Is it possible to have a relationship with a girl who admittedly likes to sleep around, but told me she wants to be exclusive

Is it possible to have a relationship with a girl who admittedly likes to sleep around, but told me she wants to be exclusive


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I was in this situation but the guy was the one who liked sleeping around. He had fubus and fwb that he could contact at anytime. I said yes to being exclusive cause I really liked him too. Well when he told me he wanted an open relationship 6 months after being exclusive I said no. He then ghosted me, slept with 2 women that week, then asked me for a second chance.


excuse me, whats a fubus?


Fuck buddy




I didn’t know that either 😂


Sex addict. Guaranteed. I just spent 5 years with one, and it was just torture. The constant wondering, suspicion, insecurity it gave me about my body, desirability, etc and we HAD an active sex life so its not like I was depriving the man. In fact, I ended up doing it a hell of a lot more than I wanted to just to "keep him from cheating" and it was seriously fucked up, the manipulation and him being aware I was terrified of him cheating so I obliged to the point where I was always sore in my private area and always letting him do things to me sexually that I actually fucking hated (finger in my butt, etc and I am a HARD NO on anything butt-wise) and when I would protest in the middle (get out of there, etc) he would get irritated that I wasn't "just letting him play". The mental abuse this can cause is devastating. I will never ever ever allow anyone to control me like that again. Fuck that nonsense. Some people may be just fine with an Ethically Non Monogamous relationship.... I am definitely not one of them. I hate it. We are broken up now but still live in the same apartment building and its been two years since I left him and he STILL tries to flirt with me/suggest Netflix&chill/ etc.... They can't stop. They can't help it. Its a compulsion that rules their minds. I would personally feel sick inside if I slept with two dudes in a close time frame (thats my own morality, not anyone elses) and then I think about him, whod be more than happy to bang 6 Tinder dates in one week... Hahaha no. Not for me.


I actually had suspicions! He admitted to being in a past relationship where he and his ex had sex everyday multiple times a day. I thought he had changed since but lmao was I wrong. It rlly sucked but we both dodged a bullet there!


Yep. I had my ex openly admit to me, some time after I left him and we ended up chatting outside one day..... that he was a sex addict. His behavior on the daily raised every red flag on the planet that I chose to ignore..... the desperate need for attention/validation from women in public was just non-stop (think flirting with the cashier at the grocery store while in line. Or offering to help pretty girls at the gym with whatever exercise they were doing wrong, or making our server at the restaurant nervously uncomfortable by remarking on her appearance with me sitting right there, the obsession about who and how many women liked/loved his FB posts when it was videos of him lifting, getting suspended at work for saying sexual shit in a text to his HR lady and then backpeddling and claiming it was an accident when he was reprimanded, and the list goes on) This narcissistic and conceited behavior that amounted to him constantly seeking reassurance that he was Adonis and could have whoever he wanted at any time...... is what drove his desire to fuck anything that moved. I should have known right from the beginning that he wasnt going to be able to change that part of himself, especially when his ex wife reached out to me in secret over messenger and essentially told me to run the other direction, for a lot of the reasons I mentioned above. She lasted 15 years like this. Biggest mistake of my life, not listening to her.


Just thinking out loud (maybe others have an input), Is this type of behavior something that can be fixed/changed or is this most likely something that will stay constant in their lives, does it need professional help or is it enough that they realize and change their mindset?


Well, they typically define an unhealthy obsession with a particular thing (gambling, shopping, drinking, whatevs) as a problem when it becomes detrimental to other parts of your life.... My ex was also the type to have porn playing in his room just 24/7, and while thats not a problem for most people, it is when it becomes so bad theyre late getting to work, foregoing other activities to do this instead, etc.... In this case, my partners addiction to sex manifested itself as causing him to behave in narcissistic ways and the reason I did become insecure and afraid of being cheated on is because everything about interacting with him was just needing that ego boost so much that it became clear to me that the affections of one woman were not enough to satisfy this nonstop urge to flirt and act a player. I think it will always be an inherent part of his humanity, yeah. Whether he successfully realizes its a negative issue that needs correcting in order to have a healthy and respectful relationship is another thing entirely. They have to 1) know that there is an issue and 2) make a consistent effort to avoid the behaviors that would not be appropriate in a monogamous partnership.


What's scary to me is that I see a lot of me in this. You helped me to see my own behaviors. Thank you for that. Right now I'm fine, but other times it feels like I'm wasting my life by not having the insane wild sex I feel like deserve, before I get too old and eventually die. My partner definitely has had a hard time with my behaviors and desires. We have unevenly matched libidos. But maybe I am a sex addict.


