T O P
  • By - 1q8b

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Turbulent_Cat_5731

Best day at my crappy retail job as a teenager was when a guy came in looking for some fleece fabric. I asked what kind and he said, "Well, it's not actually for me, it's for this guy," and turned out a small material pouch. A joey somersaulted out, stood up and started checking the place out. Cutest little thing.


Bradisaurus

When I was young my family hand raised a Joey as his mum was hit by a car. He would climb into anything resembling a pouch. My mum used old woollen jumpers and stitched the bottom closed. We then hung then from door handles around the house for him to rest in, he loved them!


TheGizmodian

That's honestly adorable. I'm glad he's got a nice sanctuary life as a good stud boy.


delirament

What happened in the end? Did you release him when he got bigger?


Bradisaurus

He went to a better place... By which I mean he went to an animal sanctuary where he was put in with about 20 females and was the only male!


Ineedmoreparts

So he's now living his best life!


iamgoals1119

Unless he’s gay


noiwontpickaname

We are talking about roos not swans


Forgot-My-Name_again

Hey, could be giraffes we're not talking about too. They gave a ton of gay sex


noiwontpickaname

Look I think we should just look at giraffes with their 12 foot long weird neck arteries and their ability to aim from that height at all.


iamgoals1119

Touché


RubAggressive3520

Leave swans out of this


TheStoolSampler

Death by kangersnu


DillieDally

How cute! I assume you're in Australia, yeah? Because I think the Wow factor is like a whole lot higher if it happened somewhere other than AUS


ayriuss

"Yea this little guy jumped into my underwear while I was shitting at the airport, so I just smuggled him out in my pants!"


InfernalAltar

Is that an exotic species or are you happy to see me?


waldo_wigglesworth

Yes, he is exotic. I call him Joey. Here's a photo of him next to the kangaroo.


l00koverthere1

por que no los dos?


Ponycat123

Brilliant, made me lol


wallysparksforpres

"And when customs asked me if I happened to be smuggling a juvenile kangaroo out of the country by concealing it in my pants, I just smiled and said thank you very much."


sweensolo

I'd just smile and give you a Vegemite sandwich, but to each their own.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hitch_Medberger

Service kangaroos would be awesome. Wish you could train them for those types of things. Imagine having a service animal that would also box the shit outta some jackass trying to fuck with you.


r_kay

1. Go to Florida 2. Get Service gator 3. That's it. Mission accomplished.


Sidekick_monkey

I trained Boxxy to do just that.


shimmyshimmyshoes

or you'll end up in kangaroo court


OliviaWG

I once appraised a house with indoor kangaroos, in SW Missouri. People be crazy.


AFriendOfTheBees

God I hope they were actually wallabies. A fucking full size eastern grey in a house would be a VERY small house indeed...


OliviaWG

I wish they had been. *edited to add, I am a huge animal lover and am pretty good at recognizing species, these were red kangaroos.


Midan71

The wow factor would still be high AUS.


queefer_sutherland92

This brings me so much joy


Idea-Warm

*joey


jokzard

How you doin.


charliespider

How Roo'd


AbsentAsh

Nailed it.


CYKO_11

Hopefully not


gmanz33

Hopfully so.


Ephemeral_Wolf

Stop fucking the kangaroos.


SpeakToMePF1973

Scroo'd it.


Grimey_Rick

Heard this in Jar Jar's voice


00-AdAstra-00

Is that you, Uncle Joey?


Al_E_Borland

Cut. It. Out.


frustratedbuffalo

Marpoopial


jst3w

"How roo doin'?" - Joey


torbiefur

His pants now.


tyleritis

Yeah I don’t think I’d pull those back up to my crotch


Mycabbages0929

Good point. I guess I’m realistically dumping the joey out, taking off my underwear, and just pulling my shorts up and going commando


whyareisamoftheyes

Chew toys


Slimh2o

Fleas, maybe.


Sk3pticat

“Hmm, smells like balls in here.” - Joey


Majestic-Unicorn33

Snug as a bug in a rug.


1i_rd

Snug as a 'roo when you poo


LanguageLiving9142

Is that a kangaroo in your pants or are you happy to see me


Enjoying_A_Meal

On that note... what do you think the inside of a kangaroo's pouch smells like?


Crepes_for_days3000

Apparently like this guy's underwear.


