• By - 1q8b


**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Moose!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


That’s what happens when you give it a muffin…


I still looking for that mouse i gave a cookie




Was it a mouse or a moose?


Might be a møse? A Scandinavian one that fell in the ocean and swam the wrong way. They do that a lot as they don't have proper GPS.


A Møøse once bit my sister... No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies


A yes! The hot drill of Dr Sven!


Two books were mouse a cookie and moose a muffin


They must not have had any jam for him to go with his muffin




There's a moose, loose, aboot ma hoose!


Alaskan here, we gave a moose a muffin once and the moose wouldn't leave us alone. Dad came home pissed lmao


Australian here. What is this thing about Moose and Muffins? Enquiring minds need to know.


There is a children’s book titled if you give a moose a muffin.


A whole series: If you give a mouse a cookie, if you give a cat a cupcake, if you give a pig a party and maybe one more I can't remember...


If You Give a Pig a Pancake and If You Give a Dog a Doughnut.


They actually turned it into a children's animated series with all the characters and it's not half bad. It's on prime video.


Wow you brought back a childhood memory that I never thought would be brought up again. Thanks!


Speaking from experience: you have no idea how big a moose is until you've seen one in person


They are unspeakably massive.






This 👆 Have an upvote. That made me laugh, take my wife and kids. That made me giggle, have an upvote. That made me laugh more than it should have. Shut up and take my upvote. Take my upvote and get out. I wish I had an award to give you. Take my imaginary award. Take my award, shut up and get out. This made me laugh, have an upvote. Fuck you, and have an upvote. Fuck you, I wish I had an award to give you. Take my girlfriend, you are clearly more deserving. Take my house, you deserve it. Take my updoot. I hate you, take my upvote. r/angryupvote.


To keep reddit balance, I obligatorily downvoted you for having 16 (possibly 17) individual comments built into your one comment. The rest of hold this issue dearly, and hope you understand the gravity of the situation you have forced upon yourself and those in the immediate comment chain. Any further damage caused will be placed squarely on you and your snide attempt at fuckery. r/karmapolice


This guy reddits.




And yet we're speaking about how massive they are One I saw was bigger than the SUV I was driving, amazed the heck outta me


I was in Kake doing a timber study and had the same experience. We were driving some old logging roads and a bull trotted past us and the top of his back was out of view from the SUV.


They're typing about how massive they are. If someone asks them in person they're nervously seeking words


But fortunately not untypeably massive or you wouldn't know unless you encountered one.


My wife called me to let me know she was 2 hours late to work, because a mama moose and her calf were eating out of the garbage bags in front of the 12x16ft waterless cabin we lived in and wouldn't let her out. That was 20 years ago, and I look back very fondly of my simple life in Alaska when I was 20 years old. Now it's too complicated, bring back the moose as our biggest problem, please


Wow, so what does her boss say about her now being 20 years late for work?


And did they ever get water in their cabin?


Was it really 12x16’? It could have been 11’ 11 7/8” x 16’ 1/2”.


Not in an area with moose. They hate fractions.


Why is it complicated now?


His wife finally got out of the cabin, I assume.


As a Brit on the internet, I used to think moose were deer sized - nope, bison were cow sized - nope and wombats guinea pig sized - nope and kangeroos were half an adult sized - nope. Shits scary out there.


Yet Cadbury eggs aren't as big as they used to be.


Nah, they haven't gotten smaller, you've gotten bigger!


Fuck you Cadbury


Jamaican here — precisely. And also that reindeer didn’t exist because a creature like that obviously can’t fly and are made up like Santa Claus or the elves.


Is it bigger than a large cat?


Not only that, it's bigger than a small cat.


Right. Bigger than a small moose. Got it.


Yes. Not only that but if you'd put a large cat on top of another large cat you'd have two cats stacked together.


A small moose is approximately 345 large cats.


True, I got up close and personal to a bull moose once. Thankfully it was sedated. My friend, a vet, had it knocked out so they could cut off parts of it antlers since it was kinda overgrown. It was around 7'4". I'm 5'8"...that thing made me feel smaller than I normal am


>smaller than I normal am I know what each of these words mean individually.


Oh you smart some sort of a guy you are?


I was on a walk just last week and came around a tree face to face with [this girl.](https://imgur.com/a/N5SlNpR) Spooked the hell out of me especially in suburban CO.