Well this is certainly incredibly common, and for me, the biggest turn OFF with him was his persistence, impatience, and irritation when I wasn't porn-star ready whenever he felt like it. It got to the point where I did not walk around in any state of undress, shower without the door locked, wrap myself up burrito-style at night so there was no groping or feeling that penis-poke in my back, etc..... I was actively avoiding physical contact with him at all times because it was creepy, just how MUCH he chased me around for sex. It drove me fucking crazy and I am MORE than happy to have sex almost daily.... im 46 with a very healthy libido but the dynamic there was not conducive to turning me on. It made me feel like his personal hooker because he was entirely incapable of being respectful and keeping his hands off me for five minutes. A lot of women would love this level of attention im sure, but he would want to, like, lock the door and have a session right in the middle of the day on the weekend when the kids are fully awake and running around the house playing.... just so much shit that felt overboard and borderline inappropriate..... it was awful. Women DO love good dick, I promise you that LOL, but not when we're pressured or badgered about it. Then, the opposite happens and you start resenting the person you used to be hugely attracted to because no amount is ever good enough or satisfying for them. Its the constant nagging for blowjobs (for zero effort on his part, by the way) and getting pawwed at for daring sit on the same piece of furniture, etc.... Like holy shit. The amount of times I've had to just get up off the couch and walk away because I'm trying to watching a movie with hands going in my pants right in the middle of the family room.... just fucking STOP. And I used to get so angry and bitchy because all the pushing away of his hands or asking him to knock if off every five minutes just became loathsome for me and I then had zero desire to ever have sex with him again. He RUINED my attraction to him by acting like a dog and never leaving me fuck alone. I definitely did not have complete bodily ownership in that relationship, and looking back it makes me sick just how much he ignored my pleas to be left alone. Thats disturbing and a little dangerous, a man feeling that entitled to his partner's body. In most situations like yours, women's bodies have evolved and changed for the worse as we age, from childbirth, breastfeeding, illness, exhaustion, etc..... and HORMONES play perhaps the biggest part in her libido. I'd encourage your wife to get herself checked out, medically, and if shes fine in that regard, couples counseling would be the next step. I let myself "go" on purpose in my fucked up relationship because I was attempting to put him off being attracted me. Thats when you know its bad.


Okay, I don't feel so bad now. I'm not that bad. My wife is late 20s without a kid yet, and this has been going on for 6 years. So maybe it is a little bit of both of our issues.


I’m so happy you got out of that toxicity. Wishing you all the best and hoping you find someone who deserves you! You sound amazing ❤️


I assure you I am not 😂 but you're very sweet. Our entire relationship ended up being us fighting due to him constantly crossing appropriate boundaries and making me feel like a crazed lunatic and "insecure" for getting irritated with how *much* he really just wanted to plow the entire city and declare himself the King of Sex. Never again. Thank you again, you're kind :)


Your experience has no bearing on this relationship.


Well no shit Sherlock. I was demonstrating that "sleeping around" can sometimes lead to the discovery of deeper problems because it tends to be very difficult to just "close the door" on that part of a person's humanity if thats the way they truly want to be. Was your remark necessary or helpful in any way? I feel like no.


Somewhat true, but way too blunt after they explained everything that happened to them. There is advice to be taken from them.


Ew what a shitty comment


When I finished reading her comment I was thinking "that was actually really insightful" . When I finished reading yours i got suicidal. Youre a piece of fucking trash.


What's a fubus?


A fuck buddy


What's the difference between fubus and FWB?


I'd say a FWB is a friend that you have sex with, but you could also participate in normal platonic friend activities. Fuck buddy is someone I meet up with exclusively to fuck them then go about my day.


I think only you know the answer to that. If she is willing to be exclusive with you, than you just have to decide if you can date her AND not hold her past against her. It is only an issue if you have an issue with it.


As a woman who enjoys casual sex, I also prefer exclusivity. Sex is just a fun activity to me, but when I'm in a relationship, there's also an emotional component, so I stop being interested in sleeping with anyone else. Obviously I can't speak for her, but if she really wanted to keep sleeping around, I don't think she would have bothered to ask to be exclusive.


But if you do choose to keeping dating her, it's not something you can hold over her head or making her feel guilty about. If you think it's gonna be a problem, then let her go.


The most realistic answer here. Just because someone has bouts of enjoying casual sex, does not render them incapable of emotional/physically/sexual exclusivity. Life ebbs and flows and sometimes it's just natural to go with it either way. Again, not everyone who engages in casual sex is a sex addict. Only OP knows the vibe they share and if it seems like they are/could do well together, why not give it a shot?


This is facts


Are you a Sagittarius? Great input and advice.


Lol, Leo actually! Thanks!


Thank you for giving the reasonable answer


I feel the fuck out of this!!


I had a guy that was messing with an engaged woman & sleeping arnd tell me the same thing. I don’t judge him whatever he likes to do on his free time isnt my problem.But him sharing all this info to me just wasnt appealing & I couldnt see him the same. He offered to send me a pic of his “ package” apparently all women said it was “huge” lmaooo. Anyways his friend even tried to convince me to give him a shot but i couldnt. I could only offer him my friendship. But really think if you will be able to do a relationship with the person or will you always have your doubts & have this in the back of your mind.


Too much stress on my head I couldn’t deal with it


The fact that he’s asking strangers online is a dead giveaway that he shouldn’t do it and I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t lol. The past is the past but shit catches up to you and can weigh you or others down if they not compatible or relatable to how you were in the past.