Suspicious-Return-54

Under-roos 🦘🦘🦘


Living_on_Tulsa_Time

Perfect!!!! Thanks for making me laugh!


LanguageLiving9142

Like a gamey leather


overtoke

ham wallet


TaylorSwiftsClitoris

Strange but true: it smells like when the Scholastic Book Fair would come to your school.


RRenigma

This got a laugh out of me gosh damn it


BatangTundo3112

If someone tells me that there's a kangaroo in his underpants, i wouldn't believe it and is lying. But fuck me im so wrong.🙃


McBoogerBalls69420

Yes


rusttynail

That's adorable but Idk if I'd want something with claws that close to my exposed nuts.


Slimh2o

You got that right! Why the hell does he have a roo in bathroom in the 1st place? I mean, I know it's Australia, but still


McMatey1992

They can open doors you know?


Stanwich79

Clever girl.


ExpeditionSierra

I know Alan grant says raptors turned into birds. But I think they turned in kangaroos.


SquidwardsKeef

I'd see a fight between a jacked up kangaroo and a raptor.


superbal-117

Pretty sure you can in at least a couple of the Tekken games.


Whitealroker1

I was jerking off and a kitten attacked where all the motion was and kicked the hell out of my balls. Orgasmed. Didn’t care.


ForePony

Huh, didn't think this would be a response to a comment about Tekkin, but here we are.


posting_drunk_naked

There's probably an Ark mod for that!


poptartzz

What would you need a mod for? Both exist in the base game.


Slimh2o

That little squirt? Damn!


doomgiver98

They're that smart?


McMatey1992

A lot of animals are smarter then we give them credit for. Maybe not with a lot of finesse, but yeah they can figure out a door after a few tries. If it was a weird handle or way of opening maybe not, but just a knob or push handle then yeah give it a few tries and it’ll eventually get it


PN_Guin

Rough recall of an american park ranger quote on the topic of bear proof garbage bins: *There is a lot of intellectual overlap between the smartest bear and the dumbest tourist*


McMatey1992

I’ve literally seen it in Alberta when on vacation. Tourist that was in the same hotel, could not figure out the bear proof dumpster and left trash by it. 30mins later a bear shows up, rips apart the trash bag then opens up the dumpster and has a grand old time lol


FaeryCourt

Seen bears in Minnesota open car doors and rummage through looking for candy bars and lost french fries. Sounds cute but it was scary AF. And, if you lock your doors and they smell food, they'll just rip them off.


ThouKnave

And a lot of humanity is dumber than we choose to admit. You doubt my words? Work support for a shift.


McMatey1992

I work for a military, my current position is doing IT support for my unit because i’m releasing and they needed a guy to fill the spot for a few months. My god, born in the 90s, I grew up with computers and understood their importance at a young age. As well the security concepts with protecting your information online. The amount of younger members coming through that have no concepts of password security or basic computer concepts blows my mind. I never thought i’d need to train a 20yr old on how to send an email in my life


ThouKnave

Just. Damn. You know what, I can't do it from here ...or I'd buy you a round in sympathy. I'm pretty sure some of these people got their idea of a secure password by watching Spaceballs years ago. "What a coincidence, that's the same code as my luggage!"


McMatey1992

Part of my job is doing spot inspections. It’s really concerning when i turn over a COs or SSMs keyboard and i see the simplest password on a post it note Like last week it happened again, Officer cleared out of our unit and i had to setup the office for an incoming OC. Flip the keyboard over to check for damages and their login and password is right there. Like come on, just do better


TheVector

A roo in the loo


[deleted]

My cat does this.


JoeCoolsCoffeeShop

I was gonna say…the answer in 99% of these cases is: It’s Australia.


fellowsquare

That's your answer.... Its Australia.


kjacobs03

They keep the snakes, spiders, crocodiles, sharks, dingoes, etc away


alicat2308

Kangaroo joeys are very clingy! They are one of the most labour-intense native animals for rescuers and rehabilitators to hand raise because they need a lot of body contact, a lot of reassurance and affection. They don't do well without it, and can get very stressed and not thrive, basically. So a wildlife rehabber having the joey in the bathroom with then is not that unusual.


Shaking-N-Baking

Do you not keep your nuts in the bowl?


McMatey1992

I keep mine in a jar of pickled eggs if that helps?


rusttynail

No they usually sway just a couple inches above the floor.


