags even on Amazon.
It also has so few moving parts almost anyone can service it.
Truth. My parents have had theirs for over 20 years with not a single problem. Best vacuums around.
I was a kirby salesman for a week. They would force us to force ourselves into people's homes and start vacuuming.
Pile 12 deep into a van and drive off to some neighborhood. They drop you off at a house and now its your time to shine.
Couldn't take no for an answer. Just with the power of persuasion weasel your way past them with a lot of 'youre going to love this, follow me'
'follow you? Into my own house? I already said I'm not interested in the free cleaning'
'i promise if you give me just 3 minutes you'll want to see the rest if the room done' you say as you assemble the machine.
During the training they told us to never stop talking as we "pushed past them through the door". If we don't stop talking they don't have the opportunity to say no.
As soon as we were through the front door, the driver dips out, leaving you and the homeowner feeling awkward af.
During our training they told us that as long as they weren't threatening to call the cops or defend their property to keep going.
""""No doesn't always mean no"""" what the fuck?
Then you clean for an hour while they keep saying 'this really isn't necessary, I'm not interested in buying'. But you're not allowed to stop until they say 'maybe'. You just keep reciting the script until they say they'll consider it in the future.
That's your cue to immediately call the closer who rushes in like a snow blind starving wolf and harasses them even more. Promising to work with their bad credit and set up affordable payment plans. For every "no" they say, the closer calls the "financial department" to "work out a better deal". Don't worry the customer is going to be included in a free vacation raffle.
You just keep cleaning that one room while you listen to some sociopath twist and manipulate these poor people.
After 3-4 hours being forced to hold someone hostage in their own home you leave, knowing you manipulated someone who is barely able to pay rent into buying a 1200$ machine. 3,000$ if they're suckered into all the attachments that they'll never use.
Don't make sales? Fired. 100% commission. No hourly pay.
Great product. It's the best vacuum on the market and sure as shit works wonders. Horrible company.
He’s like that because it probably works. I mean how many people just agreed to buy the damn thing to get this psycho to leave
Fun fact. One of the Kirby salesman did this to us and cleaned our living room carpet but my parents were so lazy that they never shampooed the carpets in ten years so when the guy came to demo, We had a block of clean carpet next to obviously dirty carpet. Still didn’t motivate my parents 😫
Shampooed carpet? What?
Kirby is not just a vacuum. It also shampoos carpets with an attachment they sell. I only used it once to shampoo and I wasn't super impressed, but also I might be terrible at it.
I think it does a couple more things. You can use it to inflate shit, polish floors and maybe something else.
Nice try, terrible kirby salesman
> and maybe something else.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
[it will rip your dick off](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNOmZ4l4v54)
Its a word people used when referring to carpet cleaning using a machine like this:
This happened to my family in the late 90’s. This guy showed up at our house and started cleaning our floor. My dad was on his way home from work and by the time he arrived the sales guy was literally vacuuming my bed to show how powerful it was. Impressive vacuum actually. Anyways my dad walks in and its me, my mom and little sister and some random dude in my room. I thought my dad was going to beat the shit out of this guy. He started screaming at the top of his lungs to get the fuck out. It was pretty intense. The sales guy was shaking as my dad literally grabbed him by his shirt collar and threw him out of our front door. At the time I felt bad for him but looking back now it’s kinda funny. The worst part for him was his coworker had just dropped him off at our house and he didn’t have a ride. Our closest neighbor lived about half a mile down the road so he just walked down to the corner and waited until his friend picked him up like an hour later. My mom was just too nice to tell him to fuck off.
Quite an insight into what sounds like a huge mess. Door-to-door salesmen and the like should just end.
I had a lady come to my house 2 months ago during the pandemic who wanted to come into my house and vacuum my rug for free, just to spread the word about their vacuums.. no idea who is actually letting them do that kinda stuff in this neighborhood. I live on the border of Oakland, CA where my citizen app (crime tracker) would notify me constantly if I let it. I appreciate the effort but that kinda stuff seems out of date. Even if I lived in a boring safe neighborhood, I don't wanna talk to a stranger at my door. Never have, never will.
We kept telling someone no repeatedly. When the closer came in with paperwork and ask us what they needed to do to make us a Kirby customer. That's when my mom opened the laundry room door and pulled out our kirby. Wasted 2 hours of their time.