The dead giveaway IMO is that he’s giving massive negative points to people giving polite nonjudgmental comment like ‘girls can be one way with some guys and another way with you. Only you can know whether she might really want to be exclusive’ . Like -256 points for a really sane and respectful comment like that!


I’d have to say I’m kinda like this. But when I kno, I kno. She might be legit serious about being exclusive. But, like other ppl said, if you’re not cool with her past then don’t try to date her. Biggest turn off is a partner gettin weird about the amount of ppl I’ve been with in the past and bringing it up alllll the time. No thanks


Exactly. I don’t get the people who care about someone’s past partners before they met. When you know you know. Sleeping around in between exclusive partners has nothing to do with commitment level in a committed relationship. It’s a completely different thing. Some people don’t have a capacity to fee both ways and that’s fine but I never understand the judgement when it’s the other way around. Maybe OP is just concerned about it because he is afraid he will be compared to a larger sample size of partners? That’s his insecurity to deal with I think.


I just don't tell people my #. Edit: not sure why you all feel entitled to this info from people. I wouldn't date sombody who asked me and acted wierd about it.


Agreed. I’ve never asked anyone how many people they’ve been with, and no ones ever asked me. That seems more standard, honestly. I don’t know a lot of people who are asking the people they date for this information.


I didn’t count


I hear you it’s your business no one else is entitled to your personal info. Wouldn’t bother dating someone who had a problem with it.


Dated 2 guys like this. It felt like they agreed to being exclusive since they knew I “required it”. Both ended up being complete assholes who slept around. They miss the chase and the ego boost, and they didn’t understand that being exclusive is something that some people naturally want when you are with someone you love. I never had this issue with other relationships, and we both were happy to only be with each other. If I fall in love with someone then I get disgusted by the idea of being with someone else. My partner’s body feels like “home” to me and it’s the only place I wanna be! If a person don’t feel like that about me then I won’t bother tbh.


The exact same happened to me. She cheated lol


Up to you man. As a man, I like to sleep around too. So I don’t really judge a woman if she likes to as well


I’m dating a guy currently who said the same thing in the beginning- he did nothing but sleep around for years but when we started hooking up he decided he wanted to be exclusive. Hasn’t so much as texted another girl since we got together, so far so good. I think you should give it a chance but keep your guard up, that’s what I did.


I am this guy, I straight up told my girlfriend I hook up casually. After being exclusive she did try to keep me away from sex, I did suggest open relationship, we made out and now I think sex can wait what I have with her is better. I do get girls still trying for flings, but I keep them on the bay, she is free to check my phone, has my location and I tell her each girl who makes a move. I feel happy in making her feel secure because I think she deserves it


Definitely I would advise against this. If you're going to keep your guard up or not let her even text other guys, then leave her alone.


Dawg I clearly mean texting them as in…. texting them with intent to do something suspicious lol


She actually said “I’m a whore”?


Yeah, she doesn’t seem like dating material


It's only your turn.


You’d have to ask yourself if you could deal with her past, just because she was something before doesn’t mean she can’t change. She seemed pretty upfront with you


Just because she likes to sleep around doesn't mean she can't be exclusive BUT if you're feeling some type of way about it now it's not gonna get any better. So no. Don't do it.


I was with a girl like this a few months back, long story short she cheated on me twice after telling me all kinds of sugary things. So I'd really advice against it but you do you, personally I wouldn't date anyone like that again


Username doesn’t check out.


I have been in similar situation, and later i literally caught her by chance kissing with someone else. Unfortunately I was in love at that point, so it was painful but I confronted her and tried to break up except she didn't want to and promised not to do it again, so we didn't. But just a month or 2 after, i still broke up with her cuz it just wasn't worth it and I still couldn't trust her


Why engage in a relationship if she has yet to earn your trust? Why engage in a relationship with someone who possibly could just cheat on you? You could just stay fwb and nothing more. I dont know why people put themselves in situations like that when there are plenty of fish in the sea, people who are willing to commit and have shown that through their actions. As of now she hasn’t showed you anything


Its all on u bro, if u trust her, its confortable with it etc, reddit cant help u with those kind of things... i personally wouldn't....


Give it a shot - what’s the worst that can happen? She’ll cheat on you, that risk exists in all situations. If the pros of your comparability outweigh the cons of risk then go for it!!


I don't really get the problem. I'm a guy who has a liberal and open view on sexuality. I like to have sex with different woman, I mean I think like 80% of guys feel this way if they're honest. That doesn't mean I can't authentically tell someone that I want to be exclusive with them and give up being secually open to different people.


I've tried this three times, and it failed each time. People like that don't want a relationship or else they wouldn't be sleeping around. They are just tired of being a body that gets passed around and want a little dose of actually being liked as a person before they go right back into it. One of those cases was funny. She was being affectionate and stuff and saying she liked me and didn't want to have sex with anyone else and we had such a good connection and all that, and I was like "then wanna be together?" and she said "I'm not good with monogamy." So I said "ok, I guess we can't be together." Then she immediately did a 180 and said she wanted a relationship, and I told her I didn't believe her and she said she would show me. I called that she would break up with me in about a week, and she did.


