By - Venus259jaded
I haven't had friends for 2 years, only time want some are when I'm sad or angry but that's sometimes, I'm talking about online because I've never had any friends in real life. Sometimes I just really want friends to have memories but only 1 friend I had memories with I actually loved and cried for and now we aren't friends anymore because of me, it's the reason I have none.
YMMV, but personally I think it’s better having fewer close relationships. Friends that understand you and will be there for you, as opposed to a lot of people who may not care.
Lol and how exactly am I supposed to find close friends when even making tertiary friends is impossible?
>it feels like everyone I reach out to doesn't want to speak to me
>I've given up reaching out because I just feel rejected a lot.
24M same here, but at least u have a bf
One good friend is a gift.
Well, it's okay to not have many friends and to have many. It's up to you. Both are normal.
Tbh I think this is normal. It is hard to make new friends.
Is it normal for me to have 0 friends? Less friends seems to be OK in people's books but I have 0.
I have 0 too :(
Zero as well 🥲
It's completely fine.. like they say 1 genuine good friend is alot better then 10..
I would enjoy just being friends with you. Like you, I’m an extrovert and love the connections
You are right. I have reached out a lot in Meetup groups and it seems people are closed off. To me, it is unnatural, and it is hard to have inner peace for it. I never had a group of friends due to having a strange personality growing up. Children will bully those they perceive as strange. Sometimes it even shows up when someone is normal. The bullies did not go to my high school and I mostly corrected the strangeness and I finished high school with 2 friends. One of them has since been in and out of contact with me and the other was consistently in contact with me but I had to cut her off due to rudeness during the last 10 years. Over time, other friends showed up but they barely make time for me for various reasons (family obligations, ill health, financial trouble etc). I really wonder if I can make peace with it. My depression gets in the way of my thought process. My job is at risk. I have become that bad. I hope working on myself will help me improve mentally such thay I can save my job. I am in the 40s. I don't mean to be pessimistic, I just mean to tell you I know this pain and you are not alone in your isolation.
You're experience at school sounds very similar to mine. I left school with no friends and have had to try so hard to make friends in my 20s but i don't know if it's worth all the rejection and hurt. I've had depression since school and feel insecure that people notice it? Its really nice knowing I'm not alone!
I also have struggled with this. I have had lots of friends come and go and recently have realized that the times I had lots of friends they usually weren't good friends to me. They usually didn't care about me very much or treat me very well. Now I have maybe like one or two friends who are always busy and they are great people but I feel alone too. I also don't know what to do to make new friends. I have been in groups before but I feel kind of scarred from some of the groups I participated in because of how people treated me. I hope it gets better for you! Maybe the right people will come after some time for both of us. But I would definitely not take it personal I'm sure your completely normal. I think this happens to lots of people.
i feel the same way! Most the friends I have had were not very nice to me and it caused us to eventually fall out. I just don't know why it's so difficult to meet nice people aha!
I'm 24 M I have only one really good friend that stuck through with me for 3 years now. It's not too weird I can talk to them about anything and he does the same. Having a small group of really good friends is better than a large group of friends who may not always be there for you.
You have a very very similar situation to mine. I, too, spend most of my time with my bf and when he’s gone I’m lost. I don’t have a lot of close friends and hate being alone. This has been going on for a few years and it gets to me because I am also an extrovert. Depression hits hard
It is super easy to feel uneasy about this and each day feels like a year. So the only thing I can tell you is that those thoughts are only in your head, keep trying, keep putting yourself out there, there are many like you and you just have to find them. It might take a while but it does come around.
All those social groups are good but you’re right, they all seem to be already in their own little groups so there’s no room for people like us. But you never know who you might meet, it could be someone just like you.
This is a hard time for people like us because of covid but also people aren’t as open to talk to strangers. Everyone is always busy. It can be hard. I can also advice you that when you are feeling alone and uncomfortable or sad about it think about that feeling and work on getting used to being comfortable alone. Hope this helps.
Thank you so much! Its really nice knowing it isn't me causing this problem. Maybe I'll try groups again, just seems so difficult at the moment.
I used to have the same problem during my primary and high school times.. always constant fear of not being good enough for anyone or being rejected or not being liked.. as a result I bloody pretended in front of loser that I like smoking and drinking only to get addicted.. it wasn't until my last years of college then I realise those things meant anything...people will accept and value just the way you are you don't have to act or pretend to me something else..
What the fuck is normal? All things are normal. Fuck other people's opinions, are you happy with the way things are? If so good keep it up, if not figure out what you can do to become happy. That's all that matters.
I want a friend but I’m too scared to befriend the wrong person or where to find the right person.
I just want like a universal symbol that i can put on a shirt or bracelet that say "please talk to me!" Talking to people sucks since your think you'll be bothering people and most people already have a group and arnt looking for more people so im kinda stuck with anyone i already know with no hope of branching out.
That would be a great idea! I really just wanna meet people who are happy to chat to whoever
I don't know if I classify myself as having any friends anymore. People never reach out to me and when I message someone, it'll take them an average of a month to respond...if at all. I'm a self declared introvert but even I would like to talk to friends every now and then. Or at least more than I currently do. Like you, I've tried the whole reaching out and joining organizations thing but here I am...still friendless. I would just like to know how others do it. How do they have friends who actually talk and spend time with them? Like it seems like such an impossible thing to me.
