as soon as i get into my car after logging into a session: Lester: 'all right...'


I still haven’t done the doomsday heist so for me it’s *”WERE STILL DOING THIS, RIGHT..?”* or something


Me shouting at the screen: "NO, WE'RE FUCKING NOT, I'VE GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO!"


thats me every time i sell a car at LSC. Hao: what magic do you need me to perform? me: the kind where you give me money for this fucking car!


I love when you go in with a mashed up car, and he asks what magic do you need me to perform. I'm like, seriously, can you not see the condition of this car.


Player: *Pulling in with a Wrecked, Smoking car* LSC Mechanic: Whats Wrong with her Now?


Yeah, exactly. I forgot that one. Thanks


I always go, "What the hell you think?"


You almost wish you could snack him upside the head


Im going through it now so I can do the Casino heists after. It's getting harder to find people.


I can try and help you(PC), i got: No clue what to do Mediocre driving skills No good shooting skill A bit of map knowledge Oh, yeah and never done a heist before


tbh. heist isnt that hard, hardest part is having host who does second keycard heist and team what can comprehend basic orders


I can comprehend basic orders, and idk how to heist so i guess i wont host


I'm on PC... Still not done the original heist or fleece bank... doomsday, casino and cayo heists I've done several times! Anyone want some help doing set ups or the actual heists I'd be happy to help out/ tag along. My username is Moglord84


Tbh, i just kinda want them done so they stop calling me


Yeah I feel like I need a restraining order against Lester with the amount he calls me! I hope they kill him off in GTA6 🤣


thanks! I'll add you later :D Also, I'll always join HUmane Labs prep mission where you steal hydra, for music reasons haha


Same, I get “AVON IS THE FUCKING BAD GUY????” every damn time I log on


haha mad! haven't reached that part yet, not done any heists at all tbh haha


i still havent done any heists so i still get the 10 foot barge pole


That's why I bought everything they called me for. I have them finally shut the fuck up. Now I have calls from Lester (I don't want to do the og heists), Captain from the Yacht, and Ms. Baker. In addition, I have no idea how to make Dom and Bruce shut up.


Dom - Do a parachute job Brucie - Buy Bullshark Testosterone I also added a note to English Dave and added Tom Collins Original credits: AtrophyG4·2y These are from a post /u/nsoifer linked below, I have made some edits in bold. Martin: Do a contact mission for him --or-- gang attackPERMANENT (cannot stop invites) Ron: Do a contact mission for himTEMPORARY (possibly permanent on some platforms) Buy a Hangar and finish the setup Dom: Complete a parachuting job PERMANENT Lester: Use whichever service he is offering PERMANENT Buy an Apt, complete heists, then buy a Facility and complete heists. Pay to start a heist in each and he won't call to get you to start again and you can use his text message to fast travel to that location Simeon: Do a contact mission for him --or-- export a vehicle PERMANENT (possibly temporary on some platforms) (cannot stop car stealing texts) Brucie: Call him and buy Bull Shark Testosterone (you only need to buy it once) PERMANENT Malc: "...about the only way to shut him up is to buy a business..." - thanks to /u/ShwaSan and /u/PsychkoPERMANENT LJT: "...assuming you want to stop doing MC businesses, just make sure there's product and supply, then close the business." - thanks to /u/nerdfury83 - don't restart your business if the cops shut it down - thanks to /u/WarriorNat PERMANENT CEO Assistant: Buy a CEO office garage PERMANENT, no way to stop the post-mission or rare crate calls Mors Mutual: Insure your vehicle. They only call if you're driving around in an uninsured vehicle for a while. Merryweather: Call for mercenaries on another player.PERMANENT -thanks to /u/bleeps__ Here are some that are new or aren't listed Agent 14 - buy a bunker Lazlow - Keep your popularity of your NC up English Dave - Get all 4 DJs into your club & Finish the Call missions for the Cayo Perico DJ .Tom Collins - Complete the Music Locker DJ missions he calls for Paige - can't stop AFAIK. Have heard that if you do all 6 client jobs she will stop but I have done this and she still calls. Perhaps you have to do all 6 jobs and use the TB for all 5 sourcing options? I haven't used it for MC or Bunker because I buy supplies and I don't do air freight or crates so I cannot confirm at this time. Might try it just to see. Warstock Emails - Buy an Avenger and MOC and Terrorbyte and Kosatka Basically, listen to what they're pushing and do it and they will leave you alone in most cases. Additonal LPT - Go to Settings > Notifications > find the setting at the bottom and change it to 1 hour. This will at least give you some space between all the calls.