Honestly I wouldn’t date anyone promiscuous it’s stressful but if you really like her go for it


It's a big gamble. She might want to try being exclusive, but she's the type that likes different "types". And once the sex becomes familiar you run the risk of her looking for something different. I probably wouldn't date this girl.


In theory, yes. In practice, good luck with staying with her for past a year. They always revert back to their old ways.


Look out for red flags. Keep an eye open. Don’t accuse her but do watch out for patterns. Is she still friends with her exes or people she used to sleep with? Does she have a lot of male friends? Does she put herself in areas of easy temptation? I think it would easier to take her word if she doesn’t participate in activities that make sleeping around easier. This is me projecting but I had someone try to settle down with me after sleeping with tons of people,,,but being promiscuous was just their personality. They loved attention and temptation was their biggest downfall. They always claimed they were “husband material” but at the end of the day, they were always searching for more.


Liking casual sex =/ cheater It all comes down to how much your trust her


In the logic that casual sex and liking sex causes cheating then everyone who went to/ has been to university in the UK are all cheaters.


Please speak for yourself and don’t involve us normal people that actually go to university for education


Shes for the streets for a reason my guy move on


If you trust her to stick to her word, then why not? Sleeping around might not even seem that fun to her once you are in a committed relationship. Sex is admittedly tons better with your SO than with a stranger. Of course if she is unfaithful you should dump her


Honestly when you’re ready you’re ready. If you’re open and honest and can trust each other in the relationship who cares about the past. Sometimes you sleep around then you grow up a bit and want something different. Who cares?


What a nice bunch of comments… if you both like each other you should go for it. There’s no shame in enjoying sleeping around, if she feels like she wants to be exclusive we don’t have enough material to slut shame her, and it’s not because she’s been sleeping around that she’s a sex addict.


I agree but kind of related to your comment, I’m wondering what would YOU say is enough material to slut shame someone? Like what would a girl had to have done to be considered slut shame able?


That’s a good remark, I don’t know, i guess I have misused the word! I guess if she had an history of cheating we could say she’s a cheater as OP could be unsure, but I wouldn’t slut shame in that situation either.


Enjoying sleeping around does not immediately translate to cheater. I like to sleep around when I am single but have never once even been tempted to cheat on a partner. Seems like she may have just been trying to let you know that she has a high body count.


A shame she feels the need to share this. It’s her business. But to each their own. I wouldn’t mind either way.


It's telling that you're getting so many downvotes from this comment, despite it being extremely rational and pretty damn healthy. I think there's a lot of fragility in the comments. People don't want to admit it but I think they're scared they will be compared or won't be good enough. Never a good start to a relationship if that's their mind-set.


Yeah I mean downvotes on Reddit don’t mean anything to me. There are millions of cultural norms that are inimical and done purely out of pluralistic ignorance. Feeling the need to share your body count or that it’s a bad thing is patently idiotic. Americans at once put sex on a pedestal and act like prudes. It’s moronic. Sex is sex. It’s enjoyable and largely harmless when done safely and consensually. Judging people for having a lot of it is a sign of personal fear and envy.


Bring a shovel along to dig your own grave a few months down the line.


Well we can be analytical with ourselfs to a degree an vice versa for the opposite gender. Don't know age of individuals really doesn't matter i guess but as a pair of adults I can say oh an free of oppression from he/she,they can agree to an open relationship without any unnecessary burden in other words come as you are. So what's to worry bout Laddy if she's about you there will be a fine line she won't cross. Also knowing is half the battle or so it seems. Is that where I tell you better to prepare than to prevent the inevitable .Again age but also there is POF out there in dem dar hills.Trying and failing is better then that of of the unknown.Live for the now & live for the love. Don't forget to have fun meanwhile too makes it more worthy. More over love yourself and so you love an trust those round you.leading an taking a step forward in Everlovung confidence knowing what you can bring to the table if need be speaking metaphorically.Hope you understand where I'm coming from.. Best of luck to you and yours.


I just recently dated a woman like this. Her attention was directed all over the place though. She didn’t hang around too long but hey I just enjoyed my turn lol good luck whatever your decision is 🤙🏼


Op please be very cautious and careful. She may “say” she’s willing to be exclusive with you, and that may work for a short while, but if she gets tired of you, she may go back, if she’s not be honest from the get go, she may continue to do so behind your back, the best thing is open and honest conversation. Let her know how your feeling, and see if she’s willing to be open about everything. If you have doubts she’ll let you see her phone, etc etc. and it’s not for your lack of faith. It’s for your piece of mind and sanity. Knowing her past, that’s fine, you can accept that. What you cant accept is if she might be lying to you from the start, or goes back shortly into relationship. (How many others might she have told she was willing to be exclusive with as well)? Only honesty, and pure open communication from BOtH sides will work here. Good luck and I wish u well