I'm exactly the same. I just don't understand how others seem to do it so easily. I try my best but I never seem to keep people around. It's nice to know I'm not the only one
I think it's really common for people once they get in their 20s. Adult life gets in the way of your social life.
I'm also 23 and I get how you feel. I'm slowly removing myself from social media because people only share the good parts of their life on it, so whenever I look on instagram or facebook I feel much more alone because I'm watching people be sociable and have lots of friends without me. I really hate how it makes me feel, yet I can't get off it!
I also think that it's very normal to, as you get older, lose friends. This isn't through spite or falling out, i think it's natural to just drift apart from people as we get older. I only have 1 true friend, that was from high school, I've found it difficult to integrate with friend groups, it's as if these friend groups I'm trying to infiltrate have no more room haha, its such a strange feeling.
Just remember that you are not alone, especially since COVID I think many people feel the same. You definitely aren't alone in feeling that way.
I personally get quite depressed, do you suffer from this? If so, try to see a therapist maybe, maybe even medication too (that really helped me). Therapy may be a good way of analysing why you feel the way you do??
I agree ! I've started putting timers on my social media so after 5 minutes they switch off because they make me feel so down.
Whenever I try and make a new friend it's like their group is "full". Which is strange because I always thought people never say no to more friends!
Thankyou! Its really nice knowing I'm not the only one. I've dealt with this for a while. I do suffer from depression and I'm treating it myself , it's made me realize that alot of my sadness comes from feeling insecure and fear of what other people think. Thanks again 👍
I only have 2 friends that I would do whatever I could to help them out with whatever, we're all weird and it's ok with us. We've never met in person but we video chat on discord now and then. I was that weird extrovert that had to be in everyone's conversations in school, when I graduated from high school I lost contact with everyone I knew. Look for a dnd group to chill with, those are the kind of people that stick together.
I'm the same! Everyone disappeared after school and university. How do u join dnd?
Check out XP to Level 3 on YouTube, they have a discord that's very friendly. They've got a campaign that is run by the server mods you can join or there's a channel for groups looking for players. There's other connections but I feel that is a great place for anyone new to check out first.
Thankyou so much! :)
Yeah no problem, I know what it's like being lonely all the time. I've made it to 24 and I've never had a relationship with anyone, unless you count being catfished, it's hard to stay motivated without friends. I wish you the best of luck in your journey.
Tell me 3 things; one thing that you like, one thing that you do and 1 thing about yourseld
Me right now. Tomorrow’s my boyfriends birthday and instead of being out celebrating with him and his friends I’m in bed sad and lonely. I want to go out and have my own fun but I have no friends besides him and I don’t want to be overbearing so I isolate myself so I don’t ruin his good time.
Not everyone is going to “get” you. And you may not find the other people interested or worth hanging out with.
I wish I had more friends, but it is exhausting. I’m an introvert who tries to be an extrovert. When I started making more friends, I realized how selfish people are and it just turned me off. Sooo much drama. I do not need it.
Do you want to be normal or exceptional?
A few close are better than a bunch anyday
I have zero friends I think I'm zombie 😑
Quality over quantity my friend
I 21 M spend every day working and after work I just sit on my computer till I go to bed. I have 1 “good” friend who plays with me after work but when we meet in person it always feels as if the only reason they ever hit me up is because they don’t have a car and need a ride somewhere. I desperately want to stop the relationship but I am very introverted and it is not easy for me to meet new people
Some of you people in r lonely don't even belong here
If you have been receiving bad things continuously happen 2 you and can't really find a pinpoint for it then there ... you are probably in the wrong reddit
If you have been this might explain some of the things deeper that you of you have been dealing with
I have a friend whose wife was in a similar position and part of her problem, that none of us realized for years, was she had no personality of her own. Her once boyfriend now husband was something of a leader, if not the most "together" person in our friend group. So she got this weird sense of superiority by siphoning his accolades and using that position to talk down to everyone he is friends with.
She's not particularly annoying or boring, but she does exude an air of "holier than thou" when she honestly does nothing that should give her such a high opinion of herself over others. So, if you're even kind of thinking that might be you: work on that first.
Developing a personality that is unique to you is gonna be your best friend here. The best and most deceitful advice is "to be yourself". Being yourself is a double-edged sword that will probably drive more people away than draw them in, but the ones who do value you for who you are: will be more worthwhile. You can be like my friends wife and mold yourself to fit in wherever you are placed, or you can be a weirdo that lots of people avoid but several people adore.
You probably aren't normal, and already you exhibit signs of individuality by not deciding you need to be involved with what he's doing with his friends. That's good: do that. Get used to the idea that some people just won't want you around, you probably are annoying. I'm annoying, everyone on the planet is annoying to a lot of other people on the planet.
Your personality is like clay, you can mold it and shape yourself as long as you keep an open mind. You don't have to put it into the kiln and make it solid the minute you find a formula that's "good enough". Most people do this too early and are the reason we have such resistance to change and progress. So experiment with stuff, try new things: even things you outwardly project hating. I'm a gamer, I tried gardening last year: I have a much more fulfilling and pleasant feeling after tending the garden than I do clearing objectives/quests. The world is bigger than we think and there is much to see and do.
tl:dr Be yourself and try not to care so much about whether you're annoying. Like as not you're right. So you can either fix it: or decide that other people who can't embrace or move past that aren't worth your time anyway.