Man jumps into fountain and instantly regrets it
By - bisector_babu
I saw this on a friends Instagram about a week ago and it included an aftermath photo at the end of the video. He had a 2-3 inch gaping wound right next to his ass hole basically destroying his perineum/taint. Literally tore himself a new ass hole.
Double the ass holes, double the pooping speed. Profit?
Scientists hate him
the line behind him at the festival port'o'potties love him
Hold on there, he might be done within 5 seconds but the aftermath ain't pretty
Those festivaltoilets are never pretty anyway lmao
Japanese toilet designer hates him too.
Fiber HATES him.
9 out of 10 dentist approve of this method
Polls show 7 out of 8 people enjoy gang rape.
Doctors love him 🤑
Not in England... For them it's just another shitty arsehole they need to patch up after getting injured when drinking
Anal loving couples love him!
Toilet paper companies love him
Force (N) = Mass x Asshole
He can take a dump without having to make his boyfriend stop.
thats enough reddit for one day
Thanks for the laugh u/uptwolait
This comment right here, officer.
Double the pleasure 😈
Double the pleasure Double the fun found out that two arseholes are better than one
Heard about a guy, who when he went into the ER for either a PCP or meth overdose, got a catheter put in wrong. Some how some bodily tubes got pierced and conjoined to the point his scrotum was filling with flatulence and semen would come out his rectum.
Edit: [Here's a link, he had the condition for 2 years](https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/man-ejaculates-out-of-his-anus-for-two-years-before-seeking-help/)
“and passing a "substantial amount" of urine and semen from his rectum (there isn't even a fancy medical word for it, that's how rare this is).”
it's funny i saw this vid this morning in r/makemesuffer. let me grab the post for the people who wanna see the aftermath
I watched that and I was like “this is the same exact video what a waste of my time….. AGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!”
Nope... this link is going to stay blue for me.
I'll save you a click, it shows a photo of the guy's groin taint area (idk what to call it) he literally tore himself a new butthole between his actual butthole and ballsack
The area between your butthole and penis is called a taint.
no it taint.
In the uk we know it as a gooch
I've always called it the gooch
Or the Graham, in cockney.
Or if it’s between your twat and your shitter, it’s called a Twitter
Can I ask how? Were there some fountain heads in the water he landed on?
Probably or broken bottle. People throw all kind of trash in these so could be anything really
It could have been a jar...
Another posts mention’s jet nozzles under the surface.
He's saved man, his balls might have been crushed
Listen to this guy. I did!
Me too. Now I hate gaping even more. I was expecting more tearing though tbf
I definitely regret the last minute of my life.
Oh my god...
To be fair, he's lucky he didn't impale his balls
It's times like these that I realize how desensitized I am to everything like this..
Maybe I should've gone into a medical profession
Fuck me why the fuck did I click on that god damn it fuck
I regret clicking that
Nope. Thank you.
FUCK. WHY. WHY did I click it.
I’d be just as worried about infection from the fountain water getting into the wound. Hopefully there was enough alcohol in his system to fix that, apparently
One night after a hard night of drinking, some idiot friends of mine decided to jump off the local marina dock into the bay. The water was balls cold even though it was a hot summer night. They all got sicker than fuck within 24 hours and got fevers of 102-105° Turns out all the live-aboards and houseboats flush their shitters straight into the bay. They pretty much went for a dunk in raw sewage.
that reminds me on a memory.
When I was young my bro and friends and I would sneak out and run around after midnight and have fun.
We decided one day to skinny dip in the neighborhood pool.
We all went for a dip, almost pitch black. My bro and I got out and left with two buddies in the pool. I thought I saw a bunch of leaves and stuff floating around in the water. I shined my flashlight on it.
And it was a big turd. Just floating around in the pool. My friend poked it to confirm.
I used to swim in ponds and lakes all the time as a kid. Now that I've become an adult. Nope nope nope nope. Brain eating amoebas, parasites, bacteria etc. etc. Screw that.
Eugh. See this why I don’t get why so many people act like it’s not a big deal to go swimming in any body of water around. It’s not romantic or nostalgic to swim in a disgusting, garbage- and shit-filled pool of water with who knows what kind of parasites hanging out in it. Just because you don’t see plastic water bottles and bags floating on top like scum doesn’t mean the water is safe to swim in or get into your orifices.