I have a few theories. 1. A stretch, but she could be just saying that out of fear of rejection. Some people have a knack for self sabotaging. 2. However, if she is being truthful, at least she's upfront about it and you know EXACTLY what kind of problems and issues you're going to deal with. 3. She could be saying this as a way to get out of being held accountable in a relationship. If you know what you're getting, when problems arise, it'll be the "you knew what I was like before we started dating". 4. The other guys she's messing with may be going back to their girlfriends/wives and she's feeling lonely. She may want exclusiveness out of convenience. Unless she's willing to really change and prove she's worth it, honestly I wouldn't waste my time. That's too many emotional (the feels, the other men), mental (manipulation, trauma, lying) and physical (STDs, pregnancy, treating body like a trash can) problems to deal with.


I wouldn’t do it.


She waved a read flag in your face bud, leave it.


Dont be a simp to her your a king op


NOPE. Work on that self-respect and self-love baby and get yourself someone who’s crazy for you and only you from the beginning ♥️


She can be exclusive but its only a matter of time when she spirals back into her ways... she will need to work on this constantly and not be in an environment that could set the same train in motion. Its basically like any other hard habit or addictivness...


Run dude.


Red flag lmao you finna basically put your money/time in a barrel with no bottom or lid to it...go for it if you're a dumbass ig


Used stuff used stuff


I dated a girl like that. She cheated on me from day one of our relationship. You are setting yourself up for it if you continue to pursue her


That is usually what happens with a girl like that


When I met my husband I greatly enjoyed casual sex with various people, I was a 'unicorn' for a couple and had a few regular f*** buddies. Since meeting my husband I've never been tempted by anything or anyone and I cut all contract with those FWBs and blocked their numbers - because I didn't need or want them in my life. I got rid of them all long before he and I chatted about being exclusive because I knew I wanted him and only him. There's also the possibility she's bluffing to make herself seem more experienced or highly sexed? Absurd, but some people do that. The fact that she's being honest with you is potentially a good sign, and honestly, what have you got to lose? Relationships can and do hurt, for a variety of reasons and you could just as easily be hurt by a virgin as you could by someone with a body count of 250 because relationships don't always work and shit happens, but that's part of the fun and risk of being in a relationship in the first place. Go for it!


Its very normal in a new relationship that partners become completely infatuated with each other and are willing to overlook their false. But infatuation isnt love. You won't be blinded by it after 3-6 months. That's when you'll know if you actually like each other, and if she is still willing to be exclusive. My suggestion is: Sure you can date her if you wish, but don't be surprised if you get cheated on or she decides to want to break up or have an open relationship after 3-6 months of dating. So you should be prepared for that if it does happen. What I'm basically saying, if u decide to date her, don't get too invested.


Run brother run and don’t look back. All those dude she has fucked are constantly trying to hit her up on social media or whatever trying to fuck her again. Trust me. If you sleep With dogs you wake up with fleas.


Nahh bro


I mean listen it's up to you, but as soon as she told me that I would have left her and moved on to someone else.




No. it won’t last


If this person likes to sleep around, the moment your not around for her to satisfy her addiction best believe she will go looking for it. This person has a problem, don't make yourself one by attaching yourself emotionally. Wish the girl the best and go on forward.


No! Run dummy!,,


She for the streets bro


Just walk away from this. You’re gonna lose in the end.


Its probably bad news. But if you're going to do it just make sure you both take that trip to the clinic and get tested! 😀


Be careful with this. She could honestly have the best intentions, but I’ve been burned by similar situations because monogamy was too hard for her to maintain. If you’re already having doubts that she can be faithful then you’ve pretty much already answers your own question. Sounds like it wouldn’t be a good idea.


Don’t fall into that trap. Take my advice, run away from those girls. It is too stressful. You will find many who are much better in future.


Trust me dont do it


Enjoying sex and having multiple partners isn’t an indicator of morals. You have no idea how she acts inside of a caring, stable relationship. If you genuinely like and respect her, you’d give her a chance- and not judge her on her sexual history any longer. If anything, it’s good for YOU because you guys potentially can have a great sex life together. But if you feel you can’t trust her? Do you both a favor and end whatever you have now. Let her enjoy her pursuit of whatever she wants, and save yourself the hassle of constantly wondering about her loyalty to you.


Theoretically it's possible, I personally wouldn't do it, but if i did I would be keeping a VERY close eye on the other person. Habits die hard and unfortunately this is one of the habits that can end up affecting you not only emotionally but also health wise. But if you want a short simple answer- no I would not recommend getting into a relationship with this girl


Dude save yourself the headache right now. I know you like her but You’re essentially shooting yourself in the foot


Sure it is. Men have been doing exactly this since the dawn of time.


People like to fuck. It's time to get over it.


I don’t see why you’d care. My current gf said she’s slept with a lot of guys. Doesn’t faze me a single bit. Just makes me more sure that she knows what she wants. If you’re feeling territorial or something, get over it. If you think she’s gonna cheat on you or something, that’s another story. I doubt it though. She sounds honest.