This needs to be pinned as a guide. Upvote.


Very useful, much thanks.


I still haven't bought an arcade so every session begins with: 1) Wake up on submarine 2) Rockstar has taken away some of your clothes 3) Rockstar has given you some clothes 4) *Rrrrinnng* Shithead: "How ya doing?" 5) *click*


I legit spend most of my time in my arcade. Some of the games are actually fun. Plus you can get griefers to quit like I did last night; this wee dick was griefing me, I went into passive mode and he went off to grief someone else, I found his arcade, got a high score on one of his games, made sure it was high enough that it would take him a while to beat it, put a name in that would piss him off*, messaged him about it, he comes into the arcade, goes up to the game, suddenly I'm kicked out because he left the session hahaha *His player name indicated he was an Everton fan so I put LFC. I try to think of something that will piss them off


"If a return customer is--" *Hangs up*


I’m so fast at it it’s more like “I-“


“Don’t say anything, I don’t know you…. or maybe I do I don’t remember.”




Tom from the casino I’m assuming. Maybe Tony


I figured it was intended to draw out "Who the fuck is Tommy?" in the comments as CJ says that to Ken Rosenberg when they're slaughtering the Sindaccos.


Fuck English Dave and is fucking pizzas.


Just do the missions, you get a free weevil out of it


In addition to the free car, and more importantly, the twat stops calling.




I finished Dave’s missions, got the Weevil and haven’t heard from him since.


guess i’m delivering those pizzas. how many times do you have to do it? i swear i did the first one.


There are 4 missions


3 times I think


i can do that. two more to go i guess


Do them in a private lobby. The missions are bugged and won't let you finish some in a public one.


thx for the heads up!


He just started callinh me more for nightclub stuff


I got one call from him to do something after the weevil, he had some mission to do but I was busy. Figured he would call back, never happened.


I did his clothing shit and my game was stuck on a black screen when I delivered the van


Only time Dave calls is for Nightclub missions now


Weevil gang.


I got it 2 days ago and I was surprised when I saw what I got😂 been wanting that car for so long but never saw it as worth 800k.


Bin Weevils????


Everyone always says that but here's the annoying thing. The English Dave missions are bugged and don't always work so after you say go pick up the shakras the game bugs and won't let you deliver them. The only way to do so is in a private lobby. It took me about a month until I got the timing right to go into a private lobby and just have to sit there waiting for him to call. It was annoying as shit and if rockstar wants to keep having him call you they should at least fix the bug.


I mean the missions worked perfectly for me (and I’m sure many others) anytime I tried to do them lmao




My man.


Going to pause menu will end his nightmare..


If you just hit pause it hangs up


Fucking Dave... 🖕🏾🍕🍕🍕


Just do his missions, he stops calling once they are done & you get a free car for completing them.


Oh seriously? Are there a lot? Is it a decent car?


Three missions (you can only do one a day though) & you get a free weevil (VW Beetle) at the end.


LOL I liked the English Dave missions but I always received the pizza one's call when I was doing other shit


You can close his calls by opening and closing the map


Let's see... English Dave has a hard on for me to switch back to Dixon. Ever since I (finally) got him his Chakra stones and picked up the Weevil, that's the only call I get from him. Agent 47 shut up after I picked up the facility, bunker + MOC. Bryony shut up after I finally ponied up for the arena war garage and ran 1 mission. Lester quit calling after finishing OG heists, and the Casino. LJT has never called me very often, and my MC businesses are mothballed. Ron was happy once I grabbed a hangar. Dom calls periodically, but they're short and can be cut off. Simeon and Madrazo are needy bitches.


