T O P

Navigating dating and anti-depression/anxiety medication adjustments.

Navigating dating and anti-depression/anxiety medication adjustments.

koala49m

First: Be patient with yourself. Dating can be stressful in the best of times. You're doing your best to deal with complex circumstances, so please give yourself permission to make mistakes. Second: Consider waiting until you get through the adjustment/stabilization period before putting yourself in the dating pool. That could destress things a lot, and also make the experience a lot more positive for you. You're a great catch, and waiting a little bit longer might make it easier for those you date to see that.


username_blahblah_

Thank you - helpful advice.


BonetaBelle

Yes, I agree with the other person's advice. I definitely had some weird experiences first going on SSRIs and did feel numb for a bit, so I can't imagine I would have really enjoyed dating at that point.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BonetaBelle

Thank you <3 It went away after a couple weeks on its own but I really appreciate it.


EStVM

Just be open and honest about it. The wonderful thing I've discovered about dating in my late thirties is the ability to have actual adult conversations. The majority of women I've spoken to appreciate my openness and also share some of their own (or their family/friends) struggles. This has led to greater emotional intimacy after the first or second date. I'd also note that dating, getting into a LTR, and/or marrying someone with a mental illness like depression is something a partner should sign-up for, not discover later (assuming that the mental illness is preexisting, as in your case). A few women after hearing my mental health history have passed, but always in a respectful way. If I had developed a relationship with those women and had a depressive episode, the relationship would have suffered and/or ended - so ultimately being upfront saves you from potential heartache in the future. Congrats on your mental health journey and for stepping back into the dating pool! Best of luck out there.


SwimmingLanguage1756

I really like this answer. As we get older, we realize that no one is perfect and we all have obstacles we're trying to overcome. By making your partner aware of your struggles, and allowing them to make the consious choice to stay, you're making them an ally. Medication will help but you will still have depressive episodes. When your parner is aware, they have a better chance of not taking it personally and may even be able to support you until you feel better. Being with someone with depression can be hard for both people but with transparency and understanding, it can be a little brighter. Im rooting for you !


username_blahblah_

Thank you - I appreciate it. And very true... we are adults that can have adult conversations. No need to hide, especially if it is a factor that would be a part of a future relationship.


Ok-Top-9501

Hi! Same situation here 💗 As others have said before, communication is key! I'm currently changing my meds and in my last date I was a bit off for short periods of time. My date knows I'm going through a hard patch right now, so when he asked me if I was OK, I explained that sometimes when they change my meds I feel a bit weird until I get used to it. He understood and he was kind to me, which was a relief! Be also patient with yourself, don't push yourself too hard and accept that you're perhaps not going to be at you best. If the person you're seeing doesn't understand this, then they don't have the empathy or capacity right now to be a good date to someone with mental health issues, and you would have dodged a bullet! Good luck!!!!


username_blahblah_

Thank you so much. Appreciate the advice and your positive experience!


BaleoNub

By staying out of dating entirely, you'll end up in a worse place over the long term. You can date while dialing in your meds. Start small. Start slow. Check in with yourself. Also, feel free to be open about this. It doesn't have to be date one, but don't wait too long. If they are against meds, let them be. They are not for you. However, you may find someone who is on their own journey and maybe even can help you by offering their own experiences.


username_blahblah_

Thank you - I have a tendency to take my thoughts too far down the line, so baby steps is a great reminder.


xXJustDanielleXx

Honestly and communication are important in relationships and when changing meds.


immawatersign

Going through the same thing. For me personally I realized taking a dating pause was the healthiest thing I could do for myself. Dating is a huge anxiety/OCD trigger for me, so giving myself the space and time to get in a good place mentally first is my priority.


ClassyNerdLady

If you are that worried about it, I would wait until you have passed the adjustment period. You will be in a better mindset. My adjustment periods included frequent, random crying spells. I can’t imagine if I had tried to go on a date during that period. I would have ended up sobbing into my side salad or something.


username_blahblah_

lol, no one needs a tear filled salad.


ClassyNerdLady

Brain chemicals are weird and when you start messing with them it gets weirder. Once during my adjustment period I dropped a spoon on the ground and had a full on meltdown. 10 minutes later I picked the spoon up, washed it in my kitchen sink, and thought “Huh… that was an overreaction. Whoops.”


username_blahblah_

I get it. First time I started a script my running faucet gave me a panic attack. Not okay haha. Thankfully, my doctor lowered my dose and I took baby steps to ramp up again.