If you believe that you would believe anything. Don't be stupid


Sure is possible! It's called trust. If she's honest about past promiscuity and has been honesty with you in general, then trust her until she gives you a reason not to. IF (and that's a big if) she gives you a reason not to. Shit doesn't always work out, and this might not either. But you like her a lot, and it definitely won't pan out if you do nothing at all. I say go for it


As someone who was also in this predicament, I wouldn’t recommend it. As soon as things become routine she’ll get bored and wanna look for something else and you’re left crushed and fucked up. Not worth it imo but if you feel like she’s different then go for it man, you know what’s best for you.




This needs way more fucking upvotes. Get on it.


I tried that once, when I and a beautiful dancer body bisexual and I became exclusive. I even moved to her city. About 2 years later, I discovered a man she'd messed with before at her apartment. They'd gone out to dinner, for a walk and then back to her place. Seemed like a date to me. It was an accident that I "caught" them, since I never spied or even just dropped by. I'd be extremely naive if I thought this was all fine. It wasn't, and I split with her the next day and left the city two weeks later. About 15 years later, I heard she killed herself, which I suspect was because she got too old and unattractive to continue the nymphet ways of her youth. So it goes.


This fucking antidote is insane and insensitive …


To be fair, in most relationships, you really just have to take a leap of faith and trust that the other person won't cheat. There's never going to be a sure thing. I would personally not base weather or not to take this leap of faith, on the number of casual relationships the other has had, but it's on you. Define your boundaries and trust her, if that's something you can do.


if your okay with her continuing that sure


These comments are interesting and polerizing. My partner (former) was like this and I can only think as soon as we breakup shes on the tinder or calling a booty call.


Nah bro you can’t give her what she needs to fill her cup.




It's not a good idea and will not work. Even if she doesn't cheat she will never stop exercising her open hypergamy and craving for other guys attention to feel validated. Don't do it


Damaged Goods, move on.


Just clarify sleep around vs cheating. I dated a girl who Fucd everyone once, but would never cheat on me. Just be aware there’ll be dudes everywhere who fucd her, but if you’re not insecure and she’s respectful to your feelings, doesn’t hurt anything.






Hard pass




Don’t be surprised if it doesn’t last long, as soon as she gets bored she’s gonna be in another dudes bed. I’d save myself the trouble personally.


If you want STD’s then go for it


Hit it and forget it, move on, you will never truly be able to trust her.


She will cheat on you mark my words


Yes easily She might have had fun but she's willing to keep her fun just to you


People rarely change unless there is a life altering event, she will not be faithful.


Sleeping around is not the same as cheating.


You can't be serious, it's text book.


If sombody cheated on all their last partners that's a concern. If they slept around while single but we're always faithful In relationships it's not a higher risk. Sleeping around is not the same as cheating.


Don't know about you, but I'm seeing a lot of fragility in these comments.


Some of them definitely, some are sexist, others have their own preferences which is fine. If you're claiming women with lots of previous partners are bad and you have a lot yourself.... You're a hypocrite. That's not what the OP is doing. I think he's genuinely concerned he won't be enough for her since she's slept around a lot. I can understand that, but if he really likes her it's worth a try since she's expressed wanting to be exclusive with him. Many people get bored of hookups and decide they want something more exclusive and intimate as they get older. This could be that kind of situation. The OP will only know by chatting about it with this woman that he really likes.


Maybe she likes you more than sleeping around with others? But also I would say actions speak louder than words, and so you should look at what actions indicate that she’s ready to be exclusive with you not just saying she is (i.e. deleting dating apps, not dating or talking with other guys or past flings etc.). It might also be worth asking if she’s dating anyone else besides you currently or when was her last date / fling. The reason I say this because if her hooking up with a lot of other guys is still very much recent lifestyle then there’s a chance at least feelings may still linger. For example, I have a friend that slept around a lot this year and was dating many guys simultaneously. One of the guys is now her boyfriend but the uncomfortable part is that she still admitted to me that she still has feelings for one of other guys she was dating too. She hasn’t told her boyfriend this yet too and I don’t think she ever will.


Yes. It is. But I wouldn't encourage it. That is a very dangerous road in the midst. Things usually go extremely toxic later on.


I would never try to convince someone who sleeps around to just be with me. The whole idea of “is it possible” seems that YOU are trying to convince them to be one way. No matter how much “commonalities ” you have with someone does not change their course of action when it comes to dating. It’s all a lie in the end… Just walk away


If you like her you go for it. So what if she slept around? Get tested to make sure neither of you have anything and try it out. Many women hook up a lot when they're younger and then realise most things are much better with an exclusive partner that you care about. Many women have seen the good and the bad and if you're good they'll be reluctant to easily throw that away to have a meaningless hook up with sombody else. It's just not as good or worth it if you have a good exclusive partner. Many more woman than you realise have had a lot more previous partners than you think because they're often not honest about it (due to these kinds of reactions). She says she agrees to being exclusive I don't see the problem.