Agent 47 eh? Someone been playing too much Hitman lol. It's agent 14


Just do a parachuting mission for Dom, he'll fuck right off forever after.


Fucking Dom nearly made me flood my deluxo while I was doing a cayo prep, went to do a front flip over water, right as I hit a to turn flight back on the fucker calls me and I hang up and re-engage flight seconds before the deluxo experienced what it's like to be a toreador


I liked dom... I want him to hit me up for more dodgy parachuting.


For Simeon calls, deliver one or two vehicles on his list and complete his repo missions. If you want to get rid of his text messages that are his export lists, set all freemode events to hide at once and it will hide his as well. For Martin, complete the gang attacks around the map. English Dave will completely stop calling you if do all of his music locker + nightclub side missions(just accept the missions and do them as they come) and make you have bought all the DJs for your Nightclub...At least he stopped calling me once I got it all done. It sucks for a new player having to endure all of this though, they need fork over millions just so they can get some peace and quiet.


Yes. It does suck. I can't even afford the Kosatka sub yet. I reflexively hang up the phone now.


“Ello there it’s your old friend indeed here. Listen, kienamusik looks to be about two tempo shifts from passing out. I need the big guns flown out here right now, my personal chakra stones, can you make it happen?” *presses circle* “fuck, well there’s no grudges where Dave’s concerned, talk soon.” Screw Dave and his damn chakra stones and pizza.


I only get texts from Madrazo and Simeon now, even though I’ve done literally every mission for both of them


I also had to finally buy the big office garage I didn't want just to get the assistant to stop calling.


Sort of related, but how do I get the game to stop telling me about the hot new nightclub, the Music Locker every fucking time I get anywhere near the casino? Are there any missions or anything I have to do associated with it?


Dom will stop if you do few jumps. Yacht captain will also bother you until you do the missions.


"Tommy" Wrong game, pal. You mean (Anthony Gay) Tony (Prince).


Vercetti would be in his 60s. Still way better than most characters. Would loved to have seen him and Trevor go at it.


Can't imagine today's smartphones and especially GTA's phone terror would be good for him, haha.


Agent 14 every other minute, I don’t get the option to decline it just automatically answers lmao


If you're on PC: Fast left and right click to "answer" and cancel or fast Enter and Backspace. Pause menu also skips calls. Doing a simple parachute jump shuts Dom the fuck up.


where is the parachute jump though? The only ones that still call me are Lester about the arcade I haven't bought, Dom about parachuting, and one other guy talking about testosterone


Either enter a parachute jump on the map (for example in front of the Los Santos Customs in Burton (the most popular one in the city) is one) or press Escape/Pause whatever your system is => Online => Jobs => Parachute Jumps and go for it. For Brucie Kibbutz: Take out your iFruit, go to contacts (upper right corner), look for Brucie, call him and order some Bullshark Testosterone (BST). Then both guys won't call anymore and bother you.




I never had me glasses on at the time and used voice text and it got it wrong like usual


Understandable, have a nice day. Just wanted to point this out.


The only one i want to call me is pavel :(


The only call we wait 😂


Pavel is honestly the best helper guy (or whatever theyre called) in GTAO. He doesnt charge ridiculous amounts in bills, he doesn't call me every 5 seconds, and he literally organizes and plans my entire heist, then takes 2% of the money. I love pavel. ^hes ^also ^russian




I forgot how bad it was until I started playing on my second character for a few days, Jesus Christ it’s so bad. Between that and all the notifications about buying things and cars that are available for purchase. Its insane.


Cant even escape the reality of advertisement culture in a game anymore smh


There’s no escape from the corporate overlords and their clumsy attempts to connect with the common man through hip advertising.


No joke. I almost quit playing within the first few days because of it. It's absurdly excessive. I don't know what they're thinking.


I don’t know how I kept playing this game in the beginning.