Especially when Moose has no manners, that Moose needs to go back to Moose school & learn respct


Moose school had to close due to the bad economoose


I encountered a moose family in Finland once. I was walking ou r dog and the mooses (meece?) were standing in a swampy bit in the base of a ridge. We got close due to bushes and wind before anyone noticed each other. When the moose family noticed us they chose to bolt, thankfully. There were legs for miles in the air as they scrambled to leave to bog. It looked downright silly, even though it could have been dangerous.


Also a good example of why dog recall is so important


I can recall so many dogs in my life. How does this protect me from meese




There are many much moosen in the woodsen Edit: https://youtube.com/watch?v=QWzYaZDK6Is


I saw a flock of moosen


The big yellow one is the sun!


it's moosi


[When the whole crew stupid](https://youtu.be/pWxbke3Kcks)


this comment ist comedy perfection lmfao


Little double treat in this comment


Was just about to comment how well trained those dogs are. My 3 year old Chow is my first dog and he listens most of the time but getting him to come when called outside is something we're still working on. He's a stubborn asshole and if I tried calling him in this situation he'd just look at me like "fuck you ima fight it" and probably get himself hurt. Do you have any tips other than the basic positive reinforcement with treats?


Human: "Dog Stop! Just for once in your life don't smash!!" Dog: "Big Monster!"


Don’t recall on treats. Anything more interesting than treats wins. Recalls become optional. Stubborn dogs aren’t best served by food reinforcement. Not sure what to recommend but I’d be looking at schutzhund methods and not “good citizen” methods.


What works as a reward if your dog *only* cares about food, and doesn't give any fs otherwise? My dog will come when called only when a treat is more exciting than whatever is out there.


Overconfident Doggo: "Why would I come back for a treat when there is a whole moose out here! TODAY WE FEAST!!"


Impossible to say without a lot more details, but generally you want your dog to learn to come when called, because thats simply second nature to the dog. When training my dogs, what that has meant, is calling on the dog several times a day, and never allowing the dog not to comply. The second factor really is time, you need to spend at fair amount of time with your dog if you want it to learn it, for me that's meant bringing my dog to work, preferably with no lease, to properly train general obedience. But just remember, the reason they say adult dogs can't be trained, is partly because they are already set in their ways, but also because you the trainer have, in this case, already spent three years training the dog and the these are the results. Just know that further training at this point, will require some amount of habits being broken, from both you and your dog.


>never allowing the dog not to comply. What does this mean? What do you do if your dog just ignores you?


You ground it and take away its PlayStation.


You be stern with the dog. You don’t hurt it of course because that kind of negative reinforcement is horribly detrimental to what you’re trying to do. Dogs have learned however to read human facial expressions incredibly well, as well as tone. So if you make it clear to your dog how displeased you are, they will attempt to mitigate that in the future by doing as desired. They hear their name called, that means come. It is always best to reward with praise and/or a treat, but a lot of the time just saying “yay! Good dog!“ and sounding excited and happy and giving them a pet usually does the trick. Dogs inherently aim to please, you just need to make it clear what it is they need to accomplish to do that.


I just want to say I have the dumbest dog ever that does nothing but listen for me. He would get trampled by a moose because he's staring at me. Edit: I don't really want to share him because it would just seem like dog pics but it's because he never looks away. HE NEVER LOOKS AWAY. HE'S JUST 100% "LET ME PLEASE" but his face is nice.


They were ready to herd it for you


What was the moose doing? As an Aussie who has never had any experiences with them... wouldn't they generally run *away* from people?


Moose do what they want. They’re so big they don’t care what other animals and people are doing.


Fair enough. I grew up in Africa (before moving to Aus) - kinda sounds like elephants... "Everyone *else* can move, I'm going wherever I want"


I used to be like that at buffets.




Me too:(


Me too:|


Me too:/


Boer here. Behaviorally, think of them like elephants.


Boar here. Think of them like boars


Eks Afrikaans bro.


That’s the joke. Don’t be such a bore


It was in bad taste, don’t be a boor




Don’t be a booer either


Yeah, we're told everywhere in the nation, if traveling, and we unexpectedly come across one while driving, to not run them over because it'll back fire. it'd be like driving into a wall.


Well, yeah.. but there are probably a few other reasons not to run them over, right?


Yeah, it's bad for your suspension.


Me, driving down the road: I should hit that moose with my car. ... not really a thought I can imagine having.