Swmmer’s Itch is pretty nasty. I got it once as a kid when I fell into a duck pond.
That's also why a lot of things in the water have fur or protection. We only have plain skin
Right? Most of these fountains smell like straight up sewage. I never understood how people can be eating nice food right next to one of these nasty, smelly things.
I'm sorry but what fucking fountains are you going to that smell like sewage?!? I have never ever been near a fountain that smelled bad and I've been to fountains across America and parts of Europe. The only thing even close is that some fountains are chlorinated and that's slightly noticable.
Los Angeles, CA
I’m referring to the shopping centers that have the stupid crappy fountain that looks nasty after a couple years of operation
Say no more fam
Are you sure it was the fountain that smelled like sewage and not just L.A.?
I think they've accidentally booked and been on a coach tour for weirdos who are into sewage farms or something.
Jesus christ I watched it again after reading this and physically recoiled when he landed.
Dude that must have hurt so fucking bad.
What did he land on?
My guess is a vertical metal fountain pipe hiding just below the surface, something that shoots a jet of water upward when the fountain is on.
Probably punctured his intestine as well. Welcome colostomy bag.
Correct, the taint is the link between the scrotum and anus.
Wrong. Taint isn't even a real word, it's t'isnt.
The women I date don't have a scrotum. Are you British?
Well its true you don't see many Welsh women. And in fact, they're so alike in voice and appearance that they're often mistaken for Welsh men.
I happen to be part Welsh and everyone knows we prefer sheep to women, but they still don't have scrotums.
I thought the Welsh just sprang up out of the earth.
I'm British and I know this body part as "The scruttocks"
Nah, Link is usually carrying a sword and wearing a green outfit - I don’t think that’s him in the video
So he's the one getting shit on the outside of the torlet.
Omfgggg. This guy is in for a horrendous recovery.
My nephew who is 13, he was playing in his yard catching a football and fell backwards onto an MX bike that was laying in the grass… he fell directly onto the serrated metal pedal and it caused a giant gash/hole in nearly the same spot as this guy… essentially his entire taint was ripped open. Doctors said had it been just a mm in another direction and he would have lost all ability to have children in the future.
My nephew has finally fully recovered since 1 month ago. From the time of initial injury until 1 month ago was 1 years time 💀 the hole was about 1-2 inches deep and for whatever reason, the wound refused to heal and it was so deep that it needed to be open and heal on a timed based, one layer after the other… it could not just be stitched up and I honestly still am not sure why that was the case. But since it was an open wound, that meant they had to physically wash his entire bottom half every time he went to the bathroom, due to bacteria and such possibly getting into the wound. They did this task of washing, bagging and bandaging 2-3 times per day for a year! Finally, they started using some type of silver medication cream that eventually got it to start healing and closing up after 6 months of use. The initial surgeons seemed baffled that he wasn’t healing on his own, given he was so young. Once he got into a good wound clinic though, it still took around 6 months before he healed fully.
Thank goodness it’s over now but holy shit, this guy is in for it if his injury is anything close to my nephews. Guard your taints at all costs everyone!! Not to be fucked with.
Your poor fucking nephew, I'm sorry he had to endure a year of that. Sounds like a real trooper.
I know of a kid with a similar injury. They gave him a colostomy until it had healed.
for real that seems like the most reasonable option.
I feel your nephew's pain, but just a bit differently. I had a huge boil on one of my ass cheeks, about the size of an apple. Thankfully it was in the heart of the cheek and it burst as I was standing in the emergency room. Blood and puss running down my leg. Anyway, a boil is like a HUGE pimple. Just a massive infection, and that being the case they open it nice and wide and clean it all out, then they pack it in gauze. That cannot stitch an infected wound closed as it would simply get worse and worse. Every day my sister would unpack the gauze, clean the wound and repack it. Painful as shit but eventually it closes on its own. My sister was a fucking saint during that time.
Oof I’m sorry, that sounds awful. My friend had a cyst on her butt cheek too but thankfully she had it drained without complication before it got too big. May i ask how yours got to that point? And you really do have an awesome sister!