My guess is they hope you buy shark cards to be able to afford everything so you can get them to stop calling. I've never bought a shark card but I've had to buy everything to get them to stop. That and also turning the notifications to only one every hour helps.


I quit playing with my secondary account that I was role playing as a biker precisely because of this.


There’s a game setting for changing how frequently you get calls from other characters. I just found it and set to 30 mins... peace and quiet!


You, sir or ma’am just saved the game for millions of people. If I had an award, you would get it


Yeah. And the price for things they ask to buy is too high for a new player. They could at least check the balance and only call if the new player has the cash.


They want to entice you then you see that giant price tag and think it’s unachievable, but hold on. what’s this? All I have to do is enter my credit card number and I can get the money for the car?


Your forgot the worst of them all BRYONY


"Hi there, this is Bryony..." * Hangs up the call *


Yep she’s the worst of all


Don't forget the endless texts from LJT.


I don’t get them






How do you shut this guy up?


Idk I called him for bst 1 or 2 times and he stopped


Where Bryony?


I literally bought an arena workshop just to get her to fuck off


the best thing about red dead online. no phones


Don’t have to be a new player to deal with this bullshit 😂




“Hello me old china plate”


"Listen, we've got a serious wardrobe malfunction down at the cost of dell, kinemusik"


I find it stupid that you do the fleeca bank job in the armoured karuma then get lifted up by a cargo bob and flown away but then on the Pacific standard mission, you have to getaway on those dumb bikes. Surely common sense that it would be the other way around.


* For Lester, do the original heists and the Doomsday heists. They are fun and Lester stops calling. * For Dom, do one parachute mission, then Dom stops calling. * Who's Tommy? * For Agent 14, buy a bunker, when you can afford it, then set it up. Agent 14 will still nag you with texts until you also buy a MOC. * For Ron, buy a hanger, then set it up. Ron will stop calling. * For Martin, after he calls you to ask him for work, call him, ask him for work, then do the mission that he sends you. Martin will stop calling. To stop his texts, disable them in the interaction menu. * For Simeon, disable his texts in the interaction menu.


Thats the true symbol of wealth in GTA, no phone calls


For my first post on Reddit I got over 250 up vote thank you all it means a lot to me


Hello there mate. English Dave


Seriously tho, do they leave me alone when i buy their fucking shit?


I bought an arena war workshop bc byrony’s voice is deafening


Dominik is the worst. I decline the call every time because it’s a waste. I don’t care about parachuting or whatever he’s talking about.


I've not done part 3 of the Doomsday heist yet, so every time I log in I eventually get a call from Lester, where he just screams AVON at me before I'm able to hang up.


why in the world does dom calls us? To jump from a cliff and die like him?


Buying a kosatka just so you can make enough money to buy the properties so you can stop getting phone calls


Can we go back to tom Connors making phone calls though? Im fucking running and i almost click accept or do click accept on his shitty missions


After 1 year i recive little phone calls because i own every property type


What about Bryony


The things we put up with to play this game....


yo seriously. wtf i keep getting all these calls and yet the only missions i can ever do is the Gerald ones and Simons i just wanna make enough money to get my own flying vehicles this shits annoying lol


They go away if you buy businesses


I could only afford the MC Clubhouse, HighRise Apartment, and Bunker with the 8 Mill i got. *shrug* they still send me like a million stupid texts and calls about comicbooks and music lockers. Lol, i know that the GTAO from 2013/2014 back on 360/PS3 was bare bones and contentless, (hell i still remember grinding Meth’d up and Survival at the Junkyard for cash back then) but sometimes i low key miss how simple things were back then. Coming back to this new GTAO is just way too overwhelming. I’m kinda regretting buying it on PS5 rn tbh


They really patched the only glitch people liked and they can’t even add an off button for your phone.🤦‍♂️


Which one?


The glitch where you could test your NAT settings to get a private public lobby.


