Armenian Military

Armenian Military


When your first love is synchronized swimming but you need to join Army.


I'm still waiting until the US actually does a military parade so we can make parallels to the Soviet union


It’s too expensive and our tanks would destroy the roads


That would indicate our roads aren't already destroyed from decades of neglect.


And that parades are too expensive for *the military*


More like the military doesn't move unless someone is getting a contract or just rich in general. If they can waste some missles while the march, maybe.


We finished a war, so now there's budget to,um, fix the roads so we can drive tanks over them and make the roads the same kind of messed up they already are?


Don't need a tank for that


Would it though? I would think tank treads would distribute the load really well.


Yes tanks are stupid heavy and thanks to the physics of tanks when they turn all the force gets concentrated in the back and can really fuck shit up.


Just have to put on the parade treads.


The US did one in 1991 after the Gulf War.


Kinda surprised HW would be into that.


Not really. We do our military differently. Traditionally it's done when the troops come home after a war. A celebration and honor of them. Just troops walking down roads, not a display of hardware and military power.


Yeah we save the hardware displays for sports games.


And movies


Just wait until the Afghan parade, that should be better than the Vietnam war parade. /s


you forget so soon that Trump wanted one? And the generals told him they got better shit to do?


Yeah because it's a waste of time and money.


He wanted one because the French have them


Freedom parades.


Fuck that.


Military parades are to show off your military might. America does this by drone striking civilians.


These are my awards, mother... from Army.


Marching band, definitely marching band here.


When you finally win a game of solitaire.


This is a drill team. I assure you it's not part of normal training. Our militaries have them too.


And just like that they won the war without firing a shot.


If only wars could be settled by synchronized dance battle


[Battle of the thermopylae 480 bc](https://youtu.be/oDWyrJhItTw)


Jesus I had almost completely forgotten about this movie


Great and relevant find!


For awhile, in the 2000's this is how gangs solved their problems. They used to fight and kill each other. Then out of no where, they started to "get served". Immediately gangs started dropping their violent members who weren't coordinated enough to pull off complicated dance routines and sing. Unfortunately, those dropped members all seemed to fond one another, start a new gang and just beat the shit out of those dancing crews and the rest is a horrific legacy written in blood on the streets of Detroit, Chicago, St. Louis, Gary, etc...


“All right, here’s the 411, folks. Say some gangster is dissin’ your fly girl. You just give ‘em one of these.”


Exceeeept they got UAVed to shit in the first land war in like 20 years to end with a secession of land in Nagorno-Karabakh


And good thing they did since they were occupying it illegally.


Glad this isn't a politics board. Fuck you. Fuck turkey. Fuck Azerbaijan. Fuck Erdoan. And fuck your opinion because it's wrong. Artsakh is Armenian and should be lawfully incorporated into the country proper.