3rdDegreeMusic

Personally, I didn’t date during that time. I also wouldn’t date if I changed prescriptions. I don’t even know what would happen if I was in a healthy relationship. I am super sensitive to changes and I am not reliable in those times. I get everyone is different but typically if it works, it’s not a super long timeframe, and if it isn’t and you have to continue to adjust or change meds, that can definitely throw anyone off. However, you can understand your level of comfort way more than an outsider on Reddit so if you feel ready, go for it. I also recommend disclosing what is going on, unless you truly feel it will never affect your partner (assuming you are looking for something long term). Know that some people will not want to deal with it.


Pristine-Aide5350

I just don’t think what’s meant for us will pass is that easily. Just relax and don’t worry so much about making something happen. Become aware of what’s in your control and what isn’t and don’t be hard on yourself.


Harambe-2036

As someone who experienced the on/off SSRI trial runs (and ended up going without) you being happy and healthy once you find what medication works for you will ultimately be the best thing. It’s OK if you miss something due to not being in the right headspace while figuring out what works for you because the eventual end goal/result with be significantly better! Be patient with yourself and don’t beat yourself up for having bad days. It’s a part of the healing process.


username_blahblah_

Great points - thank you!


Weshnon

So why do you want to date right now? Serious question, really ask yourself exactly why you want that shit on top of all the rest?


username_blahblah_

Because I am ready. It has taken me years to get to this point. My meds have been a huge help and I overall feel good and ready, just need a few tweaks. I recognize that process will likely add extra bumps to the road, but still want to be on that road even if I have to take it slower.


Agitated_Awakening

I don’t understand how you can be *good and ready*, yet you are still aware that you *need a few tweaks*? Those individual statements contradict each other. As someone who dealt with an abusive childhood, then an abusive marriage....your eagerness to start dating when you are not mentally ready worries me. I feel you are setting yourself up to overlook potential red flags and settle for sub-par partners because you are tired of being alone. I think it’s in the best interest of your mental health to wait until you are 110% mentally healthy. Becoming invested in someone who isn’t a worthy partner (so that you aren’t alone) could send you 10 steps backwards in your mental health journey.


Weshnon

You have to still ask yourself what exactly you have to offer to a potential partner.


ChurchofCaboose1

I'd suggest you try to wait until you are used to your meds and know how they affect you. It seems you could unintentionally put yourself into situations you don't want and giving yourself some time to adjust to your new meds could be the way to go.


Allison87

Talk to your doctor before you make changes to your medication. Don’t make sudden changes. Most people are understanding when I tell them I’m on antidepressants, especially since I’m in a fairly good place now. Don’t worry too much.


-sry-

If it is SSRI (the most common antidepressant) then you should not worry at all. It should not affect your mood in any significant way. Be wary of nose bleeding though haha!


PunkyxBrewsterr

Bruh, what? SRIs can kill your libido, cause anorgasmia, make you gain shit tons of weight, make you sweat like a hog, and make you a very "blah" person because it tampers your other emotions. These things will affect your mood and behavior patterns. I support people taking any medicine they need but to brush off someone's concern about the side effects as "that won't actually happen" is not helpful here because the OP is clearly worried about if it does happen.


username_blahblah_

Thank you, 100%. I have enough experience with my meds to know that all the above side effects are very true. So, with that + dating, looking tips on how to handle. Guess good for the other person who has had a smoother journey journey!


-sry-

The only side effects I have are: I bleed a lot (A LOT) whenever I accidentally injure myself, regular headaches and now I have nose bleeding 2-3 times a week. But the positive effect from SSRI is so good that I do not bothered with that. It even fixed my ED problem!


username_blahblah_

Congrats, but yeah, the SSRIs symptoms for me go beyond a headache. The poster above nailed what the symptoms are for me.


SwimmingLanguage1756

Have you had this adressed by your doctor?


Thats-Just-My-Face

Wow, good for you on the ED. Sexual dysfunction is one of the most common side effects of SSRIs, so it's nice to hear it had the opposite effect on you!


-sry-

I would say even more. My ED was so bad that pills had absolutely no effect. I checked my blood, hormones went to the urologist and it seems everything was in order. Then I started to take SSRI and in about a month I started to experience morning wood again. My mood is much better, no suicidal thoughts, I am more productive, I easily fall asleep, I procrastinate less, my absenteeism is disappeared. It is a miracle drug for me. It transformed me from a husk to a happy person with a bonner.


Ok-Top-9501

That's not necessarily true, sorry. Even with SSRI there can be physical and mental changes when you start new medication or change the dosis. The effects are temporary though, if they are not is time to contact your doctor again!