If you can really deal with her past then you should go for it if you can't you'll just be hurting yourself and hers.


No. Her psyche is damaged to treat people as replaceable and crave the easy bursts of dopamine. She will never be able to have a fulfilling monogamous relationship. I'm serious.


Always comes back to trust. She wants to be exclusive and if you've said you also want to be, then just relax and begin your journey together. Trust her and if she sleeps around, it's her loss. If you really like her then it's always worth a risk of heartbreak.


Only you can know the answer to it. The question is not “is it possible” it’s “is it possible for me” to have that relationship. If you believe her and can accept that? Go for it. If you can’t? Don’t. You’ve got some soul searching to do unfortunately


This wouldn't work for you. I'm someone who'd love to be serious with a woman that likes sleeping around... We'd be exclusive for a relationship, but but not for sex. 🤷 I'd be into it. But I'm not a normie. This wouldn't end well. If you want exclusive, be commited. Otherwise, do open if you're experienced with that. Its like me going to a girl and saying "I like sleeping around, but I want to be exclusive with you so you wouldn't sleep with anyone else". It's a big red flag 🚩 from me.


Don’t do it. It could work out but it’s more likely not to


Dont do it. Many people will give me heat for this, but promiscuous women are not entirely the same as promiscuous men. Ive had a lot of experience with women like this and its NOT worth it! Please dude, don't.


can you explain how they’re different?


Promiscuous women dont generally value relationships. Women who indiscriminately fuck men typically have underlying issues (lack of pairbonding). Additionally, most women know deep down that men dont want to make a wife out of a 304 due to lack of pair bonding in the past. It's not a secure investment for them, men want to know the person they are with will *stay* with them. Not use them for sex/money and dip. The same way modest women dont want to be "used" for their bodies. Men are not the sexual selectors unless they are a top tier man. So if they want to get laid, they get what they can get. On the other hand, its nothing to women to get laid; this is obvious. Men want a woman who knows shes worth more than her vagina. Women who indiscriminately fuck and cant hold a guy down says that they dont have much to offer other than sex. Sometimes this isnt the case (rarely). If its easy for women to get laid, they should be choosing the *right* (quality) guys to sleep with. Men want to be that best guy. Not the 100th chump she let smash. And if he IS someone who a catch/high value, why would he want a woman who let a bunch of chumps hump her? Most men dont want to date sluts for LTRs. Thats reality. From what I have read, researched, experienced for myself and seen other men experience, women who fuck around stay single. Men dont take them seriously. Women who know they're worth it, dont let every chad slide in. Its been shown the more partners women have, the more prone they are to continue hookups and one night stands and regret it less (continuing the cycle). I'm not saying all women who are promiscuous should be avoided and are all bad/not suitable for LTR, i am saying that chances are they wont be. Its a risk that im not willing to invest in. Id rather get into a LTR with a woman who has experience in LTRs and just a few/no experience with hookups. If shes only done hookups... big red flag


There are so many problems with this response. I don't even know where to start. Blaming people for having relationships fail? There are lots of reasons why a woman might not 'keep a man' and not all of them will be her fault. Why would a guy want a girl who has had previous sexual partners? I dunno, maybe they have good chemistry and get along really well. If she says she's interested in being exclusive with you then there's no reason not to go for it if you like her. Thwres no difference between men and women with everything you've listed. It would be just as much a red flag if a guy had no ltr experience. Where was it 'shown' that women who sleep keep doing it more and regret it less? In my experience and with people I know it's been exactly the opposite. As I got older and more experienced the desire to hook up and sleep around greatly decreased and I became much more saavy at picking good partners and better at spotting idiots.


The problem with this answer is that you didn’t respond to any of his points. You just took from it that women shouldn’t be labeled damaged goods and then superimposed your own questions to answer. You gave this away when you said it was just as big a red flag if guys sleep around. Well, okay, exactly. Also, you just didn’t understand what he wrote for example, he didn’t say that women tend to sleep around more when they get older. He said women that sleep around will have less regrets doing so as they get older. I think there are plenty of problems with their response. I don’t think you addressed them though. It’s a shame that pointing out differences between men and women has become illegal. It would allow for so much richer conversation. Now it’s only okay to acknowledge this truth in specific scenarios, usually bowdlerized, and almost never when you’re a man.


It wasn't the truth in his examples and he didn't list anything that wouldn't be eaqually applicable to men. He was just finding a soft way to reinforce that it's still ok for men to sleep around but not women. Both men and women generally don't tend to sleep around more as they age and do regret it more. People in general find meaningless hookups less appealing as they get older and want more stable relationships. Find me the study that points out a difference between men and women in this aspect. You won't find it. If anything, you'll find that the urge to be exclusive is stronger in women. The potential costs of a sexual encounter are far greater for a women. I'm not sure why you think it's illegal to talk about differences between men and women. It's not. If you're going to do it though, you'd better back it up because people are sick of baseless comparisons that fuel sexism. Saying that women who sleep around are somehow worse than men who do the same is wrong. Number of partners and lack of LTR experience isn't magically more concerning in a woman... It would be equally concerning in a man.


