do 'fake people' get any benefit or have a reason for acting fake nice etc to other people?
By - sxrndiipity
There's a saying like first impression seals the deal.
There's nothing wrong for you wanting to be genuine, but you cannot expect others to do the same.
my question is more asking *why* do people choose to be fake? especially if the person has never had any impression of u before?
I think it’s because the real version of themselves is not something people would accept. So they have to put on a fake persona to blend into the world.
Certain religion/culture/school of thoughts instills positive first impression, and maybe they just don't want to a direct ticket into someone's blacklist.
Simply saying, might be a facade; might be just how one presents itself to the environment.
I would say they want to imprint a "positive" impression so they don't trigger any person's defense mechanism.
P.S: thanks for clarifying your perspective.
hey its all good, hmm i can agree with that. trying to look like theyre good. im the type of person who just ignores people they dont like. something else about me is that i dont often dislike people unless they dislike me first (of course there are exceptions). just tryna understand the perspectives of people like this in the past bc i dont wanna sit and wallow in sad abt the past.
This cognitive/behavioral response is also the cause and the result itself.
It's like two side of the same coin, we act in accordance to how others react to.
Why would someone act a certain way.... if it gets them what they want...
if they acting fake nice what are they getting that they wont get if being genuine?
Validation and belief in their false self......
Its a survival/coping mechanisme and maybe a sign someone wasnt loved unconditionally in their childhood years.
>Validation and belief in their false self...... Its a survival/coping mechanisme and maybe a sign someone wasnt loved unconditionally in their childhood years.
thats very true!!!
Ngl, being fake is awesome. It's very tiring, I can't do it for more than a couple of hours, but it feels way better.
But after a while it gets so exhausting that it doesn't seem worth it. I wish I could be fake all the time, but it's not possible.
Being genuine also has it's perks, but you need a good mental health for that. Otherwise being genuine while depressed hasn't gotten me anywhere.
This could teach them.... you have to be overtly nice to be liked and loved.
What's the difference between face nice and genuine nice?
Exactly what I'm trying to figure out lmao any one person cant possibly like EVERYTHING about another. And to answer the OPs question: People are so sensitive to anything that challenges their beliefs and moral compasses, that being fake, sometimes, is a requirement.
Rather narcs or someone with social anxiety, they are just playing up to what they think would be best for the person/situation they are interacting with.
They usually have very different motives. One wants to be liked and the other wants to be praised or feel dominant. Long term, the outcome is almost always negative for both.
Yes, people respond better to thank you with a smile even if it’s fake.
There is a fine line in everything, ppl always want to make a good first impression but completely faking is wrong. If I meet someone I will be enthusiastic but not over the top, when I meet them on a daily basis or I know the person, I’m not gonna put on a fake smile and be fake enthusiastic.
I think they do it to be "safe". I watched a person become fake recently. It's like they are detached. People reacting bady to them doesn't hurt them because it's only happening to the meat puppet they built to deal with strangers.
Huge benefits! Fake people are the ones that get promotions, raises, friends, everything. No one cares if it's true or not, they just want to hear nice things.
when i was fake i was a popular girl, had many "friends", good grades, parents were proud, i was "accepted", i was living the "life". when i started to be honest and vocal and didn't pretended just to blend in anymore, i was called a "disaster", "gone bad", "mentally ill" (although i was all along) and the worst a "failure" after trying for so mang years, my true self was a failure
Well, if I was being genuine all the time, I'd be telling strangers to piss off left and right.
It's called manners. Even if you don't think someone's hair looks nice, it can make their day to hear you say it does, and it costs you nothing. Genuine very easily becomes blunt, which very easily becomes bitchy.
Of course it's a waste of time. Fact is 95% of people are trash. Manipulators, liars, cheaters, thieves, the like. They are kind and genuine until they see what they can get from you. Once they know what you're worth to them then they let their true self show. The reality is you should just change your expectations. People are shit. Expect it. Know it. That way you're not surprised at being treated unfairly, you expect it, and will rarely be surprised by a genuine good deed. Always remember, when someone does something for you, they do it expecting something in return. Accept less, they can't expect more in return.
a lot of the time i wonder if im really mature and kind, or if most people are really apathetic and unknowledgable. and i really hope tht didnt come off narcissistic
Nope. Narcs wouldn't question their kindness, apathy, and how they overall impact people. You are, so I'd say that makes you less narcissistic than you sometimes feel..
well thats a relief. and dont get me wrong ive done some pretty mean things in the past n im healing from my regret too. narcs would never admit when theyre wrong
I can see and all through all fake bullshit, cause it reeks. You’re called out immediately and I ask u to start over.