BigSharpBlue

I wouldn’t want to put my nuts into pants that a wild animal was getting germs on.


Mange-Tout

I’m sure wild animals aren’t thrilled about rolling around on your skid marks either.


TheIntangibleOne

Or are they


theslowcosby

You shit, I sit


GentlePersuAZN

Mom, you need to wash your pouch. It smells like ass


funk_your_face

I’ve never wondered what they do in the pouch all day until now. They just scratch themselves and nap?


GentlePersuAZN

Like crawling into a fleshy hammock


[deleted]

No but they do shit in their mothers pouches and the mom cleans it out with her tongue


funk_your_face

Yum


Random_Idiotic_Alien

Wot de fok?


masrita74

https://youtu.be/lbGpZS7TYeI You're welcome


Stay-Thirsty

We all know that feeling. “The world sucks and I just want to go back to being a kid where people will take care of me.”


SleepyBeast89

Hey you got something in your underroos


NICEnEVILmike

I keep hearing about all these brands coming out with men's pouch underwear. Is this what they're talking about?


value_meal_papi

Hurry joe tell the manager there’s a Joey in the John getting inside Jonny’s pants. Geez Jenny, that’s the janitor’s job!


zombieskip62

this can happen in Texas also, just usually an armadillo or a Ford F150


GrimGrittles

How has no one mentioned that he's in what is assumed to be a public bathroom with some liquid on the floor, and he's in his SOCK's!


rgbarometer

If it were a cat, this would fit in r/catsinpants


the_lovely_otter

There really is a subreddit for everything, and I'm here for it.


Chip_Farmer

/r/offcenterbuttholes


Indescriptname1

I know what I have to do but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it


Kalarys

I honestly think it should be cross posted regardless


ShadowV123

Kangoroos are probably Australian cats I dunno


captain_ender

Trampoline cats


nhlcyclesophist

r/properanimalnames


DirtyTooth

more like r/mensfeetandunderwear


Trumpeter08

I read that as "cat sin pants"


proxyproxyomega

interesting that 99% of photos are white dudes with hairy legs. almost as if all other types of legs are too shy to post such pic online.


lalalane76

Poo with a roo.


_ktran_

Mommy?


jHugley328

I call bullshit. That doesnt look like the ceiling. You guys are suppose to be upside down.


happyklam

I call double call double bullshit because there aren't enough things in frame that could easily kill a man. Where's all the car-sized spiders and drop bears?


kdotdash

Obviously the spider is under the toilet seat waiting for the right moment to strike.


pantless_vigilante

Actually the guy taking a shit is a spider


hkimkmz

I'm sitting in the toilet as I read this. Made me clench my hole shut.


thatredlad

The spider will just make a new hole.


Sometimesokayideas

Why do you think the clip is so short? Drop bear probably landed on him... As for the spiders you're a bit off, they arent all that big, in fact *most* deadly spiders could fit under the toilet seat and youd never know until they bit your balls.


Hoggs

Tell me you've never been to Australia without saying you've never been to Australia. Obviously we put flooring tiles on the ceiling, or our boots would ruin it.


nightwalkerxx

*smirk with nose exhale*


SquirrelDynamics

Just the nose. No mouth.


turbulent_farts

wait til it wants some milk while in the pouch


fire_goddess11

Ha! I love r/catsinpants I had no idea we needed an r/roosinpants


ArtemisArt

Welp...guess your it's mommy now


Thin_Raspberry_4246

Dropping off a dingy and this happens. Worse then someone knocking on the door.


theundercoverpapist

"It smells like sweaty balls in here, Mom!"


Chadacas

Free?


Throwawaybibbi

If that happened to me, I'd still be in the bathroom with my panties around my ankles. Until that sweet baby decided to leave or until it grew up.


JimJohnes

Open Door policy, I see


Medium_Yam6985

Why is no one asking how an animal got into the bathroom?? What if it wasn’t a cute animal? Don’t like 75% of animals in Australia have a method to kill you?


SomeRandomYob

That includes the cute ones...


zr0skyline

Clearly you see it hiding waiting for him to pull his shorts up


FuckMe-FuckYou

Waiting to pounce...


Ardvark1115

& kangaroos too, because if the mother is nearby, he's dead.


snay1998

Oh that cute animal is getting into a comfy position to punch his balls out,that’s why the video stopped abruptly…the guys ded


AlexHimself

It looks like a public restroom. Oftentimes the door is propped open during the day.