I responded to what the commenter said and those were his big points: that women who sleep around are different than men, that it would be a red flag of a woman had no ltr experience, and that it's been 'shown' that women who sleep around are prone to do it more and not regret it. He didn't actually back any of those statements up and they're all eaqually applicable to men doing the same behaviour. None of those apply to the situation of the OP either. The woman he likes, who has been very honest with him, and has clearly stated she wants to be exclusive with him, isn't more likely to cheat on him because of her past. I'd advise her to avoid the OP though if he is going to be wierd about her past and treat her with less respect or like she is damaged in some way.


That sounds like it's not gonna work long term. If you really good at getting girls I'd suggest making it open. If you're not then you're better off keeping it casual.


If the problem is OP bring uncomfortable with her sleeping with other people, I don't think that an open relationship is really gonna help in that department


Remember that one song on Dr. Dre 2001


Nope. Those people have many, many problems with socializing.


She is being honest with you about her past. She is owning who she is. She is expressing her feelings for you and is willing to be exclusive. If you are man enough to let go of her past, she comes with a lot of perks. Sounds like you like her a lot. And the truth is, we all have pasts. Are you a virgin? Have you ever been in love? Do these things make you undateable? Are you gross now? No. She likes sex. That's normal. Most people just are not as honest about it.


Did she say she cheated in past relationships? If not I don’t see a problem. It is definitely important when getting in a serious relationship with someone that both parties have a lot of sexual experience and know the grass isn’t greener on the other side. A person with experience isn’t second guessing or regretting giving up their single life. It sounds like she is there and maybe you aren’t. Now if someone has a history of cheating on a partner that is a bad sign but just having lots of sex just means she enjoys sex, which honestly is super important if you want to be in a relationship forever with someone and that she obviously likes having sex with you and not because you are just the first or second person she’s had experience with.


As someone else said, she is a sex addict. Plus my 2 cents, she is having a boatload of issues and she basically wants you to fix them. After that she will probably dump you. Run, please.


Are you asking strangers on the internet if they know, more than you, whether or not that person means it when they say they want to be exclusive? Seriously? Are you afraid they will cheat? Or are you afraid that she in the past has had good sex that you can't "measure up with"? None of those can in any way be answered well, satisfactorily, or even truthfully by randos on reddit with that scarce 'information'.


Friend with benefits seem like a good start


I think it's a red flag that she thought it was okay to tell that to someone she wanted to be exclusive with... For me body count is absolutely a factor and I don't need to know anything else about her to know hers is high. I'd be out




How delusional. The past creates the person that you are, of course it's relevant. Ignoring it is a coping mechanism.


What lmao. The past absolutely matters when making any type of decision in your life and it’s dumb to not apply that same standard to relationships or friendships. If you are not okay with a persons past relationship or sexually history then they aren’t for you. You can lose feelings easily for a person if you hear something that’s a deal breaker for you. You could be hitting it off great with someone and things go bad because you hooked up with their friend in the past lol.


Why wouldn't it be possible? People can grow up.


She wants to make sure that you would stick around and not cheat, while she most probably would go behind your back. If you like her, go for an open relationship


You should be sane enough to run away miles from her


Don't wife a hoe , she for the streets, public property


If people tell you who they are, believe them the first time. Can't turn a hoe into a housewife. Leave her be. She belongs to the streets.


There is a big difference between being in an exclusive relationship and having slept with people in the past. Did she cheat or was she just single and having fun? I'd she was single and having fun but wants to be exclusive with you, you should consider it. She likes you enough to give you everyone else and the freedom to be with other people.


In the modern day, it might be quite a few you are sending to the discard heap, if you knew the full story. At least this lady doesn't lie to you. Wouldn't it be sad if you kicked this lady to the curb and you got the next one but she was doing the same but only lying to you?


Only if you can’t find another woman imo.




She sees you as a beta male. You are the safe guy that she could see herself marrying at some point.


Lmao.... NO way!! there is such a thing as a "stupid question"


It’s possible but I wouldn’t mess with that.


Hell’s to the no! Guys/girls who do this ?!?! It’d be a hard pass for me since I’d never have peace of mind about the relationship!


Unless your desperate don't be involved with someone like that. You don't need your heart broken and someone who slept around is not gonna make good choices so I'd strongly advise don't even start a relationship.


When a person shows you who they are for the very first time, listen.


Unless you are prepared to have an open relationship then I would absolutely say no to this.


Hell no. She actually said she likes you a lot? That particular phrasing tells me you aren't the first guy she's told that to and you won't be the last. A lasting relationship needs more than just liking you a lot. She's too immature dude. Don't ignore this giant red flag. My ex told me how much trouble she'd be and when she did I should have turned tail right away. She cheated on me. The second you hit trouble she's gonna cheat on you with one of her other guy friends. You can and will do better.


I have dated women like that and it always turned out badly for me. Ho’s gotta ho.