It was just something that happened. Pimple on ass...wash as well as you can and then it just gets bigger, to the point that it's painful to touch. I was working in a warehouse at the time and I was limping like crazy and my buddies would yell in unison, Pop It Bob, Pop It Bob.....anyway. One day I'm sweating like a mofo cause of the pain and I leave work. Head to the ER and tell the receptionist what's going on and she tells me to take a seat, they'll get right to me. No shit. I tell her, "Did you hear what's wrong with me? Take a seat???" Anyway, while standing there it popped and the rest is history.
Yes, sir; please sit on this bare chair many have and will sit in, and share your possible MRSA or whatever your juicy boil filling is.
Sorry I just have a fear of it
This physically hurt to read.
Couldn't read past the serrated metal pedal :'(
Wow, what a strong kid. I don't know if I could have handled a year of that. Glad they're doing better.
Given that this fountain is at foot level with no barrier to keep all the gunk out I’m willing to bet this guy is going to have an absolutely horrific infection
There's a whole giant post by a surgeon about how these things never heal. [https://np.reddit.com/r/Whatcouldgowrong/comments/8w5kjo/shooting\_fireworks\_out\_of\_your\_butt\_wcgw/e1tbd94/](https://np.reddit.com/r/Whatcouldgowrong/comments/8w5kjo/shooting_fireworks_out_of_your_butt_wcgw/e1tbd94/)
"This could be a worst case scenario if the burn is deep and distributed far enough.
Former 6 year surgical RN now in a different specialty. I have seen
some fucked up assholes. You're in for a long, painful recovery
following a serious wound or burn near your "Peri area" (perineum being
your crack to crack, ball to ass, taint, grundle, etc. region). Think of
how often you visit the bathroom and then imagine you have a third
degree burn down there. It's devastating every single time.
If really bad, he will be in the burn unit and levels of care to
follow for months if not north of a year. Job, relationships, and any
semblance of normalcy immediately disrupted. Burns are monumentally
painful, and he will be sedated heavily until substantial healing
begins. He will develop tolerance and possibly become addicted to the
potent opiates, but they're the best way we currently know how to cope
with that level of pain short of a spinal or other nerve block which are
also options. Medicating at that level can also be very expensive, I've
seen ICU patients with over $5,000 a day in IV medication costs alone, 7
days a week, not including any other charges for the room, MDs, nursing
and ancillary staff, and supplies for starters.
Staff may have to place a fecal catheter less than a foot up his anus
to drain his feces so they don't contaminate his burn wounds. His poo
goes into a bag and has to be emptied and measured as they'll give him
laxatives to loosen and prevent clogged drain lines. Fecal contamination
generally results in rapid infection, and peri wounds are at an extreme
risk for MRSA and flesh eating bacterial infections. I've seen entire
legs removed to combat severe peri, groin, or hip joint infections. This
is usually following weeks or months of previous failed treatments, but
still. We can work wonders until we can't, and even then there's always
If he needs skin grafts, they can be sourced from a human or large
mammal cadaver like cows and pigs. I've also seen skin grafts harvested
from the front of a patient's thigh and reattached to the burn area
(abdomen). The grafts aren't actually solid strips of skin, rather, they
are more like tight lace with repeated spaces between skin making the
graft look like a Kleenex with several hundred small oval shaped holes
in it. These spaces make it easier for the graft adhere and conform to
the wound bed.
The surgeon uses a specialized skin shaver that's handheld, covered
in a sterile barrier with single use blades, very similar to deli
counter meat slicers but on a smaller more specialized scale. So not
only did the patient have a burn on her abdomen, but a very unusual,
superficial wound on her right thigh that looked liked like we had
lightly crushed her leg with a cheese grater. The primary benefit of
harvesting skin grafts from ourselves is we (usually) don't reject
ourselves, and rejection is the biggest complication accompanying
foreign body transplants.
He'll also need to lay on his stomach throughout this whole ordeal
due to the location of the burn and subsequent wound. Imagine months
lying on your stomach in 6-11/10 pain. Moving your leg a little too much
could literally split your brand new ball sack skin. It's a personal
living hell. Diet will also be bland as fuck when he's actually allowed
to eat again. Social and professional life obliterated. This could set
him back years and give him decades of PTSD.
