T O P

I missed this in health class

I missed this in health class

HippieGrannie1966

Lmao! Light and oxygen! Women be growing trees in their vaginas hahahahaha


Munshar

Photosynthesis


quasi_aesthetic

This is what you get when you don't educate people about sex. When she was younger, a friend of mine thought you got pregnant from kissing. True story. Edit: She was 17


MisterBumpingston

I mean, I thought babies were jigsaw puzzles that my parents bought at the shop. But that was my 3 year old logic.


quasi_aesthetic

Yeah, she was 17.


MisterBumpingston

[_I don’t want to live on this planet anymore_](https://youtu.be/CUcLWD_4qjQ)


Pete_maravich

I worked with a girl that ignorant


HippieGrannie1966

Lol!


ckm509

The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell!


arkofindifference

Photosyntheclits


RJBailleaux

Chlorophyll. More like borophyll.


Elfhoe

That would explain my x’s bush.


WimbleWimble

The confusion is understandable. He asks women to sleep with him, and they say "leaf me alone"


HippieGrannie1966

🤣


Carnator369

Maybe he is a step or two higher than just a tree 'hugger'.


i-fing-love-games

lol tru


Bilaal98

Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.


melmilo

Lol that made me burst out laughing


Bluberrypotato

So abortions aren't "killing babies" they're killing trees?


bartlet62

Tell me you're a virgin incel without telling me you're a virgin incel.


PinkWytch

You're probably right about this guy. That being said... Sadly, there are married men who do not know how female anatomy works and would believe the light and oxygen thing. I had a male coworker who had three daughters who thought you could hold menstrual blood in like pee.


GerFubDhuw

There are married women who have no idea too. Health class is important.


PinkWytch

This is true and that saddens and angers me.


bartlet62

That's sad and surprising.


here4apuntime2

Tbh, i would say he's more misinformed


Beeezledrop

My sperm is afraid of the dark. If imma get someone pregnant I need a nightlight on.


Carnator369

Is that why my neighbour shoved a light bulb up his arse?


Beeezledrop

Did the bulb light up? If it did he'd be like an anal Uncle Fester. 💡


hoytlancaster

Reminds me of the dude who only had sex at night because he thought his sperm were sleeping.


Boring_Concentrate74

Don’t forget to water it


i-fing-love-games

very important


Boring_Concentrate74

You need photosynthesis to get pregnant evidently…learn something new everyday


ButChooAintBonafide

Cervixynthesis more like... ... don't worry, I'm leaving.


Boring_Concentrate74

Haha! I can dig it


[deleted]

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Boring_Concentrate74

But they do need light for photosynthesis which this guy says is needed as well…


[deleted]

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idiotapplepie

This man has stupid


CocoWarp

I'm going to call people jass instead of stupid from now 😂


idiotapplepie

Lmao


CocoWarp

Love your user name 😂


triestokeepitreal

It took me all day to read this because I was busy getting light and air to my vajayjay. That's really what we're doing when we say we're 'busy'.


greatpoomonkey

This explains why the glow-in-the-dark lightsaber condoms were such a bad idea! 🤦‍♂️ It's so obvious now, they were only making the sperm stronger


Jyobachah

hulk sperm?


Relevant_Group_7441

Hopefully he never figures out how to actually get a woman pregnant. I could only imagine the sex talk he’d have with his kid(s) 🤦🏻


Grayson_DH

that man really looks like someone who knows how a vagina works


ZogNowak

Light??? WTF? Why would he even THINK that??


i-fing-love-games

cuz its true lmao


Annual_Tradition2982

No it's not lmao


SL__

Pfft Clearly you guys haven't had sex ed yet


prplehailstorm

Don’t forget to pick up your pregnancy patio inversion table ladies. Nothing says a healthy baby like your vajayjay saying salutations to the sun so you can help your little sprout grow


ProbablyNOTaCOP41968

Vaginas are photosynthetic, somebody tell Ben Shapiro


[deleted]

[удалено]


ProbablyNOTaCOP41968

Holy shit I did I thing


thebenshapirobot

Why won't you debate me? ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: feminism, climate, patriotism, novel, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)


ProbablyNOTaCOP41968

Oh wow. Okay then benshapirobot, debate it is. The topic? Patriotism.. *eagle cries in the distance*


thebenshapirobot

*Judeo-Christian values made The West great.* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: dumb takes, climate, civil rights, covid, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)


ProbablyNOTaCOP41968

Idk if you count facesitting a judeo-Christian value, but I’m pretty sure America is leading the world in eating ass. Next topic.


thebenshapirobot

*Most Americans when they look around at their lives, they think: I'm not a racist, nobody I know is a racist, I wouldn't hang out with a racist, I don't like doing business with racists--so, where is all the racism in American society?* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: sex, patriotism, civil rights, novel, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)


ProbablyNOTaCOP41968

Clearly you’ve only ever payed for gas at the pump. Next topic.


thebenshapirobot

*This is what the radical feminist movement was proposing, remember? Women need a man the way a fish needs a bicycle... unless it turns out that they're little fish, then you might need another fish around to help take care of things.* -Ben Shapiro ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: dumb takes, novel, climate, feminism, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)


ProbablyNOTaCOP41968

….. Ben Shapiro


thebenshapirobot

I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this: > Palestinian Arabs have demonstrated their preference for suicide bombing over working toilets. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: civil rights, sex, climate, feminism, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)


thebenshapirobot

Why won't you debate me? ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: sex, feminism, novel, covid, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)


sroush77

That guys vote counts the same as mine....