But apprently they also didnt realize that the owner, Frank Kirby, was also our next door neighbor. He had gifted us the vacuum when we met him. Weird dude honestly. Bad at poker.
Man, you should have told them you weren't interested but the guy next door is totally into this kind of stuff. I'd kinda love to see the reaction if that happened.
I had this exact experience when I was out in Ogden, Utah. Except I did the training day, realized what was up and didn't come back the next day.
Literally first day of training, "No doesn't always mean no" verbatim.
Where have I heard that before?
Oh yeah when someone’s planning to rape me
They're supposed to cost $4K? I barely paid over $1,000 for mine a decade ago.
They can sell that high. I think the average is ~~22k~~ 2200. It depends on how many sales the dude already made that week, and how much they like you. When my old roommate did it years ago, I bought mine for 1200.
Do you realize that you just typed that a vacuum costs 22,000 dollars?
Yeah I remember the training video. Some guy went into an area that had 0 sales and he got 175 machines sold in a month or whatnot. He said that when they say 'no' it means they don't 'know' enough. What a psychotic asshole.
My career was also very shortlived. We lasted for 3 weeks and then the boss fled the County with a phone bill of 45k equivalent.
Lmao. I was an accidental Kirby Salesman for a single day. I went into the interview (group setting/presentation) thinking it was a sales gig for Red Bull. I decided to stick with it because it seemed like a hilarious life experience.
"No doesn't always mean no." was absolutely a key component to their sales methodology. The following day I was shadowing one of the trainers and it was absolutely incredible how many people were ready to fight them. My dude would legit try to slide on in to homes after multiple nos.
God damn reading this is giving me flash backs from when I tried to sell Kirby vacuums for about a week back in 2010. Got told by the sales manager to get the fuck outta here at the end of a day cause I wasn't making any sales 😂😭, like you said, great product, horrible company.
Those MJ moves at the end, tho.
He had them paper towels to slide lmao
Smooooth like a criminal
holy shit im not the only one that noticed that famous 4 ton vacuum. my parents bought one of those from a door to door sales man...in the fuckin 90s.
note: its still running and will suck the paint off a buick.
I just left a comment saying something similar!! Beast of a vac. The bags are getting harder to keep though. I have to order them online!
There's bags on Amazon. Just put in your Kirby model number and there are generic ones.
I’ve got the Kirby my parents got for their wedding 40 years ago. It still works perfectly. Some would say, it still sucks
I'm a Shark man myself
I paid around $700 for a Dyson like twenty years ago and did what it said on the tin but that was about it. It went up in literal smoke right around the time my mother died last year.
Anyhow, she had a Shark and I don't know what she paid for it, it's noisy as all fuck and perilously creaky sounding but comes apart in like forty-seven different yet somehow useful ways and seems to suck the fuck out of whatever you need the fuck sucked out of no matter how you use it so yeah, it's an alright vacuum.
>comes apart in like forty-seven different yet somehow useful ways and seems to suck the fuck out of whatever you need the fuck sucked out of no matter how you use it so yeah, it's an alright vacuum.
Now there's a review
This is like, the most accurate description. I went from a Dyson to a shark as well. Shark is just so much easier to maintain it feels like.
I have a Kirby that's lasted 20 years with some repairs. All Shark machines I've ever had, break and they're not repairable like a good ol' Kirby.
I'm certainly not knocking Kirby, just never used one. My Sharks the most powerful vacuum I have ever owned. One thing is for sure though if you buy cheap you pay twice. You can't beat havjng a good vacuum cleaner
Too real. I have a Shark steam cleaner for tile and the like. Love it.
Kirby are great, the only time I've seen one break is the wheels disintegrated after like 30 years. But if I were to buy a vacuum for myself i would probably search thrift stores for them in this order: shark > oreck > hoover and then anything else, because I like the light weight of modern vacuums over the bulky overkill of a kirby.
This is a unique opportunity for me to share with you guys my dog named Kirby (silly guy but I love him). Dog tax below:
My parents were just telling me last night when they first got married circa 1984 a door to door salesman came and sold them a $1000 Kirby. My parents were broke so my dad financed it. That sucker lasted till like 2004. I’d say Kirby takes the win.
