T O P

U need to write florida man+ birthday

U need to write florida man+ birthday

MedicatedAxeBot

Dank[.](https://i.imgur.com/3bQtuMO.png) --- *i am a bot. please stop trying to argue with me. you look like an idiot. [join our discord](https://discord.gg/dankmemes).*


CattaChonk

Florida man Dresses as woman, buys puppy with stolen card


NFG_Shoarma

This is pretty wholesome actually


moldycrystals

Heres mine :/ https://www.foxnews.com/us/florida-suspect-22-allegedly-attacked-mother-with-sausages


KER1S

Also wholesome.


meowmeowimacow05

Florida man caught with over 200 illegal lobsters


Dragonuniverse09

Florida man robs store dressed as spiderman


pancake-sfryingpan

Florida man jumps from hotel, dies after parachute failure


FishInMeArse

Florida man arrested after offering a female cop a hamburger in exchange for oral sex


Googlefisch

Florida man arrested for allegedly assaulting girlfriend while dressed as dinosaur


trap_user

Florida man masturbating on a walmart toy


santobaloto

is your birthday november 14? because mine is


CattaChonk

Ye lol


santobaloto

cool, our birthday is coming soon


KLGamer7084

Happy birthday


Lyadh93

Florida Man Dies In Explosion After Attempting To Microwave A Microwave


TheFenceHimself

What date?


Lyadh93

3rd july


Shovels93

July 13th Florida man with no arms charged with stabbing a Chicago tourist.


guusgeelen

July 16th Florida man indicted in fatal dog poop fight


[deleted]

May 29th, Florida man arrested, accused of hitting mom on the head with corn cob


undignified_cabbage

The black night always triumphs!


notAnAmericanGirl7

Oh cool, we have the same birthday


PostironiaMann

Yay I found you


No-Suspect7843

Hey we share birthday! I respect that man, he did something I always wanted to see happen but am too wise to do


DuneWulff

So… it wasn’t a good idea to microwave that


Username_Taken_65

That was a hoax


LalaGeeko

Jesus Christ... On August 18, 2019, a Florida man was arrested for performing a botched castration on another man. The man had set up an impromptu operating room in his Highland county home. He had acquired his own medical equipment, some painkillers, and of course, a camera for the surgery. The men had met on a website for men with a eunuch fetish. Police responded to the scene after a 911 hang-up call. Upon arrival, the amateur surgeon greeted police at the door and filled them in on the botched surgery When police entered the house, they found a bleeding man wrapped in a towel with a container close by containing the injured man’s testicles. The victim was immediately taken to the hospital and survived the surgery. However, the surgeon was taken to the local jail. In a shocking revelation, it was revealed that this was not his first time. He had performed a castration in a hotel which resulted in a hospitalization. Unfortunately, the incident was never reported to the police.


TheFenceHimself

Man.. i have the same on August 20th along with florida man pulling a knife to rob another man for a snickers. I guess it was a big story if it was on for multiple days


DoomCreat0r

Florida man kills nephew for hogging bathroom…


lIlllIllllIllllllllI

When you have a really good comment then you see someone has already put it


TheStinkyRebel

Jesus, I read that as botched circumcision and thought how do you fuck up so badly you chopped his balls off!! It's too early for this shit.


FarKiD-

I feel pain reading this


gotmylearnerspermit

Heyy we have the same birthday!


sortedshit

Same as mine. I made a comment too


LessOfAnEndie

I went to google using my birth date, saw the story and was like... wait that sounded like the comment I just read. Aug 18th gang.


shambb19

I have one day after you and it’s a man was arrested for shoving 50 dollar steaks down his pants and running away


IchthyoSapienCaul

August was a bad month, man. August 16: Florida Man suspected of murdering couple was caught biting victim's face off.


Fern-ando

He literally ate dick.