The point is, usually, the other person likes them based on their behavior.
hmm im a bit confused by what u mean
Political correctness, over-the-top niceness, complete acceptance means some people have to be fake to get along in the world.
Im not saying it’s right.
Oh I love when someone tries to be politically correct while clearly looking down upon you because your origins so he talks to you like to a special needs child all the time.
The social fake is a social skill in itself. We all generally do it, some people a lot more than others. Small situations might be like pretending you’re paying attention in class or asking questions to keep a conversation going so as not to be perceived as rude even though they want out of it. Those sorts of social fake scenarios are generally harmless and an attempt to maintain a social appearance of not being rude so you can get through social situations you’d rather not be a part of without hurting someone’s feelings.
There are more extreme fakes where people manipulate someone for a purpose by faking being a friend or something in order to gain something from it. Obviously this situation is predatory and not socially acceptable.
It’s really a spectrum and depends on the person’s intent. Often times being ‘genuine’ can be good and bad as well.
Maybe they want attention and if they act genuine like who they really are no one will care about them because their personalities are not attractive
there are different levels to fake
one is the instance you mentioned, as a form benign neutral interaction
the other is deeper, perhaps through creating a facade one feels safer
What makes you think that they are being fake? Do they talk about you in a negative way behind your back or betrayed you?
They like to boost their ego but in the long run they don’t see how much this is actually costing them their own friendship
These people are trying too hard. Social interaction is about trying less, lowering your filter, and just letting the words flow spontaneously.
They are being very needy for approval. Being too needy causes them to try to manipulate people into liking them. Instead realize that approval is a two way street and maybe they just aren't compatible.
They are afraid of rejection. Acting fake nice is done to prevent negative reactions and rejection from others. Instead think of rejection as a way to filter out non-compatible people.
They are being competitive. They are trying to get people to like them like its some competition to become popular. They see other people as scary and often mean so they have to be fake nice with them. Instead be collaborate and assume that others are nice and work with them for mutual enjoyment.
They are making it work. Fake nice people are trying so hard to be liked, they have forgotten the reason for social interaction. To actually have fun, enjoy yourself, learn something interesting. You can't really have fun if you are fake all the time.
From the few fake people that I unfortunately know of, I think they got off on it. The idea of being someone they’re not may somehow give them a rush or something.
Fake nice get them job advancement, sex, certain advantages whatever float their boat basically whatever they need from you that’s how those psycho people get it. Sadly there’s a lot of those humans … most of them are also very successful or rich af so ya … nice always finish last.
Idek aye. It's an unanswered question I can never understand. Why do people do this??. I deal with these sorts of people all the time
I am a naturally mean spirited person. It doesn’t bring any good to the world, but my first thoughts are generally judge mental and not very nice. I can’t control how information comes in and I interpret it. I can control my reactions, interactions, and how I treat people. Usually, I can form some type of connection that makes me see people better and develop a genuine sense of good toward them, but rarely does that happen in single serving encounters so I actively work to be nice. Honestly nothing thrills me more than getting to unleash my natural self on say some crazy Karen or ken because they absolutely deserve that shit…. I joked on some AITA post about being an asshole is my super power and I try to use it for good…. I guess that makes me fake…. But being my natural self doesn’t bring usually bring anyone any good, and I don’t wish anyone any harm or to feel worse about themselves… unless they deserve it.
did i do something wrong?
Someone had a bad day/night, read the profile.
Yes they have more friends, are liked by more people and get invited to more stuff
People will like you if they think you like them
If by genuine you mean showing people you don't like them. Why would you want that?
There is no such thing as "fake nice"
Just because you aren't a fan of someone, doesn't mean you need to treat them like shit, give them nasty looks or talk about them. Why would you want that? Nice is nice. More people should practice this "fake nice" you speak of.
Why? Because we are all human. You aren't required to like everyone or love everyone with your entire being. But the world would be a better place if more people actually tried to be kind, even if it took extra effort. You can change someone's life with a smile or kind word, even if your heart isn't 100% in it.
As far as fake compliments? Take them for what they are and stop overthinking them. That really sounds like a self esteem issue if you think someone complimenting you is fake or unnecessary.