I think this comes from how your taught to react to deer. If you suddenly see a dear it's best to hit it, as swerving might cause you to hit a tree or another car, and deer may do some damage but typically won't injure those in the car. Moose on the other hand will injure those in the car. Moose weigh 1000+ lbs and it's all balanced on top of skinny little stilts. If you hit them their legs get swept and the full weight hits the windshield at whatever speed you're going. It would be better to hit a tree.


Yep, a relative of mine ate the antlers. Died instantly. The other passenger spent years in rehabilitation after a skull and neck fractures.


There are some animals that are small enough it's more of a hazard to swerve for them. You swerve for a moose.


It's supposed to be in a situation where you're driving too fast/they run into the road quickly enough that avoiding them would risk you skidding out and crashing. If that happens with a deer, the safest thing for you to do is actually run straight through them. They're light enough that they'll cause minimal damage to you and your car, so it's less risky than swerving to avoid it. Hitting a moose is like hitting a concrete wall on stilts. It will absolutely crush you and everyone else in the car (it has a better survival rate from a collision than you do), so it's actually safer to run off the road into a tree than hitting it.


I live in New England and have never seen a moose but every once in a while there are accidents where someone hits one at night with their car. Apparently, since their fur is so dark and they are so tall, you can’t see them easily in the road. Then you hit it and take out its legs which drops the full weight on the windshield/roof of the car. [There are signs like this](https://www.flickr.com/photos/iccdude/5352586211) starting at the Lakes region in NH and going up into the White Mountains.




Yeah, big shit i can see and stay away from, small shit hiding in my bedroom is the problem here in Aus. Gonna be spring soon, huntsmen gonna be out n about. My friends mum got bitten by some white tip spider thingy, rotted most of her leg away. She survived tho. Had close calls with browns too. Luckily never got the bite.


Are you guys constantly spraying pesticides around the house perimeter?


I dunno man, your emus and kangaroos seem big enough for me to stay away lmao. Jk of course, I hope to take my butt down there sometime.


This will give you an idea of why Moose are respected: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylCfXvKmdvU Thats more than a meter of snow.


Fucks sake...growing up in Africa and Aus....lovely stuff


When we moved, my parents made sure that we had a good experience of Africa before we left, and of Australia after we immigrated. We spent a couple of months in both Africa and Australia being tourists as a way of saying goodbye and welcome respectively. Changing countries, homes, schools and friends can be tough on kids, but my parents definitely did a good job :)


Where does an elephant sit at the movie theater? Wherever he wants to.


The other one I liked as a kid (which made even *less* sense) What do you call an elephant with a gun? Whatever he wants!


And they will fuck you up so fast. I got chased by a male moose during the rut. I was in a 1/4 pickup truck on a black track and that fucker chased me for several kilometers. I was going as fast as I could but the "road" I was on was really just a couple ruts and over grown with grass. It was terrifying. The other shitty part about moose is their legs are so long that when a vehicle hits them, their body can roll up the hood and end up with hooves through the front window. I saw the aftermath if one of those. The moose legs thrashing killed both driver and passenger in the front seat. The moose walked away with a couple cuts in his legs and that was it.


I watched the episode of mythbusters where they tested when, encountering a moose, is it better to speed up, slow down, or stay the same speed when hitting the moose and the resounding result was “your best bet is to take your chances with the ditch.”


That last can happen with most deer. They've all got long spindly legs. Sometimes it's a hoof, sometimes it's the antlers


But moose are an entirely different level of danger in that scenario


They're also very fast and quiet. First time I encountered one up close here in CO I was shocked at how graceful they are. They look anything but


They'll sneak up on you!


Moose are not normally aggressive; however, they can become aggressive when they are harassed by people, dogs, and traffic, or when hungry and tired, especially in winter when they must walk through deep snow. Aka, don’t mess with moose, get away and QUICK.


> don’t mess with moose, get away and QUICK. Good advice.


I have several animals on my list of “do not take photos of - death may ensue”. Moose are pretty close to the top of that list.


That's one of the scariest things about them. It's impossible to predict what they'll do. They'll be docile as shit right up until the point that they're not and might decide to stomp this tiny annoying little creature (people)


They do give notice but it seems a lot of people don’t recognize the signs




How did you forget that female Moose have maternal murder instinct?!


My uncle is a hunter. He told us a story about how he must’ve come across an area where some younger moose were since he saw the parent notice him, then back up behind a big hill/rock. It didn’t run away, he could still partially see it, so he chucked a few rocks at it to get it to fuck off. He said the thing was trying to hide so it could charge him and that if he hadn’t noticed it, it could’ve killed him


Or it's a Wednesday.