Lukieboy222

Florida man finds ww2 grenade, tosses it in trunk, brings it to tacobell. (28 jan)


Brodbod_

YO WTF, IM 26TH OF JAN AND I GOT Florida Man Finds WWII Grenade and Brings It to Taco Bell


GamesRoz26

i quess he found another one


MiniTheGreat

19th jan: Florida man orders burrito at bank drive-through, thinks it's Taco Bell. lots of taco bell that month it seems.


MrVirginForever

Ayyy, Jan 28th


thepandabro

April 18 Florida man sues for right to marry his laptop


that_one_weeaboo_

april 18th a naked florida man in a public parking lot kicking trash cans and screaming " I only had one bear "


An_internet_rat

why does he need more bears


BEMOCODE

B e r


prosteDeni

April 26 Meth smoking Florida man attacks mattress in jealous rage


iggykoopa31

Florida man crashes into building at 80mph trying to go "back to the future"


PeekaB00_

What an idiot, you're supposed to go 88 mph, not 80


volkz_z

This is why he didn't make it.


Grandzelda

complete fool


AverageGooseEnjoyer

Naked florida man arrested with crossbow who claimed aliens were after him


ragnarmoh

Ayo my birthday twin December 12th


Bobajunior11

Ah sad. I’m close to it haha. The 10th for me ( Florida man accused of ditching boy outside of police station because he thought he was gay )


wet-shoes-with-mold

Same, December 12th gang!


Galactic_Nuclear_Ape

Florida man robs Wendy's after grilling burger


gecko579

Wow same birthday


Galactic_Nuclear_Ape

Birthday Bros!


69thhHokage

"Hamburglar" bros!


LeKittyCaptain

Florida man suspected of murdering couple was caught biting victim's face off.


Arin_Duv

August 16?


LeKittyCaptain

Yes indeed!


megadogia

Same Birthday


Username-blank

Florida Man dry humps olaf toy


An_internet_rat

i am concerned


shpnlkmr17

Same birthday


Shahar-2210

October 22?


bulipottu

Florida man climbs building, dives into pond, wrestles with crocodile, and survives


Burger_Sandwich

New assassins creed plot


Marbles_TDS

florida man arrested after trying to pull over undercover detective


Rupertii

Florida man accused of forcing small alligator to drink beer


EscanorLionSinofPrid

Wrf that is my birthday lol


memeplanetron

Epic


coloradolegends

This town ain't big enough for the 3 of us.


memeplanetron

Then we must fight till the death


VanguardDeezNuts

"Florida men fight to death after discovering they share the same birthday"


memes4lifeboi

Omg same!!!


OmegaDad618

Florida man [hides $1k from deputies in rectum](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.abc15.com/news/national/florida-man-stuffs-over-1000-in-rectum-in-attempt-to-hide-it-from-deputies%3f_amp=true)


meowkittycat93

it was probably 10, 100 dollar bills… but it’s be crazy if it was any amount of smaller bills lol


imirui

1090 $1 bills in ass


Ben-Stoltz

florida man accused of masturbating in walmart toy section


UnKnown4KPlayer

Excuse me what?


plock-me

I think he said a florida man was accused of masturbating in walmart toy section


_undefined_user

Florida Man Trying To Kill “Demons” Tormenting Him Went On Sledgehammer Spree


Lusask

I just read the article for my Florida man and I found out we have the same one. Feb 17th


DyingShogun

"Florida Man Bites His Brother’s Penis Off After He Walks In On His Brother Having Sex With His Cousin On His Favorite Dragon Ball Z Blanket"


genasugelan

What fuck, lol. Why is this one so low?


