Did this once and the girl went totally memtal at me. Screemed at me that I was never going to be happy because I have the emotions of a rock.
20 years on we are both happily married to other people. I talk to her the odd time when I see her.
Ripping off the plaster was the best thing for us both.
You shouldn’t be leading them on it’s not fair on her.
Tell her exactly how you feel about the current status of the relationship, no matter how hard that might be and break it off.
Or alternatively have a direct face to face conversation with her about what could be done to improve the relationship paying particular attention to her thoughts.
She’ll appreciate that you took the time to consider the future or taking the initiative to change things and being willing to try new things.
Don’t be dishonest to yourself/her or play the hidden carpet game because you will be found out eventually and that could make matters worse.
Honesty and communication are always the best policy.
Non communication nor honesty is a recipe for resentment, unfulfillment and a failed relationship.
Thanks, but problem is she has made plans like holidays away and now i feel i have to go or let her down before it either way it will end with her calling to my house and crying on my front door step and this make me incredibly uncomfortable - it actually make me feel bad about myself. She also has a son - not mine and i get on with him and she uses him as way to twist my arm into staying with her and going off places because she told him we would. So you see i am kinda stuck.
That sounds a little emotionally manipulative (from her). The sooner you are honest with her the better. Just tell her the truth, that you don't feel it's going anywhere and you think the best thing is to break it off. The longer you leave it the worse it will get. She shouldn't have planned a holiday that includes you without at least checking with you first.
Take it from someone who's ex went through with the holiday instead of ending it just because it was booked, that's a terrible idea. I could feel something was off but wasn't sure and when he ended it right after the holiday, the knowledge that he wanted out of the relationship but still came on the holiday made the whole thing worse. It's gave much preferred to lose money due to cancellation than go.on holiday with someone who no longer wanted to be with me.
This sounds like she knows full well what's going on but she's trying to subtly lock you in. Leaving the fact you're not feeling it aside, you need to run not walk away from her.
You're not stuck. Breaking up is hard, but why would anyone stay with someone they're not into? That just hurts everyone forever. You're not gonna magically suddenly be into her because she cries on your doorstep. And to be honest, it sounds like she knows what's coming.
Be honest.
Tell her you don't feel the same way about her and so it won't work. She might be hurt but it's not the end of the world. She'll find someone else who's into her.
Tell her you need some space and time to work on yourself. Ask for space.
Then tell her that after some space you're after realising you're just not ready for a relationship and you don't want to string her along when she's making such an effort.
Have a friend or family member call her up and tell her you died saving orphans in a fire.
Seriously though, if it isn't working get out. I wasted too much time in relationships that weren't really working. I regret it and am absolutely sure my former partners do as well.
Kid's not yours, she tells him you'll be there on occasions (probably didn't mention you even) as a way to force your hand. That's using your child as a weapon. That's being a shitty partner and a shitty parent. I wholeheartedly get being a single parent is hard and wanting to be in a stable relationship with someone you like in order to make that better. But this is not a healthy way to go about it. Rip off the plaster OP, when you know the dog has rabies you have to put it down anyway. Quicker it's over, the quicker everybody can get over it.
It will just snowball the longer you leave it
Stop dropping hints and tell her out right. She deserves that at the least
Did this once and the girl went totally memtal at me. Screemed at me that I was never going to be happy because I have the emotions of a rock. 20 years on we are both happily married to other people. I talk to her the odd time when I see her. Ripping off the plaster was the best thing for us both.
You shouldn’t be leading them on it’s not fair on her. Tell her exactly how you feel about the current status of the relationship, no matter how hard that might be and break it off. Or alternatively have a direct face to face conversation with her about what could be done to improve the relationship paying particular attention to her thoughts. She’ll appreciate that you took the time to consider the future or taking the initiative to change things and being willing to try new things. Don’t be dishonest to yourself/her or play the hidden carpet game because you will be found out eventually and that could make matters worse. Honesty and communication are always the best policy. Non communication nor honesty is a recipe for resentment, unfulfillment and a failed relationship.
Thanks, but problem is she has made plans like holidays away and now i feel i have to go or let her down before it either way it will end with her calling to my house and crying on my front door step and this make me incredibly uncomfortable - it actually make me feel bad about myself. She also has a son - not mine and i get on with him and she uses him as way to twist my arm into staying with her and going off places because she told him we would. So you see i am kinda stuck.
That sounds a little emotionally manipulative (from her). The sooner you are honest with her the better. Just tell her the truth, that you don't feel it's going anywhere and you think the best thing is to break it off. The longer you leave it the worse it will get. She shouldn't have planned a holiday that includes you without at least checking with you first.
Take it from someone who's ex went through with the holiday instead of ending it just because it was booked, that's a terrible idea. I could feel something was off but wasn't sure and when he ended it right after the holiday, the knowledge that he wanted out of the relationship but still came on the holiday made the whole thing worse. It's gave much preferred to lose money due to cancellation than go.on holiday with someone who no longer wanted to be with me.
This sounds like she knows full well what's going on but she's trying to subtly lock you in. Leaving the fact you're not feeling it aside, you need to run not walk away from her.
Oof! Get out now.
You're not stuck. Breaking up is hard, but why would anyone stay with someone they're not into? That just hurts everyone forever. You're not gonna magically suddenly be into her because she cries on your doorstep. And to be honest, it sounds like she knows what's coming. Be honest.
Just say, welcome to dumpsville, population you! Short and to the point.
And tell her via text.
You need to be blunt, cruel to be kind if you must.
Tell her you’re into anal stretching and that should see her disappear lively
I can see how this will go... "Me too, but I didn't want to mention it so early in our relationship. Cone on and we will get started on you"
Lol, imagine, what a backfire
Leaving it longer is worse. Break it off as soon as you can
Break it off; quick and fast now and save yourself heartache down the line. Remember, as Mr Miyagi said: "Wax on, wax off Daniel son!"
Three simple words. I . Am . Gay.
Tell her you don't feel the same way about her and so it won't work. She might be hurt but it's not the end of the world. She'll find someone else who's into her.
Tell her you need some space and time to work on yourself. Ask for space. Then tell her that after some space you're after realising you're just not ready for a relationship and you don't want to string her along when she's making such an effort.
Space means nothing to some. It needs to be a very clear "it's over".
Finish it not if you're not into it. Yes, splitting now will hurt her but it will be much worse down the line.
Tell her you hate her..
Be honest. You will hurt her feelings but its best for both of you to be upfront now.
Have a friend or family member call her up and tell her you died saving orphans in a fire. Seriously though, if it isn't working get out. I wasted too much time in relationships that weren't really working. I regret it and am absolutely sure my former partners do as well.
Just be honest. Tell her how you feel and let’s hope ain’t a bunny boiler
Just unfriend her on Facebook, change your status and or send her a text. Messing aside, bring her out for a drink, tell her how you feel.
Kid's not yours, she tells him you'll be there on occasions (probably didn't mention you even) as a way to force your hand. That's using your child as a weapon. That's being a shitty partner and a shitty parent. I wholeheartedly get being a single parent is hard and wanting to be in a stable relationship with someone you like in order to make that better. But this is not a healthy way to go about it. Rip off the plaster OP, when you know the dog has rabies you have to put it down anyway. Quicker it's over, the quicker everybody can get over it.