$1000?! Good god!! Maybe this vacuum is overhyped....still love the machine, but yikes!
$1000 in 1984. I don’t even want to do the math on that.
Value of $1,000 from 1984 to 2021
Cumulative price change: 163.30%
Average inflation rate: 2.65%
Converted amount ($1,000 base): $2,632.98
Price difference ($1,000 base): $1,632.98
Yeah but to be fair my wife has gone through like 5 vacuums in the time that I've been using the same hand me down Kirby. It always stayed downstairs because "it was too heavy". Before she bought another canister vac I had her actually try the Kirby and showed her the drive function. Weight doesn't matter when it drives itself, unless you run over your toe. She loves it now and it's probably going on 25 years old. The Dyson ball is my garage vacuum because, well, it sucks at sucking.
Isn’t Kirby an MLM?
Yes they are. They do shampoo and deep clean, but if you need to have financing options to buy a vacuum cleaner ($1500+), I will pass.
Hmmm maybe! I got mine as a hand me down.
Considering the person who gave it to me bought it from a door to door salesman in the 90's, probably.
Maybe the old ones but man they are a sham these days.
They arent that great. Its just that no one wants to admit they paid a royal fuck ton of money for a sub par machine.
Well sir, that's a sweeping generalisation. Mine has just been collecting dust
We bought a rainbow which is pretty sweet
This thread needs that vacuum repair guy that used to do awesome amas, haven't seen one of those in awhile.
The ps4 fan part is real
BIIIP echoes through the whole fucking house
My girlfriend hates when she's sleeping and I turn on the PS4. The beep always wakes her up, even when she's at her place.
I’m just glad it isn’t only me. I thought I was just a bad console owner 😅
The fans can be cleaned out pretty easily, I’m just like, way too lazy
Yeah but like two weeks later they make that sound again.
I replaced the thermal paste on mine following a YouTube video. It’s been quiet ever since!
I replaced the hard drive with a 2 terabyte drive. I haven't had that sound in 3 years.
HDD doesn't affect thermals. I'm lost. Am I being whooshed?
Am i getting wooosh here? Why so many upvotes
Well not the original so much, it's possible but not as easy as the slim and pro
The ps5 has a port designed to be sucked by a vacuum
But can’t you, just like, buy replacements at that only fans website?
Not just you. Starting up my ps4 always get like firing up a helicopter
100% get a slim. Mf can run RDR2 and the fan will still be quiet as a mouse, it’s heaven
I have one but, shit is a jumbo jet with 10 extra engines fr
My PS4 be sounding like a jet engine, complete with spooling up sound smh
Did a cleaning of mine and applied new thermal paste and I barely hear it now.
Used to be like having an aircraft taking off in the living room.
What a shit fake. Who the fck wears jeans at 3AM?!
Why would you do that?
Maybe just came home from a night out
I can only speak for myself, but ditching my pants is the very first thing I do when I come in.
If you buy comfy enough pants it doesn't make a huge difference.
^ this right here.
Same, I wear shorts inside so I can just
and I'm in shorts
Who did you kill?
Ham on. Ham on whole wheat- alright!
MEEEE HEEE HEEE
Who drink Ecto Cooler at 3 AM?
Well, I used to talk with a guy who claimed to wear jeans to the bed...
I briefly had a roomate one time that did that. He wore jeans, a hoodie, and boots pretty much 24/7.
Billy Jean is not my lover, it's just the pants that iiiiiii wear to sleep
This just happened last night! This EXACT SAME THING.
You mean you wore jeans at 3 while tuning on to MJ
Umm, who doesn't?!
Of course who doesn't.
I dont. I usually turn into David Bowie, but otherwise this exact thing happens to me as well.
Admittedly it’s only 1 am where I am. But yeah. I’m wearing jeans.
Are you dancing to MJ? If not then go do it now!!!
I can sort of moonwalk if I use my heelies
When I turn into MJ at 3am it's more akin to thriller
Was everyone "sleep" or asleep* ?
PS4: *beeps on*
Nasa mission control: sir, your suit is not properly fitted, confirm airtight seal before launch in t-10.
I've seen like 5 versions of this recently. This one is pretty accurate.
You'll be out for a midnight snack and suddenly, bam, you accidentally dislodge the chandelier from the ceiling and it smashes into million pieces on the floor and wakes up all ya flatmates.