DyingShogun

Rigged


Afterburn47

Lol. That is really really random.


thndrbrd87

We really needed the dragon ball z part. If it was just a blanket, well, fuck that guy. But shit it’s a DBZ blanket? Understandable have a great day


notAnAmericanGirl7

I typed in and this popped up: “Florida Man Dies In Explosion After Attempting To Microwave A Microwave”


kamiskapi

he tried to invent picowave


RefrigeratorFlimsy54

Florida Man Allegedly Stole Pool Floats From Homes to ‘Stop Himself From Raping Women': Monnin reportedly told investigators that he performs sex acts on the floats “instead of raping women.”  Charming


Gamebobbel

Police handing out pool floats all over world: Well boys we did it, rape is no more.


bourbine

Florida man kicked chicken like 'a field goal,’ deputies say


Gapple-

December 18, florida man tries to pay for fast food with bag of weed


Mrfrenchfryboi

Florida man offered to pay officer with hamburger for oral sex


FlufferriehLaptop

The Negotiator


Puzzleheaded-Let5940

Florida man throws samurai sword at sheriff's deputies


saIami69

Florida man arrested for placing feces at synagogue, yelling ‘Jews must die’ 25th may....


ray0fsun24

I got a naked Florida man chased a couple around chick fill a


suvannixb

same


stinger_1001

11th February Florida man arrested after spraying people with fire extinguisher at Walmart. It's always Walmart isn't it ?


I_do_not_suck_toes

It's often wendys


AlexJamesAce

Florida man dressed as Fred Flintstone, pulled over for driving footmobile.


Jerrfff

Florida man turns himself in for killing imaginary friend


EnderKnight511

Florida man goes on a beer run, with alligator in hand


Mikaeru_GD

Florida man charged with battery after slapping girlfriend with cheeseburger


Notaneverydayllama

Mine got slapped with pizza


Da_Yakz

Florida man finds bright green iguana in toilet, calls 911 And Florida man arrested for fatal stabbing of grandfather after pulling human ears from pocket during questioning by deputies


TheOOFliabilty

Shit just went from 0 to 100 real fucking quick


rizdanial

Florida Man Accused of Forcing Small Alligator to Drink Beer Authorities say they've arrested a Florida man who provoked a small alligator into biting his arm and poured beer into the animal's mouth. 10 October 2019


imhereforthememes_42

I got the same result for Oct 13th


AYN23118

Florida man tries to pawn his baby.


amitesh863

10th May?


wassupfckrs

Florida Man with no arm charged with stabbing man with scissors. - '11th july'


Gamebobbel

Who'd think, that in the end, he was armed.


Victorinox_007

​ Florida man accused of setting his own truck on fire to give deputies ‘something to do’


prosteDeni

Bruh ☠️☠️ What boredom does to a mf


genasugelan

Chaotic neutral


napraen

Florida man allegedly slaps woman with a bowl of chilli


Particular_Way_7836

Florida man afraid of vampires, burns down his house


LyingSage1827

Florida man arrested for beating and throwing chair at child in doughnut dispute


FFFFFFF6969

I searched for March and this one came,so it's some date in March


LordVassogo

Definitely a great way to end today.


old_man_spinosaurus

Florida man wearing crocs jumps into crocodile pond


gamesrebel123

1st June Accidentally shot woman to death during foreplay *Kinky*


_sussusamogus_

Florida man shot dead after asking if bulletproof vest still worked


prosteDeni

I guess it didn't


nDRIUZ

#Florida man threatens to destroy everyone... with army of turtles Cool


Obdeks01

Florida man accused of attacking mom when she wouldn't dress his mannequin (30th March) I mean... why mannequin...


WhyIsEverythingACat

florida man thought he stole opioids, got laxatives instead


WhyIsEverythingACat

jan 28 btw


JeBoyLilFlex

Florida man who marooned himself on lake fountain saying he took too much MDMA and wanted to be with the swans. Perfection


Slight_Atmosphere772

Florida man drove down major road with lawnmover and strip teased at a japanese restoraunt


here4thef00dstuffs

"Florida man who marooned himself on lake fountain says he took too much MDMA and wanted to be with the swans"


Ericci123xX

Florida Man Accused Of Stabbing Woman Over Underdone Potato


Laytonmario

Florida man arrested for having sex with stuffed 'Olaf' at Target


riottasu

Florida man threathens cops with kindness


JuicyPomPom

Knife named kindness?