Mastertimelord

This is why I’m scrolling comments. How “typical” is this really? Do Roos just get into public restrooms on occasion? I saw a video a couple months ago of a larger one walking into a bar, but the bathroom should be closed off right? How’d a Joey get in?


Gilthoniel_Elbereth

It’s a joke, no one really thinks this is typical.


Maltitol

OP probably works at a zoo or animal rehab facility, m8.


queefer_sutherland92

So the thing about Australians is that we think it’s hilarious to fuck with people.


Cocomorph

Many years ago, in 1997 or so, my Aussie friend told me about drop bears. I did a web search for them (I wonder what I used? Lycos? Altavista?), skeptical, and a *goddamn Australian government* website confirmed they existed. You bastards and your drop bears.


MegaWaffle-

Why not a Joey? Just because we call it a John doesn’t mean it’s exclusive!


EvilRedRobot

Experienced pickpocketer right there. Check your pockets, and his too!


Fletchx

I believe he's wearing Underoos


degaybilized

At least it makes sense when joeys do it


Ehldas

How come there's a budgie in here already?!


Ynys_Wydryn

The lesson here is never pull your pants down in Australia


mattnich

More wholesome than I was expecting. Was waiting for a giant spider to appear and ruin everything.


Repulsive_Lake_4149

'I wanna sleep mommy'


GenericTombo

That a kangaroo in your pants or you just happy to see me?


luckilynumber7

Congrats,now you have kangaroo for a dick


Captain_Waffle

When I stayed in Australia the girls found a snake in their bathroom. Wasn’t nearly as cuddly.


cyberentomology

That’s a Kangapoo


tarheelbandb

"Joey got in my pants" is a great excuse for how you gave your girl the clap.


RedDragons8

*Pulls pants up* "Crikey theres a 'roo in me underdaks!"


JudgeGusBus

“Ugh, this pouch smells like balls.”


creeperhead_

That is the testiculosoler, it's like the chupacabra, but instead of sucking goat blood this australian version hunts the scent of unshaved balls...


bigfootgoon

So frackin cute


geksi

Ok that’s awesome 👏 😄


taktician

The loo roo strikes again


Cashew-Gesundheit

"What's wrong with your pouch?" "I like yours better"


danger_zone123

Based in the title and the small screen, thought the bulbous hairy thing at the beginning of the video was something else for a second and was very concerned.


chief_sitass

Crikey! Look at the size of that didgeridoo!


Starrion

Are kangaroo infestations common in Aussie homes?


scottyboy359

All fun and games till the little dude thinks your dong is a nip.


JohnnyCenter

The one time saying "Joey saw my dick" ain't gay


FroZen_Lucky

Damn you guys got Kangaroos in your bathrooms? What do you use them for?


ComprehensiveAd8821

Ait little man if you wanna play like this you are going to my ass


StarClutcher

If he shits, I sits?


JDaleFranklin

I think this means they guy has to give the kangaroo his house now.


Nex_Lvl_Gamin

Really caught you with your pants down, didn’t it?


jmens14

Weird kink but, you do you.


The_Brain_Fuckler

I didn’t know my cat was Australian.


philosolondon

All fun and games until it judo kicks him in the bean bag..


Spice-Weasel

It's simple. I see a pouch. I climb in.


ChaosStar95

This would be a shitty way to find out you're allergic to kangaroos


hobo_champ

It's that a joey in your pants it are you just happy to see me.


reconstruct94

What? You made a pouch.


DamonFields

Is that a wallaby in your pants, big boy?


SaboLeorioShikamaru

Seems as good a pouch as any. I like the cut of this kid's jib


Muted-Ad-6567

Pull it up, no balls


destinyxarrives

No amount of convincing in the world will make me believe this isn’t every day in Australia


WTP1981

Replace kangaroo with kitten or puppy for the rest of the world.


FrustratedHuggy

I have so many questions; why don’t you have shoes on? Why is there a kangaroo in the bathroom? Why do you need to drop the pants all the way down?


sbowesuk

Wear a thong. Problem solved.


KiloWasTaken

We're talking about Australians, that means something completely different.


sbowesuk

Wearing a flip-flop as underwear doesn't sound comfortable, but then I've never tried so who am I to judge.