Afraid of getting physical

Afraid of getting physical


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I’m assuming she’s into u considering she asked u over. Just get closer. Pay attention to what she does. Does she allow u in her personal space, if so. u could start by just getting used to her body being closer. I don’t think u should over think it. It will feel natural when ur both sitting down watching movies. Hug her for longer and touch noses for a while almost like teasing the that ur gonna kiss her and if it feels right just kiss her and stuff.. u got this!


You have an irrational fear that she will freak out if you escalate? That's kind of normal when you're not experienced. You just have to do it a few times, realize she won't freak out, and then your mental map will update with the new information.


Your issues are *not* stupid. You don't *have* to get sexual with her during a movie date. If you want to have an exclusive relationship (I am assuming you are not into polyamory) with this person or any person really, you'll have to learn ways to articulate your comfort levels and wants and needs. Writing often helps. Speaking in front of a mirror does too. Voicing desires while being mindful of other's boundaries is a skill ppl learn with practice. So if this is someone you want to get serious about, share with her that it's been a while since you've been in a serious relationship but you really like her. If she empathizes and responds positively, you can further ask her if you can kiss her (only if you want to). Also, you wrote about your irrational fear about her freaking out. That's a strong feeling and you should take the time to understand why you feel this way. As long as you are upfront about your feelings toward her and respect her boundaries, there is nothing to be afraid of. So, that's something to focus on.


It’s odd; I went through a bit of this at your age, myself. Mid thirties are a hard time to date. I would say - “just bet back on the horse” but times have changed a bit so you may want to have a chat about changing the dynamic of the relationship before you “lean in” so to speak. She has invited you over to do something that is generally seen as a fairly intimate way to spend time together so I believe that others here are right, that she is clearly showing interest. That alone should feed your confidence that she isn’t going to rebuff you but as I said, I understand your anxiety… it’s not logical but it’s truly powerful! Maybe start by telling her, straight out, that you’ve had a wonderful time with her thus far, are interested in spending more time with her and that you’re glad she invited you over. Then go with the flow.