It's not that specific. Who doesn't have a chandelier at person level and a bunch of flatmates?
I put on a sweater and shattered a light in my doorway. No flatmate but I’m sure they woulda woke up from it.
Shit like that has happened to us even while we were asleep.
Woke up at 2am because our light fixture *somehow, someway* broke the wall and smashed on the Murrow.
Woke up around the same time a different night to loud crash. *somehow, someway* the nail holding our very light clock fell and glass shattered everywhere.
Shit just crashes when we don’t get snacks in the middle of the night. We might explode the house if we do get a midnight snack
Flatmates in Australia is basically any group of people living together. House, mansion, building, whatever.
Not just people, also includes huntsman spiders.
Upvote for Monkey Wrench!
Surprisingly deep cut for a tik tok vid.
TIL a single that charted at #7 from one of the most famous rock groups ever is considered a "deep cut."
for tik tok? sure.
Of all the possible FF songs to pick, that’s definitely one of the loudest. Also one of the best.
I’ve never seen the video and somehow I knew that’s what the song was.
I feel like them singing it gives it away?
Oh sorry, I watch these things on mute. Sometimes I forget other people don’t.
Edit: yeah, I feel like a right dolt now
No matter how many times this gets copied, I still laugh.
Copied? First time I've seen anything like this
Imitated? First time I’ve seen anything like this
Plagiarised? First time I’ve seen anything like this
Good rule on the internet. If it's your first time seeing something. It's the 5th times it's been posted and the 10th copy of the original joke
The first iteration of this I've seen.
Last time I saw this it was an orange cup.
I actually laughed at this one. That's been me a few time. lol
I just fucking cry laughed and woke my boyfriend up next to me. Oh, the irony.
I once dropped one of those plastic gallons of water in the middle of the night.
Except in that house they kept the fridge so cold that the water would start to crystallize.
So the sound sensors in the alarm system picked it up as a breaking window and the alarm went off.
Except this was a big family farmhouse. With a couple of smaller family houses close by. So the alarm had been set super loud to wake up those houses too.
It’s also the first house alarm I ever heard that actually shouts a script at you too. So like “*weeoooo weeoooo weeooo* THE POLICE HAVE BEEN NOTIFIED *weeoooo weeoooo weeooo* YOU ARE COMMITTING A CRIME THE POLICE HAVE BEEN NOTIFIED *weeooo*”
Also the first time I found out how many guns are in my buddy’s house.
I like it says "YOU ARE COMMITTING A CRIME"
I'd like to imagine one day a robber will be like "Wait wtf I didn't realise this was illegal! My bad, I'll leave right away."
drinking water is a crime now smh
FOOL OF A TOOK
Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!
[*his wife angrily storms down the hallway after being woken up by the noise*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAyh23l1mx4)
Fighters of foo. Great song!
Ha! This was great,but what the hell was he trying to drink? Looks like a jug of off-brand Windex.
Hawaiian Punch. I know this not only because the big ass label is facing the camera, but I buy it sometimes. It's like 2 bucks.
And its not juice, dammit. Growing up in the projects mfs stayed calling this sugar water "juice" but let me point that out and Ima nerd
I'm pretty sure the label says 0% juice. I could be thinking of a similar brand though.
Its allegedly 10% juice. I think that's pure fuckery tho
Thus the infamous chappelle quote: “What the fuck is juice?!”
Probably not made out of real Hawaiians, either.
Yeah, the weirdest part of this video is that someone would get up in the night to drink that iridescent green crap. It looks like it would come with cooling rods to slow the plutonium reaction. Calling that juice is an insult to fruits everywhere.
Hey, Foofighters got me good lol
Pure abrupt chaos.
The cloth underneath his shoes made me lol
RESPECTFULLY, FUCK YOU
I was not expecting that at all
I hate how one person will have an original idea and within a year I see 15 variations of 20 different people stealing someone's joke because they lack originality.
15 variations of 20 different people... what happened to the other 5?!
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Legend has it, that cup is still bouncing around to this day.
Best part was watching this at midnight with everyone asleep but me haha
This sub has turned into r/funny
*asleep. People can be sleeping or asleep. There is no way for someone to be sleep. I hate that this has become a thing the last several years.