Smallfrygrowth

I didn’t know Greg Abbott goes by Jass.


allybra

Missed the chapter on vaginal photosynthesis. Hey, maybe some nerd out there can tackle climate change by inventing some carbon and methane trapping vaginas. Gonna have fields and fields of them, just like windmills ( wind turbines for nonTrump speakers)


daaaayyyy_dranker

Have you seen his Twitter?? The dude is a sociopath


DanES104

lmao. he's committed alright


ipayinexposure

Shit, why did no-one tell me about this? I'm about to save money on contraceptives


Cordrone

Tell me you were home schooled without telling me you were home schooled.


Carnator369

Putting aside all the biological inaccuracies, dude clearly has failed to experience the increased pleasure and intensity of sex with the woman's legs pressed together. Smh.


SnooCapers9313

As a guy I still can't remember half the sex talks I got at school but damn. Also a guy commenting on a woman's anatomy? He might as well say periods aren't that bad. I can't imagine what women ho through and therefore never claim to know. But if women could do that you'd have a safer place to grow weed


OlePlumberJoe

**You can put your weed in there**


AtoriasDarkwalker999

I didn’t think I could lose any more faith in humanity, yet this post managed to squeeze a little more out of me


Swarley001

Don’t forget to water it


cfreymarc100

Problem is you believe school is always right


MisterBumpingston

Funniest part is “That’s just basic science” was cropped out at the end.


the_stary_night

In times like this I really understand that saying, " it is better to be thought of as an idiot while staying quite then to speak and remove all doubts ".


meme_a_licious

Lmao


JenniLamb007

Oy vey and these people reproduce too.


alphabet_assassin

Get some nitrate compost too. Very important in growing human fetuses 🪴


pikeandshot1618

Oh no! You’re low on oxygen! Get the air hose!


zatch17

Someone needs to thin the fucking herd


Ophelia550

I do not have enough fucks to deal with this today.


Muted-Landscape-2717

So do mouth breathers need to Permanently vent t hier brains to ensure enough no oxygen gets there


kcooke7919

Tell me this isn't real???? My eyes are bleeding after reading this crap.


xVocalTestx

I mean


ArukaAravind

I had a friend who thought that child birth happened through a woman's asshole. I mean all the symptoms were there; She strains so hard to deliver; in the hospital they give enema before delivery etc. I thought that was the height of stupidity regarding sex education. Now I am not sure. Compared to this guy, my man is quite a logical dude.


Profoundpronoun

I can’t tell if this dude’s misogyny outweighs his stupidity. It really close. I go back and forth.


MisterBumpingston

Need light otherwise how in the hell would the sperm know where to go in the dark tunnel of love?? /s just in case


CocoWarp

Photosynthesis for the win 😄😄😄


Cissyhayes

I'm starting to understand why its called a Secret Garden


Skabbtanten

Wait the fuck a bit. So you're telling me I could've skipped all the hassle using condoms by just banging in the dark?? Or go to space and bang? Damn.


wigzell78

"You need light..." quote from someone very dim.


ComprehensiveBox4297

That guy is as stupid as his haircut and facial hair.


Puzzled_Ad_4063

Technically you can have your legs together if you’re doing doggy…


Pete_maravich

This is why morons shouldn't be allowed to discuss reproductive rights. If you don't know how getting pregnant works your voice doesn't matter


LynaMoon

Wha..... wait, is this..... is this FR RN??? Have women's vaginas magically become plants???


Ratel91

Penis


Lucy_Lastic

Wait, what? Are we plants now?


gmabarrett

So there!


ZeDahu

Welcome to the "Kids are fucking plants" episode!


SargeLausageCream

Even though I ain't religious, this dude made me go "Dear God help us"


spannerNZ

Meanwhile, after a gaffe by a member of parliament during a life Covid briefing, NZ is having a "spread your legs, not Covid-19" campaign.


Smart_Hotdog

and the chlorophyll turns the vagina green


infinitbullets

This guy has never seen an actual vagina. Probably never will.


jkstpierre

I’m pretty sure he’s trolling the woman who responded to him. It’s more likely his original comment saying to keep “their legs closed” just means for women to not have sex to avoid pregnancy. It’s a fairly common saying


codeinekiller

Is he real? Holy hell


Capsule_CatYT

Can’t believe school hides this from you.


riceisnice29

Does he just think rapists are incapable of moving a woman’s legs? Or that rapists are incapable of threatening women into opening their legs?


JoshKnowsWhatYouDid

Premium Ken M


FriendRaven1

My god this actually made me facepalm.


Eshwaaa

This dude fr think vaginas operate on photosynthesis?


BrilliantOccasion109

I think his mom kept her legs closed for too long depriving him of oxygen


Potential_Macaron973

She brought up the closed leg theorem. He then exaggerated it. Its sarcasm 101. Do people really need to put down the /s in obvious cases. It ruins the whole joke when you do that, and you are only doing is to help people that you would never talk to in real life...


Ophelia550

You're so smart. Tell everyone.


Ophelia550

I'm sure you think that.


Ophelia550

Maybe you should look at this guy's Twitter, smart pasta person


Potential_Macaron973

I'm not going to install Twitter


Ophelia550

OMG it's 2021 you goofball. Don't make a declaration about someone's intent if you refuse to even look into who the person is. Refuse to install Twitter. Lol.


A-le-Couvre

Can we remove his name and handle already? I bet he had a lot of harassment after this got viral the first time, and I've seen it being posted and going viral 5 times since then.


Pale-Office-133

Both are idiots and both have a valid point.