He should consider himself "good" when he can sit and shit without
bleeding out or collapsing in pain. On the even shittier side, this, or
whatever transpires for this poor guy could easily kill or disable him
for life. This could go in a thousand directions for him, and 880 of
them result in the quality of his life being worse than it was prior to
If his burn is bad enough and he really does require months of care,
his bill from arrival at the ER to discharge from outpatient rehab and
specialty care will easily exceed 1 million in the US. Two million would
push it, but also not shock me either. I'd bet on 1.2-1.5M if he's
inpatient for 2.5 months and receiving follow up care for 1.5 years.
Overall, don't fucking do this. If you drink around fireworks you need a
sober or not shitty friend who won't let you do this kind of stupid
shit. We can all learn from these videos even though were not the
dumbass with the firework up his ass."
That is called granulated healing, I had to go through something similar when I had a pilonidal sinus surgery. Essentially then skin in those areas has good blood supply but a lot of movement. This means that is you allow it to just heal then the skin grows back and you've left with a nice little pocket for infection. To combat this you pack the wound to remain open and have to let it heal from the bottom (no pun intended) up. It's a long, brutal and uncomfortable journey in many ways.
Glad to hear he got through ok.
Jesus christ thats horrible, poor kid
Hearing something like that happen to a kid is awful. What a terrible time for him. Glad to see he’s getting better
My sister was climbing up an old wooden ladder which broke and the splintered leg went right up into her. 10 hours of surgery and a lot of visits back. Went up so far she lost the ability to have children. Took 5 years to get a payout from the lawsuit
Those deep wounds are mother fuckers. They are really hard to keep clean and get them to heal properly. You have to pack them with gauze and take out the gauze a few times a day.
What happened to cut him so badly?
I'm guessing it was a nozzle that does the fountaining of the water in the fountain. It doesn't magically ejaculate from the surface.
You know of imagulate ejection? A true believer.
Imagulate you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time.
In fountains they put lights and all so maybe one hits in his ass
Apparently this gashed him from scrotum to anus according to another poster. So not IN his ass, but close.
Obliterated his gooch.
At the bottom for colors
In this ass
He landed on a box of Captain Crunch.
Don't make fun of my sugar coated glass shards. >:(
My mouth is bleeding but it taste so GOOD
Probably solid brass tubing sticking out of the floor which went into his ass
Apparently he got like a 3 inch puncture wound in his ass
Wacked his sack & balls?
Fountains have lights and water spigots in them... He landed on one and put a huge hole in his ass right next to his actual asshole...
Permanent damage to his anal sphincter
He had a running start. The speed at which his ass caught the bottom of the fountain, and the intertia of the rest of his body wanting to continue to move forward, allegedly cause a tear along his taint.
This is in Watford town centre. There are a lot of 2-3 inch pipes sticking up from the bottom used to shoot jets up for the fountain.
Loads of people jump in this, when you see it empty it looks like a torture device.
I entered a fountain once, slowly, dived around, so many tubes and metal structures. I read the title and instantly knew shit was going to get real :(
Right, idk how this drunk bastard could not know this. Pretty much any fountain is full of metalwork, and they're only a couple of feet deep. You can usually see it from the surface.
Maaaan... As a former water tech for pools, spas, water features, etc. Do not jump into fountains. Quite often the nipples used to create those vertical jets you see are brass and they will cut you very deeply. Especially if you jump and land on top of one like this guy here.
Edit: Thank you for the award!
Also lights and things...
In the other vid they show the giant hole the dude put in his ass...
Right next to the hole that's supposed to be there...
Permanent sphincter damage
I am actually very glad I did not see that. Lol
Remember that video a few years back where that dude jumped into the fountain, broke the lighting fixture and electrocuted to death?
A sphincter says what?
That's gonna be some gentle wiping for the foreseeable future.
The general rule for people who like to jump into water (off of cliffs, etc.) is to scout out your landing spot so you know what is down there. Apparently fountain jumpers need to adopt this routine.