Could you imagine being 20 years old sent off to war. You’re a little nervous yet still excited because this is the moment you’ve been training for. Your commander wakes you’re battalion up to give you a peptalk and prepare you for battle. So you and your fellow soldiers eat a early breakfast and march out to the battlefield. You all lineup with your rifles ready to start your routine. That’s when you see the other army coming toward you the faint sound mechanical infantry and a few Apache helicopters. So you and the boys start twirling your rifles and flipping your hats but that’s when you hear the first explosion. Your eardrums explode confused and scared the whole area comes to life with explosions and fire. You quickly piss your pants and try to moonwalk off the battlefield you see a young American marine charging you . You try to do a quick spin and twist of your hat but that’s when the marine shoved his bayonet straight in your neck. You lie on the ground unable to scream choking on your own blood confused scared. As you slowly bleed out on the cold hard ground choking on your blood. Your ears violently ringing your piss pants are now cold and you wonder why your government hired a dance instructor as a military commander. To be continued. From the perspective of Billy a gay American marine that wanted to join the Navy but wasn’t smart enough. His father kicked him out of his house when he was 16 because dad caught him whacking off to American style Homo wrestling you know when the undertaker throws mankind off the top of the Hell in the cell cage! So Billy grew up in the Midwest American town population roughly population of 2200. Early on in Billy’s life he realized he’s different and did well to hide it from his alcoholic father . If his father ever found out he surely would disown him . Billy never had many friends growing up because everyone in the town knew his secret that his own father couldn’t see . Billy’s only real friend was Steve he was a few years older and went off to the navy when billy was 15 . This made billy very depressed so Billy’s only escape was thinking about how fast he was going to leave this town never to look back once he was 18. After his father kicked him out he spent two years living on the streets selling his body at truck rest stops. Then when he turned 18 with a hart filled with rage and anger he went to the navy recruiter office only to be turned away by his old friend who’s now a navy recruiter. Billy wasn’t gonna let that stop him if he couldn’t join the Navy he was still going to find a way out. So Billy went down to the Marines recruiting office the recruiter realize he had a real dummy here so he signed him up real fast. After the first few months of Boot Camp Billy didn’t have time to look back he just trained and trained about different ways to kill a man. After the first couple years he was real first class cadet. He had a real aptitude for this kind of structure probably from all the years of a abusive relationship with his father. After about three years in the military he finally gets sent overseas to Armenia to train some of there cadets operation freedom dance . His whole envoy is flying in military fashion putting on a real show for the Armenians . It’s about 8 o’clock in the morning and his envoy is almost at the location for the training exercises. What Billy sees just on the edge of the horizon is a site unlike anything he’s ever seen before. 50,000 Armenians moving in unison like a giant human centipede guns twirling hats flaring and at one point they even do that wave thing with your arms. It’s mesmerizing for billy and he goes into a trance much like when he was a boy watching Wrestlemania hell in the cell. His commander turns and sees Billy with his pants down to his ankles violently beating it. So he charges over smacks Billy in the face and says what is your major malfunction. That triggers Billy to have a flashback of the faithful day when he beat his own father‘s head in with a hammer and ran off to live his life on the streets. Billy completely in raged and blind with fury quickly takes down his commander and stomp his neck just like he trained. Grabbing an rocket propelled grenade launcher and opening fire on the Armenian centipede dance party thing. He starts lobbing grenades as fast as he can grabs a rifle and charges straighten in as everybody else is mortified and frozen in terror . He quickly kills 1 2 3 Armenians and a few American Marines. Then spots one Armenian trying to moonwalk away from billy so he charges. Just before billy stabbed him in the neck with a bayonet he made eye contact and sees fear and wonder in that Armenian eyes. Two men at the apex of their abilities Billy realizes if his life went a little differently him and that Armenian could possibly be friends possibly lovers. His fellow Marines tackle him and subdue him and beat him just like his father did . Billy is quickly put before a military tribunal and they realize that his psych evaluation was overlooked by the recruiter so the recruiter could hit his quota. Billy spends the rest of his life in a military prison to wonder how different things would have been if his older friend Steve never went to the Navy.


“Can you imagine” …well now I can


I'm just glad this didn't end in The Undertaker throwing Mankind off Hell in a Cell.


I think you’re gonna like my new addition




I think they just blow people up with drones now.


What's the difference between a school and a terrorist camp? I don't know, I just fly the drone


I'm dying.


Thats cute


This is definitely impressive and very cool to watch…but there’s just something weird about soldiers of war practicing choreographed routines like this, like what’s the point? Shouldn’t they be focusing more on shooting targets or something?


It's to show discipline and coordination as well as a dick waving show for the brass I fucking hated doing shit like this and I can't speak for everyone else but I got the feeling it's universal


"Damn, gonna watch another bunch of rookies do their dance routine again. Well, at least I can sit in the shade..." - Some brass maybe


Dog and pony show


And in the end both parts are just humoring eachother instead of learning to be optimal soldiers.


Veteran here, can confirm D&C blows. I was a brigade command driver who always got tapped to be the brigade color guard for events. You spend days practicing but the brass only shows up to practice an hour or two before the ceremony. And it sucks twice as much if you have an office job because your work is just piling up the whole time you are there.


For all you silly-villains out there, D&C = "Drill and Ceremony."


Was a stand-in for change of command rehearsal. Several of us playing parts of the general/flag officers for the actual ceremony. Dumb fuck in charge had us repeatedly doing the entrance, march to positions on stage. After the sixth time I said, “you know, no matter how good we get at this today, it doesn’t make them any better tomorrow.” . We were dismissed shortly thereafter.


Dammit, just ONCE in my 8 years if a new commander had gotten up there and just said "I'm going to do everything I can to take care of our people. Dismissed" as their whole speech I would have followed that man or woman to the into the pits of hell. But noooooo, they gotta give a 35 minute speech while I stand in the sun in my damn dress uniform hoping I just have an aneurysm and die so I don't need to listen to empty platitudes anymore.


If you ever want to see your dream come true go to a jukendo (japanese bayonet martial art) thing. Most of the practitioners are military / ex. Almost invariably when the fancy guys get up to speak at the opening of tournaments and such the military guys start with "at ease" then say "fight hard, good luck, I'm out" and then are gone. The civilians that come to speak have a habit of leaving everyone at attention and then rambling on about stuff no one cares about for 5 minutes. Even funnier is the joint kendo/jukendo senior (50+ I think) tournament each year at the budokan. The old kendo guys have to sit in seiza (kneeling) while their people drone on. All the old jukendo guys sit cross legged and half of them openly just doze. 15 minutes of kneeling and everyone's legs are asleep, a lot of these guys are like 90. The kendo guys often need a wee bit of help getting up. The jukendo guys just need a neighbour poking them saying "wake up they're talking about you". ahahaha. \[I am biased obviously, but I think you'd enjoy knowing your dream does exist in a small part of the world\]


Sounds like somebody was trying to get bulletpoints for their OER


There’s always a few weirdos who live for D and C


like jrotc kids who join the military


Coordinated dick waving would be immensely more impressive.