_mrx_8

05.20.2017 Florida Men with 20 tattoos wearing pink bra arrested


Ryanc203

Florida man died after trying to microwave a microwave. That’s a Florida headline if I’ve ever read one.


edomane

Ok, this just makes me mad: (source: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/cocoa-florida-jamel-dunn-drowning-recorded-group-teens-police/) COCOA, Fla. -- Authorities in Florida say a group of teens watched and laughed as a man drowned in a retention pond last week. Jamel Dunn drowned in a retention pond in the city of Cocoa on July 9. Cocoa police say they later discovered a group of teens between the ages of 14 and 16 recorded the 32-year-old's drowning on video, CBS Orlando affiliate WKMG-TV reports. The video was released by the state attorney's office Thursday and audio was published by Florida Today. The teens can be heard laughing at Dunn. "F------ junkie, get out the water, you gonna die," one said. "Ain't nobody's going to help you, you dumb b----," another said. "You should've never got in there." Police said that Dunn walked into the pond by himself, WKMG-TV reports. Police aren't sure if he was suicidal but said he just had an argument with his fiancee. Dunn's body wasn't found until July 14. Police identified and interviewed the five teens involved. Cocoa Police Chief Mike Cataloupe calls their actions "utterly inhumane and cruel," but says criminal charges won't be filed because state law doesn't require people to help or call 911 when someone's in distress. "Short of them pushing him in the water, we don't have anything that can hold them accountable on a criminal level," Cocoa police spokeswoman Yvonne Martinez told WKMG-TV. The teens got their biggest laughs when Dunn was screaming and went under, WKMG-TV reports. "This man ain't getting back up," one said. "Yeah, he dead, but he gone," another said. "RIP." Martinez said it was "unfortunate" that authorities can't charge the teens. "For these kids to just do what they did and video and be laughing about it," she said, "it's just mind-boggling."


Adventurous-Back-975

Lmao drunken Florida man kicked out of library told cops he was Jason Bourne on the 1st of may


Dick_In_Toaster_420

Florida man gets head-butted, knocked out by alligator June 7


AejiGamez

Florida Man arrested, caught on camera using Samurai Sword to fight wheelbarrow


Lusask

Florida man causes thousands of dollars in property damage. A bit lame tbh


V_H_M_C

Floria man said god told him to drive a Ferrari 360 off pier


APEX_2912

Florida man accused of setting his own truck on fire to give deputies ‘something to do’


Pacpav

Florida Man Shoveling Spaghetti in Mouth Arrested at Olive Garden - NBC Miami


CadeTheFrogger

Florida man attacks gas station clerk with hot dogs.


lazycatboi123

'Florida man robs store dressed as spiderman'


No-Cup4358

Florida man arrested for throwing pizza at father after finding out his dad helped birth him


DreadPhantom127

Florida man with ‘half a head’ arrested on attempted murder. The fun part is where you can go and figure out what day it is.


i_like_fish_asses

Florida man says 3 syringes found in his rectum aren't his


lvl999shaggy

Florida man drives bike down I95 barefoot whilst steering the bike with his feet...


Mightysam2010

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.foxnews.com/us/florida-man-arrested-for-throwing-alligator-through-drive-thru-window.amp Excuse me?


TheNetherPaladin

“Florida man arrested after pelting girlfriend with McDonald’s sweet and sour packets”


jrxynn

Florida man tries to pay his Macdonald's meal with weed


-_B_A_S_S_-

Florida man threatens to kill someone with kindness wtf


Johnniethesquid

Florida Man, 62, strips, performs "strange dance" at McDonald's. Then tries to impregnate railing


zaphrode

Central Florida Man Broke Into Home, Fell Asleep on Couch While High on Meth: Police


PostironiaMann

Florida man dies in explosion after attempting to microwave a microwave


Rabuz

"Florida man dresses as a woman and buys puppy from pet store" Ok that is some quality florida man.