It’s still there


Hey uhh


Fuck dom he has no purpose can't even go see him and do some jumps so lame


This is a wonderful meme


Brucie never gets old


I always enjoy the posts asking "Is it worth it to buy ___?" Do you get calls about it? Do you want them to stop calling you constantly? It's worth it. Buy it, shut it down. Works with all over them except for fuggin Ron. But that lonely bastard just needs someone to talk to. Even on 3x $ air cargo is a joke.


“This is Agatha”


Reason #248 why pavel is the best major npc in gtao.


If any of these scrubs pay better than Pavel they can feel free to call. Otherwise loose my number!


I don't know what I did to make the Bryony calls stop, finally. The worst one now is the fucking moodyman text. You're running and then you get the text/call and accidentally accept some stupid mission where you have to pick up moodyman. How do I cancel that?


I join a new season because I’m always in a pvp and Tom Connors text me while running


it never gets better!!! no matter how much i buy they keep calling! lord make it stop!


Would you believe it’s worse when you own all MC businesses


LJT here


I don't get calls from dom since years ago


How do you get Dom to shut up


May be doing a parachute mission


Everytime since I started playing this game a long time ago, it always bothers me


The other night I was in my Akula having an intense battle with a Hydra. Hydra turns to fly toward me... this is the perfect time for an Akula to hit it on the nose with a rocket.... Incoming phone call keeps me from firing rockets.


Go to your settings and give different keybinding for using the phone. Then you can fire and use the phone at the same time




It's not possible to change keybindings for a controller ? I have never used a controller before so Idk. Btw changing the phone select key to something else is enough.


I'm pretty sure I shut Dom up before he ever called me on pure luck (I was curious what the parachute jobs were like)


Out of all the unsolicited calls, I hate Brynoy the most.


Why won't they shut up and let me cause violence


not to mention the cutscenes😭


The stupid thing is when your phone rings the mouse becomes useless so if you are flying or piloting with a mouse you are fucked


Bro u forgot the one you can’t hang up on fuck Dave


I bought all the shit just for it to stop.. now I have to do all heists but on solo that is quite something so lester and eeeeverybody else is still annoying me


And people complained about Roman!


Have to spend 7 mill just to get people to stop calling you smh


HEEEeeyy it’s Ron, **JAWKOWSKI**


Buy our cards. Buy our cards


I literally bought a MOC just so agent 14 would shut up about it.




BASE jumping or parachuting


Only consistent phone calls i get nowadays are from lester concerning the OG heists


Just got off GTA because I tried resupplying my coke and got shot at by 3 separate oppressors...


Literally bought a arena just so bryony would shut up same with a nightclub and facility.


I literally bought shit just to stop the phone calls.. I have not touched my air freight. No more Ron




I was meant to be tony I never had my glasses at the time and voice text is shit


Oh, never mind


"where are the cars I've requested?????" *Hang up*


Legit this was me. Also I was just casually walking around trying to steal a car and a fuckin oppressor came flying by and missed me but hit a car which came flying right into my ass.


It would be great if they'd only call you if you had enough money to buy what they want you to buy


it's fine just play 500 hours and buy everything in the game, why are people complaining?


I actually bought the stupid penthouse just to stop the calls. Stupid me...


Great meme take my award


Don’t forget Bryony!


They should only call players if they have enough money. How the hell is a new player who has less than a 100k supposed to buy an arcade, arena garage, facility?


Remove Dom and put Bryony


And LJT in your email every 2 minutes


Setting the call frequency to the longest interval possible helps me but I really only get a few anymore since I got pretty much everything.


It worked with me over the years, I bought the properties to shut them up permanently. And all properties at least have some use (Arena workshop with the headlights, e.g.). At least LJT only texts you now, he was the most annoying.


Just press P and Esc


I bought everything and did everything so those calls and texts stop. Still, Madrazo occasionally calls and Simeon keeps texting me as if we aren't rivals at this point. I thought I won, turns out it is impossible to win.


That’s why modmenus have a feature called “disable phone”


Whose tommy


They want you to buy all this stuff even if the player is a level 1 with barely any money