And sexy


You know you are civilian when you read this and think, "why would they be waving their dicks for the horn section?"


As a former member of a brass band, they are probably just returning the gesture.


It's funny when they get handled by a shitty military from Azerbaijan though.


They essentially fought natos turkish army my g. And multiple experts have already stated that if the same attack was dealt on any European country, the results would be the same. Apparently not many countries are prepared to handle such a large and surprising blitzkrieg using 5th generation warfare.


This is concerning for sure. Turkey showed us how drones will change whole concept of modern war and still it feels like Europe is once again turning a blind eye in and let their armies go obsolete.


These aren't combat troops. This is their job. America has the Silent Drill Platoon. Drill and Ceremony is all they do.


Yup. My dad was in the army. Had the right height and (not sure) perhaps other attributes and they put him in the honor guard. Did all the ceremonial stuff, including watching over Robert Kennedy’s first grave after burial.


There's a good movie about the honor guard with James Earle Jones and I think James Caan. Garden of Stone. I don't remember any cool drill stuff but it's a good movie.


It's kind of a historical relic from when armies used to march in formation and needed to act as a single, cohesive unit. Even in modern militaries, things like this, shining shoes, and marching in formation are seen as a way to instill discipline and attention to detail. Also, these are often small units whose job is to perform displays like this. Your average soldier would not be doing this. Plus it looks really cool.


Take a bunch of clumsy kids, some of whom will struggle with left/right under the slightest stress and train them to do this achieves a couple of things. Confidence in yourself and a trust in the instructions given to you.


Eloquently said.


Because shooting isn't their job. Their job is doing this for events and making citizens go "woah". Have you ever seen the silent drill platoon? The Marines doing all the rifle flipping? Same thing for them. I think one of the biggest misconceptions is that all military personnel are just grunts. When actually a vast majority only pick up a rifle maybe once a year.


It's all training. It's like what we do to dogs. If you can teach them to dance you can teach them to war.


They need to be focusing on shooting down drones.


Seems like something a school club would do to get more members


Because humans are lovely and even when they're making war music and performance are essential to it.


Fun fact. This is actually entire Armenian military force.


Yeah neat dance guys.


When you cant beat the communists, join them


“Very pretty, Colonel, Very pretty, But, can they fight?”


I am guessing by the very terrible recent defeat to Azerbaijan that would be a not so much!


Considering they were completely outclassed technology wise I don’t think individual fighting ability had any bearing.


They were fighting modern Chinese drones with tanks from the 80s, so .. yeah it went about as well as you'd expect.


Chinese? What Chinese drones are you talking about?


I thought they were Turkish drones? Happy to be corrected though.


They wrre turkish and israeli drones, yes


Yup you're right - I was mixing up another article about Chinese drone sales to the middle east / Pakistan with Turkish / Israeli drones here.


In the future this is how war should be fought


Dance off's?


Dance off’s are for kids military do dance battles!


I salute your attention to detail. I support your name.


You just got served!!




Straight up Stomp the Yard style.


They gotta download more RAM to fix that lag phase


Well, they forgot to actually dive in the pool.


The Rocketts?


Aremenian rifle drill team**


At least in the U.S. this is some people’s full time job. It’s like being on a sports team, but with drill and ceremony. Pride in your force plays a factor in moral and recruitment. Plus, it’s comparatively cheap to support and just a cool nonviolent thing the military can do.


Doesn't the US have a group at the Edinburgh Military Tattoo each year? I remember the Marines silent one from maybe 10 years back. So much of this thread seems to be insinuating the US doesn't do this "we have drones". Has no one watched Stripes? No one? A crime I say! A crime!


Didn't do them much good in the recent war though, did it?


Drones don't care how good your drill is.


You have to program them to be impressed by your drill.


Turns out flash mobs aren't really an effective tactic.


Technological advantage outweighs your morale and infantry training.


Morale and infantry training also outweighs spending months on rehearsing an overly complicated cheerleader routine. 😁 Looks really neat, though.


You think that the best militaries don’t have ceremonial routines like this one?


The point is, at some point you're overdoing it. Like Albania.


Its like 16 dudes, relax


Why have you decided that Armenia in particular is overdoing it?


This is like 40 guys on a drill team, not the entirety of the Armenian military. It's their job to practice for performances like this, just like other soldiers will have the job of being accountants, mechanics, IT, HR, cooks, infantrymen, etc. In fact, in any modern military, the vast majority of soldiers are not really expected to see combat, nor are they sufficiently trained for it.


Maybe the other guys had a better routine


Narrator: They did.