Nab33l786

Florida man stabs woman with fork over undercooked potato


Hairy_Unit

Florida man arrested after dining on spaghetti with his bare hands


NFG_Shoarma

Florida Man Arrested For Botched Castration On Another Man He Met On Eunuch Fetish Website (aug 20)


ethnic23

January 29 Florida man sentenced to jail and moral therapy for attacking a minion


An1mat0r

January 21 - A Florida man known as “The Monkey Whisperer” is accused of illegally selling primates.


thuyp1

Fuck me [florida man aug 10](https://friendlyatheist.patheos.com/2019/08/10/florida-man-arrested-for-dui-says-he-smoked-pot-to-prepare-for-jesus-to-return/) this really works


BogdiMLV

Florida man arrested after spraying people with fire extinguisher at Walmart ( 11 feb )


An3zz

[Florida man downloads child porn as a 'boredom killer', deputies say](https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/04/01/florida-man-downloaded-child-porn-as-a-boredom-killer-deputies-say/%3foutputType=amp)


Wandereich

Florida man arrested for allegedly throwing corn cob at mom's head Florida man wouldn’t flush. That’s when the police got involved Last but not least: Florida man calls 911 to brag after fleeing traffic stop


epiczacko

August 5th - Florida man who carried alligator into the liquor store doesn't remember the incident


MarcusWongTszHo

Bible thumping: Florida man accused of throwing holy book at deputy


RagnarGudmunds

Florida man drunk and naked allegedly set house on fire in failed cookie baking attempt


G2Eneko

Florida man slapped girlfriend with cheeseburger, kicked her


adolfismybae

Florida man accused of chewing another mans face


demonicsquash

“Nude Florida man burns himself while dancing in flames, chanting 'gibberish” well that sure is interesting


HenriJayy

"Florida man charged with stabbing a woman with a fork over underdone potato" Fucking hell, Gordon's gone off the rails


InfiniteAFK

Florida man offered to pay officer with hamburger for oral sex. 1st December.


CuddlyRainbow

Florida man suspected of smelling woman's feet at library leads police on scooter chase


Altruistic-Fact8592

Florida man caught on camera licking doorbell


pigabyte1

Florida man accused of jumping naked on neighbor’s trampoline before breaking into home


NavySEALW7735

Florida man slapped with Big Mouthed Billy Bass


Jonas_er_en_fyr

I tried this once. Something about a man killing his facebook-friend


The_Snail_Lord_69

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2020/09/30/bible-thumping-florida-man-accused-of-throwing-holy-book-at-deputy/%3foutputType=amp


gecko579

Florida man robs Wendy's after grilling burger Like a true sigma male


ReleaseStatus

October 18- Florida man with half a head arrested for attempted murder, arson


iwastoldnottogohere

https://www.wjhl.com/news/national/florida-man-who-strapped-utility-pole-to-roof-of-car-charged-with-grand-theft-officials-say/


CavEmaN_mElviN

Naked Florida man with crossbow who claimed aliens were after him shot by police


Guim_Morral

15th april 2019: Man shoveling spaghetti in mouth arrested at Florida Olive Garden [Link](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ [the true link](https://kvoa.com/news/national-news/2019/04/15/man-shoveling-spaghetti-in-mouth-arrested-at-florida-olive-garden/)


Stahwk

Florida man drops stolen TV from getaway scooter Florida man arrested after deputiea found him livestreaming on Instagram


TheYeetToucher

April 7 Florida man sues to keep inflatable Super Mario ...


cuella47o

July 29 florida man makes a run with a beer while having a gator in hand


TheStealthyGIANT

mine was November 28 and a Florida man stabbed a woman over a underdone potato. [https://wcti12.com/news/offbeat/florida-man-accused-of-stabbing-woman-over-underdone-potato-11-29-2018](https://wcti12.com/news/offbeat/florida-man-accused-of-stabbing-woman-over-underdone-potato-11-29-2018)


Sellos_Maleth

“Florida man arrested after pelting girlfriend with McDonald's sweet and sour packets” July 1