This. That's always the rule. Test the depth of the water and ensure that the landing spot is suitable. This is a fountain. Why he jumped in like he was jumping into a swimming pool is beyond me
They’re called nipples?
Yes, that's a very common term used correctly here.
"You can pretty much milk anything with nipples."
I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?
Not to mention the absolute mountain of various nasty bacteria
That and there are a few videos of people electrocuted by fountains.
Watford! I have fallen in that pond a couple of times after a night out
Did your anus also spontaneously explode?
Looking for this comment. Fellow Watfordian here. This video was doing the rounds on numerous friends Whatsapps. Always interesting when those kind of things pop up on Reddit.
When the pillars (if you called call them that) where there years ago I used to hop across them!
I swear that pond is like 90% piss too
I heard that Watford FC fans jump in here regularly after the club achieves something significant. I imagine when they won promotion to the premier league a whole bunch of people ended up in there.
Knew it was Watford when I saw the wenzels
That’s gonna be a solid infection.
and a new infection every time he passes solids
The aftermath photo is fucking gross.
can someone describe what it looks like because i seriously don't wanna click on it..
I have in my photos on one of my WhatsApp group. Ill post it on the group if I’m allowed.
Thank you for not posting it
He popped his butt hymen
Aftermath photo included:
Right in the ass
No anal for him for a while.
Be positive, now he can have twice the anal
Fountain: sorry bro; I’d have been gentler if I knew this was your first time
Virgin no more
This happened in Watford, he landed on a metal stub roughy 1.5 - 2 inches thick and around 5/6 inches tall, blunt end ...which was on a raised concrete circle. Isn’t the first time someone has jumped into this ‘pond’ and injured themselves badly. Even saw some police officers laughing and pointing at their asses whilst looking into the water, a few days after this happened.
Free prostate exam!!
That’s a lot of blood, he is going to the hospital lol
oh damn didnt see all that blood.
wtf happened. he rip his ass hole?
There's a video with the aftermath. Basically he tore a golf ball sized hole in his taint.
Million to one shot Doc, million to one.
Probly a nice gash on his ass for his troubles 🤣🤣🤟 the scar will remind him
This is a shorter version of the video. The original version showed a pic of the bloody hole in his taint.
Thanx I’ll take your word for it
I live in this town haha good ol' Watford
The amount of blood + the site of the wound + the dirty water means he very well may die of sepsis.
Bowel wounds are deadly.
youd think he would at least... check out where he was gonna land.
but i guess if you had that much awareness you wouldnt be stupid or drunk enough to do this in the first place.
even without the pipes and stuff... it wasnt even deep enough to do a canon ball.
Welp, this is enough Internet today.
Hey, at least he got on the internet.
a kid i knew growing up did the same thing in h.s. at a local park. partially severed his femoral, emt's got their in time. he spent nearly 3 months in the hospital with a blood infection and in a coma for most of it.
He’ll be shitting In a bag for the rest of his life, all for the lolz. So many stupid fucking people on this planet.
This gave me flashbacks to rejected cartoons
Did he just tear himself a new asshole?
I need someone to erase this out of my mind
Look before you leap
Lots of references to a followup picture on the thread. Has anyone got a link?
Linked elsewhere: https://www.reddit.com/r/MakeMeSuffer/comments/q7k3w9/how_to_get_another_butthole_quickly/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
I first thought Win Stupid Prize was because it turned out its shallow, then i seen blood...
It's actually pretty reckless to jump into any fountain that uses water pumps / ligthing. There is ALWAYS A chance that the water could be conducting electricity and you and anyone who tried to jump in after you would drown. The change is very slim since if the fountains are constructed properly they will be well sealed and will include ground faults to prevent electrocution but I still wouldn't chance it.
2 in the stink, 2 in the stink… live long and prosper 🖖
This ishow men get their periods.
“Oh no our asshole…it’s broken!”
rectum ? damn near killed him!
Mothafucka. Fuck this fucking world
Watford, England. Grew up here. This water feature is right by all the clubs and bars. Drunk people regularly jump or fall in.
How did he cut his entire leg just by jumping into that shallow pool?
How did that happen though?
Always look before you leap!
Just watching this video gives me pain
POOP OR BLOOD