Surprised I had to scroll a bit to get to this comment


Tax money well spent


Someone needs to put a bangin tune over this LOL.


“Let’s see if ya shootin’s as fancy as ya dancing.”


It's really impressive just seeing one dude doing it but all of them together is just beautiful


Fuck me, that was amazing to watch. Absolutely nailed it, you'd think it was a computer generated simulation.


That's team Gabiru from Tensai Slime Datta Ken


So that's where their military budget goes.


Everyone in the middle has it way easier than the end homies


Cheerleading would be more successful with guns, that's for sure.


Then they lose to Azerbaijan.




Sizes of the two armies are not comparable though and Azeris were more or less openly heavily supported by Turkey. It was never a fair fight.


never underestimate the mob of turks on reddit when kurds and armenians are brought up


Have you ever realized there is so much fking anti turk propaganda here in reddit? r/svihs an anti turk subreddit founded by kurdish and Armenian trolls has full of slurs against turks in its posts. When you encounter an anti turk post look which subs op lurking much. You can see that some of them lurking there or they are all clear accounts. Also its funny how Armenians actually doing the thing you say and spamming Armenian genocide shits in every post related to turkey or turks. Yet turks are the mob here lmao.


Lmao, seems more like the opposite. Were you not here for the threads during the last war?


There is no such thing as fair fight in war. Read Sun Tzu


And Israel*


No army in history wants a "fair fight". And it's not like Armenia was some innocent bystander.


Armenia has been always heavily supported by Russia. That is until Russia got sick in the belly from their bullshit.


This is cooler https://youtu.be/WMjOLX_PSUM


This was my first thought... RAZZLE DAZZLE!


aaaaaaAAAAARRRRMMYYYYY Trrraiiining, sir!


"Where's your drill sergeant, men?"


BLLLLLLooooowwnnnn UPPPpppp sir.


Scrolled down for this


That’s a fact, Jack!


I love you for showing me this <3


I don’t understand why militaries do this. It’s like a dance. Seems like a waste of time to learn.


Its a very specific part of the military. Obviously not everyone is doing this. Sort of like how you'll have a marching band at school that's only a small part of the school body.


Military is a team sport. This is team building without the violence. It's like cross training. Most athletes do some form of cross training to build skills so they're better at their primary function.


it's a flex. it is usually hard to make any group of people march in formation without breaking ranks. I think it's a hold-over from the early industrial period armies when mass mobilization became a necessity for nation states.


Their uniform is still very much Soviet.


The armed Rockettes.


They’re all the same height…


I think the captain just won a game of solitaire.


They must be really good at doing the wave at sporting events


You mean a drill team?


Kind of wish this was a screensaver


I thought this was a clip from a 90s rts at first


It’s like a KPOP concert but with guns


Like this is the entire military? No armor, no navy, no airpower?


And yet they still couldn't beat Azerbaijan.


Is this the army that got their arse handed to them by Azerbaijan?


Exactly when you do that , the result is to lose war with Azerbaijan


*communist military


this shit should be banned everywhere, i'm not paying you guys to dance around with guns


At first glance I thought it was a bug. One of those thousand leggers! Hah!


Ok I’m just going to ask. No disrespect but how does this help/benefit the army? Does it help them fight better? Is it just to build discipline?


It is essentially a pissing contest, where militaries across the world show that they have so high discipline, enough to do these moves without breaking the sychrone.


After winning Solitaire in Windows XP


The Marine Corp Silent Drill Team makes them look like high school rotc!


Hate to face these guys in a dance-off.


Cool and all, but what does this accomplish? Hours and hours of practice for what?


I feel like I just won a Windows 95 game of solitaire.


Is that everybody?


Sure they can do that, but can they eat more crayons then a single USMC Soldier?


Cool moves. Couldn’t hold Qarabağ.


Your clones are very impressive, you must be proud


Why is everyone so salty in the comments


If only they'd fight for Karabakh this well.




That’s all of them huh?


Looks like they waste alot of time


Clearly experiencing some sort of latency issue. They should have gone with the 16GB for high CPU usage tasks.


I wish guns were just for shows like this.


BOOM! north Korea just got served!


And how is this useful?


Funny thing is, that's their **entire** military.


You know people speed up these videos to make them look more impressive. The slight speed increase makes them look more robotic. This is not as interesting in reality as it looks.




Reminds me of Lord of the Dance


This musta been a Stomp the Yard post-credits scene I missed.


pretty good at synchronized rifle play shit at actual warfare


But can they fight?


Neat but they recently just got their butts handed to them by Azerbaijan


They are definitely gonna win the artistic portion of the next war…


They can do this but not win a war they started? OOF


This is not the Azerbaijani military buddy


This the entire thing? Looks like a Neighborhood Watch


Later, on the battlefield…


Lol what’s the point of this?


They're fucking domino people.