You might remember me stomping your family, but for me it was a Wednesday. -Moose probably


Also during mating season but I think that's mostly the bulls? Idk


A cow moose is just as terrifying during calving season and just generally


>and just generally Nah a female moose with a calf is probably pretty close to being as dangerous as a bull but in general in the wild you'd want to come across a cow over a bull in 100% of cases. Bulls typically weigh well over 1000 pounds and are just generally more aggressive, cows are quite a bit smaller and not very aggressive without calves.




>Maybe adult brown bears? Reminds me of this: https://www.reddit.com/r/BeAmazed/comments/v0q26k/moose\_charges\_grizzly\_who\_killed\_one\_of\_its\_calfs/




Brown/grizzly bears hunt *a lot less* than most people believe.




When he walks outside with the dogs me makes quite a lot of ruckus. Yelling and clapping, dogs running around. I think it probably startled the moose and the moose chose to charge in what I would call "defensive aggression". Hoping to scare off the perceived threat (which worked by the way lol)


These things will challenge a giant off road logging truck at times. My dad said while he was driving logging trucks he would sit for long periods of time cause a bull missed was on the road and you couldn't do anything about it.


Moose are generally *very* territorial. This one doesn’t have antlers, which would have made it straight up deadly, but it’ll still try to head butt you or stomp you into next Wednesday. And they are very large.


No they’re definitely not territorial…..generally they don’t care that you exist. They do not, however, like dogs running around as wolves are their biggest predator and they’re reminiscent. They also tend to get a little more pissy in the winter when they have to work harder for food. Also, bull moose shed their antlers each year in winter. The moose in the video is a cow, but at the time of year this video was taken, odds are no moose would have their antler. Source: I’m Alaskan and I’ve had this happen any number of times.


if you hit a moose with your car, sometimes the moose wins


Usually the moose wins.


They are also arrogant, blind, grumpy and stupid. They will play chicken with trains and lose because they are too stupid to realize they are the chicken. I had a teacher who told us if we were chased by a moose to hide behind a big tree and wave our arms because it would ram the tree. Black bears and cougars I'm fine with, moose are scary. Oh yeah, they are also quite tasty.


Lmao no. Nothing fucks with a healthy adult moose, they don’t run from anything.


Those fuckers would challenge an allosaurus to a fight, they don't give a shit about human activity.


They’re extremely territorial and really not timid at all. I don’t know about Canada but in Norway Moose are by far the most dangerous wildlife, more so than the wolves or bears


A moose will not run. They don’t give af. Many times they are laying next to the trail and it doesn’t matter how much noise you make it’s your responsibility to keep the distance or go around them off trail. They can be aggressive.


Nope, meese are walking tanks Imagine a bear but it also can HAUL ASS


Bears haul ass, too. They are shockingly fast


It looks like it didn't manage to stop in time because of slippery surface.


But it ran *at* the guy and his dogs. Wouldn't they run *away*? I've never even seen a moose in real life, so I have no idea how they behave... but it seems weird to me that an animal that isn't a predator would run towards someone, not away.


Moose will fuck your day up in short order. They are strong, aggressive and nasty tempered. The statistics say that there are more injuries to humans from moose, than wolves and bears combined.


So I was about to respond that your comment was a little misleading because there have been no fatal wolf attacks in north America in recent memory but I decided to [do some quick research first.](https://wolf.org/wolf-info/factsvsfiction/are-wolves-dangerous-to-humans/) I was seriously surprised to see that there have been fatalities, albeit only been two in twenty years, but that's still way more than I expected. Way down on the list for sure, but contrary to the narrative that is frequently presented.


I specifically said injuries, and not fatalities for that reason. Wolves are very misaligned, and will tend to run away from humans mostly, although they are very capable of hurting a fully grown human, they don't want to. Moose on the other hand, are quite content to. So, when I say moose cause more injuries than wolves and bears combined, it isn't misleading in the slightest. Moose will fuck your shit up. Moose also cause more deaths than wolves, but that's partially because if you hit a moose in a car, you're very likely to lose there too.


Everything you are saying makes perfect sense, I was just surprised that there were literally any recent wolf fatalities. I was emotionally prepped to argue that your statement was a little misleading because I didn't think that wolves harmed people ever and I thought it was unfair that you lumped them in with bears, but I wanted to look into it a little bit first and thought the information I found was pretty interesting. My comment was more of a distant mea culpa.


It’s extremely rare. As you found out. It often is something preventable. Moose are way scarier than wolves.


A predator gets their food from prey and need to choose when it’s wise to expend their energy on defence and other things. Moose just eat plants so don’t need to conserve shit and are way bigger than you so don’t give a fuck.


A moose is a predator


...of plants?




Holy *shit*...


yeah they are the angry deer, because they are larger than a fucking tractor.


Yeah I know but I thought it was already running in this direction when the guy opened the door. Maybe scared by some passing car or even worse predator than dog. And when the moose saw human, it started breaking but on the compacted snow it was tough task to do and so it only break after it passed the staircase.


Ah, I see what you mean. I guess it's hard to stop or slow down when you're *that* big, and on ice.


Not really. A bull moose can just ruin your whole day if he feels like it. Best thing to do is not to interact with them at all.


I was relived to see the human AND the puppers escape the moose. Very good Unexpected!




Reddit moment


Growing up in Alaska we had to reroute our walk to school and I would have to skip houses on my paper route due to moose. They are pretty aggressive


Why are they so aggressiv? I mean, shouldn’t they only be aggressiv if you give them a reason ?


They’re like hippos in how aggressive they are. They protect themselves but using the aggression to fend off packs of wolves and other predators


I was thinking hippos are just super territorial and that why they are so aggressive. So just seems being aggressive is just their strategy so no one will even attempt to get near them.


They are only aggressive if you trespass on their territory. But everything is their territory in their mind.


First thing they do is steal your favorite hoodie.


Males become aggressive during mating season. Females get extremely protective of their children. Moose who are used to being fed can get mad if denied food by people. Even normal moose can get nervous especially if they didn't notice your approach or a dog is in the area which a moose thinks is a wolf.


I can see why you might think that, but they're similar to people in that regard. "Why are they so aggressive?" Basically "Fuck you, thats why."


Fortunately I've been lucky. Grew up near a lot of moose and often had encounters with them, mostly in passing. But a few times I was alone with a mom and her calf. Surprised I never once saw the wrath of an angry moose momma or the one time I was running from a hot tub to a slide in the middle of the snow. After going down the slide I stood up and turned around to a massive bull. His nose alone was the size of my face it felt like. I could smell its breath. I stood there terrified for a minute before it wondered off. My feet freezing in the snow too afraid to move. But at the end of the day I've never been rushed or attacked! Just super close calls. The funniest thing about it is I was once asked my "spirit animal " and I replied moose. Because hell I've had some serious encounters with them, and they were always so large and majestic, never scary. So I explained myself saying "because they are gentle giants" they laughed at me and I learned moose can be fucking tanks. Thanks for coming to my TED talk


A Møøse once bit my sister …


Was she Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace toothbrush???


Møøse bites kan be pretti nasti...


Everyone responsible for this thread has been sacked


He's lucky the moose didn't run in his hoose.


Moose: "why you're all gone? I just want to play..."


*Fashbacks of being the big unpopular kid...*


At first they were like "this is kinda exciting" then they were like "oh fuck, better go back inside"


I thought it was bc owner probably called for them. That said, I didn’t watch with sound (if there was any).


You’re right he called for them. There is sound.


If a moose is outside your house, that's a day off work.


For a hunter, that's a home delivery.


Welcome to Mooseburger home of the Mooseburger can I take your oorrrder?


a new bigger dog ^^


In Maine you deal with moose, same deal. No other animal has such a foul temper. Bear for the most part don’t do stupid things as long as you don’t mess with their food or young’uns. I saw a moose total a parked car b/c it didn’t want it’s picture taken.


You know I was offended for a moment, but yeah no this is where I live in fairbanks. shits like this all year


Lived right by there in North Pole. Literally had to shovel a full garbage can of moose poop after the snow melted and there were many close moose calls. Idk why they liked using our backyard as a bathroom so much.


Those are well trained dogs.


Nope, Nope, Nope. 3 votes Nope.


He's just asking for some hugs 🤗


Everybodys goin home. The king has arrived


That's what happens when you don't have a white lady with you. Signed, A white lady. 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️Come ere lil moose 🥰 I will kiss him and love him and squeeze him and hug him... ^(Look at him kicking me. It's basically their way of hugging!)


The moose is enraged that the Northern Exposure reboot got canceled.


yes this is indeed normal in Alaska